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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Cave man days, bring'em back      Home login  
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 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 4
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Cave man days, bring'em backPage 1 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
A little old fashion is nice...but if anyone thinks they're going to knock me out... Look Out...
 clasact
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 11
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Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 6/25/2008 6:49:28 PM

A man that will whack me over the head with a club and drag me off to his cave so I can spend the rest of my life in servitude.
MeThinks we should whack OP on his head ourselves and drag him off to Red's dungeon and show him, 'er brainwash him I mean..

No OP, not controlling and I think you need to omit the word "aggressive"......."assertive" yes, "aggressive", no.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 17
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Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 6/25/2008 7:08:27 PM
Do you have any evidence of cavemen doing any of these things? That's cartoon stuff. Anytime you make such generalization you are bound to be wrong.
 artzytype
Joined: 6/2/2005
Msg: 20
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Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 6/25/2008 7:10:06 PM
Speaking of cave man days I've just started watching the mini-series Mad Men. It's scary to think men in the 60's thought and acted like that. Not to mention pregnant women smoking!
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 24
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Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 6/25/2008 7:12:16 PM

I'm guessing he just watched his first episdode of the Flintstones but swtched channels before Wilma laid down the law.


 BobRuinedTheDate
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 35
Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 6/25/2008 7:37:31 PM
lethrnek, you're winnin' the gals over with your aggro-testostero-makemeasammich! attitude. I'm sure many of these lovely postmodern femmes struggling to find love in this crazy mixed up world will be drawn inexorably, like tracer bullets to a mangy Iraqi mongrel lickin' his nards in some godforsaken desert village, to your man buzz. But some won't.

Those gals are the ones I dig. Independent and refusing to be subby mutts to some snarling alpha wannabe.

Thanks for culling the herd.

By the way, you'd make a damn fine robot in my robot army. Damn fine.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 39
Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 6/25/2008 8:13:51 PM
~OP~ Silly you ~ for that attitude you best try collar me dot com.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 40
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Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 6/25/2008 8:22:44 PM
I'm more into geeky guys or guys that can build things, alpha males, blah.
 Ron9
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 42
Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 6/25/2008 8:33:42 PM
assertive |əˈsərtiv|
adjective
having or showing a confident and forceful personality : patients should be more assertive with their doctors.

-----

aggressive |əˈgresiv|
adjective
ready or likely to attack or confront; characterized by or resulting from aggression : he's very uncooperative and aggressive | aggressive behavior.
• pursuing one's aims and interests forcefully, sometimes unduly so : an aggressive businessman.

---------

I don't think anyone wants a controlling SO.

But to touch on something that ***COULD*** - make some changes in couple-dom.

If the US economy keeps on it's nosedive - both sides of the couple ***MIGHT*** start to sort out what is really important to them (besides their credit scores).

No ... caveman is not coming back but - families sticking together ........ might see an improvement.

When we start to realize what is REALLY important .... the "power trips" and control freaks may wake up some.
 grizzelda
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 63
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Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 6/26/2008 5:31:58 AM

The reason there are so many divorces is that women get tired of being the leader in the relationship. Regardless of the incarnation, almost all women want some variation of the modern day fairy tale. The problem is, they marry guys who they believe are going to continue to grow and become men...and the guys don't...and eventually, she realizes she can have a better life with one less (adult) child under her care.


I vote this as the best quote of the thread. Can we please have this bronzed and passed around to all males. This is the number one reason why I fell out of love with my ex. I already had a child, I didnt need another one that I didnt sign up for!
 Seavoyage
Joined: 1/18/2007
Msg: 70
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Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 6/26/2008 8:43:30 AM
I think you've got a point, but you said it wrong. Women can't deny that generally men are the physically stronger gender. Women do not want a man who is weak. They want a man who is decisive, who can make decisions, can be very strong, but she doesn't want to be dominated in terms of where her personality doesn't count. She does a man in many cases, though many wouldn't admit it, she can lean on. Of course, even the toughest men though lean on their women. There are certain expectations of males from women. You should simply say a man shouldn't be shy to show his masculine side and even flaunt it, but he shouldn't control things. Now, some women may like the control thing, because they feel secure and protected, but many do not.
Women also want a man who can stand to be tested sharply by his woman and even criticized strongly and stand his ground without getting defensive and being calm about it and proving himself to her that he is strong. In the same way, men want women to be very feminine, nurturing, to be inspirational, to drive the fire found inside men. They say behind every great man is a woman. If a woman is controlled, her greatness cannot shine.

My 4 cents (since there is inflation these days).
 FloridaMusicMan
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 71
Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 6/26/2008 8:48:39 AM
First off Semper Fi bro.Thanks for your service,and I gotta agree with the ladies.Unless it's a roll playing thang,Equals in all aspects.Alot to be said for equality in a relationship.Find a couple who stayed together for say 35+ years,there most common reply to "how did you do it" is they stayed equals in all aspects.
 dantheone
Joined: 5/27/2008
Msg: 77
Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 6/26/2008 9:32:32 AM
This subject is definitely a grey area. Personally, I don't think there is a right or wrong way, every woman is different. I've had gf's that liked me to be the aggressive man, and I've had gf's that didn't like it so much. So assuming you care what your partner thinks, you'll pretty much have to adapt to her.
 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 84
Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 6/26/2008 12:33:40 PM
Caveman days! Yup, club us over the head (wait a minute, a few women on here do that to men), pull our hair (yeah baby), throw us over your shoulder and off to the cave.... Thanks for the laugh! As some have noted...Wilma did always have Fred eating out of her hand after she made mush out of him at the end of most episodes. Yabba dabba doo!
 gonzofanmel
Joined: 10/3/2006
Msg: 88
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Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 6/26/2008 2:47:39 PM
Sorry, but the only caveman I could find myself semi-attracted to is.....

"CAPTAIN......CAAAAAAAAVEMAAAAAAAAN!!"

(and even he was bossed around by three chicks.)

 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 89
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Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 6/26/2008 3:07:32 PM

This subject is definitely a grey area. Personally, I don't think there is a right or wrong way, every woman is different. I've had gf's that liked me to be the aggressive man, and I've had gf's that didn't like it so much. So assuming you care what your partner thinks, you'll pretty much have to adapt to her.


Ding! Ding! Ding!! We have a winner and it's just so obvious wouldn't you think, that everyone would know this and proceed accordingly, but alas, some people like to bang their heads against the wall and wonder Why???
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 90
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Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 6/26/2008 3:48:40 PM

Women don't want a man to control them. What they do want is a man who will take control of situations.


So very true!!!
 fancynanci
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 95
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Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 6/26/2008 4:12:43 PM
I'm attracted to strong, ambitious, determined, willful, decision-making men.
 bcsofnc57
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 98
Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 6/26/2008 5:24:30 PM

It's been my experience that many women if not most women like an assertive, aggressive man.


Thanks but no thanks. Assertive men are the most likely to try and control you, and I won't have it.


A man who can make decisions without asking his female partner what she thinks, what does she want to do or leaving the decision up to her.


If those decisions involve me, and he doesn't ask what I think, he won't be part of my life for long. I really am not trying to find a new father.


But I do believe women want to be somewhat controlled in a limited way.


I don't know any other way to put it, you are insane. I do not need a keeper. I am an adult, and can control myself thank you very much.
 Bejazzenwithme2
Joined: 10/9/2006
Msg: 99
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Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 6/26/2008 5:56:50 PM
I believe the only controling i want from my man would be in the
bedroom. But then again i loveeeeeeee to take control there sometime myself,wink.
Nothing wrong with telling a man what to do there either.
Now if he would like to take control of setting up dates and places to go hey im
all for that surprises are always nice.
 Seavoyage
Joined: 1/18/2007
Msg: 101
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Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 6/27/2008 6:37:06 AM
in Neolithic times there were matri-focal or women cnetred societies and during this time there was NO EVIDENCE of rape..fortification or violence..

this PEACEFUL...PARNERSHIP ways lasted for a million years

we have had DOMINATOR...societies for only 5000 years and
IT IS NOT WORKING...

for realatiohsips to work we NEED PARTNERSHIP..no t control and agression


GQ

I think this is probably more of a myth. Are you going to tell me when were not men and were all pacific? That's more of a New Age kind of idea
not real logical history. As far as women goddesses that was true in some parts of the world, but not everywhere. Not all societies were so focused on female goddesses
over male goddesses from what I understand. This was true in some areas. The whole world is not India or the Middle East. I agree with the idea of partnership, but not the take on history and applying on the whole ancient world. I need some proof of that that this applied everywhere. I am sure men in ancient times used force. I mean we had weapons, we used violence. I am sure men went to war with each other as primitives and took other men's women. That is a more realistic history.
When someone speaks about female goddesses before Jesus, then they are dealing with Semites. The ancient Semites did have a lot of female goddesses and some Arameans did associate with a god in the feminine. Again, not everyone was Aramean or Semite. That's what I have a problem with that history. I wish it were true that there was actually a time with no fighting and warfare. I have never seen any evidence of that in history books.
 Ravenstar66
Joined: 8/27/2007
Msg: 104
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Posted: 6/27/2008 9:19:00 AM

OK Ladies, you all gave some thought provoking thoughts, but honestly most you that have replied if not all of you would loved to be controled by the right in some manner or another. And please read what i wrote, I don't club women.


Not a friggin' chance.. I had one guy who tried that with me and I learned quickly that I really LIKE being an adult and thinking for myself.

Any man who doesn't take my wants into consideration when making decisions that affect me and or us will soon find himself alone. That is just disrespectful.. in ANY relationship. An adult does not make decisions for another adult.. adult DO make decisions for children BECAUSE they don't have the knowledge base yet to make informed decisions. To treat a woman that way is to put her in the position of a child. This works vice versa... I wouldn't treat my man that way either.

A man with a backbone, and respect for his partner, is a far cry from a controlling macho dumbass.

NO.. women (most I would think) would be completely turned off by this attitude, much less it's manifestation.

I make my own money, have a career where I am in a position of authority, pay my own way, raise my own kid, have my own residence...why in the world would I accept some man just taking over my decision making without consulting me?

The bedroom is a different story.. but still must be mutual consent.


The facts of the neolithic.. from what we know so far is that female statuary and images were the first to be created, fertility symbols, goddesses and such.. for a VERY long time before any phallic or male representation occurs. The first "calendars" were made to track menses.. and there doesn't seem to be any evidence of gender inequality amongst neolithic peoples.. females as well as males were buried with honour..and in some cases both with hunting weapons, badges of honour (status symbols) and other implements that weren't gender specific. The peoples who lived in "stone-age" cultures also seem to have been far more gender equal than agricultural or urban cultures... matrilinear or matrifocus society would have made sense as the main concern was the well-being and perpetuation of the tribe because in a Hunter/Gatherer society ALL members were needed to survive and infant mortality would have been high..childbearing women and children would have had high value, we can see this in cultures such as the Celtic tribes of Europe which were much more female friendly than many other more "civilized" peoples. However, since there is no written record we can only speculate as to how their social structure really worked. The Minoans were a great example of a matrifocus society that was very peaceful AND gender equal, that were also highly advanced.. and that's not as far back as the neolithic but right up to the bronze age. There is plenty of evidence, even if difficult to substantially prove, that early societies worshipped a Creatrix first (ie: Mother Earth, Queen of Heaven, Sea Goddesses from which all life came from), which later had a male consort.. it wasn't until people began to breed animals, till the soil and understand how fertility worked that patriarchy began..with the "owning" of land and inheritance rights becoming important. In many places around the world, women still "own" the land and the only way for a man to tap it's wealth is through marriage.

In defense of Middle-eastern women.. the things we interpret as "anti-woman" are not always seen that way over there.. the head coverings, and in some cases full body coverings, are seen as a protective thing, in honour of women, to protect their privacy and keep them from the hassle of being approached by the unscrupulous...unfortunately it has been twisted by the 'patriarchy" into a control measure for the majority. Not all women over there are maliciously dominated, and the original intent was to honour and protect, and also to show deference to God. Not men. As always the fanatics amongst them have used it to serve their own purposes, but try to research and understand it before making blanket statements that paint all with the same brush.. or read, "Behind the Veil", written by a Persian woman, can't remember her name.. sorry. There are aspects to Islamic society that are not at all understood over here, and they are not all anti-female.

Peace
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 107
Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 6/27/2008 10:54:57 AM
I think your observations are wrong.

While a confident man is attractive (given that the opposite is being a milquetoast), I do not believe "many women if not most women" would want a man to make life decisions for her without asking what she thinks. This shows a lack of respect for her and her decision making.

I take it you have never been married? Have you met any women? How did that "making decisions without asking what she thinks" thing work for you?
 Merrylass
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 109
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Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 6/27/2008 1:45:03 PM

And when that happens, she naturally seeks your leadership and in doing such fulfills her need to be with a strong man.

Horsefeathers. I'm a capable, very intelligent woman who fends for herself perfectly fine without needing 'leadership', thanks. What I would like is someone who knows at least as much as I do about how the world works. I couldn't believe I had to instruct my 50+-year-old neighbour about how to negotiate with tradesmen.

The shocking thing about this thread is that hoary old ideas are not restricted to hoary old guys. One would have hoped that modernity might have permeated the under-40 minds but apparently not so.
 WeAre1
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 110
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Cave man days, bring'em back
Posted: 6/27/2008 2:05:09 PM
smuggler, you interpret the OP as

Barring the idea of "clubbing" and "cavemen" .... in a very light hearted view of the situation, the OP may be scratching the surface of a much bigger problem that seems to have been generated.
Women talk about wanting that nice, considerate, gentlemanly type of guy.... Yet they are drawn to that flash in the pan bad boy type. Contridiction in realities??? There is something to be said about the Aggressive, out of control, masculine man, that seems to draw women in. Hence the saying, "Nice guys finish last"......
.....But in a world where boys are raised by women, and end up having no idea of what it is to be a man... The OP may be on to something, more than some would like to admit...."

A few thoughts- to me 'the bad boy' is not an aggressive, controlling man - it is a man who is confident and in control of himself, but still is aware of their attraction to females in a very powerful, but subtle way - not the puppy dog wanting constant attention.
Anyway, that's my idea of a bad boy. Any man or boy who really has aggressive and controlling tendencies is the least attractive.....just like women who are aggressive and controlling are the least attractive.
I agree all genders are struggling with balancing how male and how female each is - with most extremes from either sex a problem.....for it almost seems like both genders have to be confident and in control, along with being true ladies and gentleman also.....or that's how it appears to me.
Strongly secure and lovingly compassionate also....that's my ideal man anyway.... if cavemen were like that, then, yes please....
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