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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > An observation?      Home login  
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 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 1
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An observation?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
In viewing some people's profiles, it appears to me that perhaps those who have never had children have led much more active lifestyles than those of us that have? They are well traveled, have "numerous" interests and overall, just appear to have done a lot more. Just wondering if anyone would agree? I know this would be true in my case. I have done some travelling and such but apparently not as much as some others??
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 2
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An observation?
Posted: 6/10/2008 8:30:44 PM
No ties... easier to fly and satisfy every whim.
Who knows who we would have been without our children? Then again with children you also learn some important lessons that maybe the 'more' free never get the chance to learn:

patience
generosity
unselfishness
humility
pride
mine also make me laugh a lot...;-)

But if you want to get out into the bigger world...it is a choice you can make, even with kids and a wonderful experience for them as well...dream big and make it happen, there are lots of jobs all over the world....look for them.
 vbxtc
Joined: 3/31/2006
Msg: 3
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An observation?
Posted: 6/10/2008 8:39:32 PM
Hi Moon. I think that you may have a good point in general, but I also think it still comes down to the individuals choices. Being childless has led me to much more free time and more income to indulge myself. If there's an activity I like I can do it as long as I can afford it. I like to travel, therefore, I do. I also don't have to plan around school schedules, family vs. singles resorts, etc. That said, I have friends who have multiple kids and still find time to travel a lot...they just take their kids with them. Many of them still have the same hobbies, they just spend a lot less time on them and/or include the kids as well. I think it really just depends on where and how you choose to spend your resources...including the most precious one of all, time.

I can't wait to see the responses that come back to this. I'm sure they will be very interesting.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 4
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An observation?
Posted: 6/10/2008 9:54:25 PM
Life without children is, to me, an empty experience. In my own case, I have had the money to travel about, and had huge quantities of real life experience which would never have happened without kids in my life. True, I may have done a bit more travel, but it would have hardly been significant. I certainly would have met fewer people, and certainly would have a bigger flat panel TV and a much less practical car, but as one fellow once told me, children are the greatest gifts that life can give.

I have not noticed my childless couple friends enjoying life more than I have. They have more cash in their pockets, but not more life in their cup.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 5
An observation?
Posted: 6/10/2008 11:44:34 PM
I don't know. I took my 11 year old to China with me, but the 13 year old didn't want to change schools, lol! Now I watch my grandchildren get taken to Scotland, Mexico, Africa. So I think it may depend just on the peeps, and what they want. Right now, my own kids are busy doing things with/for their kids. But when the kiddles leave the nest, I'm pretty sure they'll get back to doing things for themselves. So, I guess I'm saying I haven't noticed the same thing you have.


 ForumFilly
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 6
An observation?
Posted: 6/11/2008 1:16:37 AM
I agree, Moon. Raising a child alone didn't leave any time or money for traveling and cultivating expensive hobbies or interests. Certainly without a child I would have had many more opportunities, both careerwise and socially. Would I change it if I could? Absolutely not. My son is my greatest achievement and nothing can compare to the pride and satisfaction I have for him.
 kwozi1
Joined: 2/18/2008
Msg: 7
An observation?
Posted: 6/11/2008 1:20:42 AM
An interesting point, and one that has its seed set in history and the very ancient past.
In hunter gatherer times it was the mans right of passage to go out into the void and find himself, by achieving whatever goal or challenge set by the rules governing on the day. Sometimes you came back alive sometimes you didn't. If you did you had a story to tell around the campfires in the cold of winter. This engendered strange and wonderous feats of daring, new innovations to be tried by the tribe or clan, a new wife for the improvement of the bloodlines. It was considered the normal thing to do in those times. Girls/woman were to stay at home. Learn to cook, to sew, to mend, to be tormented by what we consider in our standards, mundane tasks of society. Womans work." Ha" they all say
For some people today, the romance of this ideal still moves us to carry on these age old traditions, which are inbreed in our DNA. It's such a driving force for those of us who are motivated by our emotions, and little by our logic, for aren't we suppose to get married, stay at home and look after the children. Have cat or a dog. Own a station wagon, and live in the suburbs, and provide for the family.
For most of us, why not? Whats wrong with bringing up a family?
The answer is there isn't anything wrong with that, but these are changing times, and even the farer sex has been won over, and marriages are sadly reducing year by year. Divorces are increasing year by year, and all for the so called good life, the good times, and parties. Where money is merely an obstacle to be overcome at the expense of the greater good. The system is surely geared up for it. People are becoming rich off the back of these individuals and groups, hell bent on leaving their mark, and I ask you whats wrong with that?
Nothing, absolutely nothing.
But ill tell what. Very few young people make it to old age these days. Not a well know statistic. Ever thought why?
The guy above. The todays single new age guy/gal (snag), took risks. Sometimes big risks in there endeavor to achieve whatever goal they may have set, and as you know the more risks you take, the more chances... But the system is gearing up for this as well. Now there is hardly any risk. It's big business. So we seek harder, more dangerous pursuits, Hence extreme sports.
Whats left to achieve one might ask?
If you have to ask, your to old.
Its all relative, and the human genome will never change unless forced to.
I know Im that guy. The way of the warrior runs strong in my blood.
I am the wondering Troubadour seeking my fame and fortune.
I push the limits in extreme sports, that society keeps a very tight rein on, but its not a lonely path anymore. There are many who follow the way of the warrior. Both male and female, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Would you?
 MacKevinized
Joined: 2/15/2006
Msg: 8
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An observation?
Posted: 6/11/2008 4:05:11 AM

Then again with children you also learn some important lessons that maybe the 'more' free never get the chance to learn:

patience
generosity
unselfishness
humility
pride


No one really knows what a creep Mother Theresa was do they?

As if somehow having children magically would have automatically turned us into honorable, pious saints and converted us from drug crazed idiots.
We can start a rehabilitation center where we take all the undesirables, get them pregnant and they mystically get cured.
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 9
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An observation?
Posted: 6/11/2008 4:43:32 AM
Thanks ever so much for reading my post the exact way that I meant it Ageless! I meant no malice towards anyone, was just a thought that I had. You are definately one smart cookie!

VVVedit: Sorry Breathe, I do understand there were a couple of you, actually more! I posted to her for pointing out I had no other intent to my thread other than asking a question.
 kornbluth
Joined: 12/25/2006
Msg: 10
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An observation?
Posted: 6/11/2008 4:48:36 AM

it appears to me that perhaps those who have never had children have led much more active lifestyles than those of us that have?


I could not possibly have gone places and done things I wanted, if I'd had kids. I would have been trapped and forced into a career and regimen that was bound to get tiresome. Then like a lot of people, I would resent that and pollute the domestic tranquility. Since, instead, I did get to wander around, I see that overpopulation is ominous. So obviously it wouldn't do anyone any good to throw more pups into that dogfight.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 11
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An observation?
Posted: 6/11/2008 1:05:07 PM
Much of this depends on your financial situation and reason for having a child(ren).....

If you planned on when you were having a family, and worked to save for it, travel can still happen many times and in many ways. It also depends on how you deal with having a two income family versus a single income while one stays home to care for the child.

I believe the research shows that the higher level of education, having two incomes, and planning on a family later in life, will make a significant difference when it comes to travel, and discretionary funds.

What this all means is that maybe the quantity of your lifestyle might be different, but not necessarily the quality of it all, and the family circle.....

Just my opinion.......
 SueCat51
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 12
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An observation?
Posted: 6/11/2008 3:14:31 PM
OP - that may be a sweeping generalization. I think it boils down to choices. There are childfree couples that don't travel, and don't get out much. It may be their choice, or it could be their circumstances (lack of money; lack of education; lack of time; or other obligations). I've seen couples with kids who globe trot.

While having kids does require more thought, more planning, and considerations, nothing is impossible. There are limitations, but only if you impose them.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 13
An observation?
Posted: 6/11/2008 11:47:45 PM
...I never travelled much as a child, I came from an extremely poor family, it was all we could do to keep food on the table. I remember growing up and going to friends homes where as they seemed to enjoy things that my family couldn't afford like vegetables I had never even heard of and fruit, not just appleas and oranges but a whole assortment. At our house, once the apples and oranges were gone, we didn't see fruit again for weeks at a time. I vowed when I grow up and have my own family, I will always have lots of fruit in the house.....and I would take my kids places.

Well, as it turned out, I ended up raising my children on my own and there was a lot of things I couldn't give them on one salary....it took a while but I did manage to take my daughter to Hawaii with me, Mexico and on a cruise...and we have an abundance of fruit in our home at all times haha.

...maeflowers
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 14
An observation?
Posted: 6/11/2008 11:57:09 PM
I have met some really nice guys who are early 40's who don't have children, most have the open/undecided marked in their profiles. I have sorta dismissed them as someone I would be interested in cause they dont have kids and I think everyone who wants a child in their life should have the opportunity to do so.

My father has me when he was 39, my ex was 41 when our son was born. it. There are so many kids looking for someone to adopt them, to love them. I can't imagine my life without my kids they are such a structural part of it. I would hate to have someone come into my life and it would end up denying them that opportunity.

People are living longer than they did in the past so if there is anyone who hasnt had a child remember there are options out there. Children are a blessing but also a responsibility that can limit what you get to do, but few things in life are as rewarding.
 4UMaybe
Joined: 8/3/2007
Msg: 15
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An observation?
Posted: 6/12/2008 7:06:47 AM
I was thinking about this recently OP...Others seem to have so many interests and activities compared to them I seem boring. I have put "my" interest on the backburner for now while raising children. I do not have much time on a weekly basis or a large discretionary income to try/do many things I would like ie travel more, buy a motorcycle, take dance lessons, go boating, go scuba diving...But all will be in my future.

I understand exactly what you mean...It is not about the choices we have made but how those choices have affected our personal desires.
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