|Please......Page 1 of 1 |
|OK, I've got broad shoulders. |
Suggestions, comments, or insight?
Thank you in advance.
Posted: 6/28/2008 1:29:42 PM
|Come on, Rose! I just KNOW you are better than your profile, why not make it reflect your personality? You have one itty bitty line in there about your personality, everything else is interests. The interests, while, um...interesting, belong in the INTERESTS section!|
You would benefit greatly from rewriting your profile in the three paragraph format. The first one is all about you, your personality, your unique qualities, the second about your interests, what you like to do, and the third is about who you are looking for, his qualities.
Have you read the profile writing tips thread at the top of this forum? It is full of good info that might help you get some ideas of what to include and what to leave out.
PLEASE think about rewriting this. It does little to show off your personality.
Good luck! And post back here when you have done some editing for more.
Posted: 6/28/2008 1:40:11 PM
|I can't speak for everyone, but I know that I don't enjoy reading lists. There's the interest section for that. It's not easy to follow, and doesn't let your personality come out in your sentence structure. Please write some paragraphs!|
After your pictures, which are GREAT, the description of yourself is disappointing. I want to see who that woman is, not read a grocery list.
Posted: 6/28/2008 1:45:16 PM
|Thanks, girls, I have a word document open, as we type |
I have used paragraphs, lists and have even written it all in poetry.. sighhhh.
Back to the drawing board....
to be continued...
Posted: 6/28/2008 2:53:43 PM
|I loook forward to seeing the revision. Please post here again when you have it done!|
Posted: 6/28/2008 3:00:19 PM
|One other preemptive piece of advice. The photos are not showing BBW - but without the full body photo, there is no way to tell. Make sure to add one such. You might be a little too hard on yourself.|
Posted: 6/28/2008 3:30:19 PM
|OK.. that will have to do for now. I am exhausted.. |
Posted: 6/29/2008 9:39:52 PM
|Yay! Your new profile is MUCH better. It's well written, not too short or too long, shows individuality, and describes what you're looking for.|
Posted: 6/30/2008 3:20:05 PM
|Thank you, Sarah, it was not easy deciding what to put in my profile.|