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 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 1
Bizarrely DangerousPage 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
How willing are people to put themselves in danger to get a date? Something happened to me yesterday that really makes me wonder.

I had lunch with a man from POF (no, he wasn't the danger); we didn't click, and after lunch, I went to a couple of places to shop. The first was Barnes & Noble where I chatted briefly with a man in Starbuck's while I drank an iced mocha, then left and went to Target. On leaving Target's parking lot, I noticed a note under my windshield wiper. Thinking someone had dented my car and left insurance info, I pulled off the road to retrieve the note.

It was an invitation to call or "come by" a man's motel room.

I had no intention of doing so, but my curiosity was piqued and I did call. What kind of man leaves a note on a windshield? Did he think I was a prostitute?

I called. He wanted me to come to his room to "have a soda." My curiosity did NOT extend that far! He said that he saw me in B & N but hadn't "exactly" followed me to Target.

Creepy.

How many women would have gone? Men, do you try to find dates like this???

Should I feel creeped out? I have had men try to pick me up from Wal-Mart to convenience stores, but nothing like this ever happened to me before.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 2
Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/14/2008 7:57:45 AM

why would you even consider calling ?


I am a writer, and everything is fodder for stories. I was, most simply put, curious. I blocked my ID when I called, and it went through the switchboard, so he wasn't going to call me back or trace me through my number.

It also makes me wonder, how many people watch us when we are never aware that they are doing so?
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 3
Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/14/2008 8:11:10 AM
~OP~ Ekkkk. How did he know what car you were driving? That screams ickiness to me. Not to mention dangerous for you or anyone else he comes into contact with. It's really easy in your particular state and in mine to run a public records search on auto license plates. (Awww, the glory of PO Boxes as addresses!) I don't know, personally, I wouldn't have called that number if I needed a hotel room ~ but that's just me.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 4
Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/14/2008 8:35:27 AM

. How did he know what car you were driving?


Yeah, how DID he know? I thought of that, as well. I don't have a P.O. box and I am sure he didn't follow me home because I live in a rural area where I would have seen a car following me.
 2ofcup
Joined: 5/11/2008
Msg: 5
Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/14/2008 9:41:41 AM
"You should have given the note and number to the nearest cop, it might be someone they are already looking for."




Bingo.



There is only one type of guy who would do something like that.
 ncdamsel
Joined: 10/1/2006
Msg: 6
Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/14/2008 9:49:47 AM
, that is scary, very scary, i would feel creeped out too
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 7
Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/14/2008 10:19:55 AM

Call the police, I don't think so, they wouldn't bother, there is nothing criminal about leaving a note.


I agree--it really wasn't a matter for the police. He didn't threaten me. It isn't against the law to be creepy.
 BWhoUR2
Joined: 3/3/2008
Msg: 8
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History
Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/14/2008 10:26:18 AM
Gadzooks, no! I would not have gone. Nor even called.
Creeped out? Yes!

I do believe calling the police would have been a good alternative. Especially after you did call him, knew where he was and he admitted to following you to Target. Creepy stalker guy. I'm sure the police would have had some questions for him, or at minimum would have made him feel uncomfortable enough to not do it again.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 9
Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/14/2008 10:37:32 AM

Think maybe he thought you were gorgeous and it's a compliment?


Truthfully, I was flattered, but the following part was what got me.

And I am not worried, but nothing like this has happned to me before, and not only was I curious about my "incident," but I am still curious about how often this takes place.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 10
Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/14/2008 10:49:44 AM

Yeah, how DID he know?

He may have seen you from the time you parked your car and followed you in or he's seen you before and knows what you drive? Either that or he ran a plate from some info he overheard you giving to a cashier. Outside of that, who knows.

On one hand the attention could be flattering, on the other hand it could be a bit over the top to be normal...and could give you the icks.

The world is truly a place that never ceases to amaze me.
 Lily0923
Joined: 5/28/2008
Msg: 11
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Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/14/2008 6:26:23 PM
You should have called an escort service and had a "professional" meet him at his room...

But hind site is always 20/20...
 whothehellknows
Joined: 7/23/2006
Msg: 12
Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/14/2008 6:44:56 PM

Creepy.
How many women would have gone? Men, do you try to find dates like this???
Should I feel creeped out? I have had men try to pick me up from Wal-Mart to convenience stores, but nothing like this ever happened to me before.


The fact that you called him makes me think if he had better conversation you may have met him.

Most people would have tossed the not and checked their rear view mirrors and taken all kinds of turns going home out of worry, not call the dude up and see what he had to say.
 TravelingHomebody
Joined: 6/7/2008
Msg: 13
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Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/14/2008 7:06:09 PM

You should have given the note and number to the nearest cop, it might be someone they are already looking for.


Ditto!
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 14
Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/14/2008 7:17:34 PM

Leaving a note because you think someone is hot is NOT criminal nor creepy in and of itself, in my book...its the hotel room invitation that makes it creepy/scary.


Bingo.

His story didn't match up--if I left B&N before him, I would have gotten to Target before him, so he wouldn't have seen my car, would he? And he was from out of town, so he wouldn't have seen me around.


I'm like you Gwendolyn...I like understanding "why"...Social Psychology fascinates me.....I too would have called, but from a blocked number, if only to get inside his head and at least learn whether he's actually dangeous to me or not


My number was blocked, and it went through the answering service at the motel. I don't understand people who don't want to find out "why." If the risk is calculated and measured, why not? Meeting him at his motel was measured "not smart" ; calling him was harmless.


The fact that you called him makes me think if he had better conversation you may have met him.


I spoke casually to several men in B&N--if he had been one of them, perhaps I would have met him in a public place, but not that night and not in his motel room.
 FortyFine44122
Joined: 2/9/2008
Msg: 15
Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/14/2008 8:04:38 PM

Truthfully, I was flattered

It was my first thought when I've read the story in the topic and !!!your profile

The fact that you called him makes me think if he had better conversation you may have met him.
Exactly

I think it's funny how you describe your experience...
 FortyFine44122
Joined: 2/9/2008
Msg: 16
Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/14/2008 8:14:12 PM

I don't understand people who don't want to find out "why."
WHY what? Why he wanted you to come to his motel? It's obvious.
There is no question about anything. There is open willingness to contonue communication despite provocative place - motel.

Any communication after such kind of invitation shows no respect for myself. Why would I find out WHY he wrote or WHAT he wanted. I'd try to make sure he's not following me in case of some freak

If I feel a danger I would behave accordingly. Here I see only curiousity and attempts to get to know him better. I don't think you felt any danger at all like oyu are trying to write. I don't just belive
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 17
Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/14/2008 8:21:56 PM

WHY what? Why he wanted you to come to his motel? It's obvious.


No, why a man would leave a note on a woman's car. What was he thinking? What did he think that I would think?


Why would I find out WHY he wrote or WHAT he wanted.


There are different types of people in the world--those who are curious about almost everything, and those who lack curiosity. The curious ones sail to the Americas; the ones who lack curiosity sit by the fire. The curious ones ask "why?" and try to find the answer. The non-curious ones only ask, "Why did you do that?"


I don't think you felt any danger at all like oyu are trying to write.


I don't believe I ever said that I felt that I was in danger--I said that I was creeped out. The point about the danger is my wonder if there are women who would have gone to his motel room.
 cbeyond
Joined: 12/21/2007
Msg: 18
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Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/14/2008 8:36:35 PM
I have a solution for you --- NORDSTROM ! Forget that creepy Target ! LOL
As for the note - though it away and forget about !
:) :)
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 19
Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/14/2008 8:50:10 PM

I have a solution for you --- NORDSTROM ! Forget that creepy Target !




The note has been tucked away--I will use the wording in a story. By now, I am more amused than anything else. I am also amused at how some people are reacting to my little tale of almost misadventure.

To the retired cop, even though it was creepy, he didn't really do anything "wrong."
 Happily Ever...maybe
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 20
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Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/14/2008 10:18:51 PM
Wow, that is creepy in the extreme! Like you said OP, he didn't necessarily do anything wrong, other than show a complete lack of class, manners and social skills. What women in her right mind would possibly say OK to an offer like that!? I do like how your mind works though, and the curiosity to call him and ask him what his story was; now that part is funny!

You'd think that most normal people, if they encountered somebody interesting while out in public, would just go up and introduce themselves; I know I do it all the time, and sometimes it turns out very well, although its never ended back in a hotel room...lol An anonymous note on the windshield however, with a sexually suggestive invite to his room no less, is a sign of a deranged person.
 almostavgjoe
Joined: 3/10/2007
Msg: 21
Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/15/2008 6:26:20 AM
My own thoughts are that if he actually had an intent to harm anyone, he wouldn't have left evidence of his whereabouts on your windshield. If he truly was a pycho, he would be much more careful. Had he had any malicious intentions, the note would almost ensure a conviction and his next room would be in a state facility.

I agree that the invite back to his room was the height of tackiness, why not just leave the phone number? That could be considered romantic, not threatening.

This whole 'worshipping from afar' has gone on since shortly after Adam and Eve, and I imagine it will continue. It's our rather free society and technology that allows the worshippers to keep their identity secret, and that is likely what disturbs us. Shy guys aren't hiding behind an oak tree in the park, or sneaking a peak in the library anymore, we have the internet instead.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 22
Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/15/2008 7:56:17 AM

I think there was a technical glitch in the plot line.


I don't know what the glitch is--caller ID is easy to block, and when I was getting my MA, I worked as a desk clerk. When a call is transferred to a room, the guest can't hit "star 69" and trace a call, though the clerk can.


My own thoughts are that if he actually had an intent to harm anyone, he wouldn't have left evidence of his whereabouts on your windshield.


Almostavgjoe, I agree--a guy who leaves his whereabouts doesn't sound psycho. He proved to be creepy, yes, but crazy, I don't think so. Still, the consequences of meeting a man at his motel could have been bad. Heck, when I go out on a date with a man from POF, especially if it is someone who is from out of town, I write down all the information (name, phone) and leave it on the refrigerator--just in case.

If he had approached me in the store, I wonder how I would have responded? I doubt that he would have said, "Hey, come back to my room with me." That is one reason why the suggestion over the phone seemed so bizarre.

I was not offended that he left the note. Ya know, we dress up when we go into public places (or some of us do); we try to look our best--it would be contradictory to get upset because people then "admire" us!
 cowtrucker
Joined: 5/20/2007
Msg: 23
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Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/15/2008 11:36:42 AM
I drive a semi truck for a living. I'm in solitary places late at night on a regular basis, and crowded truck stops while fueling or picking up parts and such.

When I walk, I carry myself in a manner which lets the men watch, but gives them the hint that I'm not someone they want to make the slightest approach on. Most see that, and I usually get left alone.

As for calling the guy on the paper? If it were me, I would have just taken it as a compliment that someone was interested, and tossed the note into the nearest trash can, and ended it right there...

CowTrucker
Chapman, Kansas
 msflis
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 24
Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/15/2008 12:03:49 PM

Heck, when I go out on a date with a man from POF, especially if it is someone who is from out of town, I write down all the information (name, phone) and leave it on the refrigerator--just in case.


OP, you might be better served by sending that info in an e-mail to a friend. In the worst-case scenario, you're overcome by the man, who then has your house keys and address and can easily dispose of that note on the refrigerator...

The only guy who ever left a note on my car worked in the business next door to my job, and it turned out his coworkers did it for him because he was too shy. He was embarrassed when I came in, curious to see who had written it--but not so embarrassed that we didn't ever go out!

--Ms. Flis
 thatswhatshesaid
Joined: 12/28/2007
Msg: 25
Bizarrely Dangerous
Posted: 7/15/2008 5:22:36 PM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^you are very naive.
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