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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > how do i let the bad boy types go?      Home login  
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 Frankycadillac
Joined: 5/1/2008
Msg: 2
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how do i let the bad boy types go?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I've read somewhere that women tend to conceive with the rowdy fellers, and settle down with the kind-hearted providing type.

maybe you gotta look deep and see if your truly ready to settle down.
an maybe put your own attraction aside and see if he can better the situation for your children
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 6
how do i let the bad boy types go?
Posted: 7/8/2008 12:58:48 PM
I'll play psychologist for a second here and hypothesize that women who are attracted to the ``bad boy'' type are attracted to some excitement that is otherwise missing in their lives. Find something tht interests you enough to be excited about it so that you appreciate someone being interested in what you find exciting.
 Frankycadillac
Joined: 5/1/2008
Msg: 8
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how do i let the bad boy types go?
Posted: 7/8/2008 1:11:58 PM
its a lack of fear
 Murf167
Joined: 9/7/2007
Msg: 12
how do i let the bad boy types go?
Posted: 7/8/2008 2:29:54 PM
I must also inquire, what about him is perfect? He sounds like a decent enough guy, but is 'decent' really enough to be attracted to? Someone asked above if he was a 'doormat', is he?

I don't think women are attracted to alpha males merely because of them being 'alpha', but because their self-confidence and capabilities make them appear to be better providers and more interesting people.

Others' mileage may vary, but I find it very difficult to control where my attractions fall. Honestly, I tend to be a bit more attracted to the somewhat trashy girls, myself.
 ca-soldier
Joined: 7/3/2008
Msg: 14
how do i let the bad boy types go?
Posted: 7/8/2008 4:02:11 PM
If your in here announcing that you CANT let them go, then you obvciously dont want to! You know for a fact this forum is going to attract more jerk offs, and drive all the real men and gentleman away!
 ca-soldier
Joined: 7/3/2008
Msg: 15
how do i let the bad boy types go?
Posted: 7/8/2008 4:03:54 PM
[Hmm.. alpha male attitude = bad boys.]

you have got to be kidding me!!!! alpha male will set a guy like this straight in a heartbeat!
 ca-soldier
Joined: 7/3/2008
Msg: 16
how do i let the bad boy types go?
Posted: 7/8/2008 4:39:00 PM
[He's nice looking and we get along famously (we have a blast)but there wasn't any chemistry there.]
condradtict yourself much?
 xeot
Joined: 10/25/2007
Msg: 18
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how do i let the bad boy types go?
Posted: 7/8/2008 4:44:46 PM

You dispel this myth that women grow out of the bad boy
preference!


I think the worst thing I was ever told dating wise was being told repeatedly that women would grow out of being attracted to what is being called "bad boys" in this thread.

To the thread at large... this confidence thing. These 'bad boys' really aren't any more confident on average then the 'nice' guys. What most of them do is put on a show. It's just a show. Like a bully does. You stand up to the bully and soon you find out he's a simpering wimp underneath the image he puts up. This is why many of these 'bad boys' are so abusive and worse. It's because they don't have any confidence in themselves. It's fake. It's a layer of paint over severe rust.

A personal for instance. I generally don't get jealous. Either a woman thinks I am good enough to be with or she doesn't. I have the confidence that I am good enough that she won't be lured away easily. I don't worry about it. A typical 'bad boy' type gets jealous, he's afraid a woman will leave him, he becomes very controlling over her. Yet the way I am is considered 'weak' but the 'bad boy' is strong and confident. Yet his motivation is entirely based on his lack of confidence. He has to have control by force (physical, emotional, or by shear will) because he doesn't have the confidence that she won't just leave him for the next guy that smiles at her. He's afraid. It's hidden under a show that is misinterpreted.

The abusive 'bad boy' isn't any better than the 'doormat'. They are the same. They are hiding their basic lack of confidence with the use of force on one hand and the use of material things and/or services on the other.

What is considered confidence in this society is usually just the image of it, not the real thing. The real thing is often much more subtle and not in your face.
 ca-soldier
Joined: 7/3/2008
Msg: 21
how do i let the bad boy types go?
Posted: 7/8/2008 5:16:00 PM
[Ah! But most of the alpha males I know are just a big pile of BS too! lol]
BINGO!!! typical bad boy ytpe!
 FluffyBrain
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 25
how do i let the bad boy types go?
Posted: 7/8/2008 9:50:03 PM
Rather than "letting" him go, perhaps you should give him a helpful push...right out of the door!!!

OK, OK.....the "bad boy" thing really amounts to slightly edgy, wicked flirtation. Those who pull it off best are also easy-going, slightly sweet, a tad self-deprecating, and confident (in a non-glaring way). That behavior highly attractive to women. I love it....sooooo sexy. Unfortunately, it sometimes comes attached to players. Not good...time to run. Luckily, however, some of the sincere guys also have the ability to flirt in this manner. On the other hand, a lot of the sincere guys just don't know how to pull this kind of flirtation off....practice, guys, practice....
 Marina3515
Joined: 2/22/2007
Msg: 26
how do i let the bad boy types go?
Posted: 7/9/2008 1:35:30 AM
You probably won't like to hear this but here I go. The problem is with you. You have low self worth and believe that you don't deserve better in life. Why eles would someone turn down a good prospect for a bad one. I also think you are a "bad girl" birds of a feather flock together. When someone treats you in a way that you can't return you reject them. My question is why is this nice guy with you????
 mthomjmark
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 27
how do i let the bad boy types go?
Posted: 7/9/2008 3:36:08 AM
i dont know you so the best thing to do is ask those closest to you.

In some instances women really are attracted to those that treat them poorly. Its pretty strange but I think it has to do with a lack of maturity for some women, along with poor decisions in relationships of the past.

Without knowing you I just dont know but I'd find out through those around you.
 lateef7842
Joined: 4/14/2008
Msg: 32
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how do i let the bad boy types go?
Posted: 7/12/2008 12:17:30 AM
This is going to be harsh, but you need to get some counseling. You're 30 with multiple children, and with the way your post reads, by different fathers. You are ruining their childhoods and they don't deserve that.YOU DO NOT EVER BRING A MAN AROUND YOUR BABIES UNTIL YOU ARE SURE YOU ARE GOING TO BE TOGETHER!

Get some help to figure out why you're still chasing Bad Boys and making such poor decisions. Make no mistake about it, you have issues. Ok, you like Bad Boys, fine. But what about you thinks it's OK to bring men around your children when you're not sure if you want to be with him? So, when you break up with this guy or cheat on him (more than likely both), you will not only break his heart, but your children's also. For the second time (including their fathers). Good job!

I know I'm being hard on you, but you have to understand what you're doing to your children. Especially the girls. Think of it this way; you are dooming them to be just like you. They will like Bad Boys just like you and be just as heart broken and lonely. Is that what you want for them?

When they're 18, you can have all the Bad Boy heart break you want. In the end, it is better that you are bored and alone, than to damage those innocent babies any more than you have.

Get professional help and grow up before you do permanent damage to your kids. And to anyone who feels this is OK for her to do, you should consider going to counseling with her. Maybe you guys can get group rates.

Lateef
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