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 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 2
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What's equality in a guy's wants for a woman?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
IMO people are trying to sort out what equality means to them. One of the great things about the times we live in is that there is such openness and creativity possible in defining what is the appropriate relationship and roles for each person. A woman today can pick up power tools and enjoy the creativity of building or fixing something without it being a reflection on her femininity.

Equality does not mean "the same". Men and women are very different, each individual has their own strengths and weaknesses. The goal is about finding someone who is compatible with who you are and the life you want to create.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 4
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What's equality in a guy's wants for a woman?
Posted: 6/28/2008 1:21:23 PM
I think if you ask 100 guys you'll get 100 different opinions. But I'm also curious how guys define this.
 Van_the_man_Unusual
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 6
What's equality in a guy's wants for a woman?
Posted: 6/28/2008 2:22:06 PM
Some interesting views on this.
 MLG42
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 7
What's equality in a guy's wants for a woman?
Posted: 6/28/2008 2:45:27 PM
I would have to say read his profile. There should be something in the profile that describes him, then break it down from there. He could have a higher form of education and looking for a woman that has one as well. He could be into hunting, and looking for a woman that also hunts, yes there are women that hunt. So to him he is probably looking for someone of his counter.
I would say to re-read his profile, and if it is not clear on his behalf, then ask him. nothing wrong with a woman taking the first step.There are some of us men that do not base relationships on money, job, car or even looks. We are trying to find that special someone that we would like to be with.
Just on the funnier side. Now if I or some one was to say in there headline " looking for my other half" Does that mean they only have half a body?....

 CMonster
Joined: 12/4/2004
Msg: 9
What's equality in a guy's wants for a woman?
Posted: 6/28/2008 3:45:28 PM

I think if you ask 100 guys you'll get 100 different opinions. But I'm also curious how guys define this.

I say just that each person should make a real effort to sustain the relationship by doing whatever is necessary in their particular situation. It could be as simple as the woman taking the guy out or the guy remembering anniversaries.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 12
What's equality in a guy's wants for a woman?
Posted: 6/28/2008 4:36:50 PM

Or does it mean that I make the same amount of money he does?

Bingo! (Or more maybe.....?????)

He insists that it's the reason why he likes women who use power tools. I think that wanting a woman who uses power tools is hardly equality. It's rather effeminate.

LMFAO ~ oh sure. I'm with you OP ~ just because I own and know how to use a Makita doesn't mean that men/women will ever be equal, and that includes me. Sigh!!!

~OT~ This is such an age-old debate, I do really wonder when those close to my own age will just remember the reality: it's a couple by couple situation. Equality may exist somewhat in the home, if both parties are attempting that environment, but out in the "real world" it's not likely going to happen in my lifetime. JMO
 wolfy35
Joined: 5/8/2008
Msg: 28
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What's equality in a guy's wants for a woman?
Posted: 6/29/2008 1:09:18 AM
For me its much simpler than looking for someone who has similar interests or has a similar educational profile etc.

For me equality in a relationship means that you ignore everything like earnings, education. When you are in a relationship you should both see that you are half of something special and be prepared to put the same amount into it as you want to recieve, There should be no expecting your partner to do something for you weather that be sexually or otherwise. You should see your partner as the most important person in your life and they see you as the same.
You should both be there because you want to be together and work to keep things good and make each other happy
 YingKissesYang
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 29
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What's equality in a guy's wants for a woman?
Posted: 6/29/2008 2:28:24 AM
Or does it mean that I make the same amount of money he does? He insists that it's the reason why he likes women who use power tools
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"Equality" can mean millions of things....best thing to do is grab a dictionary, start there. Like my mother used to say "look it up". I did become a fair speller that way.

(((So, yeah. Equality means=CHEAP
That's right, only women have the right to be CHEAP DATES!)))

Which dictionary did you use?
 GREENEYES269
Joined: 7/30/2006
Msg: 31
What's equality in a guy's wants for a woman?
Posted: 6/29/2008 2:58:22 AM
For Msg 5 You are right 100 guys would probley come up with 100 answers.Equality means-of the same quantity,size,value,etc. Having same rights,ability,rank,evenly proportioned.
But i'm hear to tell you most of the guys would have seen size,rank value. In the end it means something different to a lot. I've been told I do all the stuff out side and she does the stuff inside. What a crock There is a lot of ways a woman should not be treated equal to a guy its not the weaker sex thing eather. In the end there is almost nothing a guy can do that a girl can't. It's she should'nt have to. My thing is I want to bet treated equal. House work and yard work that stuff don't matter I can do all the stuf been doing it for a lot longer than I care to rember. I want for her to treat me as I treat her. that is equal that other stuff can be put on the kids .When we get to where we treat each other the same way. We would never have to worrie about who did what around the house. I guess the Cave man thing is still in a lot of minds
 philosopherpoet
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 32
What's equality in a guy's wants for a woman?
Posted: 6/29/2008 4:14:33 AM

This guy I know on here insists he wants "equality" in a woman. That sounds like some kind of 70's women's lib cry to me. What the heck does it mean? That she doe her share of the work around the house (because I always had to do the housework and dishes when he was around). Or does it mean that I make the same amount of money he does? He insists that it's the reason why he likes women who use power tools. I think that wanting a woman who uses power tools is hardly equality. It's rather effeminate. IMHO


Generally, it means that the couple shares duties, decision making and is on par intellectually. Perhaps what he means by power tools is that he likes a woman that isn't obsessed with shoes, makeup, and the mall as her major interests in life. That does not make him effeminate. I would find it rather archaic to think that all women are supposed to enjoy one type of activity over another. The human psyche is as varied as grains of sand.

I happen to like power tools, gadgets, computers, gaming and other stuff that society might call "masculine". I also happen to hate shoes and most things that are girly. That doesn't make me masculine. Emotionally, I'm as girly as the next gal.
 WeAre1
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 33
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What's equality in a guy's wants for a woman?
Posted: 6/29/2008 5:09:40 AM
ahhh, I so agree Levi -

"....I much prefer to find the similarities of all human beings and then learn from, and explore, the differences. In the male/female senario, I celebrate the differences! As someone once said, "Love may not make the world go round, but it damn sure makes the ride worth it!"

and OP, why don't you ask your friend what he meant? (save us all guessing)
 Md Cowboy
Joined: 7/22/2007
Msg: 34
What's equality in a guy's wants for a woman?
Posted: 6/29/2008 7:43:38 AM
Equality is not natural, it will not endure in a relationship. Equality is exactly why the divorce rate has skyrocked and men and women seek out the same sex for marriage. It is just plain wrong and will not survive.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 35
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What's equality in a guy's wants for a woman?
Posted: 6/29/2008 9:58:21 AM

Equality is not natural, it will not endure in a relationship.

Oddly enough, I just made a post on another thread that kind of supported your post there. Hmm, what is your idea of equality I wonder?
I'll make a sports analogy, and if hockey isn't your thing, just switch up the sport in your mind. The one carrying the puck might be leading at the moment, but no where near as effectively if his team mate isn't in position to either take a pass or tie up the other team. Many goals get scored by one player because the other one was there providing a place for the puck to go. Even if you don't touch the puck on a play your presence is important to making that play happen.

Just as team sports are dynamic, constantly switching roles between offense and defense, so is the roles people play in a relationship. You get further if you are a good two-way player. That's what I think effective equality is... the ability to read the play and know if, in this moment, your role is to lead, follow or get out of the way. Someone who thinks they have to carry the puck all of the time isn't really an effective team player... sometimes ya just gotta pass the puck to make the play.
 CadWhiz
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 36
What's equality in a guy's wants for a woman?
Posted: 6/29/2008 10:00:22 AM

WeAre1: and OP, why don't you ask your friend what he meant? (save us all guessing)

Because she's already gotten an answer and doesn't like it / doesn't agree with it /wants ammunition?

I don't believe this is an either/or thing. Men and women are similar in some basic ways, but very, very different in some big basic ways as well. There is also so much variation between individual people that questions like this will always get bogged down with 'but that doesn't fit ME' responses. I also think this is yet another issue that is hugely influenced by the era you grew up in, and whether you had siblings of the opposite gender; what your work environment is. If you had no siblings or siblings of all the same gender, you are maybe more likely to see the other gender as an alien race. If you work exclusively with your gender you might stray toward a skewed view of the other gender (especially if your coworkers spout that kind of stuff).

People with a more traditional, old fashioned outlook are more likely to lean towards the genders being "different". I'd have to place myself on that side of the scale, but it is kept in check by growing up with brothers (damned pesky little buggers) and working in an almost completely male environment. I don't see it as a problem until you run into someone who feels the need to see the other gender as inferior. So you get the male-bashing or dumb blond jokes in the email. And surprisingly to me, I'll get those with a nasty little hostile edge to them far more often from people who place themselves on the 'equality' side of the scale than the 'vive la difference' side.

The trick is finding the person with the big, basic things that agree - outlook on life, personal integrity and honor, what you want your life to look like.

But – the other area I think people have wildly varying ideas about is whether their SO should be just like them and share outlook, interests, opinions, amount of time spent together, or whether they are comfortable with differences. If one person is completely rattled by the idea that their SO has separate interests, friends, and can still feel close while spending time outside the relationship, it won't matter how alike they are in everything else, and how equal they try to make the division of work and salary and giving and cooking and sex and laundry and who takes out the trash. They're going to feel slighted if the other person spends time doing that interest or being with friends apart from them. If one person feels threatened by the other having different opinions and is not comfortable batting those ideas around and lobbing opinions back and forth (this assumes a respectful, fun, pleasant exchange of ideas, not arguments), it won't matter how many other things are perfectly aligned.

If you are comfortable with the idea that the other person having separate hobbies or different opinions or deep connections to family and friends doesn't dilute their connection to you, you'll probably be more likely to embrace other differences as well.

Jules
 allpafla
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 37
One Guy's View
Posted: 6/29/2008 10:08:52 AM
Equality in a relationship means that you are both equally invested in making the relationship work. It is give and take on both sides. Counselors will tell you that any relationship that is one sided, one person giving and the other taking, is not one that will work.
If both parties joyfully give to their partner all that they are and have to give, that relationship will flourish and grow strong and both will be happy.
 ManeRider
Joined: 5/22/2005
Msg: 41
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What's equality in a guy's wants for a woman?
Posted: 6/29/2008 1:01:36 PM

Just as team sports are dynamic, constantly switching roles between offense and defense, so is the roles people play in a relationship. You get further if you are a good two-way player. That's what I think effective equality is... the ability to read the play and know if, in this moment, your role is to lead, follow or get out of the way. Someone who thinks they have to carry the puck all of the time isn't really an effective team player... sometimes ya just gotta pass the puck to make the play.


That's a great analogy, Margo.
Having cast aside the universal roles men and women played, prior to feminist uprising, there's an everpresent desire to redefine the definition of equality, and boths sides of the coin have agendas. But someone truly open-minded, someone truly seeking equality, is a good team player, someone who's watching to pass the puck effectively, or to take the lead and make the shot, given whatever the best choice to make is.

We could all use some of that discipline.
 2HEDZ
Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 45
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What's equality in a guy's wants for a woman?
Posted: 6/29/2008 7:55:42 PM
equality is just a word. it doesnt mean anything when it comes to people. a relationship is never equal. someone always defers to the other depending on the situation.
 thatswhatshesaid
Joined: 12/28/2007
Msg: 47
What's equality in a guy's wants for a woman?
Posted: 6/29/2008 9:15:20 PM
When someone says "I want to find my equal" I immediately get the sneeking suspicion that they think they're better than everyone else and they'd like to find someone who is "worthy" of them.

I assume they tell themselves their last relationship failed because their partner was exceedingly common and not up to the task of matching them.

Looking for my "equal" has a pretty positive ring to it on the surface, but it smacks of blame shifting, lingering just below.
 smileee4u
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 52
What's equality in a guy's wants for a woman?
Posted: 6/30/2008 11:09:51 AM
I do what I enjoy... and hire out the rest. Then, if a guy I'm dating comes around and wants to help out around the place.... I consider it that he's enjoying doing some fixing. That way, everything is done and we're having fun.
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 53
What's equality in a guy's wants for a woman?
Posted: 7/2/2008 4:28:23 PM

I think that wanting a woman who uses power tools is hardly equality. It's rather effeminate.


I agree completely. Women have a FAR wider array of power tools available to them compared with what men have.

You guys have purple power tools, long and hard power tools, small buzzing power tools, adjustable power tools, crooked power tools, wobbly power tools, double headed power tools... and the list goes ON....

.... we have a magazine and some lube.

Sheesh.....
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 54
What's equality in a guy's wants for a woman?
Posted: 7/2/2008 4:44:54 PM

The man generally was the one who made all decisions relating to children, finances etc.
The woman was generally the submissive one and did not question her husband's authority.

But many of these traditional wives were VERY adept at making the man's life a slow quiet HELL if she disagreed with his decisions...
Cindy O
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 56
What's equality in a guy's wants for a woman?
Posted: 7/2/2008 5:07:56 PM
john.duke12


I don't what you two are talking about.

Well, for all that you were able to express an opinion about the statements.

Actually, your perception is probably the most accurate. The statement I made was meant to be humor with a core of truth. I'm not talking about the man and woman abusing one another,simply that the lady made her hubby's life a little less pleasant; too much starch in his boxers, "forgetting" his favorite foods and "remembering" his UNfavorite ones.

Dude, who stole your sense of humor? Why are you here on a dating site? Are you looking for a woman to punish for what some other woman has done to you?
I refer to your mesg 66;

Most women have no capability to love a man.What does a woman do in the relationship? Its the men paying for dates, cooking , buying gifts, giving massages, offering support, planning picnics and days out, driving her around. It should be equal from the start but women are selfish. If a man is ever getting as much as he gives or more every woman will tell her he is being abusive and to get out.

If you REALLY think women are such pieces of sh*t, why are you even ON a dating site??
Cindy O
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 57
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What's equality in a guy's wants for a woman?
Posted: 7/2/2008 5:18:09 PM

e·qual
–adjective
1. as great as; the same as...

For those of you who say "equal" doesn't mean "the same as", I want some of whatever you're smokin'.
I'd have to TOTALLY AGREE with him.
As for the pound of feathers or pound of lead argument. True also. However, in order to BE EQUAL....the feathers have to be a much greater VOLUME. Using that argument (which I believe in) that just because something is harder for me because I'm smaller than men....does NOT give me a pass on doing the EQUAL work. If I upheld that argument...then I'd only be paid a fraction of what my male co-workers earn. Since I wanted "equality in pay....I accept the extra energy (volume) that I have to expend in order to actually BE "equal". Anything else is a farce.

That's right, only women have the right to be CHEAP DATES!

-which isn't equality, though that never seems to sink in with many.
Correct again. Any man who can't handle me paying 50% or me doing 50% of the work load....had better look elsewhere. I neither want an "unequal partner" NOR will I be an "unequal partner".


But someone truly open-minded, someone truly seeking equality, is a good team player, someone who's watching to pass the puck effectively, or to take the lead and make the shot, given whatever the best choice to make is.
Agreed again. I have NEVER been able to figure out how these women (in movies) can just stand there and scream while their man is getting the $hit kicked out of him by the bad guy....based on the fact that ....she's female and too girly to pick up a baseball bat and whack the bad guy over the head. Doesn't she realize that her man is ALL that stands between her and the bad guy???? Does she think that when the bad guy is done he's going to ignore her because she's "different"? Yet, I see the same kinds of things happen in REAL LIFE every day. The more "feminine" the women...the worse they are. Resting on the arrogance of being "feminists"....equal but different....they'll let their men worry themselves into ulcers over a lay off or broken leg....but they won't get off their butts to help the guy out because.....it's "not their job".


I dated a woman who didn't know how to check the oil in her car, and I knew another one who I had to teach to put air in her tires. The guy probably doesn't want someone like THAT. What's effeminate about wanting a woman who can do the same things you can do? I don't personally need someone like that, but I can understand where the guy is coming from.
Please, tell me....what IS the difference between a woman learning to check her oil or put air in a tire.....and a man learning to change a baby's diaper or operate a washing machine? To me, THIS is where the "inequality" comes in. There is no physical handicap by virtue of size and strength when it comes to checking the oil and putting air in a tire.....yet so many women who claim equality still cling to those things being "the man's job".....AS is changing the baby, doing the dishes, the laundry, and being sensitive, always remembering special dates, blah, blah, blah. I mean, come on now.......I taught my ex how to tie a perfect bow and how to braid our 3 daughters hair. It probably looked pretty dang stupid to the neighbors when he left for church with 3 perfect little girls....and 2 hrs later when I got home from work (3rd shift) that I was outside chopping firewood. It's whats called....EQUALITY.


I agree completely. Women have a FAR wider array of power tools available to them compared with what men have.
LOL!!!! so true! But that doesn't mean that MY tool box does not include, drills, (electric, pneumatic and cordless) a circular saw, and impact wrench, a jig saw, a chain saw, a grinder, and a router.

I want a partner. I want mutual problem solving. I want things to be even. I don't want to be shoe horned into things because I'm "the man."
I agree. An equal partner is equal in problem solving, responsibility and accountability.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 58
What's equality in a guy's wants for a woman?
Posted: 7/2/2008 5:48:21 PM

And if someone can prove my statement wrong I would be quite happy to admit I was wrong.

I seriously doubt that, because;

But that is what most relationships are like.

you've made up your mind already.

It sometimes slips my mind that not everyone is on a dating site or wherever, looking for a serious relationship. I guess you would be one of those who aren't?
Which is perfectly OK, of course, but if you are just looking for somebody to hang out with, casual dating or someone to have sex with, seems like it would be easier to find that in real time venues.
Cindy O
 WeAre1
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 59
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What's equality in a guy's wants for a woman?
Posted: 7/2/2008 5:56:59 PM

Most women have no capability to love a man.What does a woman do in the relationship? Its the men paying for dates, cooking , buying gifts, giving massages, offering support, planning picnics and days out, driving her around. It should be equal from the start but women are selfish. If a man is ever getting as much as he gives or more every woman will tell her he is being abusive and to get out.

JD12...I see you're still bashing women on a grand scale. I don't see any woman here being equal in your bashing persistance.
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