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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 HarleyKat~
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 3
Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just MetPage 1 of 21    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21)
There are so many different realms of photos being misleading, so, like you...I try to be positive.

Some people just do not photograph well...so more often than the opposite...I find people look better in person!

I have had the ones who have old pics...and as someone who has been on the site for 5 years, I can tell you there are plenty of guys who have the same photos up now, as they did five years ago. These are the red flag sort to me...and I don't second glance at their profiles now. You can keep the old ones...but at least balance it out and add new ones, as well! (That's what I do...keep an older one...which shows I age well!) ;)

Webcams are so cheap now...there is really no excuse for not having a current pic! It does not have to be a glamour shot...heck...I prefer something natural!

I am not sure that people are trying to be intentionally dishonest, however. I think it is not much different than the ones who are revealing waaay too much...they are not trying to be deceptive or misleading...they are trying to lure you in, in hopes of sealing the deal in person...with their personalities and what they have to offer?
 SpiceyCougar
Joined: 4/29/2008
Msg: 8
Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:09:38 AM

Has anyone else had this kind of experience? What did you do?


This has happened to me many many times actually. Someone else's pic, old pic... etc. I am the type who usually will call someone out pretty quick. "That must have been a pretty old pic" or "You don't look like your pic".

Sometimes I will just walk away. Why start off a relationship tolorating a lie or the with holding of something like this?
 HarleyKat~
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 9
Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:09:58 AM
Southern Manners....are you proposing we include a photo make-up free?!

Mustbpatient...good points, and while I am not a webcam fan...I too, want to clearly present who I am, what I look like...so as to not add more risk of rejection...cause while we can certainly deal with such, it sure is not fun! ;)

This is another reason why blatantly overt compliments that just ooze all over the place are intimidating! If you are being told how beautiful, how sexy, how wonderfully perfect you are...it builds up the expectation level, and freaks you out on possibly disappointing!
 Internetdatingpariah
Joined: 10/17/2004
Msg: 10
Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:12:11 AM
Hmmm...But in MY case that's a GOOD thing!
 StarliteKisses
Joined: 11/25/2007
Msg: 17
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Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:26:09 AM
This happens on all the dating sites. I won't begin a relationship predicated on a lie. I personally update my pictures at least once a year.....usually more often.

Some men I have met, who didn't look like their pictures, seemed absolutely oblivious to the fact that they didn't look like that any longer!! I don't need a man that out of touch or in such denial! Or such a liar........

~Sexy Vixen 4u~
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 18
Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:26:34 AM
One time some woman that I worked with was complaining about meeting a man who used a fake pic. But she claimed that she had an average body type when she was clearly overweight. She used old and deceptive pictures to hide her excess body fat. Talking about the pot calling the kettle black.
 splashes
Joined: 6/18/2008
Msg: 23
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Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:40:42 AM
Its a pretty frustrating experience, especially when you've asked whether or not the photo was recent. In my experience, I walked into the restaurant trying to go around an older man who was getting in my way ... I was looking for my date and was looking AROUND this balding, heavier set, pasty and wrinkling man. It turns out he was my date who, by the way, looked nothing like his picture! Well, I supposed if I walked a block back and squinted a bit, there would be some similarity. I told him that I didn't even recognize him and he said, "well, I'm pretty tired today so I don't quite look like my picture". I couldn't help to think whether this man thought that his "sparking" personality would overcome his lie, which I was open to, but that wasn't even existent. My guess would be that he thought that if he got a meeting with you in person, he could have a chance to convince you of his wonderfulness. In my book, you're already down a notch when you lie but then again, I would have never met him if he didn't. When he asked me about my dating experience so far, I did bring up the conversation that I did not respect a person who downright lied about their photos or profile (I was nice about it and didn't accuse him specifically about it so I was being general) and he wholeheartedly agreed. I guess in that position he didn't have any choice but to agree.

In the end, it was a waste of time for the both of us. Its like all advertising. The commercial gets you into the door but if the product doesn't reflect the advertising, I'm not buying.
 SimplyMeeee
Joined: 5/27/2007
Msg: 25
Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:45:19 AM
"if the photo was a lie, what else did he lie about?"
It is a pet peeve of mine as well. I always keep the photo current.
We all are visual people who are first attracted to someones look, then to what they say in their profile, then in emails & phone conversations. Why does someone put up a false image of themselves? There is someone out there for everyone, and every look. To be a phony and not show a current photo is to lie and waste not only the other person's time, but your own. I have been often disappointed when seeing that the person I have communicated with has used a photo that is a number of years old or 40 less pounds ago.
People,,be honest about yourself when putting up photos. THAT will lead to someone interested in what they first see, and then more interest coming when they learn the inner person. You are never going to change what someone physically desires in another, so not showing your true self will not lead to "oh, they are not what they showed me, but my goodness they are so great"!
 shakeslady
Joined: 6/20/2008
Msg: 26
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Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:46:42 AM
I have to admit that I'm guilty of posting an old photo, as well as a recent one. I clearly state in the captions which is which. I've been asked why I post the old photo at all. In my case, it's because I believe the shot most clearly captures my personality. Yes, it's great to know what someone looks like, but I also enjoy seeing a photo that tells me something about who the person is inside.

And honestly, most of the men I meet tell me the photos don't do me justice anway. (Which, of course, every woman wants to hear.) Ironically, the only ones who've complained are the ones who either didn't post a photo at all, or had posted some old photos themselves (without disclosing that they were old). I don't really have an issue with someone using an older photo as long as they're honest about it and what may have changed in their appearance since the shot was taken. It's hard to put yourself out there and we all want to make the best first impression possible. Plus, online dating is time consuming enough without having to take and post new photos every few months.
 HarleyKat~
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 28
Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:52:44 AM
I find your post, most interesting Shakes...because you not only post an older photo, but you choose to use the oldest in as your main pic!

To me...that is kinda like what I mentioned earlier...luring with the older photo...but covering the "fib" by also posting a newer one! ;)

I see NOTHING wrong with including an older pic in the secondary or private photos...it shows how well a person ages, how they change, etc. I change my hair like most do their underwear...so I am constantly updating photos!
 classic-man
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 29
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Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:55:48 AM
Yes it happens on both side of the street! Women do it to men and men do it to women ! By the way my picture is me in reflection!

I recently drove a distance to meet a lady -picture inviting- with joy!

The day before i got there she informed me of a change she had done on her hairstyle not the same color - or facial features and weight on profile - boom a downer!

I went and enjoyed her company wasn't disappointed because she told me the last minute- had she not told me I would have been disappointed!Had she not told me I would have raised ----? when we meet up!

She and I talked about the change and I understood to a point?

Learned rule dig a little deeper as to the persons - profile and pictures!

Don't always judge a book by its cover! Nor a person by its picture--- beauty is only skin deep!JMHO

the world ain't perfect!
 shakeslady
Joined: 6/20/2008
Msg: 30
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Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 10:01:28 AM
Thanks for the heads up, harleykat. I'm brand new to this site. When I uploaded my photos it looks like they automatically chose my older photo as the primary. Didn't realize that was the case. Just went in and changed it.
 HarleyKat~
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 31
Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 10:16:31 AM
No problem, Shakes! :)

Michaelann...I agree...it's a good thing! (Well, usually!) LOL I think I have aged well...LOL...so it is in my case! LOL

I understand not having a photo readily available the second you sign on to this site or another. But with webcams being super cheap, most cell phones having a camera, or heck...just go buy a disposable and have them developed to a disk...there is just no excuse for not having or making, a recent photo.

I hear all of the exuses! LOL

Like you...I am more often the photographer than the subject...and what's worse, I am NOT photogenic, at all! Blah! LOL So when a camera IS in my face, I tend to develop severe allergies! LOL
 beautifuldancer400
Joined: 6/12/2007
Msg: 32
Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 10:28:04 AM
I keep my pictures recent and as real as possible in the hopes that I will be a pleasant surprise for whoever I choose to meet.

I hope for the same although I don't always expect it. For the most part, if someone's picture is recent and clear I have always been able to tell who that person is when I saw them.

As far as the webcams go....I'm not sure I want to go THAT far. It's one thing to have to get dressed, fix my hair etc. for a date or even for my pictures but most of the time when I'm online I'm in my PJ's or sweats, hair is up or I just woke up etc.

That would take the whole convienience out of this! I might as well go out to a bar or club!

 SpiceyCougar
Joined: 4/29/2008
Msg: 39
Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 12:02:22 PM

but its even worse when a girl you meet looks totally different once they take the make up off lol.



Sure why not some guys love no make up ;).


You saying we should show up with our natural hair color and no push-up bra also?

You guys may be forgiving about make up and MAYBE hair color.... but I doubt you'd enjoy meeting us if we went natural in other areas...
 in2mischief
Joined: 6/6/2008
Msg: 40
Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 12:41:31 PM
sometimes you can see the person aging in their profile photos...they lead off with a great shot, full head of hair and progress to looking where they are today...why do they do this plez! I really don't care about the stud you use to be. And yes I have guys who were suppose to be 5'8 and they show up shorter than me I'm 5'6, the height does not bother me but the dishonesty does. Another man that said he was in his 50's but he shuffled as he walked across the room and he had a very poor rug upon his head. I think that men in my age range need to take a good look at themselves and invest in a make over...we women are taking better care of ourselves. Loose the outdated facial hair, trim the long mustache, work out...don't show pictures of your belly! Do smile!Do post pictures within the last 6 months! I see so many guys here that if they just took it up a notch would most likely get lucky here!I don't mean to appear shallow but if you expect us to want to jump your bones you gotta learn to work it better.
 acitalriwt sixela
Joined: 5/5/2008
Msg: 47
Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 3:18:21 PM
I have 8 pics and 8 different looks, I think. lol

Some are good, some are bad, but that is me. :)
 SandyB1957
Joined: 7/22/2007
Msg: 49
Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 3:34:46 PM
HI cant say it has really happen to me but I myself have 7 pics of myself here and I had met a man once and he told me that I look differant in all 7 pics. So I guess we all change in looks from one pic to the next and tehn to even when we meet in person...
 missjohndeere40
Joined: 6/7/2008
Msg: 58
Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/24/2008 4:36:46 PM
Why would somebody do stupid s*** like posting old photos or one's that aren't even themselves when eventually they are going to be found it. My pictures are me..nothing special and I take a terrible pictures. I figure if somebody likes my pictures on here then they aren't very picky....LOL And that is a good thing
 bigshrek
Joined: 11/15/2007
Msg: 69
Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/25/2008 3:20:11 PM
Well, the gal I'm with now originally had up a pic from 15 years ago...when she was scrawny as a fencepost...a fisherman woulda thrown her back!!

But I liked her sense of humor and figured, what the heck, meet her and see if she's as funny in real life, I can always enjoy another friend...and then I met her...and I thought, wow, that doesn't look like her pic at ALL, and initially it put me off. Plus she kinda looked like someone I had previously not enjoyed working with and that wasn't a good memory either...But as we were talking something she said just CLICKED...That put her in a whole different category...the right word & attitude at the right time can mean more than anything.

5 months later, we're still together...who sez ya can't find love on POF?
 HarleyKat~
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 71
Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/25/2008 4:11:38 PM
Yarimelma...all I can say is, if you look 1000x better in person...
"WhoahnellieexcusemewhileIwipethisdrool!"

Funny how we see ourselves...verus others. I woulda' thought you were very photogenic!
 acitalriwt sixela
Joined: 5/5/2008
Msg: 75
Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/25/2008 9:30:05 PM

I have a little advice for all of POF and the picture injustices running amuck. This is quite clever actually. When you decide to meet someone, most of the time phone numbers are exchanged. Most cell phones come with cameras. Have the dude or dude-ette snap a quick silly pic of themselves and send it your way. Then make the date. No precious time wasted on the fibbers


This is good advice. I always ask to see webcam before I meet. If he doesn't have one, he can take 10$ from our first date budget and buy a one at walmart. :p
 acitalriwt sixela
Joined: 5/5/2008
Msg: 78
Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/26/2008 9:14:26 AM


Also, since reading so many profiles that won't even accept contact with you--without a Pic in tow, I took mine down---- as I think it is kinda shallow to refuse to talk to someone without a pic. Ya want one ---ask!


Not shallow. :) I can take a chance and post my pic, the person wants to talk to me can do the same.
 Boricua Papi
Joined: 10/8/2007
Msg: 79
Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/26/2008 10:47:53 AM
These are the things that are deceiving in female profiles:

Face pictures only=fat
Great cleavage pictures, but no complete body pictures= overweight
Not smiling in any picture= very bad teeth or missing teeth

Men profiles:

Never have full body picture: short, chubby
Muscles, chest pictures: might be small or less than average sized in critical areas
Non smiling pictures: might be hidding something
 acitalriwt sixela
Joined: 5/5/2008
Msg: 82
Profile Photo Does NOT Look Like the Person You've Just Met
Posted: 6/26/2008 11:23:39 AM
I have a professional photo, people think it is my worst. I don't know. lol
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