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 SpiceyCougar
Joined: 4/29/2008
Msg: 4
How much is enough???Page 1 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
Anything over $500 is too much in my opinion. But then again, I want an emerald (the stone of Aphrodite). No diamonds for me.

If he wants to spend a rediculous amount of money on me, pay for the dress or a flat screen tv.

But... just my preferance.
 BaldyisBeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 11
How much is enough???
Posted: 6/19/2008 9:57:18 PM
I'm thinking it might stretch my budget to get one of those rings out of a machine that has a fuzzy spider on top ... but if the girl was really special I might splurge and get a lollipop finger ring! I know, I shouldn't brag about how much money I have especially when there are so many people that have less them me out there ... but what can I say, I am a true romantic!
 BaldyisBeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 13
How much is enough???
Posted: 6/19/2008 10:28:30 PM
OOOO, OOOO, OOOO, I have a personal experience story also ... your gonna love this one trust me.

Just before my ex and I got married (our wedding day was April 18th) we were at the mall for St. Paddy's Day. Back then I was broke off my butt and I promised I would get her a ring before the wedding since I never really proposed (she got pregnant ... yeah, yeah, I know ... shoot me). So anyway we are at the mall and there is this contest going on where you go to all the stores in the mall and ask the cashier for a game piece which was in the shape of a gold nugget. You scratch off the bottom of the nugget and if it's green or gold you win a prize.

I got the gold one!

So I am instructed to take it down to this jewelry store and turn it in for the Emerald Necklace they have on display. I get down there and talk to the clerk telling him my sob story about getting married and no rings as of yet and he offers me a deal for $1,000 for this wedding set in exchange for the Emerald Necklace. So my ex got a $900 ring and I got a $100 gold band.

Gotta love my luck sometimes ... must be that Irish in me.
 John_Mon
Joined: 4/30/2008
Msg: 14
How much is enough???
Posted: 6/19/2008 11:23:48 PM
Obviously it depends on one's salary, but I think it should be at least $1 or more over the most expensiove toy you have ever bought not including a vehical, - or boat :). Sound Good?. Yes, no?
 AZgradstudent
Joined: 2/16/2008
Msg: 17
How much is enough???
Posted: 6/19/2008 11:50:41 PM
If you'd turn down a great guy because he didn't want to waste a house or car payment on a useless indicator of couplehood, then you're probably both better off apart. The wedding ring is the hood ornament on the institution that is a marriage. Focusing on details like that (and all the trauma that some ladies create in regard to their wedding ceremony) is just one reason that less and less men are even interested in marriage these days.

How about you focus on the person and not the materialism?

 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 21
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How much is enough???
Posted: 6/20/2008 12:44:26 AM
Make a deal with him, whatever he spends on a ring, you'll buy something for him of the same price. Anything he wants, new wheels, big screen tv, whatever. That's the only way for you to be 'equal'. Women do want equality, right?
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 22
How much is enough???
Posted: 6/20/2008 3:06:22 AM
Don't you think it's rather stupid to set a price on an engagement ring, a priori? How about looking for a ring you LIKE before looking at how much it costs? In any case, a diamond bigger than a carat looks tacky (unless you have grey hair that's been dyed blue and wear purple lipstick. ) If a woman made a big deal out of the cost of a ring and threatened to dump me over it, I'd tell her to get lost and I'd go spend the money on hookers.
 FluffyBrain
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 23
How much is enough???
Posted: 6/20/2008 3:16:28 AM
debeers has done a great marketing job associating love & commitment with their product....
 SpiceyCougar
Joined: 4/29/2008
Msg: 26
How much is enough???
Posted: 6/20/2008 9:27:16 AM

SpiceyCougar: An Emerald would be a very poor choice for a Wedding Ring.


The emerald is the stone of Aphrodite. The Goddess of Love. To me... the emerald signifies passion and adoration because that is what Aphrodite was about. I would much prefer the emerald for what is stands for over what the "quality" of the stone. And to be honest, if a jewler "forbid" me to buy the choice of stone I know best represents the love I have for someone.... I would gladly go to someone who understands why I prefer the emerald over a diamond.

To me... the quality of what emerald stands for is much more important than the longevity of the stone itself.

Which brings me to another point in this whole, very sad thread..................................................................................

IT'S JUST A RING!!! A piece of metal and a stone.

I CANNOT beleive people are getting THIS out of shape over just a ring!!

There are people not driving their cars right now because of the price of gas! People selling their cars because it is cheaper to take the bus. After the last two weeks of the floods.... people will be paying more for groceries. People in this country are losing their houses because they cannot offord the payments. A huge company here in Columbus just laid off 1500 people! It was people on the higher "food chain". Those people went from making $100,000 a year to nothing.

... and you want a man to pay three months of salory on a ring you can show off to your girlfriends????

Wouldn't women rather know that their man only paid a small amount on a ring so that he can offord a new house instead?

Again... isn''t what the ring signifies more important than the ring itself?
 SpiceyCougar
Joined: 4/29/2008
Msg: 28
How much is enough???
Posted: 6/20/2008 9:34:57 AM

Make a deal with him, whatever he spends on a ring, you'll buy something for him of the same price. Anything he wants, new wheels, big screen tv, whatever. That's the only way for you to be 'equal'. Women do want equality, right?


How about I buy him the ring and he buy me the tv??? That way if something happens along the way... I got a GREAT tv outta the deal?

Yeap... I am ALL for that equality!!
 dallastxman10101
Joined: 4/30/2008
Msg: 31
How much is enough???
Posted: 6/20/2008 10:22:19 AM
I have no idea but I my guess on this would be it all depends on who the couple is. If your 18, pregnant and marrying your high school sweet hart. Id think no ring to something around $59.00 at best buy. Now it's more about the commitment and making a future. If your in your mid twenties both have entry level jobs, right out of college and you made it though all the dating and school and you still want to marry, your both working toward your future and a family. I would think it’s something that you both should talk about considering it's a life time piece of jewelry and in reality you both will be paying for it. Now in my case. I’m 41 and I have already found a diamond that I fell in love with so I bought it. I had it set in a traditional platinum engagement setting and it sits in a safe until the time I find the women I love and want to marry. I will give it to her because I know when I saw it that it said I LOVE YOU. As far as the band that will have to be made for it. I’d hope by the time we make this decision I will know what she want, like and will enjoy and when she looks at it on that day for the first time. Her first thought will be “Dam I am marring the right man, he knows me inside and out”. Oh what was the cost compared to my salary hmmm... with out the band its was about 2 1/2 months salary that I paid for it but I got it from a friends that had ties to Africa and the jeweler business so it appraises and is insured for closer to 6 to 7 months salary,,,,, So in reality you got no answer form me what so ever.
 BaldyisBeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 36
How much is enough???
Posted: 6/20/2008 11:52:03 AM
I'm sitting here listening to the rolling stones and can't help but think that Mick Jagger has it right: "You can't always get what you want ... "
 SpiceyCougar
Joined: 4/29/2008
Msg: 37
How much is enough???
Posted: 6/20/2008 12:31:35 PM
I was thinking about all this... again.

You know... why is it that we are "supposed" to spend this or that. Who made these rules? Why is it so important to follow them?

Also... why not buy a simple ring for the engagement and a huge very expensive one on the 10th anniversary?

I don't know... I am different. I could care less about certain traditions.

...Maybe that's why I am still single.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 38
How much is enough???
Posted: 6/20/2008 12:53:09 PM

Buying an engagement ring is NOT about greed or materialism. It's about buying a symbol of their love and desire to spend their lives together.


If all anyone has to do is spend money to acquire a symbol of love, I can see why the divorce rate is so high. It would be really interesting to plot the divorce rate as a function of the cost of an engagement ring to see f there is a correlation (other than the one deBeers would like to promote.) I'm going to speculate that the divorce rate is lowest in marriages where the wife didn't really care about the expense and the husband went to a lot of effort (not debt) to buy something really nice without mortgaging their future.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 40
How much is enough???
Posted: 6/20/2008 12:59:53 PM

Sorry guys but the ring means everything.


At least you know what you want and you'll probably end up getting it: a nice ring collection. however, you just made me realize something. Given the expense of a hooker for a week, one could break even with a $10,000 ring if the engagement lasted a week. At 6 months, it's a real bargain.
 SpiceyCougar
Joined: 4/29/2008
Msg: 41
How much is enough???
Posted: 6/20/2008 1:08:05 PM

Given the expense of a hooker for a week, one could break even with a $10,000 ring if the engagement lasted a week. At 6 months, it's a real bargain.




And if we consider that most vanilla women end up dominating the entire marraige. When the average pay of a Dominatrix is $250 an hour.

Then again, house cleaning will run someone about $100 a week.

YOU'RE RIGHT... the guy is getting a killer bargain!!

House cleaning.... sex.... domination.... all the time everyday.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 46
How much is enough???
Posted: 6/20/2008 1:33:05 PM
YOU'RE RIGHT... the guy is getting a killer bargain!!

House cleaning.... sex.... domination.... all the time everyday.


I now see that what I wrote can be interpreted two completely different ways. I had something more subtle in mind, namely that it's much more economical to get engaged for six months than hire a hooker for a week. I was addressing the idea of the ring being all important, so I said nothing about actually getting married.
 SpiceyCougar
Joined: 4/29/2008
Msg: 50
How much is enough???
Posted: 6/20/2008 2:07:49 PM

I was addressing the idea of the ring being all important, so I said nothing about actually getting married.




We all know the fairy tale is over after the wedding anyway. Says so in the books.

"The End"
 jessicarenee1977
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 52
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How much is enough???
Posted: 6/20/2008 2:41:08 PM
The cost of the ring should not matter. What should be appreciated is the fact that another person loves you so much, they want to spend the rest of their life being with you. My ex spent 130 some dollars on my whole set AND his wedding band. It was on clearnace, and I found it PERFECT for me. Our wedding also cost a total of about 300 dollars. That was also PERFECT in every way. It is not about spending however much on anything, it is about being a smart shopper. Find the best deals.

Someone mentioned that they wouldnt want anyone that didnt spend big money on rings and weddings, because it would mean they were not financially stable. I find that kinda stupid. I would rather any man shop smart, and keep that extra money in the savings account. That , I consider, is being financially responsible. Besides I know I will probably lose that ring a few times, and probably knock it down the drain a time or two. OH, and what about that crazed mugger who could ultimately wind up with that ring. I do not wish for my SO to have paid for thousands of dollars worth of drugs, or whatever else.
JMO
 CaliSoldier
Joined: 6/2/2008
Msg: 54
How much is enough???
Posted: 6/20/2008 4:00:46 PM
Is the cash he spent, the important part?
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 56
How much is enough???
Posted: 6/20/2008 4:08:46 PM
personally, i don't see the point of spending a huge amount of money on anything that can be so easily lost or stolen - i'd hate to have to feel nervous when wearing it - that something might happen to it... but on the other hand i think it's silly to own things that you're just gonna lock away to keep safe... so honestly, something simple and pretty would be great...

... my engagement ring from my ex husband was a thin band with two little gold hearts and a teeeeny diamond in each, he'd chosen it himself thinking of me and said that when he could afford it, he'd get a bigger, more expensive, one - i told him i didn't want it - it really was the thought that counted - his choosing something so sweet and personal and different - something intimate rather than ostentatious and flashy (when i left him at the end of our marriage, i left the engagement ring behind too - because it was something i considered that contained inherent intimacy and shared promises)

if it's him who's wanting to know how much money to spend, then it should be whatever he feels comfortable with, imo

(another thought - if you've got 3 months salary hanging around waiting to be used, then i'd suggest using it on a vacation or season's passes to the theatre/sports activity/or something - that you can share together and create living memories of - not something sterile and cold like jewelry - but that's just my preference)
 LoonyTunz
Joined: 8/11/2006
Msg: 59
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How much is enough???
Posted: 6/20/2008 4:25:43 PM
OP I recall that thread you originated before ..... and your responses.
Unless you've grown considerably, you aren't worth a plastic ring from a machine outside the grocery store. Other women are worth giving trinkets worth thousands for birthdays or "just because".


no please hold off from responding if your answer is going to be " if you love them it doesn't matter" I'm looking for if HE WANTS to buy a ring how much should he spend.... not I"M DEMANADING he spend a certain amount... thanks

If HE wants to buy you are ring HE should spend whatever he feels appropriate. End of story.
If she complains that I just spent more on a boat that I had been saving for longer than I've even known her than on her ring, I'd show her the door since I can find many more sensible ladies willing to share my company.

EDIT:


So many men in this post are just making me think that men do not value love, or a marriage... you know what I'm all for love over money.. but it sounds to me like most of these guys in here are just CHEAP!!

Nope you are just "selling yourself", and frankly that can be had at a much better price aswell. Your physical appeal fades with every year, and if that is all you have to offer why would I pony up a bunch of cash when I'd just want to trade you in for either a newer model or one that uses her head for more than a hat rack in the future.
 LoonyTunz
Joined: 8/11/2006
Msg: 61
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How much is enough???
Posted: 6/20/2008 4:39:35 PM
itbelilolme the "experts" just happen to be de Beers, you know the diamond people....... and they also had a newer campaign telling us it is now 6 months salary.
Half of what I make only buys ostentatious gaudy rings or huge rocks, none of which are any of my current gf's preference in jewels.
 xeot
Joined: 10/25/2007
Msg: 62
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How much is enough???
Posted: 6/20/2008 4:41:52 PM

How much should you spend on an engagement ring??? my mom asked me this because a girl at her work asked her... I told my mom 3 months salary...


Amazing how a Debeers marketing campaign becomes a social obligation.

I really do think these marketing schemes are aimed at women because a good number of women translate them into expectations of men and then the men feel stuck even if they know it is just a marketing scam.

It started as 2 months decades ago, but debeers updated the marketing in the last few years and pushed it to three.

And my thoughts on the matter are, if I got that far along with a woman and suddenly this sort of status-materialism-sheeple characteristic came out, I would reconsider the whole thing because she's probably been deceptive the whole time and probably about way more than that.

PS: Diamonds are rather common stones anyway. The supply is controlled by the debeers cartel. If you want to get something of real value, get something else that is actually rare.

Re: Brandiii (Msg: 76)... lol. another way to look at that is buying the woman.
 thatswhatshesaid
Joined: 12/28/2007
Msg: 66
How much is enough???
Posted: 6/20/2008 6:09:19 PM
OP,

You're only 25, so if a guy your age is proposing, $800 is a perfectly fine price for a ring. A ring is just a symbol, and if you want to build a life together, you should save your 5,000 "ring money" for a downpayment on a house, (professional) school or, god forbid, rainy day money in case one of you get sick.

A few years ago, a guy friend of mine proposed to his girlfriend of 3 years. He had been a lawyer in a medium firm earning 6 figures when they met. His girlfriend was an architect earning about the same. They both decided to quit their jobs and move to NY to be actors. She totally encouraged and inspired him to actually attempt this, which had been nothing more than a pipe dream for many years. When they got married, they exchanged rings that were 5 dollar "prop" rings, which they still wear.

They are the happiest couple I know 5 years later, because they only work very minimally at temp jobs and spend the rest of their time auditioning, doing student films, taking acting classes and basically living.
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