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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > feeling insecure naked......      Home login  
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 Ron9
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 4
feeling insecure naked......Page 1 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
OP ... send all of us guy some naked pictures. We then could give better answers.

Ok - I'll be good now.

I am not overweight at all and ..........

I look much better dressed than undressed. I would imagine that 99% of all guys and all gals over 40 look better dressed.

I would say ....... go with what ya got. If that is not good enough for someone ..... so be it.
 Bewildered100
Joined: 11/27/2007
Msg: 8
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feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/25/2008 10:04:47 PM
Nah!

Girl thinks - OMG, he's gonna notice my right boob is .03 centimetters lower than my right; I should have shaved today; My paunch is HORRIBLE; is my a$$ too big?

Guy thinks - WOW, naked girl!!!!!! MINE, MINE, MINE!!!!
 ankkka
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 10
feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/26/2008 2:51:59 AM
Not while making love...but after...
 FloridaMusicMan
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 24
feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/26/2008 9:47:43 AM
Two thought processes from MY male point of view.1) If both of you have laid down a great foundation for trust and communication,and can discuss anything then talk about it be upfront. If you have some hesitancy about being naked first time.A true Gentlman can and will respect the issue and maybe divulge his own hesitancy also.2) Refer to 1) Sorry I love the green jumpy thangy.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 28
feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/26/2008 2:06:19 PM

Candlelight was invented for just such insecure moments.



....And good wine
If he loves ya, your body shape is not going to matter one single bit.

...maeflowers
 swtcarolinej
Joined: 11/11/2006
Msg: 31
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feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/26/2008 3:57:25 PM
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww I loved what Bona said what a nice guy!!! see there
are STILL some nice ones among us...!!!I dont feel super great about my bod naked either,but with candlelight,the music and the little buzz, its all good I look like whats her name with the great lips!!!LOL
 SueCat51
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 35
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feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/26/2008 6:06:14 PM
When I came into this world and knew I was buck naked, I let out a HUGE wail. I cried like a baby. I was terrified of baring all. I was born so damn poor, that I had no clothes.

Fast forward 52 years. I've got a few wrinkles; a scar (from my belly button down); and padding I didn't know I had. A real man doesn't scrutinize our bodies (like a scouting agent for porno movies). What he will pick up on, is are we comfortable in our own skins. Can we do it with the lights, on, dim, or even off. Can we have fun in bed as well as out of bed. Whether we like it or not, our bodies will fail our expectations, or should I say "Hollyweird" or "fashionable". They will be out of vogue. They will reflect the wear & tear of life. It's a natural part of living. There is no perfection.
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 38
feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/26/2008 8:41:21 PM
I figure any guy who has put in the time and effort to get me naked is pretty much going to accept what I have and I'll be so focused on what he's doing I won't care. Thinking about all the small stuff instead of enjoying the moment is such a mistake. When I was younger with a much hotter body, it was all about how I looked instead of who I am. I really missed out by focusing on the wrong things. If I keep his eyes focused on mine maybe he won't notice my imperfections as much. Kind of like a magic show - it's all an illusion anyways.
 guys4theforums
Joined: 6/9/2008
Msg: 39
feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/28/2008 5:22:46 PM
I try to focus on the more attractive parts on any woman I've been with.If she's got a nice face I focus on the face. If she's got a nice body I focus on the body. Present yourself with confidence and no mater what your going to look better presenting yourself with confidence instead of lack of confidence.
There's nothing wrong with your looks.
 GlindaTheGoodWitch
Joined: 5/23/2008
Msg: 40
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feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/28/2008 5:48:02 PM
Okay, I have never posted before, but I just HAD to on this subject.

I need to lose 50 pounds and I am short, so the pounds show. Neverthless, I get my share of attention and even (gasp) guys who want to get naked with me.

The way I had been handling my insecurities about my naked body was to keep my eyes closed. You know, if I can't see him, he can't see me? Right???? UNTIL I was informed that in closing my eyes, I gave him every opportunity to scrutinize ME.

And here is what he said - you have a nice butt, and I love your cute freckles on your stomach, and then a few other things I can't mention here. Things I will not soon forget.

We definitely are harder on ourselves than they are.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 42
feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/28/2008 6:03:17 PM
...For some reason men seem to enjoy seeing us parade around in heels and a smile, apparently all else matters not....amazing isn't it? Gotta luv em.


...maeflowers


 HappyGreySquirrel
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 44
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feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/29/2008 1:45:30 AM

Do men analyize and scrutinize our bodies while making love?

First a caveat; OP, although I'm speaking in generalities it can only be my view of things [grins] but I bet I'm right.

Two points: It's easy when you look in the mirror to see any imperfections or deviations from "ideal" - when people are looking at you, they're noticing the attractive points. Personally I find that I may or may not find someone initially attractive - as I grow to like them I start to notice more and more attractive things about them. Contrawise, I've known some beautiful, by any standard, women who leave me completely cold as I don't trust them further than I can pee!

The other point: Attraction is more than visual - fragrance (natural or out of a bottle), feel, taste, sound... What you see is only part of the attraction you feel.

I've known a few women who have such a poor self image they've been uncomfortable with the lights on [very big grin] I'm most definitely a lights on guy - despite looking like a shaved gorilla myself.
 HippyDippyWeatherman
Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 45
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feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/29/2008 2:46:30 AM
I would focus more on how you make the partner feel loved rather than how you look naked. My last relationship the woman was drop dead gorgeous physically but I always felt a coldness or distance in the relaitonship. In this instance I think having an alcoholic father and a mother who wasn't the touching feeling sort of mom gave her this aloof sort of vibe. We just didn't match when it came to emotional bonding and that meant more to me than her physical appearance when naked but I sure miss seeing that naked body.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 46
feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 6/29/2008 8:38:42 AM
Two points: It's easy when you look in the mirror to see any imperfections or deviations from "ideal" - when people are looking at you, they're noticing the attractive points. Personally I find that I may or may not find someone initially attractive - as I grow to like them I start to notice more and more attractive things about them. Contrawise, I've known some beautiful, by any standard, women who leave me completely cold as I don't trust them further than I can pee!


...I can relate to that..... after being around someone for any length of time I stop looking at the outside and more than not, have found qualties in them that I find so very attractive, like the way their eyes twinkle when they smile or the sound of their laughter....that sort of thing.


I've known a few women who have such a poor self image they've been uncomfortable with the lights on [very big grin] I'm most definitely a lights on guy - despite looking like a shaved gorilla myself.


....Oh boy, I know what you mean, theres nothing like making whoopee in the wee hours of the morn....

And btw.....the shaved gorilla look can be very becoming.


...maeflowers
 TxSippiGal
Joined: 9/30/2007
Msg: 54
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feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 7/1/2008 5:11:18 PM

Do men analyize and scrutinize our bodies while making love?


I have been struggling with a weight problem most of my life and I can tell you from experience that if a man really likes you?? if he is a good man.. not selfish but is selfless.. he will not scrutinize your body.

Even though I am pretty sad looking naked.. the men I have been with tend to focus on what they like about my body.. So.. lets say I have a big belly I hate.. they will focus on my breasts.. my neck.. my legs..my back.. my face.. my eyes.. etc..

Most men are so insecure about their own naked bodies that they won't notice yours..

I think that we sometimes think that a man can't tell if we have certain problem areas with our bodies.. believe me.. they can tell but it doesn't make any different to them.. believe me..
 Dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 57
feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 7/1/2008 5:34:03 PM
I've always been insecure about my body....when I was younger, I overcame this, by spending money on good lingerie.....corset, or garter belt, with stockings, the whole works. They didn't see my body till they were past the excitement of seeing the corset, etc. ...and then it didn't matter.

Are we too old for this now?

~DC~
 Dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 59
feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 7/2/2008 7:20:37 PM
amo-vida, I know the garter belts you are refering to, as I also went to school in the days of no slacks or jeans allowed and before the invention of pantyhose, (which I now think are ugly)

But when it is a long lacy bra with matching lacy panties and garter belt, it's a LOT different than what we wore then.....then there is the corset with the garters attached..then the garter belt is no longer necessary.

If you just learned it in recent years, and are over 50 also, can I assume we can still wear it without looking like we are trying to be 'youngsters'? I have no idea what the guys our age want/like.....my last guy wasn't into it, but he doesn't necessarily speak for the majority....right?....or not? Just curious.

~DC~ *wondering if they even MAKE them for our age ...allowing for the darn middle-age spread...LOL*
 catman40
Joined: 5/20/2007
Msg: 60
feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 7/3/2008 4:10:14 AM
my ex-girlfreind who was 130 felt very VERY insucure about her body . she never wantred any lights on or for me to see her naked . SHE said she looked fat . yeah sure . a woman who is 130 looks fat and the chubby ones don't ?
 TxSippiGal
Joined: 9/30/2007
Msg: 65
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feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 7/4/2008 6:32:09 PM
Men do not care what a womens body looks like. Lumps, bumps and all. Honestly. You are all beautiful . Please believe us.


Thanks JB.. I tried to say this but you made it sound much better.. I have found this to be true.. very true.. and to add to it.. a plain woman who will respond to a man is far more appealing to him than a gorgeous woman who won't.. it is our response to them that makes us beautiful..

So gals..lets revel in our own beauty..

I recently dated a guy who made me feel so beautiful.. and feminine.. his male essence was so strong to me.. and I found myself responding to his maleness.. He was not macho at all but he was just himself and I found the woman in me enjoying being a woman around him and I cherished our times together.

What is it that Warren Beaty says in Shampoo about how he loves woman.. he said he loves how they smell,how they feel, everything about them.. well that is how we ladies feel about being with you guys.
 Green Sangha
Joined: 3/12/2008
Msg: 66
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feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 7/5/2008 6:00:14 AM
What great responses from the guys on this thread! (women too!) It is encouraging to know there are men who are interested in the whole woman and accept and love them in their bodies just as they are. Of course, let's remember this isn't true for all men. Many men (and a fair share of women) are looking for some "ideal" body, even over 45. But I'd like to think the men on this thread represent a growing majority of men who are emotionally mature and can love a woman despite her figure flaws and maybe even appreciates her soft round a*s and belly.;-)

I do think in western culture that men are taught to objectify women's bodies rather than relate to the whole person and it takes some personal growth to break out of the conditioned response. I, like most women I know, am drawn to all kinds of men in all kinds of bodies. When I am with a man who excites me mentally and spiritually, in addition to physically, then I am turned on to making love to him and his specific body. The body of a beloved partner is so special, dear, and desirous that presumed "flaws" slip away, or at least recede in importance. As a matter of fact, something seen as a flaw can be endearing when our heart is open to loving. As men here have responded, it is clear there are men who feel the same -even if it is simplified to "YIPPEE, I'm with a naked woman and she is all mine", lol.

By the way, thanks to everyone who is contributing to this thread. I've been feeling really disheartened by some extra weight and wondering if this was a good time to meet new men. While I will still work on eating and exercising for health and comfort, I am feeling encouraged by your comments here and will try to stay open to new possibilities.
feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 7/5/2008 10:27:41 PM
Well first off I'm not a insecure woman at all! I'm quite secure , I look in that mirror each day and like what I see. I work at making my self better each day and no I'm far from perfect but I have high self esteam and there is no issues with my body I am what God made me to be. I hope my mate will see the inner and not so much the outter part of me , that he will appreciate me mind , body and soul and not be shallow and love me for me! I have no problem standing naked in front of the mirror or standing bare naked before my mate letting him look at me , but I want him to know there is more to me than just my naked body and I hope he has the mind to win my body and take my heart and hold it and cherrish me the way I am and love me just for me!
Nice to know that not all men are PIGS!!! meaning shallow but there are ones with kind HEARTS too in this singles world we all live in and are apart of.
Thank you to the gentelmen for there kind remarks.

Great Post ...Thanks to the Author for creating it.
Peace and Love everyone I'm out good night
Yours,Brenny

" A REAL PERSON WILL LOVE YOU FOR YOU NAKED OR NOT".
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 79
feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 7/7/2008 11:54:32 PM
I'm not an avid fan of reality shows normally, but being too ill to care what came on tv, I happened to catch "Looking Good Naked" or "How To Look Good Naked" ...anyhow, the show revolved around woman with low self-esteem who were feeling insecure about themselves and their bodies. It was interesting that with the help of professionals they were able to work through their self -esteem issues and look at themselves much more positively. One thing that struck me was that things we may view as imperfections are not even noticed as such by others....

I would not have had the courage to take off all my clothes and pose nude for the camera much less my naked body be viewed on the side of building by hundreds of passerbys...no way, I don't have that much confidence haha

...maeflowers
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 80
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feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 7/8/2008 5:37:50 AM
Miss Mae? I too have seen that show. I have to say it is wonderful! The way they get women to feel so good about what they have! Once they reach that conclusion their lives truly change. Why is that? Cuz they radiate their inside feelings of being positive on the outside.That is one reality show that I think is truly worth it's weight in gold!
 swingpup
Joined: 10/21/2006
Msg: 82
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feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 7/8/2008 9:20:33 AM
Hell yes all women are beautiful fully clothed or naked. A size 2 or 22 as long as they are well kempt gorgeous. I don't know about all other men but I know the guys here in the office when we talk about women it's not about their bodies but the performance as well as their out going enthusiasm.
 seeker1997
Joined: 5/8/2006
Msg: 83
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feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 7/8/2008 9:25:41 AM
Do men analyize and scrutinize our bodies while making love?
Yeah! What is your point?
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