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 RDtoo
Joined: 1/30/2005
Msg: 1
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Incredibly alive peoplePage 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I was at a POF party at a bar tonight and noticed a couple of people on the dance floor about my age (50ish). Anyways, both of them were extremely good looking people and not only that, they were having a ball out there. It was like everyone in the bar was drawn to them. We had some food for the POFers and this couple was noticing it, and I went over and talked to them and told them to help themselves. I ended up talking to them for the next couple of hours and they were just as much fun as they had looked on the dance floor. Anyways, the bar closed and they bid me farewell in the parking lot and disappeared into the night. When they left I kind of felt depressed. It was kind of like the Wizard of Oz, when they were there everything was in color, and when they left everything went back to black and white. I have rarely seen people in my age bracket light up a place like that. I am still trying to figure out how 2 people can be that "alive" and make everyone else feel mundane. Anyone ever have this kind of experience or have any clues to what set these people apart from everyone else?
 RDtoo
Joined: 1/30/2005
Msg: 2
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Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/21/2008 1:31:03 AM
I suppose that great sex could be the reason they were so alive. That would definetly make you feel more alive, but I think it went beyond that. They actually were not all that lovey dovey with one another. In fact, the guy insisted several times that I take her out on the dance floor. They did not seem very possesive of each other but more like confident of the unshakeable bond between them. I really am quite envious.

This couple looked and acted like people you would encounter at a Hollywood party, not in a dive bar in the suburbs of Detroit. I just wonder if being that good looking just gives you some kind of aura or something. Though I have met extremely good looking people before that were about as lively as a brass doorknob.
 ForumFilly
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 3
Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/21/2008 1:52:03 AM
Some people truly love life and they bring that feeling to everything they do. It radiates from them and people notice it. They live each day to the fullest and are outgoing, happy, friendly people. They are a joy to see and be around. They can brighten up the darkest night. Too bad there aren't more like us around. LOL
 Ron9
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 4
Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/21/2008 8:49:42 AM
I always enjoy seeing happy couples. Couples that sincerely like being around each other.

Pleasant people (all pleasant people) are a joy to be around. No matter if they are 20 or 80. They are at peace with themselves. They have no reason (and avoid contrived reasons) to bring others down. They keep what ever sadness / disappointments - heart breaks to themselves and don’t spill it over onto others.

I work from a home office and have for over 20 years. I don’t date and unless I invent a reason - I am here in this office all the time. So ... I get out and people watch. I watch the world outside of this office. Often some other soul comes up and we sometimes talk for hours - without even exchanging names. I am usually on my motorcycle - that gives people an excuse/reason to come up and start talking.

One of my favorite people is a guy named John. I have no idea what his last name is. He is about 40 or so - a black guy with jagged teeth. That man is just happy by nature. He takes what ever life throws at him and just handles it and goes on his way.

Spending 95% of my time alone - then getting out and remembering that I too am part of this world - running into people like John and others is very nice indeed.

Pleasant people are a joy. They keep me reminded of what life is really all about.
 RDtoo
Joined: 1/30/2005
Msg: 5
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Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/21/2008 10:14:53 AM
I think some of you might have misunderstood me. I did not despise these people, I liked them. Yes, I was envious of their relationship because I have never found someone that I clicked with that well, but these people were really friendly. In fact, the guy was somewhat obnoxious, but in a likeable way. In fact, I am not a very dull person. I am usually known as the life of the party and have a fair amount of charisma myself, but I am not incredibly good looking or wealthy either. Cosmetic surgery might have played a part, the woman did not tell her age but said she graduated high school in the 60s. She looked 40. Still, I have been around alot of rich, successful and beautiful people and found most of them as boring and unexciting as ugly poor people so I don't know if that is it.

For the fellow who wondered if they were from out of town visiting poor old "decrepit" Detroit, I can tell you yes, there are sections of Detroit that are rusted and vacant. There are also sections of town that would give Beverly Hills a run for its money. There is alot of money here. Yes, they were from a suburb that is somewhat wealthier than the one I live in. I guess my original point was not to wonder why these people were so attractive as to wonder why everyone else is so boring.
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 6
Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/21/2008 4:55:58 PM
Passion...for life and all that is in it! Live passionately and you will appear alive to others to!
 TxSippiGal
Joined: 9/30/2007
Msg: 7
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Posted: 6/21/2008 5:45:57 PM

The right thing to do is despise them and envy them because they were having fun and you weren't. Do not say they were good looking or that they were good dancers. Say they looked like stuck up phonies and attention whores. That will make you feel better about shyly hanging back in the shadows afraid to cut loose.



(I can't breathe)
 RDtoo
Joined: 1/30/2005
Msg: 8
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Posted: 6/21/2008 10:55:40 PM
I doubt there is one person on here who would say that they have no passion for life. There are happy, passionate, successful people everywhere who would go unnoticed in a crowd. I have seen people at the bar who were so enamored with themselves that they thought they were the focal point of the place, I guess the truth would only have been disappointing to them..lol.

I have been thinking about this couple and one thing nobody has mentioned is that these people were in their element. Being in your element is right next to charm in my book. I have seen people who were "stars" in the bars they regularly attended go to a party and go unnoticed. I have never been one to feel totally comfortable in a bar. I have always felt like a shoe on the wrong foot. This couple must feel in their element in a club or bar.
 Celticmist
Joined: 2/1/2005
Msg: 9
Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/22/2008 7:33:13 AM

Now if you take two healthy expressive people and put them in a good relationship, you end up with what you described. So much positive energy is given off that everyone around them can feel it immediately.


When you have two people who care about each other and enjoy life, the very air around them sparkles with life and love. People around them feel their joy. I have known a few couples like that in my life, perhaps that is what makes me so "picky".
 RDtoo
Joined: 1/30/2005
Msg: 10
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Posted: 6/22/2008 8:45:33 AM
Sanschele, to be honest, after reading your post (msg. 12) I just kind of rolled my eyes. I was wrong and I apologise. You are spot on. In my own life, I have had extreme degrees of success with the opposite sex. I have had women practically battle over me, and, more often, could not pay anyone to get their attention. I never could figure this out. I think you nailed it though. I am naturally cynical. I tend to see the bad in everything rather than the good. I think the bad vibes I give off usually scares people off. On the other hand, I have known men who seem to attract women by just standing there doing nothing. Thinking about it, these guys usually are happy optomistic types. They must be giving off good vibes, which was what the couple in my OP must have been doing. It seemed so simple that it didn't seem right, but I suppose it is. Guess I should go back and read that little flyer about Attitude by Charles Swindoll that they used to pass out at work.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 11
Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/22/2008 9:27:00 AM
...Its about giving off "positive vibes".....people tend to want to be around those types. I have 2 teenage daughters at home and my eldest has such a great disposition. She is always happy, laughing and joking and has such a positive outlook. People seem to gravitate towards her, she has lots of friends.
Now my other daughter who is 2 years younger is totally opposite, she tends to be on the negative side, very hard to please and has very few friends. She of course is very envious of her older sister's popularity......but like I tried to explain to her, people do not want to be surrounded by unhappy, negative people. I explained that whether you realize it or not, a person's negative feelings are some "absorbed" by others. No one wants to feel like that....so they avoid.
The same holds true in the adult world, who do you want to be around?

...maeflowers
 SueCat51
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 12
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Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/22/2008 12:58:34 PM
I've known some people like this. Yes, my jaw is in awe of them. There are people out there that have a certain gift, I don't know if they are born with it, work at it, or perhaps some of both. People are drawn to them like magnets. They are very chrismatic people, they are very people oriented type of people. When you converse with them, you are the center of their attention. They make you feel comfortable, important, and alive.
 RDtoo
Joined: 1/30/2005
Msg: 13
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Posted: 6/22/2008 4:51:29 PM
The funny thing is, I went to another POF party last night, and a guy who was there saw me talking to that couple. He gave me some info about a previous experience he had with them, which is leading me to believe they are what is known as "swingers". There were some clues to that on Friday night but I ignored it.
 RDtoo
Joined: 1/30/2005
Msg: 14
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Posted: 6/23/2008 10:57:14 PM
Epiclove, I imagine you were addressing that to me, the OP. Thank you. And your post was brilliant. As for your last sentence, I feel the same towards you.
 FloridaMusicMan
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 15
Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/25/2008 10:55:28 AM
I must agree with CathieT msg 42.I recently moved to SW Florida.All the people in my neighborhood are seniors in their 70's+.They have pool parties,and golf every day.They wave and sime driving their golf carts through the neighborhood.Life is an attitude,positive attitude radiates positively.I enjoy playing music and do so several times a week.I see all ages of people over 50 enjoying,dancing,and cuting up.Letting go of all those insecurities and giving in to your inner child is a wonderful thing.Music is the language of the soul and if it speaks to yours then listen.
 codedout
Joined: 7/25/2004
Msg: 16
Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/25/2008 2:09:53 PM
For some of people they got a second lease on life. I am one of those lucky people. I used to be intraverted, and sit back in the shadows.

10 yrs ago my life changed drastically, I had a choice to lay down and die or get up and live. I chose life, so now when I go out I try to meet as many people as I can obviously filtering good from bad and surround myself with some warm, wonderful people.

I am probably one of those people you described in the OP. The one good thing about giving out good positive vibes and love, is that whatever you send out you get back. We have a fairly large b-day bash each year, this year there were 70 attendees.

One of the first timers to the party was astonished at the people there and was even shocked that I knew them all personally. By the end of the night he had met some new firends and was acting like the people you described.

Its kind like I quote in my profile:
"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming 'Wow! What a ride!!!'"
 NiceOnPurpose
Joined: 12/17/2007
Msg: 17
Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/25/2008 2:13:21 PM
I think that when you love what you are doing at a given moment it shows. If you love humanity it shows. Good health, a sense of humor and good hair dye help a lot too.
 carelesswhisper00
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 18
Incredibly alive people
Posted: 6/26/2008 2:58:46 PM
Being in love, sharing things together, communicating , showing affection and appreciation is a wonderful thing. It seems these people were all of the above. If only everyone could be this way the world could be a better place. I think these people are very lucky to have found one another and obviously it shows. Kudos to them!
 fancynanci
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 19
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Posted: 6/26/2008 3:59:37 PM
I've been told I'm like that. I think I've been like this since birth...
 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 20
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Posted: 2/6/2010 3:34:51 AM
this thread made me very nostalgic. i've always loved life and laughed a lot. lately, i'm meeting a lot of very depressed people. then there are the couch potatoes. with my disablity, i seem to have more energy than many of those physically fit, around me. i sooooooooooooooooooo miss nyc, with the hustle and bustle and creativity, alongside the really good jazz bars. it's real pretty where i live now and my kids are thus far close by. it's a college town, has music and dance, but where are all the older folks who still love to brainstorm and have passion in their voices? does it take two as portrayed by the OP? if no, then why is everyone i meet so glum lately? it 's gotta be something with me, that i am attracting. or, is this just about becoming old farts and that is at some point inevitable? damn, i wanna go down with raucous laughter and joy! hmm, by go down, i mean meet my maker--not the other kind. although, second thought.....
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 21
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Posted: 2/6/2010 8:47:39 AM
"it's contagious; loving life and having fun in what they do when possible, it shines, it's good to be around"

I am thrilled to be part of a group like that here in Canada, and other group in another country.

I swear people read our energy levels and are drawn to it. Frankly, I don't get living any other way.

I am gifted with the energy to do all the things that are important to me. I get a huge high out of doing rescue work with animals, as do the people in my group here in Canada.

If I do want to take a break, I just think about the fact that others have more need than I and the reward I get from what I do is so worth it.

We got together for a night out last night. Yes, multiple people we drawn to join us (not always a good thing).
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 22
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Posted: 2/6/2010 11:16:17 AM
We were out last night at a bar with a group of friends (about 8 other couples) who are basically all like you describe, RDtoo. We pretty much made the party, had a blast with karaoke, pool, flirting, dirty dancing, and just socializing. Most are in the 40 to 60 range, in long term happy marriages, and *gasp* most are swingers. We call the group the non-jealousy club.

Often, other people in the bar at these impromptu gatherings join our party for the evening and have a blast too.
 damassteel
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 23
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Posted: 2/6/2010 3:57:15 PM
My GF and I are both very good dancers. One night while at a local Tappas Bar, when a selection by "Buena Vista Social Club" came over the sound system, we got up and began to dance. In that moment we were totally oblivious to the rest of the crowd and focused on one another. The song ended and all who watched us appauded.
I think it was the fact that we were unselfconscious enough to just enjoy the moment as though we were the only ones in the place. That I think, captured the imagination of the others. It was kind of like a musical movie where the couple breaks into song and dance in the midst of a romantic scene; we initiated a somewhat "surreal" moment not seen everyday and we simply brought others along with us for the ride; They liked it.
 LG2727
Joined: 1/20/2010
Msg: 24
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Posted: 2/7/2010 8:13:08 AM
All my friends(men and women) are like that! We enjoy getting together whether its dancing, boating, parties, etc. Some of the most fun and active people I know are in thier 60s, you would never know it because of their zest for life. I thank God I found such wonderful kindred spirits! As far as why we still like enjoying life? I dont understand why you are confused unless you are that lonely and unhappy?
 oldkid
Joined: 7/3/2006
Msg: 25
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Posted: 2/7/2010 9:23:10 AM
On an individual basis, it is attitude and self confidence. The real multiplyer is having 2 or more people together with similar attitudes - they tend to inspire each other to greater heights. Watch couples who do a little flirt, tease each other, enjoy some spontaneous laughter - they light up the room and make others feel good about themselves. Throw your hang-ups out the window and enjoy life.
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