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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > How do you define romance?      Home login  
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 MaryAnn Singleton
Joined: 6/6/2008
Msg: 1
How do you define romance?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
There have been a few threads concerning romance and online dating and it made me wonder - how do we define romance? I thought it would be interesting to put the question out there and see what most people think romance is.

I'll start off with my definition... In my opinion, it's NOT presents and cards and flowers - basically it's not anything you can buy someone unless you buy someone the absolutely perfect gift - something that you know is meaningful to them.

I think that real romance is found in actions. For example, caring about what the person has to say, not just listening but being interested and stimulated by their thoughts and opinions. It's being loyal and being there for someone when they are down, or when they need help in some way. It can be something as simple as a smile at the right time, or a touch on the arm, a gesture that shows that you care.

So I'm curious. What do the rest of you POF'ers think?
 AustinTyler
Joined: 4/15/2008
Msg: 2
How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/21/2008 6:25:10 PM
I define it, in the movies.
 FunChick123
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 3
How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/21/2008 6:59:31 PM
I agree OP. My most romantic times did not include flowers or cards... it's more of a feeling, a moment.

... going for a walk, talking about nothing and staring up at the stars
... a case of beer, staring out a lake and cudding with my guy

That's what I consider romantic.

I've actually found that when you try too hard to force the moment, it feels fake and just ruins it.
 itsonlyaname24
Joined: 6/18/2008
Msg: 4
How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/22/2008 12:06:23 AM
I can't "define" it...but I can give an example.
I was dating someone just after my divorce, and I told him that when I was married, I never felt I was the smartest, or prettiest, or good enough ...no matter how hard I tried. That Christmas, he presented me with a small crystal heart dish with "est" engraved on the top. Inside was a tiny scroll of paper. On the paper was written "Prettiest Funniest Sexiest Smartest Nicest Loviest Bravest Kindest Person I know" And for a small space of time...I was his "est". He listened with his heart..and responed with the same.
 SKAJ
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 5
How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/22/2008 8:06:55 AM

I can't "define" it...but I can give an example.
I was dating someone just after my divorce, and I told him that when I was married, I never felt I was the smartest, or prettiest, or good enough ...no matter how hard I tried. That Christmas, he presented me with a small crystal heart dish with "est" engraved on the top. Inside was a tiny scroll of paper. On the paper was written "Prettiest Funniest Sexiest Smartest Nicest Loviest Bravest Kindest Person I know" And for a small space of time...I was his "est". He listened with his heart..and responed with the same.

Oh wow, itsonlyaname24, I usually don't 'get it' but that is pretty amazing.
 whatsallthis
Joined: 5/1/2008
Msg: 6
How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/22/2008 8:54:31 AM
There could be a number of definitions, but I think I would have to go with the little things you do for each other with out being asked, but most of all giving someone a soft place to fall when they have a rough day.
 Spoken For
Joined: 12/26/2007
Msg: 7
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How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/22/2008 8:54:35 AM
My idea of romance is probably not what a lot of the "fairy tale minded" think it is. I'll give an example...the last real relationship I was in, my guy told me he knew what he was going to get me for Xmas, because it was something he knew I really wanted. Well, he got it, and then was second guessing himself to me, saying he was worried that it wasn't romantic enough. He said "I don't know whether to get you something I know you really want or to get you something "romantic."

I laughed and told him that the most romantic thing he could do was to be struggling with himself over a gift for me. I told him to just get me what he knew I wanted, because the fact that he was even spending that much time thinking about a present for me was all the romance I needed!

And what a great gift it was, he had Sirius satellite radio installed in my car and gave me a years subscription. He just thought it wasn't "romantic," but every time I listened to it I thought about him.
 Drkeyedbeauty
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 8
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How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/22/2008 8:55:33 AM
Wow it'sonlyaname! He would definately be getting lucky for putting so much thought into that one! I'm so glad you experienced that. I also believe romance doesn't have to cost a thing. I love that sexy little wink we exchange when we're out, at night when we're in bed and we have just a small part of us touching so we can sleep, when he needs something and he yells out, WOMAN, I need you. I had a special guy who knew money was tight sometimes and he'd go to the grocery store, call and ask me what I needed. I of course said nothing but he'd come with toilet paper, light bulbs and one time a hot chocolate from Star Bucks because I'd mention in passing that i'd never tried one. Men are awesome and delicious and when it's right, the romance comes in the form of so many little surprises.
 Singleperson2008
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 9
How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/22/2008 9:13:40 AM
Romance

A stark in time when one’s heart see the wonder in that special person who will out shine the brightest star in the sky. Who's emotional bond washes over one’s soul with the sweet wetness of the mighty oceans. Who stands the test of time like the mountains of mother earth. It is neither place or time but only that moment in which when we hold our dearest and our special “someone” with dear life and love....
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 10
How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/22/2008 10:46:40 AM

I think that real romance is found in actions. For example, caring about what the person has to say, not just listening but being interested and stimulated by their thoughts and opinions. It's being loyal and being there for someone when they are down, or when they need help in some way. It can be something as simple as a smile at the right time, or a touch on the arm, a gesture that shows that you care.


While I think what you have described is absolutely crucial to a healthy relationship, I view these gestures as more of an “affording of consideration” to your mate; expressions of kindness, respect, thoughtfulness and caring; rather than behavior that is romantic in nature.

IMO, romance is another essential ingredient of a healthy and happy relationship. So many, once they have found one another, fall into a sense of complacency and dull routine; schedules, kids, work, errands, chores, et al, slowly overshadow the courting and dating that each so enjoyed when the relationship was new. Romance can come in many forms; it is merely a tool with which to tend the sexual fires of your relationship; romance is nurturing the ongoing love affair you have with one another.
 Paumanok
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 11
How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/22/2008 11:44:20 AM
I look it up in the dictionary and repeat exactly what I find there, saying it aloud using a fake French accent.
 Yourefirst
Joined: 2/25/2006
Msg: 12
How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/23/2008 2:02:59 AM
For me it's all about the experience of being romantic and being a good provider of romance not just a provider of money. I leave little sexy hidden notes or whenever I would introduce her to someone I would always put my hand in the small of her back. If she had a tough week I'd make an appointment at a spa and run her errands for the day. Even silly things like spelling "happy birthday" in the front yard with the lawnmower.
How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/23/2008 2:43:59 AM
I agree romance is in the small things.

An ex of mine and I were once in the garden at night watering the garden and chattering away in the moonlight, and he picked a flower and put it in my hair and told me how beautiful he thought I was, that made me swoon, that's romantic and it cost nothing! On one of our anniversaries he picked a bunch of roses from his garden, picking each one especially because I'd said how much I loved them, that meant more to me than a store bought bouquet.

Another ex; this particular day I'd had a migraine and he'd tucked me into bed with a heat pack and darkened the room and let me sleep. When it was dinner time, he gently woke me and made me close my eyes and led me outside to where he had set up a table for us to eat outside with candles and fairy lights on, and he served me dinner he had made for us. That was very romantic.

I love doing romantic things for my man as well .... the art of romance isn't dead, it just takes a little effort and imagination, and the DESIRE to want to do romantic things for your partner.
 Leagueofextraordinarymen
Joined: 3/24/2008
Msg: 14
How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/23/2008 5:42:37 AM
"Romance to me is an expression of love. I believe it also a feeling of excitement associated with love. Is it not one's deep emotional desires to connect with another person".
 _Icon_
Joined: 5/18/2008
Msg: 15
How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/23/2008 5:46:41 AM
When you can feel his eyes on you from across the crowded room and you are only vaguely aware that there are other people present.
 MotherOfEight
Joined: 2/16/2007
Msg: 16
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History
How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/23/2008 8:10:51 AM
Lame, lame, lame.
 *Just Jim*
Joined: 7/6/2007
Msg: 17
How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/23/2008 8:13:30 AM

While I think what you have described is absolutely crucial to a healthy relationship, I view these gestures as more of an “affording of consideration” to your mate; expressions of kindness, respect, thoughtfulness and caring; rather than behavior that is romantic in nature.

It's nice how you taken that to a more personal level in the mix of things.




Romance can come in many forms; it is merely a tool with which to tend the sexual fires of your relationship; romance is nurturing the ongoing love affair you have with one another.


Complacency is the down fall of man.

And romance is spoon that stirs the love.
And takes all your senses and then some,
nurturing together, merrily along....
 EagleEric
Joined: 11/2/2006
Msg: 18
How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/23/2008 8:25:55 AM
It's skipping through a green lovely meadow on a warm sunny day with me carrying a big mince meat pie. She has the vanilla ice cream. We find a warm comfortable spot and gobble down all of the pie and ice cream. Then we have sex in the bushes!

The Eagle
 indehills
Joined: 2/23/2008
Msg: 19
How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/23/2008 8:33:32 AM
I think it means doing things (or buying things) for someone not because you have to, but because you want to show you care.
 L80nw8ng
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 20
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History
How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/23/2008 9:12:35 AM
The most romantic moment I've ever experienced - my partner-to-be and I were newly dating... we decided to go to a popular tourist area and just walk the streets and talk... nothing fancy, nor expensive, just a nice atmosphere to talk. Well we talked for hours... then it unexpectedly started to rain. I got to watch this man fall in love with me right before my eyes. (most women don't ever get to see such a transformation). And I couldn't have been more vulnerable, looking like a wet rat. We hadn't had sex yet, but I would have at that very moment.

But we didn't plan a romantic event... we just planned time together.. and the romance happened on its own. Also, we had the same views about what was romantic.
 L80nw8ng
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 21
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How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/23/2008 9:27:24 AM

Is it not one's deep emotional desires to connect with another person"...

it is merely a tool with which to tend the sexual fires of your relationship; romance is nurturing the ongoing love affair you have with one another...

it's skipping through a green lovely meadow on a warm sunny day with me carrying a big mince meat pie. She has the vanilla ice cream. We find a warm comfortable spot and gobble down all of the pie and ice cream. Then we have sex in the bushes!



I would like to open this up a little further...

Do any of you find a difference in how men, women, or people in general view romance "sexually"

I've had many discussions with guys who, when asked what they think is romantic, on the surface they will say the generic... flowers, cards, meal, etc. (their politically correct statement) But when you dig a little deeper, they reveal that what they REALLY think is romantic is sex. They equate romance WITH sex. Or things/activities that immediately precede sex, i.e. erotic massage, negligee, foreplay. I find these things very sexy, yes, but not very romantic.

But for me... romance is the moments, non-sexual moments, that make me want to partner up, bond, and have sex.

I would like to know what others have seen/ think about this.

It sort of goes along with my previous post about having the same views about what is romantic and what is not.
 Catinka2008
Joined: 5/21/2008
Msg: 22
How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/23/2008 1:34:50 PM
It's not a specific thing, it's more of a feeling, or maybe a form of communication that goes back and forth between two people. Something unspoken and delicate that can be shared no matter if you are canoing together, cooking together, sharing massages or silent looks or playing touch football - whatever. It's a delicate communication that goes both ways and can be oh so delicious. That - to me - is romance.
How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/23/2008 4:09:06 PM
It's true romance is not about gifts that are given no it's about doing
something special for that certain someone and showing them your
true feelings and how much you care. The power of romance is not
something given selfishly but something that is given of the heart.
So many have forgotton what true romance is all about , It's not
just SEX !!!! It's more than that it's a very special inner feeling you
get with that someone that has all your attentions and your heart.

It's so romantic just to sit outside
and gaze up at the stars and having your mate point that out to you. Little
things means a lot but giving of you time and heart is to me what romance
is all about communicating and sharing quailty time with someone that makes
you smile or you have that certain chemistry with and really want to create some
sparks.

Romance can be anything be it dinner for two or stroll in the park on a long
summers night or just a kiss at the door and tender good night. Having that nice
romantic evening where you stay in for the night and well we all know what the birds and the bees is all about .

Everything called love , that to me is romance and something that is shared by two whos hearts connect as one!
Romance is not something to be taken advantage of
but is something that is given by two and such a special time.

Great Topic thank you for posting it!

Happy Summer Everyone this is a romantic time of year enjoying that cool
summer evening with the one you love and the look in there eyes and fireworks
in your heart that is bursting.

Yours,Brenny
Here's to good old fashioned Romance may it never end let's hope others
feel the same way we do and that they know what real passion and romance is!
 nebula22
Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 24
How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/24/2008 7:47:41 AM
Romance is what you feel when you are with the one you love and they are returning that love to you with all the passion they feel towards you.
It is coming home all dirty from a hard day at work and having your lover take your clothes off , jump in the shower with you and scrub your back for you.
It is looking into your lovers eyes and seeing love and desire being directed at you like a solar flare.
It is having an orgasim at the same time.
 Gracep
Joined: 4/16/2008
Msg: 25
How do you define romance?
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:49:59 AM
"Romance is the fuel that keeps love burning hot." Rusty Silvey
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