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 bootielicious
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 1
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Looking for 'Geniune' people?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Oh dear, it finally happened to me. I have been accused of NOT being geniune.

So... what makes a person geniune? We often here the word 'geniune' being banded about (least I do) and to my mind it means somene who is pretending to be what they are not, but does it have more than one meaning, or is it a matter of perception?

Do you have to be ready able and willing to meet someone in order to be geniune?

Funnily enough the person who accused me of not being geniune got upset because I confused him with someone else. He phoned me out of the blue and unannounced and wouldn't tell me who he was, so I had to guess. lol I failed the task.

So... the fact that I didn't know the number he rang me on (apparently a works number) I am now not worthy and not geniune as I must be talking to lots of men, with no intention of dating or meeting the person in question.

Do you assume that people you communicate with from sites like this are only talking to you? That without having actually met you are the only person, or is everyone playing a game?

Personally I assume that everyone is talking to several people at the same time as me and that it is possible they may have already met someone else and be getting on well with them. Often people that I am getting on well with vanish, for no other reason other than they have started seeing someone they have successfully met. Does this make then ungeniune? Not for having spoken to me no, possibly if they are dating me simultaneously and then disappear (Not happened).

So... what do you think? What makes someone geniune in your eyes? What are your expectations from a site like this and the people that use it?
 bootielicious
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 2
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Looking for 'Geniune' people?
Posted: 6/13/2008 4:33:25 PM
I'm not fussed by missing out on this guy. I actually found him to be thoughtless and selfish as he assumed since we starting talking he should come first, which was never gonna happen. I have a son

Also, we all have on our profiles what we are looking for and our expectations. If they are not the same, does that mean you are not geniune?

So... is the 'geniune' part all about the meeting? I'm not in a position to meet people at the drop of a hat. Does that mean I shouldn't be here?
 bootielicious
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 3
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Looking for 'Geniune' people?
Posted: 6/13/2008 4:43:18 PM
this thread is not about the guy, it's general. It's about the word 'geniune' geez why do people assume it's a personal attack. I'm looking for other peoples ideas and experiences on this matter.
 Talk4England
Joined: 1/16/2008
Msg: 4
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Looking for 'Geniune' people?
Posted: 6/13/2008 5:15:17 PM
I would assume that until something significant happens in a relationship/friendship you make (possible on here or elsewhere) and there is commitment on both sides you should be free to speak to, meet & socialise with more than one person. Doesn't hurt to let people know that you are talking/seeing others at the friends stage but you shouldn't have to.

I have had the 'not genuine' accusation because I decided after a couple of meets that a person was not for me and was honest about it.

You shouldn't have to cut contact with everyone else just because you decide to have a couple drinks or a coffee with one. You wouldn't do that in the real world.

PS Booty - well done on the svelte new figure, you look lovely. Couldn't send you this personally 'cos you don't accept mail from old men like me! G'luck.
 upupupupaway
Joined: 1/1/2008
Msg: 5
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Looking for 'Geniune' people?
Posted: 6/13/2008 10:57:18 PM
I agree with Cman---

What he means I think(poss from experience) is people say one thing on here then when it gets down to it their agenda is something else---mine recent change from friends (cause I have enough ppl to be able to keep up with mailing ect) to DATING. So while I am at it anyone for a DATE.

OP it is in the eye of the beholder, most ppl would have their slant on what it means--in you case perhaps this guy made unsaid assumptions about what/who you were about and his lill impression of you has been shattered----anyhow names/labels are ways of making you feel good or bad --if you let them eh.
 bootielicious
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 6
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Looking for 'Geniune' people?
Posted: 6/14/2008 1:26:07 AM

So, you get a phone call out of the blue, and you guess the caller incorrectly...obviously you are a tart and a hussy. What sort of woman would possibly have male friends who call, brothers, co-workers????

It sounds to me like you got a lucky break here. Imagine if you did start dating him...how long before he is demanding to know where you are, who you are with, what time you will be back, checking emails.....

Definitely one to chuck back in the pond!


That is kind of what I thought. Plus he told me that he had left this site as there were too many players on here and yet yesterday when I decided to do a local search his profile was still there. Someone tells porkies!!! Wonder how geniune he is?

I agree with what most have said here. If you are honest about what you are looking for, then you are geniune. It's when you pretend to be what you think the other person is looking for you cease being so.

I think it annoyed me as I am a very honest and open person. I sometimes wonder if I swallowed a truth drug at birth. The accusation was unfounded and annoying. I am very wary of people that complain that everyone is players etc, as it makes you wonder if they are just sore losers and not good at rejection. I hadn't even rejected this one, just had other issues I needed to deal with and hadn't spoken to him for a week or two.

Maybe some people forget that other people have a life and responsibilities that mean they can't always give the attention that you want. I know I have thought at times people wern't keen on me because I hadn't heard from them for awhile, only to find there had been a death in the family or major crisis. It's best to find out why before accusing.
 Talk4England
Joined: 1/16/2008
Msg: 7
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Looking for 'Geniune' people?
Posted: 6/14/2008 3:05:42 AM
Forgot to mention I was made in a far eastern sweat shop & my designer label is badly printed & rubbing off. Does this mean I won't get coffee offers from all looking for a 'genuine' person?
 bootielicious
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 8
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Looking for 'Geniune' people?
Posted: 6/14/2008 3:37:14 AM
Thanks for your thoughts, this is more what I was looking for. I hate it when I start to doubt myself and I shouldn't because I know I was honest to myself and didn't make any promises other than friendship, which I gave.

Speak4england you're a fake jumper? lol, that's one quirky sense of humour you have there lol.
 marisia
Joined: 10/25/2008
Msg: 9
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Looking for 'Geniune' people?
Posted: 7/11/2009 10:11:02 AM
Hi I agree , being genuine means being open and honest about what you want. Sonetimes though we just do not know ourselves, and it can change depending on the dynamics between two people. Honesty is always the best

I met a man who assumed I should still be waiting for his call after a months silence (we had met twice). Then became quite humpy, calling me names when he thought I had met someone else. The truth was I had 'nt but considering the lenght of silence if felr it was quite irrelavent. I wasnt interested and assumed his silence indicated the same othersise I would have told him earlier. : :tongue

The tricky part is remembering we are probably sane and fair, but the person being offensive is not.

I think men are better at this than ladies although i may be about to be told i am mistaken.
 gemini_lady_uk
Joined: 7/16/2008
Msg: 10
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Looking for 'Geniune' people?
Posted: 7/11/2009 10:27:25 AM
To me genuine means being honest. It means saying what you mean and meaning what you say.

I never expect anyone to be talking to me and me only. I have had guys messsage me after a long time silent and have had to admit I have no idea who they are - would be different if I had actually met them and they had left an impression.

This is the only site of this type that I use and I expect nothing from it, am happy if I get a bit of a chat - that way I can't be dissapointed.
 marisia
Joined: 10/25/2008
Msg: 11
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Looking for 'Geniune' people?
Posted: 7/11/2009 10:28:54 AM
hi,
I have learnt the ones who deliver the patter eg I think you are wonderful, id never hurt cheat on you etc etc, are genuinly suspect.
As in life generally if it seems too good to be true then it is.

Why men and i assume women, take on different personers and lie through there back teeth is beyond me, but there are plenty out there. Go by your gut instinct especially over small things initially.

I met the man of my dreams, so genuine would never cheat etc etc, I went to his house, briefly met his daughter and went to where he did am dram. We went out for almost 18 months when I discovered everything was a lie down to his personality.
I was one of four girlfriends, the longest 2and half years.
- when we first met he admitted that one c hristmas eve he got so drunk his children could not awake him on xmas day and i remember thinking if thats how he treats his kids it doesnt bode well for me. But to all intents and purposes he treated me really well for the first 6 months

What I learned from this and a few other odd encounters was reasons to be suspicious. Paying by cash - leaves no paper trail.
- Phones that have poor reception and not using a land line. Although saying this my ex husband doesnt have a land line.
-Repeated incidences withexcuses that have you feeling bad that you ever questioned them.
- Needing space.
- Inability to suddenly change plans and go to his place.

Always use instinct.

Hope this helps.
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