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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Does enjoying this mean the man is bi or gay?      Home login  
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 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 3
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Does enjoying this mean the man is bi or gay?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
What's the need to fit people into neat and tidy compartments and label them?

There's a *new* term floating around in some circles... pansexual. Basically it means anything goes, they are open to any gender combination imaginable.

I was talking with one guy last night, and the topic of threesomes came up. He had participated in a 3some 3 or 4 times with an ex GF and a male friend of hers (who was bi). From the sounds of things she dominated all the action and the guy said that he enjoyed it. When I asked him if he found men attractive, he was adamant that he was not gay. When I talked to another guy friend of mine, who happens to be bi, his response was that this guy is a closet bi.

I think there are so many that do not accept someone's sexuality and there are still some stigmas attached to a man being bi or gay, moreso then a woman being bi or lesbian.

Red.. it does seem to me that you aren't open minded at all. Totally within your right. What are you so afraid of that you split the check and left as fast as possible?? Why not meet those other two at all??
 Krystall Love
Joined: 5/22/2008
Msg: 5
Does enjoying this mean the man is bi or gay?
Posted: 7/12/2008 10:47:01 AM
since i signed up here at POF about 2 months ago,i started reading some of threads on the forums.i have noticed many about bisexuals and/or homosexual activities among both sexes.about me,you can read my profile would be best,but in short i'm a bisexual male-to-female crossdresser.i have been invited and particiapted in many 3 and moresomes many times and have found many things happen in the heat of the moment.also i have been contacted by many straight men of all ages,income and professional levels,and both married and single.they all know what i am in the gender department.many want to either explore or experiment or are curious.they are not looking for any long term or relationship.and really i don't know if that would make them gay or even bi if they either never get past the talking stage or only do it once.
now when i'm in my male everyday life mode,being with or having sex with a guy is the furthest from my mind,only when i am Krystall is the only time i have thoughts or act out.there are some that say i am screwed up mentally,but i know exactly what i am or am doing at all times as i think i have some female hormones or "hard wiring" in me.i'm not a psyciatrist or even want to figure people out,but if you look at the animal kingdom as a whole,homosexuality runs rampant.many of the male species just need to release the urges and they do so with whatever willing is avalaible.
just my thoughts and 2 cents worth on the subject.

Krystall
 fetish4u
Joined: 4/18/2007
Msg: 6
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Does enjoying this mean the man is bi or gay?
Posted: 7/12/2008 1:29:27 PM
I can understand a sub wanting to please his Mistress but this would be a hard limit for me.No guys.I would believe this means he is gay or bi.We all have things we like and all is good but this isn't something I would want to do.
 hotwife4u
Joined: 4/30/2008
Msg: 8
Does enjoying this mean the man is bi or gay?
Posted: 7/12/2008 6:35:28 PM
Hi red

I never thought I would be attracted to a guy the did things with guys ether but I gave this one guy a shot. We talked a lot before I met him as he was serving in Afghanistan. I have to tell you he has made my life great He is the best I could have ever hope for. We do 3somes and he likes being the sub sometimes when we do and has one things for me to a guy. To me it was a turn on never thought it would be but it is.
We talk and never cheat on each other. The sex is great with him all the time.
As far as some of the other post that say a guy is not manly if they are sum to a lady.
Well my guy is vary manly. Was a cop was in the army, and is O so handsome and such a man.
Never heard of pansexual but I guess that would be true or tri sexual try anything once LOL
 supernovastunnah
Joined: 4/26/2008
Msg: 9
Does enjoying this mean the man is bi or gay?
Posted: 7/12/2008 8:25:22 PM
well its a sure sign he isnt straight thats for damn sure.
 Sunshyne276
Joined: 8/15/2007
Msg: 10
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Does enjoying this mean the man is?
Posted: 7/12/2008 8:31:17 PM
I would think it would mean he is bisexual, yes.
 Pleasurelimits
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 11
Does enjoying this mean the man is bi or gay?
Posted: 7/12/2008 11:38:34 PM
Western society particularly that of North America it seems has this pension for the dreaded 'gayness'. There needs to be the ability to separate gayness from pure sexual enjoyment. I am in no way bi or closet gay or any such thing one thing I personally find repulsive is the thought of kissing another man. However as far as sexuality goes anything that is enjoyed is fair game, though I would only ever indulge those enjoyments if a female was present. The thought of watching a girl get f***ed by a male while giving me a bj I find very erotic. Having said that and that I have been involved in MMF before I would not do it again only because I have been lucky enough to find the absolute love of my life and would not share her even for pure sexual enjoyment. I will try to fulfill all those desires myself.
 swingpup
Joined: 10/21/2006
Msg: 13
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Does enjoying this mean the man is bi or gay?
Posted: 7/13/2008 10:13:14 AM
Threesomes as well as more-somes being a MMF or a MFF even an orgy is much more common then what most would think. Some simply truly enjoy watching their female partner enjoy receiving sexual pleasure for either a male or female.

Oftentimes a threesome as in a MMF is something as simple but as satisfying as two males providing sexual pleasures to one woman. The males have no desire for interaction with each other, maybe bumping shoulders accidentally. Other occasions maybe a male simply watching as his partner is being pleased by a male.

Believe it or not some females also enjoy watching their male partner enjoy another female as well. Possibly they interact with the other female maybe not.

As the OP indicated in a MMF rendezvous some females do enjoy watching "contact" between the males via sucking or doing anal. Are the males Bi? That is a million dollar question. Even if done in the heat of passion by direction of a female that desires to view the activities?

If a label MUST be applied then my answer would be yes. What I would certainly commend here is that males have discussed this with her. Thus allowing her or any female to make a choice "to have sex or not" with this person(s).

Does it not revert back to communications as well as honesty being the best policy? Why yes it does.

What you and I may not do certainly doesn't make it wrong for someone else to indulge in such activities. What ever floats your as well as their boat as long as all involved are in total agreement and fully on the same page.
 parry10
Joined: 1/14/2006
Msg: 14
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Does enjoying this mean the man is bi or gay?
Posted: 7/14/2008 10:43:50 PM
I can't even think of how I'd possibly get horny with the presence of another male in the same room. It just doesn't register in my brain and seems so foreign.

I am repulsed with the male body and sometimes wonder what women even see in us. A naked guy looks wierd to me.

I'm happy to be a totally committed woman lover.
 AwP
Joined: 12/31/2006
Msg: 15
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Does enjoying this mean the man is bi or gay?
Posted: 7/15/2008 12:11:17 AM

Being gay means your emotions are for the same sex, not just sexually. Your heart will feel love for the same gender as you are. I've been married twice and have five kids between the two women, and am very masculine in nature. Only a small part of me likes being with the same sex.

I don't think anyone said that you were gay/homosexual, they've just been saying that you're bisexual.

Straights don't want same gender sex/emotions at all, gays don't want sex/emotions with the opposite gender at all. Bisexuals on the other hand, aren't an absolute, it's just basically "somewhere between gay and straight". You are bi, just leaning more towards women. If 1 was totally straight and 10 was totally gay, you'd be like a 3, closer to straight but not totally. It's not an insult to your manhood or anything despite what current culture says... in history a lot of bad-asses were bi.

On another note, what exactly is the difference between "pansexual" and "bisexual slut/manwhore"?
 DAVE632
Joined: 6/17/2006
Msg: 16
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Does enjoying this mean the man is bi or gay?
Posted: 7/15/2008 2:41:58 AM
YES. A straight / hetero is NOT going to be turned on at a butt poking by another guy no matter what the situation is.

""PANSEXUAL"" Ya, a guy gets near my butt and he'll be unconscious because he'll have a frying PAN up the side of the head.

If I'm in the sack and my partner has breasts but no penis then pretty much anything goes - anytime. I have no desire to be in bed with ANY other anatomically configured humans or even any combo.

SO yes. If a guy IS turned on by that they are at the very least BI.
 opnmydm
Joined: 3/23/2008
Msg: 17
Does enjoying this mean the man is bi or gay?
Posted: 7/15/2008 8:41:46 AM
if a man went down on another man for whatever reason, he has some bi tendancies, period..saying otherwise is like the old line"oral sex is not sex" crap...
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 18
Does enjoying this mean the man is bi or gay?
Posted: 7/15/2008 8:51:28 AM
I am not into 3somes, but I am in voyeurism! Some people are just sexual beings. The label--does it really matter? I find it sort of hott that a man could be so open, I HATE when men get all overblownly macho about seeing/touching/feeling another man's body (not necessarily in a sexual manner).
 deerdog1
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 19
Does enjoying this mean the man is bi or gay?
Posted: 7/15/2008 8:55:00 AM
he's queer as a three dollar bill
 AwP
Joined: 12/31/2006
Msg: 20
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Does enjoying this mean the man is bi or gay?
Posted: 7/16/2008 1:40:27 PM

Bravo, open-minded-1!! I was thinking the very same thing! Enough with the labels, already! Why must we attach a label to everything that we're not intimately (no pun intended) familiar with? Can't we just admit that some people are more experimental, or adventurous, or eager, etc. etc. etc. than others, and leave it at that?

I attach the label of "straight/heterosexual" to myself, am I not intimately familier with my own sexual habits? Sometimes it's helpful to have an idea of what direction the experiments/adventures are likely to lead. Just because you label something doesn't mean the label means something bad. You are a "woman", got a problem with that label?
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 21
Does enjoying this mean the man is bi or gay?
Posted: 7/16/2008 4:28:18 PM
OP, dont feel alone, I met a man last year, really liked him until he started wanting a threesome...really bothered me cause he was obsessed about it ...sayin it could be MMF or FMF, I was polite and thanked him for the offer but just had no desire for a threesome; however the idea of being with him and another man was a total turnoff...I never viewed him the same and he lost alot of his appeal to me.

I dont care what label you put on him...I just had no desire to be with a man who would also be with a man...doesnt matter if there is a physical, emotional or any other type of attraction to me it is a turn off.

If that makes me closed minded then fine...ill be closed minded...after all it is my mind.
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 24
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Does enjoying this mean the man is bi or gay?
Posted: 1/18/2010 5:15:18 AM
i had a very good friend for 17 years, a couple of years ago he came out and told me he was gay, it would never have come across my mind that he was to me he was,its true he has been living with a roomate for the past 12 years, who turned out to be his partner, but when we would go out women would hang all over him, but since that time i have really learned about gay men, they are very loyal to each other, he like me provided for his child, they both work hard,but one thing is for sure he is only attracted to men, the thought of heterosexuality is a gross thing to him, that is what being gay meens, you are only interested in your own sex, and not at all interested sexually to the opposite sex
bisexuals, i lived with a vi woman for years,she was not promiscuous, she had one female lover that she would get together with on occasion, so sexually she liked both
a man that only likes to have same sex, if a woman is also there, is by my reasoning not gat or bi, he might be pansexual,open minded,kinky, adventurous,one thing is for sure, you where very lucky to meet these men, because they where open and honest with you
so many people are cheating and betraying each other now a days, gays , bisexual and a hell of a lot of heterosexual
for me i do not care what your sexual preference is, (children and rapist do not qualify as preferences because they are acts of violence)as long as you are happy with who and what you are,it really does not concern me, you really do have to wonder how many men are latent bisexuals or gays, the way spots has become, some men would rather watch other men athletic men playing with each other, and other then a gay pride parade, there is more hugging as s slapping , passionate public hugging going on
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 25
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Does enjoying this mean the man is bi or gay?
Posted: 2/28/2010 9:29:27 AM
i think we live in a very homoerotic society,if you think about how 'into' professional sports most men are, women often joke they wont be seeing there men during any particular season, and hero worship, my god, the prices some men pay for a used hokey shirt!
now i am not by any meens suggesting that all men that are really into pro sports actually have homosexual experiences, its clear that they do not, but the truth is there is so much but slapping hugging,and otherwise erotic same sex behavior being shown at these sporting events, ... think about seeing men display the same behavior in the context of being out in the mall, or on the street,what would one think
i believe in the kinsley scale, and that most people are somewhere in the middle sexually,go to any club, and you will find young girls kissing and fondling each other, young men are very concerned about there appearance, for instance shaving all there body hair,20 years ago these men would have been considered gay,and they would have been harassed and probably labeled, they even have cosmetics for men
the amount of men that fantasize or follow through with having other men have sex with there wives and girlfriends is very common, not even considered kinky anymore really
thing are changing, they are changing very fast, 50 years ago masturbation, oral and anal sex was illegal or considered depraved, now its expected
 winteragain
Joined: 3/26/2009
Msg: 26
Does enjoying this mean the man is bi or gay?
Posted: 2/28/2010 9:44:00 AM
Absolutely gay. Just because he puts his penis inside your vagina doesn't make him heterosexual. Some gay men marry women for the family aspect while cheating on their wives because they can't marry other men and therefore can never have the real family that they've always wanted. But the penis is an odd thing. For some, it's an equal opportunity employer
 egboy
Joined: 4/2/2008
Msg: 27
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Does enjoying this mean the man is bi or gay?
Posted: 2/28/2010 10:18:34 AM
I have done FMF many times from the time I was 19. I have done MFM a few times and have never had sex with the other male. I was offered a coulpe of times but I don't have any feeling for men and refused. We still had a great time.
To the poster.
I'm not shure if your looking to do a 3 way. If you are how do you see it in your mind? If it's just the two guy's takeing care of you then make that happen it's your show. If it's you and the 2 guy's doing what ever happens happens then run it over in your mind and see how you react. You could rent a porn of ether and see how you react to them. You may change your mind or reenforce what you thought in the first place.
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