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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > How do you define romance?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 MaryAnn Singleton
Joined: 6/6/2008
Msg: 1
How do you define romance?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
There have been a few threads concerning romance and online dating and it made me wonder - how do we define romance? I thought it would be interesting to put the question out there and see what most people think romance is.

I'll start off with my definition... In my opinion, it's NOT presents and cards and flowers - basically it's not anything you can buy someone unless you buy someone the absolutely perfect gift - something that you know is meaningful to them.

I think that real romance is found in actions. For example, caring about what the person has to say, not just listening but being interested and stimulated by their thoughts and opinions. It's being loyal and being there for someone when they are down, or when they need help in some way. It can be something as simple as a smile at the right time, or a touch on the arm, a gesture that shows that you care.

So I'm curious. What do the rest of you POF'ers think?
 AustinTyler
Joined: 4/15/2008
Msg: 2
How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/21/2008 6:25:10 PM
I define it, in the movies.
 FunChick123
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 3
How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/21/2008 6:59:31 PM
I agree OP. My most romantic times did not include flowers or cards... it's more of a feeling, a moment.

... going for a walk, talking about nothing and staring up at the stars
... a case of beer, staring out a lake and cudding with my guy

That's what I consider romantic.

I've actually found that when you try too hard to force the moment, it feels fake and just ruins it.
 itsonlyaname24
Joined: 6/18/2008
Msg: 4
How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/22/2008 12:06:23 AM
I can't "define" it...but I can give an example.
I was dating someone just after my divorce, and I told him that when I was married, I never felt I was the smartest, or prettiest, or good enough ...no matter how hard I tried. That Christmas, he presented me with a small crystal heart dish with "est" engraved on the top. Inside was a tiny scroll of paper. On the paper was written "Prettiest Funniest Sexiest Smartest Nicest Loviest Bravest Kindest Person I know" And for a small space of time...I was his "est". He listened with his heart..and responed with the same.
 SKAJ
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 5
How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/22/2008 8:06:55 AM

I can't "define" it...but I can give an example.
I was dating someone just after my divorce, and I told him that when I was married, I never felt I was the smartest, or prettiest, or good enough ...no matter how hard I tried. That Christmas, he presented me with a small crystal heart dish with "est" engraved on the top. Inside was a tiny scroll of paper. On the paper was written "Prettiest Funniest Sexiest Smartest Nicest Loviest Bravest Kindest Person I know" And for a small space of time...I was his "est". He listened with his heart..and responed with the same.

Oh wow, itsonlyaname24, I usually don't 'get it' but that is pretty amazing.
 whatsallthis
Joined: 5/1/2008
Msg: 6
How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/22/2008 8:54:31 AM
There could be a number of definitions, but I think I would have to go with the little things you do for each other with out being asked, but most of all giving someone a soft place to fall when they have a rough day.
 Singleperson2008
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 7
How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/22/2008 9:13:40 AM
Romance

A stark in time when one’s heart see the wonder in that special person who will out shine the brightest star in the sky. Who's emotional bond washes over one’s soul with the sweet wetness of the mighty oceans. Who stands the test of time like the mountains of mother earth. It is neither place or time but only that moment in which when we hold our dearest and our special “someone” with dear life and love....
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 8
How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/22/2008 10:46:40 AM

I think that real romance is found in actions. For example, caring about what the person has to say, not just listening but being interested and stimulated by their thoughts and opinions. It's being loyal and being there for someone when they are down, or when they need help in some way. It can be something as simple as a smile at the right time, or a touch on the arm, a gesture that shows that you care.


While I think what you have described is absolutely crucial to a healthy relationship, I view these gestures as more of an “affording of consideration” to your mate; expressions of kindness, respect, thoughtfulness and caring; rather than behavior that is romantic in nature.

IMO, romance is another essential ingredient of a healthy and happy relationship. So many, once they have found one another, fall into a sense of complacency and dull routine; schedules, kids, work, errands, chores, et al, slowly overshadow the courting and dating that each so enjoyed when the relationship was new. Romance can come in many forms; it is merely a tool with which to tend the sexual fires of your relationship; romance is nurturing the ongoing love affair you have with one another.
 Paumanok
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 9
How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/22/2008 11:44:20 AM
I look it up in the dictionary and repeat exactly what I find there, saying it aloud using a fake French accent.
 Yourefirst
Joined: 2/25/2006
Msg: 10
How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/23/2008 2:02:59 AM
For me it's all about the experience of being romantic and being a good provider of romance not just a provider of money. I leave little sexy hidden notes or whenever I would introduce her to someone I would always put my hand in the small of her back. If she had a tough week I'd make an appointment at a spa and run her errands for the day. Even silly things like spelling "happy birthday" in the front yard with the lawnmower.
 Leagueofextraordinarymen
Joined: 3/24/2008
Msg: 11
How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/23/2008 5:42:37 AM
"Romance to me is an expression of love. I believe it also a feeling of excitement associated with love. Is it not one's deep emotional desires to connect with another person".
 _Icon_
Joined: 5/18/2008
Msg: 12
How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/23/2008 5:46:41 AM
When you can feel his eyes on you from across the crowded room and you are only vaguely aware that there are other people present.
 *Just Jim*
Joined: 7/6/2007
Msg: 13
How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/23/2008 8:13:30 AM

While I think what you have described is absolutely crucial to a healthy relationship, I view these gestures as more of an “affording of consideration” to your mate; expressions of kindness, respect, thoughtfulness and caring; rather than behavior that is romantic in nature.

It's nice how you taken that to a more personal level in the mix of things.




Romance can come in many forms; it is merely a tool with which to tend the sexual fires of your relationship; romance is nurturing the ongoing love affair you have with one another.


Complacency is the down fall of man.

And romance is spoon that stirs the love.
And takes all your senses and then some,
nurturing together, merrily along....
 EagleEric
Joined: 11/2/2006
Msg: 14
How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/23/2008 8:25:55 AM
It's skipping through a green lovely meadow on a warm sunny day with me carrying a big mince meat pie. She has the vanilla ice cream. We find a warm comfortable spot and gobble down all of the pie and ice cream. Then we have sex in the bushes!

The Eagle
 indehills
Joined: 2/23/2008
Msg: 15
How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/23/2008 8:33:32 AM
I think it means doing things (or buying things) for someone not because you have to, but because you want to show you care.
 L80nw8ng
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 16
view profile
History
How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/23/2008 9:12:35 AM
The most romantic moment I've ever experienced - my partner-to-be and I were newly dating... we decided to go to a popular tourist area and just walk the streets and talk... nothing fancy, nor expensive, just a nice atmosphere to talk. Well we talked for hours... then it unexpectedly started to rain. I got to watch this man fall in love with me right before my eyes. (most women don't ever get to see such a transformation). And I couldn't have been more vulnerable, looking like a wet rat. We hadn't had sex yet, but I would have at that very moment.

But we didn't plan a romantic event... we just planned time together.. and the romance happened on its own. Also, we had the same views about what was romantic.
 L80nw8ng
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 17
view profile
History
How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/23/2008 9:27:24 AM

Is it not one's deep emotional desires to connect with another person"...

it is merely a tool with which to tend the sexual fires of your relationship; romance is nurturing the ongoing love affair you have with one another...

it's skipping through a green lovely meadow on a warm sunny day with me carrying a big mince meat pie. She has the vanilla ice cream. We find a warm comfortable spot and gobble down all of the pie and ice cream. Then we have sex in the bushes!



I would like to open this up a little further...

Do any of you find a difference in how men, women, or people in general view romance "sexually"

I've had many discussions with guys who, when asked what they think is romantic, on the surface they will say the generic... flowers, cards, meal, etc. (their politically correct statement) But when you dig a little deeper, they reveal that what they REALLY think is romantic is sex. They equate romance WITH sex. Or things/activities that immediately precede sex, i.e. erotic massage, negligee, foreplay. I find these things very sexy, yes, but not very romantic.

But for me... romance is the moments, non-sexual moments, that make me want to partner up, bond, and have sex.

I would like to know what others have seen/ think about this.

It sort of goes along with my previous post about having the same views about what is romantic and what is not.
 Catinka2008
Joined: 5/21/2008
Msg: 18
How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/23/2008 1:34:50 PM
It's not a specific thing, it's more of a feeling, or maybe a form of communication that goes back and forth between two people. Something unspoken and delicate that can be shared no matter if you are canoing together, cooking together, sharing massages or silent looks or playing touch football - whatever. It's a delicate communication that goes both ways and can be oh so delicious. That - to me - is romance.
How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/23/2008 4:09:06 PM
It's true romance is not about gifts that are given no it's about doing
something special for that certain someone and showing them your
true feelings and how much you care. The power of romance is not
something given selfishly but something that is given of the heart.
So many have forgotton what true romance is all about , It's not
just SEX !!!! It's more than that it's a very special inner feeling you
get with that someone that has all your attentions and your heart.

It's so romantic just to sit outside
and gaze up at the stars and having your mate point that out to you. Little
things means a lot but giving of you time and heart is to me what romance
is all about communicating and sharing quailty time with someone that makes
you smile or you have that certain chemistry with and really want to create some
sparks.

Romance can be anything be it dinner for two or stroll in the park on a long
summers night or just a kiss at the door and tender good night. Having that nice
romantic evening where you stay in for the night and well we all know what the birds and the bees is all about .

Everything called love , that to me is romance and something that is shared by two whos hearts connect as one!
Romance is not something to be taken advantage of
but is something that is given by two and such a special time.

Great Topic thank you for posting it!

Happy Summer Everyone this is a romantic time of year enjoying that cool
summer evening with the one you love and the look in there eyes and fireworks
in your heart that is bursting.

Yours,Brenny
Here's to good old fashioned Romance may it never end let's hope others
feel the same way we do and that they know what real passion and romance is!
 nebula22
Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 20
How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/24/2008 7:47:41 AM
Romance is what you feel when you are with the one you love and they are returning that love to you with all the passion they feel towards you.
It is coming home all dirty from a hard day at work and having your lover take your clothes off , jump in the shower with you and scrub your back for you.
It is looking into your lovers eyes and seeing love and desire being directed at you like a solar flare.
It is having an orgasim at the same time.
 Gracep
Joined: 4/16/2008
Msg: 21
How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:49:59 AM
"Romance is the fuel that keeps love burning hot." Rusty Silvey
 msflis
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 22
How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/24/2008 10:10:09 AM
Isn't romance a little like art, in that each person defines it for himself or herself--but they know what they like?

But JustJim's comment that "romance is spoon that stirs the love" is quite lovely!

--Ms. Flis
 _Icon_
Joined: 5/18/2008
Msg: 23
How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/24/2008 10:17:45 AM
It's in the way he stands tall and places his hand so gently on the small of my back when we are in a crowd. He wants to protect me.

It's in the way he says good night and leaves when we both want more. Again, he wants to protect me.
 FloridaMusicMan
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 24
How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/24/2008 10:37:22 AM
Mary Ann I like how you think,some of your thoughts border friendship.I once read Friends make the best lovers.I believe that with my soul.I also recently read on a POF's profile Friends on Fire is a definition of Love.Romance in early times consisted of mostly actions as you mentioned and gifts to enhance those actions.I would say in todays era,romance is communicating to that special someone how much you care about them.How important they are to you and how important their opinion's and feelings matter to you.Simple gestures like comments about their events or desires,but I think also little tokens or gifts.A simple card you made yourself.Candles around a already drawn bath when they get home.Notes left for them to find during a days events.Romance for me is always doing something to surprise my partner and create closeness between us.
 *Just Jim*
Joined: 7/6/2007
Msg: 25
How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/25/2008 8:20:45 AM

But for me... romance is the moments, non-sexual moments, that make me want to partner up, bond, and have sex.

I would like to know what others have seen/ think about this.


What a lovely thing to say or ask as most have a fear in the true love and romance in a relationship. I should have known you were a Scorp! ~smile~

One of my greatest loves was for the most part non sexual, it was hand in glove ,we were

different yet loved on the same level. What makes imo a loving pair is similiars goals,but not

all, open to new and fresh ideas, in the things that are good in each other, and a lot which I might add were non material. omg.....~smile~

And our respect was paramount for each other. That's love and romance to me baby !:glow
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > How do you define romance?