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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before      Home login  
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 vanucks87
Joined: 6/12/2008
Msg: 1
asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf beforePage 1 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
do you notice a lot of asian girls and white guys nowadays esp in dwtn vancouver or maybe even in your area. what do you think of it. do you have female asian freinds who uisually with white guys as bfs and never asians guys-what do they say is the reason to it. what do u think of it. its kinda of weird seeing so many.
and its usually the cbc chinese canadian girls who are born and raised in north america whtie washed, has a lot of white friends or even some asian friend tend to be very outspoken , have tans and they tell you they never ever had a asian bf before, but she has had many bfs before and dated many guys, just never a asian guy .

asian guys what would you think of this if a asian girl told you this, would you bother asking her out if you find her hot or cute. i mean all her bfs and the guys she dated have all been white. the girl is approx 24-30 years old and has no once had a asian bf in her life.
would you date her seriously or if at all.
oh ya mind you the girl lives in vancouver or richmond ,bc a area with a lot of asians and she went to a HS with mainly asian ppl, but for some reason never dated a asian guy
 dirsup
Joined: 9/28/2005
Msg: 2
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asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 6/29/2008 7:27:50 PM
OK, I am a white old guy, but I was not always that way (I have always been white, but not necessarilyu old). I am retired from the US Navy and did over 17 years of my 26 in Asia. Back in MY day, wherever you were stationed (Japan, PI, Guam, et al, I have been stationed in all of them) the locals ladies were looking for a way OUT and I dont blame them. They would marry a sailor quicker than you could count to 10. Just to geet out. Times and social mores have changed, these ladies now have evolved. They are better educated, way more adept at the "western" life style. I dont care if they were born in Asia, the majority of these girls have an idea of the asian male from their background and evidently think they might be better off with a caucasian. Probably not the correct assumption, but that is what they grew up with.
Just my opinion.
Thank you,
Bill
 springroll2go
Joined: 5/4/2008
Msg: 3
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asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 6/29/2008 7:33:49 PM
Yes, that is absurdly odd. Maybe they don't feel that we are attractive enough, or maybe it's because they all think we're all too nerdy for them...shhessshh..who know's
what goes on in their minds. Maybe we're just not good enough for them, plain and simple.
 richard233
Joined: 11/10/2006
Msg: 4
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asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 6/29/2008 9:02:20 PM


oh ya mind you the girl lives in vancouver or richmond ,bc a area with a lot of asians and she went to a HS with mainly asian ppl, but for some reason never dated a asian guy


One word: Self-Hate.


That's making some large assumptions.
People have their preferences for many reasons.
I tend to date Asian women. Why, because where I go ballroom and swing dancing
there tend to be more Asian women. Some are born here, others are relatively new.
I am starting to see a greater mix lately, I guess the dancing TV shows are finally
getting more of the mainstream people in.

But I digress.
It's possible that the "best" option available happens to be of one group or another.
I don't assume that white women dating non-white men hate themselves or white
men, I just assume that the person they are dating has qualities that they appreciate.

Women who hate themselves just date guys that mistreat them. And guys can be
jerks from any race.

It is my personal believe that the differences between the "races" are either
superficial or come down to culture. Once a generation is raised in a different
culture, they no longer act/think so much in the same way as the previous
generation.
 flyingiguana
Joined: 3/4/2008
Msg: 5
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asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 6/29/2008 9:02:48 PM
maybe i should move to vancouver! i usually only date asian girls
 leanco
Joined: 12/7/2006
Msg: 6
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asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 6/30/2008 2:54:54 AM
Two sisters I know, they are Chinese, in their mid 20s and both born in Vancouver. One seems to only date Caucasian men exclusively while the other is still with her first b/f, an Asian guy.

Seems to me that this is how most Asian women date here in Vancouver. They will either only date Caucasians only, or they will only date fellow Asians only. It's not very common for someone to date both races evenly.

I've never asked why this one sister only dates Caucasian. I know that the answer could be as simple as, "cause I'm attracted to his looks/personality", and perhaps it is really that simple. However, I do suspect that for some, it is because of a secret yearning to be accepted as a "white" Canadian. Asian males have rarely been portrayed favorably in the media and being Asian carries a certain stigma that some may find hard to bear. It is no surprise that most of those who choose to date Caucasians exclusively are usually born and raised here in North America, and are usually the least comfortable with Asian culture.


if a asian girl told you this, would you bother asking her out if you find her hot or cute. i mean all her bfs and the guys she dated have all been white. the girl is approx 24-30 years old and has no once had a asian bf in her life.
would you date her seriously or if at all.


You can't change the way people think, and it's not your duty to do so either. I doubt that you as an Asian will be given a fair chance to even have a date with a girl who prefers to only date Caucasian guys. The hang up is hers. You can persistently pursue her if you want, but why bother? As they say, there are plenty of fish out there.
 vanucks87
Joined: 6/12/2008
Msg: 7
asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 6/30/2008 5:50:54 AM
ya tell me about it hey. i find it more wiht the cbc asian girls who are born and raised here-very white washed
 flyingiguana
Joined: 3/4/2008
Msg: 8
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asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 6/30/2008 8:34:51 AM

ou've got a right to be concerned, OP. But don't worry about those women, people who have interracial relationships, or people who support it. Those kinds of people are dishonoring their heritage, and they lack understanding and wisdom. And for someone to say they exclusively don't prefer a mate of their own race is to say they don't prefer themselves. They aren't a majority by any means, and you wouldn't want to date someone like that anyway. They don't reflect any entire race, just an outspoken minority with a disproportionate cultural presence that's a result of the destructive social trends of the last 50 years.


ignorance is bliss and stupidity is a dime a dozen around this neck of the woods
 MajorThomas
Joined: 2/10/2008
Msg: 9
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asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 6/30/2008 8:42:30 AM
Everyone knows white guys love asian girls.

Funny it doesn't work the other way around(white girls into asian guys)

stuffwhitepeoplelike.com
 Javan2
Joined: 7/9/2005
Msg: 10
asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 6/30/2008 10:25:26 AM
ErinEstrella wrote: " Someone wrote me a hate email last night about that crap and how dumb I was for it. "

Well, you date who you imagine you are attracted to sexually. It's an individual thing. I once knew a blackwoman who only dated white guys. She got into a relationship with one and he beat the hell out of her with nong-chucks. Part of me feels bad that I found this funny as hell.
 Dumpling-Girl
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 11
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asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 6/30/2008 11:59:37 AM
Oh, there's this great YouTube video about this, called yellow fever. It's so funny - basically it's about this Asian guy (writer/director of the video) who is on a quest to figure out why there are so many white guy/asian girl couples out there...at one point he and his other Asian male friend are playing Dance Dance Revolution at home (which is hysterical in itself) and his friend says something like...maybe it's because we're at home on a Saturday night playing DDR!

Okay, I'll admit it, I have a preference for white guys, and I have never dated an Asian before. I wouldn't say that I would never date an Asian - very occassionally, I will run into one that I think is cute enough (but there are a lot of nerdy looking ones around that don't take care of themselves physically, and aren't very forthright and adventurous). Don't tell me I'm racist, it's just what I see. I would say that you are above average, OP, so go ahead and try to ask the girl out anyway. If she rejects you, don't take it personally, because maybe her preference for white guys is super strong. Honestly, I have a strong preference, but very few Chinese guys have actually asked me out, so there's that too.

So just to sum up generally why I think I prefer white guys (it's not something that would change whether I was conscious of the reasons or not - it's just an attraction thing, but I have thought about it, because I'm the kind of person who tries to analyze things like this):
white guys (the majority of them, vs. the majority of Asians...there are always exceptions)
- seem cuter
- more rugged (often taller, more muscley, more broad-shouldered, hairier, square-jawed, less whiney)
- more adventurous, more outdoorsy, sometimes have a more pro-active energy (I like guys who are not into obsessed with their cars, more artsy types)
- more forthright/aggressive about asking a girl out and being manly on a date
- more seductive
- likely have a bigger .... (not as important a factor, but it's there)

I would like to date an Asian one day, as I suspect possibly that Asian guys will
- have better manners (or at least line up with the manners I get from my Asian upbringing)
- more likely to insist on paying for dinner and not be a cheap **stard during the relationship
- may have a better understanding of what it's like to come from an ethnic background but be born and raised here
- more likely to be an attentive serious boyfriend (spends a lot of time with their girlfriend, rather than insisting on "space" all the time). More doting and attentive in general behaviours - the kind of guy who will give a girl his coat when she's cold, rather than just being oblivious.

Don't bother refuting these generalizations, by the way. First of all, it's just perception, so there's no point arguing it. It's just subjective. Also, I know that there are going to be a bunch of white guys who will want to chime in and say "hey, I'll give a woman my coat if she's cold." And sure, I've dated attentive white guys. It's possible to find very attentive white guys, and I do...but there may be a greater proportion of attentive Chinese guys because it is part of our upbringing. If you grow up seeing all of the males in your family attending to the women in little ways (even just scooping food for their wife from the middle of the table when she could easily be the one that scoops for them, or pouring the tea for everyone, for example), then you can see how this would be missing when in a relationship with someone who has a completely different upbringing.

Just go for it. As much as I'm aware of my preference for white guys, there have definitely been Asian guys I would have dated, but they just never asked me.
 richard233
Joined: 11/10/2006
Msg: 12
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asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 6/30/2008 1:10:01 PM

If you grow up seeing all of the males in your family attending to the women in little ways (even just scooping food for their wife from the middle of the table when she could easily be the one that scoops for them, or pouring the tea for everyone, for example), then you can see how this would be missing when in a relationship with someone who has a completely different upbringing.


It definetly goes to dealing with culture you currently live in.
Part of it has to do with the confusion the feminist movement has brought to our
society. With "equality" you also to some extent lose "chivalry".
The rules, attitudes and expectations of women have sharply changed.
People don't seem to date too much anymore. The younger crowds just seem to meet
at parties and start making out. I'm a bit old fashioned. I've tried the old ordering
the meal for her bit, after finding out what she wanted, and my date found it
"paternalistic". Strange, she did not have a problem with me picking up the check.
 vanucks87
Joined: 6/12/2008
Msg: 13
asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 6/30/2008 5:38:10 PM
you hardly see black woman with whtie guys though hey. i lived in seattle for a while, and didn't see too many.
its eitehr black woman with black man most of the time
 vanucks87
Joined: 6/12/2008
Msg: 14
asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 6/30/2008 5:46:20 PM
all i now is i noticed a lot of asian girls especially the cbcs ones or the asian girls who are born and raised in vancouver , canada that seem to be into only white guys. sometimes you can even tell by the way they talk -she seems very cbc -aka bananna(outspoken, opinonated and direct in some ways)

i have met some asian girls who prefer asian guys but msot of them are fobs just came here from asia like a couple of years ago.

is it true a lot of cbc asian girls who are westernized are like this now, all into white guys and will date and usually date white guys.

i find it kind of like a downer especially when ur single and looking for someone. its like more compettion lol
 vanucks87
Joined: 6/12/2008
Msg: 15
asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 6/30/2008 5:50:14 PM
well the indo cdn girls here in vancouver or most of them in surrey from what i see and also now most of them seem to stick with their own. i hardly would seee a indo cdn girl with a white guy-i mean it happens but not as often as the white guy and asian girls- its like so often now its like a common place.
i also hardly see indo cdn guy with whtie girls buit i have seen some
 MajorThomas
Joined: 2/10/2008
Msg: 16
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asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 6/30/2008 8:21:19 PM
Years of evolution, natural selection thats why asian men are so Nerdy. Act like an self confident ***hole in fuedal japan and youd get your head chopped off. Same in the Chinese court. You had to be a little more subtle then balls to the walls that american women love.

Modesty, Humbleness don't work in the US.
 leanco
Joined: 12/7/2006
Msg: 17
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asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 6/30/2008 8:45:23 PM
i have met some asian girls who prefer asian guys but msot of them are fobs just came here from asia like a couple of years ago.


Yeah, so? Beggars can't be choosers y'know.


I wouldn't quite put it that way.

It's not so much that the new immigrants (I hate the word "fob"...it's so derogatory!) have no choice and therefore are 'beggars'. They simply find it more comfortable to associate with those who share the same heritage and cultural background. There is nothing wrong with that. People generally hang around with those who they can identify with the most.
 leanco
Joined: 12/7/2006
Msg: 18
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asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 6/30/2008 9:50:23 PM
ah! my bad! I didn't get the impression that OP had that attitude at first, but now I see it. Yes, with such attitude, it's like the old saying, "what goes around comes around"
 Dumpling-Girl
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 19
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asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 6/30/2008 11:00:07 PM
Did anyone look up the YouTube video I mentioned yet? It's really good. Yellow Fever, by WongFu Productions. And I'm surprised no one commented on the likelihood of a small penis that I mentioned in my list. I would welcome someone to refute that one :)
 vanucks87
Joined: 6/12/2008
Msg: 20
asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 6/30/2008 11:33:03 PM
well i personally got to say i don't like the wm/af couples, its just so many of them. why dont htey just date white girls . i dont thik it would last anyways too differ culture and stuff, i be they get stared at a lot. well i do that to them.
 leanco
Joined: 12/7/2006
Msg: 21
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asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 7/1/2008 7:51:28 PM

how sad when parents have to teach prejudice to their children.


Indeed, how sad it is when parents have to teach prejudice to their children.

As I see it, one of the biggest problem (and I am talking about being Asians here) is that the parents don't care to educate the kids about their own culture and heritage. If more parents would take the time to do so, it would go a long way to counter the negative image that is so prevalent in our pop culture. The children may just grow up knowing that being an Asian is not something to be ashamed of; that one does not have to be "white" to be cool.
 vanucks87
Joined: 6/12/2008
Msg: 22
asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 7/1/2008 8:30:50 PM
not sure what kind of asian they are ,but in my chinese traditonal family we prefer chinese/asians.
jokes are always made around the table with us chinese folks about white ppl and how they are lazy bum. thsoe gwai lows
sounds to me your asian friends parents lack asian pride, and have self hate. with my friends who are asian and most of them are , its nothing like this. some of them even say racial stuff about white ppl. "its always the white ppl who ask the dumbest quesiotns"-my asian friend in comp sci
 richard233
Joined: 11/10/2006
Msg: 23
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asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 7/2/2008 11:13:54 PM

AmberRain , is the one who can't relate. She needs to really experience her own race.


We all date in our "race" the human race.
Race is an artifical label that was created for the purpose of excusing mistreatment
of groups because of another groups "superiority". There are superficial differences
between many groups of peoples, but most of the differences are due to culture,
not biology.

I have met people from many, many groups.
When I have met enough of them, I find there are still those that are taller/shorter,
thinner/fatter, smarter/less so, etc.

Once you actually know someone, these cease to be anything other than themselves.
 Paradise3921
Joined: 11/30/2004
Msg: 24
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asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 7/3/2008 9:40:17 AM
UCBerkMaiden, I find you are very attractive!
 richard233
Joined: 11/10/2006
Msg: 25
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asian girl who has never dated or had a asian bf before
Posted: 7/3/2008 12:18:50 PM

Asian males do NOT find me attractive, so I have only dated an Italian doctor for 12 years, and an Irish/Italian cop for 2 years... that's about it....


I find that a bit hard to believe.
I mean, I can understand someone not wanting a relationship with you if they
happened to want kids since you don't, but I can't think there would be too many
straight guys that would not find you attractive. Then again, maybe 14 years ago
you were going through an awkward stage? You met the doctor at 19? 18?
*shrug*

You ought to take a picture with you holding a sign saying, yes, I am UCBerkMaiden
or something. That would shut them up if they don't believe you are you.
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