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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > I'm so confused! please someone explain this to me!      Home login  
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 empress1978f
Joined: 6/2/2006
Msg: 1
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I'm so confused! please someone explain this to me!Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Okay, so I'm talking to this guy on here for a few days now, and he seems super cool.

We've talked on the phone, on yahoo, exchanged pictures, done text messages the whole nine yards

So we agree to meet up tonight, he was going to come over to my place to chill out, sounds great....

So he texts me all day about how he is just going to run home to get a change of clothing and is going to call me to get directions. He confirmed that he was still going to come over and hang out. His last text message to me was around 11:00 pm saying that he was going to call me for directions soon. Then nothing.....

Finally around 11:30-12:00am I started to text/call him because I was trying to pick up stuff from the grocery store that he would like. No response. Waited until about 1am, called him again, left him a message just asking him to call me and tell me he was okay. I called him a few more times and now his phone is off and it rings straight to voice mail.

I'm just so confused, he seemed like such a cool guy and HE was the one that wanted to hang out, HE was the one that confirmed over and over that we were going to hang out tonight. I mean right up until 11:00pm he was communicating with me fine, and now nothing, I'm just completely flummoxed!

I don't have tons of dating experience, so is this something that guys normally do? Is this some sort of game? Whats the deal, should I try to figure out what happened or just leave him alone

Thanks for the help
r.
 empress1978f
Joined: 6/2/2006
Msg: 2
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I'm so confused! please someone explain this to me!
Posted: 6/22/2008 2:10:15 AM
Yeah, thats true, I just don't understand why he would keep confirming that he wanted to hang out all day if he didn't, 'ya know?

I mean I gave him numerous opportunities to get out of hanging out with me and he never took them.

I wish he would have kept it real, I could have tried to make other plans!

Thanks for the help though I appreciate it!
r.
 empress1978f
Joined: 6/2/2006
Msg: 3
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I'm so confused! please someone explain this to me!
Posted: 6/22/2008 2:17:43 AM
Thanks for the thing about me being pretty, thats always nice to hear after you may have been stood up!

Yeah, I was sort of thinking the same thing, just because I gave him so many opportunities to get "out" of having to hang out tonight. I just texted him and called him again and told him to let me know if he is at least okay.

What a lame saturday night huh....

r.
 empress1978f
Joined: 6/2/2006
Msg: 4
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I'm so confused! please someone explain this to me!
Posted: 6/22/2008 2:20:34 AM
Yeah, I hear you there, it was out of the ordinary for me to have someone over to my place for a first meeting, but he just seemed so cool, as for the time, he had things to do in the day and his day just ended late. I'm starting to think all guys from this site have a screw loose, so it may be a while before I agree to meet anyone again if he seriously just stood me up

thanks for the advice though!
R.
 empress1978f
Joined: 6/2/2006
Msg: 5
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I'm so confused! please someone explain this to me!
Posted: 6/22/2008 2:21:40 AM
Yeah, I guess all I need to do is figure out if there was an emergency or if something happened, if not well then its time to move it along

r.
 empress1978f
Joined: 6/2/2006
Msg: 6
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I'm so confused! please someone explain this to me!
Posted: 6/22/2008 2:28:39 AM
Strawbs,

I was calling him at 1am, because I was worried about him. If you read my last text msg from him was like at 11:00pm, given that situation, I didn't figure that 1:00am was too late, especially on a saturday night.

Furthermore, while I appreciate your advice and concern I think your tone is a little rude.

I normally don't have anyone over to my house ever at all, however in this case I decided to make an exception because he seemed like a cool enough person and I felt comfortable.

You sound a little bitter and "over" experienced to me.

But again, thanks for the advice

r.
 ForumFilly
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 7
I'm so confused! please someone explain this to me!
Posted: 6/22/2008 2:44:54 AM
I think he either got cold feet or he was playing you, and I hope I'm wrong on both counts. Do NOT invite someone you have never met over to your house. Meet him during the day or early evening in a public place. If this guy was playing you and had no intention of showing up, that's cruel. But just suppose he DID show up and was a psycho and raped or killed you? That would be horrific. Talking with someone online and via phone really doesn't mean you know that person. Please be more careful in the future.
 Chance
Joined: 6/10/2004
Msg: 8
I'm so confused! please someone explain this to me!
Posted: 6/22/2008 3:15:37 AM
Dear Empress,
I don't think that you are confused at all, unless it is about whether to be hurt or insulted. This guy is nothing more than a penis with a blackberry. He obviously has the attention span of a five year old and got side tracked by some girl who gave him the 411 that she was available with no strings attached. I grew up in Las Vegas and he sounds like a lot of my friends, who could be having sex with you and making a date with another girl on the phone at the same time. These guys are nothing more than sexual preditors. Or, as I call them, Crack Whores. They can't wait to smoke some crack with their pipe. They only difference is that the crack their chasing might have a little hair on it. If men and women think about each other as just genitilia, how can you expect them to treat you any better than toilet paper (useful for a moment and disposable). Most immature males do things like this beause it empowers them. It's just not possible to be thoughtful or kind to someone when you only think of them as a body part. Move on and find yourself someone nice. When I say nice, I don't mean someone who will always put up with your crap, I mean someone that will put their foot down we your running off the tracks. Women never respect men they can walk all over. Find someone that genuinely likes you. If someone likes you they would never think of standing you up. Also, you need to put limits on people or you won't get any respect either.
Just a little friendly advice from a guy who has been single for a long time.
Ciao,
Chance
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 9
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I'm so confused! please someone explain this to me!
Posted: 6/22/2008 4:34:26 AM
^^^^^That was worth getting up for. Penis with a blackberry.

Other posters are correct because there are people that never intend to meet because they are shy or this is just a game, or they could become scared, but seriously, unless he was in the emergency room, kidnapped by terrorists, or otherwise incapable of calling or texting at least to let you know that hell was going on, why do you give a shit?

Yes it is disappointing when there appears to be a connection and he proves to be a jerk but you are better off knowing this now than finding out after months invested in a relationship.
 Lario
Joined: 5/2/2005
Msg: 10
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I'm so confused! please someone explain this to me!
Posted: 6/22/2008 6:10:52 AM

So we agree to meet up tonight, he was going to come over to my place to chill out, sounds great....


Never let a first meeting be at your place.... NEVER.... despite all the phone, yahoo chat, texting etc, you don't REALLY know anything about him.

Pick a public place for lunch or coffee..
 empress1978f
Joined: 6/2/2006
Msg: 11
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I'm so confused! please someone explain this to me!
Posted: 6/22/2008 9:08:15 AM
BlueEyedMinnow,

Those aren't my children, those are my cousins.....who live in another state. He doesn't have my home address because I never gave it to him. But I understand your point.
 opnmydm
Joined: 3/23/2008
Msg: 12
I'm so confused! please someone explain this to me!
Posted: 6/22/2008 4:53:33 PM
you would invite someone to your house that you have never met before? you know there are movies made about that..too scary in this day and age..
 empress1978f
Joined: 6/2/2006
Msg: 13
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I'm so confused! please someone explain this to me!
Posted: 6/22/2008 6:58:29 PM
cuddly,

He was supposed to call for the address and we never spoke, he had my cell phone number not my home phone number and my cell phone number is owned by the company I work for, so I don't think he can look my address up.

thanks for the advice though
r.
 empress1978f
Joined: 6/2/2006
Msg: 14
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I'm so confused! please someone explain this to me!
Posted: 6/22/2008 7:04:40 PM
Sass,

We didn't originally set up for the date to happen at 11:30 at night, he had some stuff to do during the day and was stuck in traffic on the way home (this part I sort of believe as we live in So Cal and the traffic from one area to the other can be killer). I was more thinking we would be hanging out around 7-8 and then we would leave from my house to do something else.

I can appreciate the advice not to invite him over to my place, you are right, that would probably give most people the wrong idea. I've never had anyone over to my house on a first date before ever, I guess it just didn't seem as bad an idea as it actually was at the time.

Thanks!
R.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 15
I'm so confused! please someone explain this to me!
Posted: 6/22/2008 7:07:10 PM
Maybe he's dead.

No, really!

I once talked for several months to a man in another state on a well known messenger medium and one day, he just disappeared! It turns out he had a heart attack and died. I received a call from a detective in charge of the case (since he died at home). I was the last person to whom he spoke to both online and on the phone.

I found his obit online and the first line read, "Beloved husband of Cheryl." It cut my mourning period very short.

Who can guess about these types of things?
 BPD0805
Joined: 4/30/2008
Msg: 16
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I'm so confused! please someone explain this to me!
Posted: 6/22/2008 7:49:41 PM
Dear Confused, If I am a guy and I am invited on a first date to someones house to chill out...I will get cold feet. Why? because is the first date....no matter how many times you guys text or email each other.....first dates really should be in the open ....that way you don't feel that intimidated..you have plenty of witnesses.....
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