Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Your Pet or YourRelationship?      Home login  
 Space Kitty
Joined: 8/25/2007
Msg: 2
Your Pet or YourRelationship?Page 1 of 35    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35)
No no no. If the cat was here first, the kitty stays. I would not give up the pet, if he was allergic then it would just work out that I'd be going to his place to visit. Not vice versa. He can just stay away from the cat, cause I wouldn't be getting rid of it. How long has your friend been with this boyfriend? Unless I was engaged to the guy, I'd never consider getting rid of a part of my family, which is what the cat would be.
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 10
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/10/2008 3:55:16 PM
I'm not giving up my cat for anyone. Or rather, he is not going to give me up for anyone, since apparently he thinks HE is the owner and I am just staying at HIS house to feed him and scratch his back when HE feels like it.

Women come and go, my cat is always there for me!
Joined: 6/12/2007
Msg: 13
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/10/2008 4:33:52 PM
That's a tough question. I guess it would depend on many things.

Most importantly it would depend on the pet. Many of my pets are strays or pets that needed a home even if it's temporary. I've had so many in my life that I'd have to say that they are not all equal. Some pets I could give up without hesitating. Others I'd really have a hard time giving up.

It would depend greatly on the reason. If a man doesn't like animals then I would not consider living with him. If he was alergic and there was no way he could live with my pet then I would have to choose.

If the reason was legitimate to me then I'd have to decide and that would depend on the man. I can remember a couple of dogs that I had that I wouldn't have given up for all the money in the world so I don't see how a man would have a chance.
 The Artful Codger
Joined: 2/29/2008
Msg: 15
Your Pet or Your Relationship?
Posted: 6/10/2008 4:52:46 PM
Give up the dogs?
For a woman?


Good one OP.
You had me going there for a minute.

Thanks for the laugh ... good times.
That's some funny sh*t.
Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 19
view profile
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/10/2008 5:08:40 PM
I have been trying to give my cat away for the last 10 years. Nobody wants him. And believe me, i have tried. I guess i am stuck with the anti-social child hating monster. At least he has his good points.
Joined: 3/24/2008
Msg: 26
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/10/2008 7:36:41 PM
I don't even have to think twice about it, I would never give up my cats. I'm a package deal, you take it or leave it. My oldest feline, Fifi is 15 years old and I have had her half of my life. She has been in my life longer, then most of my friends. We have moved to three different homes together across country. Her and my other felines were who I leaned on when I suffered a very close loss of a family member a few years ago.

Remember dogs have owners, and cats have staff lol. I enjoy taking care of them and my parents dogs. I couldn't imagen waking up one morning not seeing those huge little eyes and hearing my morning meows.

I dated a very nice guy last year, who wanted me to move in. He hated cats. However, it wasn't the deciding factor that ended our relationship. Just the fact that he wouldn't even make it a consideration or compromise. I'm actually allergic to animals and I deal with it. On top of that I have asthma. Just need to take the appropriate measures. You have to keep a very clean house, which I do and you have to brush your cats frequently. I have worked as a vet asst. and it is easy to deal with. Just some people aren't willing to make an effort.

I have been through plenty of boyfriends, loss of friends and family members, but my cats have always been there. I don't plan on adopting anymore, but these cats came into my home on very special circumstances and they mean the world to me.

So, if someone really loves you they wouldn't ask you to give up your pet. Just like you should never ask another person.

However, I highly respect the fact if someone takes the time to find a really good home and they do it on their own free well. Not because their significant other told them to.

Asking me to give up my pets, would be like asking me to give up my child. They are my family and always will be. So, if you don't like cats guys, just keep moving along because were a package deal.

Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 29
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/10/2008 8:11:14 PM

I'm not giving up my cat for anyone. Or rather, he is not going to give me up for anyone, since apparently he thinks HE is the owner and I am just staying at HIS house to feed him and scratch his back when HE feels like it.

Yeah, I've got one with the same "cattitude".

For me, I'm too much involved with animals, a man who didn't like pets/animals/outdoor life, or who had allergy issues that couldn't be controlled,just wouldn't be a good match for me. So I try to get the "do you like companion animals, do you have allergy issues?" questions asked early on when meeting someone,no sense wasting both of our time on something that's just not gonna work.
Cindy O
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 31
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/10/2008 8:16:16 PM
Hell no...if he's allergic, then he just never comes to my house. The whole relationship takes place elsewhere. Or he can move on and hopefully he meets someone else without a pet. Simple.
Joined: 1/26/2008
Msg: 34
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/10/2008 8:44:31 PM
Ive had my girls 12 & 7 yrs. Got them at only a few weeks old, taught them how to behave, picked up there mess until toilet trained, cuddled them when the big bad thunder comes LOL
They are like my children in a sense. One poster wrote they are incapable of love, I dont know if that is true or not but I love them to bits. My youngest has saved my life. I dont take on a pet with the notion "till a boyfriend do we part".

Only one thing would make me get rid of them and thats if they went mad and hurt a human other than protecting me but then with my care and attention they are never in a position where even an accident could happen.
Joined: 1/26/2008
Msg: 38
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/10/2008 10:53:04 PM

To all the animal lovers
Joined: 5/26/2008
Msg: 40
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/10/2008 11:39:37 PM
moved in with my ex now,she wants and is keeping my cats wont let me havim back guess she is using them to keep on seeing me
Joined: 11/24/2007
Msg: 42
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/11/2008 3:37:24 AM
I am deathly allergic to cats...i avoid dating women with cats, however i have a dog...a non-allergic dog (poodle). I would never ask someone to give up their pet..there's ways u can work around it (meds and such) altho its not easy depending on the severity of the allergy.
Joined: 3/14/2006
Msg: 50
view profile
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/11/2008 8:42:08 AM
You are absolutely right Carrie. But you forgot to mention that if some one truly loved you, would they ask you to give up your dog knowing how much it would hurt you?
I too have a dog and would not even consider giving him up. He is my best friend.
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 53
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/11/2008 12:31:54 PM
I wouldn't begin dating a man who is allergic to cats.

I once had two dates with a guy who had two big dogs--a German Shepherd and a pit bull. There was no third date because he was boring, but also, there was no future: his dogs would have eaten my cat, and I would never expect someone to give up a pet for me.

The cat is a very good judge of character. She is lukewarm to men whom I find to be boring and has really liked the men whom I have liked.
Joined: 10/3/2006
Msg: 54
view profile
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/11/2008 12:33:41 PM
I would NEVER give up my pet for a guy. That's why I always check and see if a guy is allergic to or dislikes cats before we go out. If he is/does, then it's a no-go. I wouldn't give up my baby girl for anything.
Joined: 7/14/2006
Msg: 55
view profile
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/11/2008 12:36:23 PM
The Pet Situation is also weird for me since I have a 6' Red- Tailed Boa that I let roam around the house. It's 15-years old & she might be able to make it to the ripe old age of 30. For a long-term relationship, I would just keep her in tank and hope that my significant doesn't have a big phobia of snakes (like Indiana Jones). It would be sad to just get rid of her (the snake).
Joined: 5/13/2008
Msg: 57
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/11/2008 12:43:46 PM
She must've found out this guy was allergic, before their relastionship progressed that far. I have a cat &, if a woman is allergic, we just stop before it gets started. What was she thinking?
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 67
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/11/2008 2:15:46 PM
Women with no pets or who have cats are usually more approachable and easier to forge a future with.

I always had cats because I know them better (I had them growing up), they don't hang on you (not a fan of neediness) but one or two have backfired on me and been clingy to an extent, and because they are less responsibility (I can come and go easier as I please) because they aren't piggish and they are relatively clean so they can go a couple days with a full supply of water, food and clean litterboxes. Get two and they bother each other and you don't have to give them much attention unless you're in the mood to.

Granted let me say this again - any man (or woman) who feels they are in direct competition with a cat, dog or anything else (child, job, friends, vehicle, alone time) has some issues. If you feel you're getting less attention than someone's dog, basically it could be because you need to find more things to do with your free time...relationships aren't supposed to be so someone else can entertain you.
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 70
view profile
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/11/2008 6:33:11 PM
A pet is attached to you, like a child, I would not just give one away unless I knew it was going to a good home and was happy in that home. I don't care for comments like a man is more important than a pet, etc., it's nothing against the men, it's that I would not give up my children to be with a man, so why would I give up an animal that loves me and depends on me being there for them? I would never expect a man to give up his pet for me, if we don't mesh, pets/kids/likes/dislikes what's the point of the relationship? Having a pet is a responsibility, it's not a disposable object to be forgotten. In most cases I think tossing aside your beloved pet for a man/woman smells of desperation and would make me wonder how easily I could be tossed out.
Joined: 9/26/2007
Msg: 73
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/11/2008 9:52:42 PM
I can't imagine giving up my cat. It would be crushing. Maybe to a family member nearby. That's all I could do and it would still be sad.
Joined: 8/7/2007
Msg: 76
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/12/2008 4:53:44 AM
As one who is horribly allergic to cats, I don't even contact a man who states in his profile that has one. There is no way I would ever come between a pet owner and his pet, so I just don't start something that can't be.
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 77
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/12/2008 5:02:09 AM

In my book, there's no comparison between people and animals. People come first. So I'd find a good home for my pet if my gal couldn't live comfortably with it. I would do it gladly and without resentment, and I wouldn't wait to be asked because some people will never ask.

Why don't you just find your pet a good home now? I mean you're going to meet someone who may not ask and you're all set to do in anticipation why not assume for the sake of the relationship that you'll have in the future clear your house of pets? That way it's one less thing to worry about when the time comes. Why draw the line elsewhere?

If you have a pet now it does NOT come before someone you haven't met yet. If this is your attitude - WHY have one? I never got this. If you'd send a pet off for someone new you're dating - why on earth have one to begin with? Don't traumatize some animal that was minding their own business with your personal issues. Pets should not lose a home because you're dating. If they can, they shouldn't even be there.

In my experience, you gain things from being in a relationship, and you lose things. This is a sacrifice I'd make out of love and concern for my gal's well being and my respect for our relationship.

Unfortunately, seeing pets as "things" is a problem. And I guess that the sacrifice of trust that the pet places in you doesn't matter at all huh? I guess since they can't talk, you can't hear that you're messing their lives up to make things convenient, so you don't have to feel bad.

A pet is like a child in that it's a lifelong commitment that you should see thru till the end. If you cannot promise to take care of them for life, PLEASE don't adopt them in the first place. It's a waste of everyone's time, especially that pet.

Anyone that would get rid of a pet for an SO has issues, and anyone who would ask an SO to do so has issues as well. Can't people who don't like/can't be around pets just date each other?
Joined: 8/21/2004
Msg: 79
view profile
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/12/2008 6:05:36 AM
She GAVE UP Her Cat?? for a ' b o y f r i e n d ' ?!? H*ll no i woulnd't give up my Pet(s) for a guy, and i Would NOT expect Him to........ so sad.... i wish her well, (tell her to get Her Cat Back...)
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 80
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/12/2008 6:18:38 AM

People are very much like the pets they own. Women with no pets or who have cats are usually more approachable and easier to forge a future with. Those with dogs...forget it, they treat their dogs better than most of the people in their lives.

Oh, please, give me facts/stats on women with pets. Who did the study? Or was it you and a bunch of your buds getting together and comparing notes?

If people are like the pets they own, cat owners should be independent and aloof, only desiring attention on their terms. Dog owners should be friendly and crave attention with lots of petting--and much more approachable than a cat person.

If we fall into stereotypes, the Crazy Cat Lady has to be at the top of the list--forge a future with one of them!
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 82
Your Pet or YourRelationship?
Posted: 6/12/2008 7:03:39 AM
I see many people making a feeble attempt to pull on heart strings,but again how much money are you willing spend to save your pets life, would you give up your house ,your car, no , but you would for a family member.

Actually I would give up a house or a car for a pet before I'd give up the same for a family member...but then again you don't know my family - they're QUITE capable of helping themselves.

A pet is not owned or has a "master" either, an animal has a right to choose to be free, as well as human!

Humans domesticated certain animals, and the ones that are free don't necessarily live great lives - thanks to us, BTW. That's like saying the same for children. They can choose to be free right? So let them go....send em out in the world and see if they survive. Oh...wait, their choice to be free isn't very smart if they don't know what's in store? The world is too harsh and scary and there's too many highways, people who might wish them harm, they could get hurt? how is that different?

I agree that at one time in the age of dirt animals were free and living in the wild made sense - most dogs and cat's don't know the wild because we've either all but eliminated it in our civilization or the ability to survive alone has been bred out of them generations ago. Humans started it, so they need to now be responsible about it.

I still say if you aren't a pet person, SIMPLY find someone else who isn't...they aren't that hard to find.

cat owners should be independent and aloof, only desiring attention on their terms.

And in my case, that's exactly how I am as a cat owner...good call Gwen! : ) I even feel smothered by the cats at times, which is why I got two, so they can bother each other!
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Your Pet or YourRelationship?