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 Inner strength
Joined: 12/19/2007
Msg: 1
What do men want ???? Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
So I went to the Beach Club last nite Friday ! for the POF get together .......kind of strange didnt really see anyone that looked like they were their for the outing .... oH ya ...seen the guy with the fish for a moment ...then he went to watch the firer dancers ..and that was it ...so what happaned ???? and what are men looking for ..... a Barbie doll????
everyone says they are looking for women with a head on their shoulders ...but than you try and have a conversation with them ....they want photos first ....I know that you want your parener or friend to be presentable ....but we are all getting a little older ....guys take a look in the mirror ! I know I am probably being a little harsh ...but wake up and smell the coffee!
speaking of coffee..I could use a cup !
any comments !....
 1cath1
Joined: 7/5/2008
Msg: 2
What do men want ????
Posted: 7/19/2008 9:20:13 AM
Men want attractive women. Bottom line.
It's a rare man indeed who'll respond to a profile with no photo.
And due to the lawlessness of the internet and it's attraction to those who have no problem lying about their weight or physical appearance - good luck getting a man to meet without a photo first.

God bless 'em, they're 'visual' creatures. :) That's the part you don't have any control over.
But women CAN make up for what they might be lacking in the looks department with a positive attitude about yourself. Men pick up on confidence and respond to it favorably. That's the part you can control.

As for the guys here for whom looks are everything - don't give them a second thought. Move on and be thankful you're not attracted to THEM either. :)
 SweetBabyblues
Joined: 6/17/2006
Msg: 3
What do men want ????
Posted: 7/19/2008 9:37:53 AM
Inner

I was going to comment lol but I think I'll just back out of this thread

Good one though and it will be interesting to see if some of the male POF population responds.
 Inner strength
Joined: 12/19/2007
Msg: 4
What do men want ????
Posted: 7/19/2008 9:43:20 AM
I was not being critical .....its that I would like to meet someone ....and because of my job I dont want to post a picture ....but i will email one ....
and I know that their has to be a mutual attraction ...like if you see someone across the room and your eyers lock for a moment and that little smile ......
But I guess we all have to be careful ...and I try not try not to exaggerate the truth ..because if you met that person you can see exactaly what they look like and the way they described themselves ,you have put an image to that ...and its not always true....
But ..you men ,know what women want ..... just ask Mel Gibson !!! so does anyone else have a comment ...or am I being silly or delusional ?
 haywiresue
Joined: 9/27/2006
Msg: 5
What do men want ????
Posted: 7/19/2008 9:44:41 AM
I agree that men are visual creatures and men - like women, all find different things that appeal to them. I think some of the frustration that is created on the internet, is that you see a buffet of potential partners and people forget that dating is a numbers game. Not all men or women like the same things, so its about connecting with a possible match.

My men friends have given me some very important advice on men. They have said that a man first needs the physical attraction, and no not every man wants a Barbie doll. Different men find different characteristics and different women appealing. Once the physical interest is there, the man then is interested in the personality, lifestyle, intellegence, and interests of the woman. In short, one of my men friends said that a man who is serious about finding and dating just one person, is interested in being seen with someone he finds attractive, who is nice and he can enjoy doing things with.

My personal thought is that some of the men online, are not interested in finding that one special person, regardless of what their profile says. Take time and find out what each man you meet is after, and be smart and honest with yourself about it. I laugh at the guys who contact me, we chat and then when you think "hmmmm....not bad, this is interesting", then "poof" they vanish. Then a few weeks or a month later, they contact me and say they want to keep in touch. My thoughts are dont waste my time buddy, I'm not list material - you either are interested in me or not. Ladies, if you dont make yourself list available - you wont be treated as such. To me, a man who does that is not one I am interested in dating. I think its easy to cut throught the numbers this way, by having a personal criteria and knowing what you want from a man. I think too many women, are afraid to drop a guy, or say "I dont appreicate that you are not interested enough to continue getting to know me. Your actions have made me feel like you are keeping your options open, and that does not impress me." I tell the man at that point that I am no longer interested in continuing. To me you get one change to make a good first impression and till we meet in person all the correspondence is part of that first impression. I have been called a b!tch, and told that I am too picky. Well, if I have to settle for someone who will not be respectful, then I wear that badge of B!TCH very proudly....................
 Inner strength
Joined: 12/19/2007
Msg: 6
What do men want ????
Posted: 7/19/2008 10:40:28 AM
You have made some very important comments.... thank you !
is there any men that would like to make some comments?
 passionandsong
Joined: 10/9/2007
Msg: 7
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What do men want ????
Posted: 7/19/2008 11:04:29 AM
i met my wife on here.she did not have a pic.i soon found that women who did not post a pic much more grounded and less self serving.dont look at the amount of responses you get.think of the qualities a man has who would message you without seeing you.although you must have enough self esteem to handle physical rejection.just so happens that is a quality i was looking for in a mate.
 _Steamer_
Joined: 4/29/2005
Msg: 8
What do men want ????
Posted: 7/19/2008 11:08:32 AM

and what are men looking for ..... a Barbie doll????


Every man has his own preferences, but I think the majority of men prefer women with slim to medium builds. In "Internet Dating Site language" most men will interpret a body type of a few extra pounds and no picture to mean a larger woman.

Physical attraction is important to most men. This is why we want to see a picture. There are other things we want, but if you are not attracted, there isn't going to be a romantic relationship.

Women have preferences, too. When I was looking, I saw profiles saying the women were not interested in men below a certain height, or men that are balding or have facial hair. There was even a post about a year ago from a woman who said don't bother contacting her unless your penis was in the top 10% in size.

Regarding the Baja get together, there were about 40-50 people there between 5:00 and 8:00 when we left. This is more of an after work thing and people either head home or to a bar later for the rest of the evening.
 justme-2u
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 9
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What do men want ????
Posted: 7/19/2008 1:02:31 PM

met my wife on here.she did not have a pic.i soon found that women who did not post a pic much more grounded and less self serving.dont look at the amount of responses you get.think of the qualities a man has who would message you without seeing you.although you must have enough self esteem to handle physical rejection.just so happens that is a quality i was looking for in a mate.


WHAT? You are kidding about women who don't post a pic being more grounded and less self serving??? How is it when a male doesn't post a pic he has something to hide..?? But a woman is more grounded and LESS self serving??? Pullleeeeeeeeeeeese! That is a totally judgemental statement....Lot's of people men and women do not post pictures..I can totally understand that...some people are afraid and do not want their face plastered all over the internet for whatever reason...that is their perogative....



I totally agree with compactdisc - BOTH sexes are guilty of doing this...and both sexes are equally as quilty of playing games!! WE ALL know this...admitting it is probably difficult for some to

Besides that....most people don't read the profiles and absorb what is said anyhow...or I wouldn't be getting so many emails from youngen's and senior citizens...hehehe..
 passionandsong
Joined: 10/9/2007
Msg: 10
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What do men want ????
Posted: 7/19/2008 3:42:18 PM
WHAT? You are kidding about women who don't post a pic being more grounded and less self serving??? How is it when a male doesn't post a pic he has something to hide..?? But a woman is more grounded and LESS self serving??? Pullleeeeeeeeeeeese! That is a totally judgemental statement....Lot's of people men and women do not post pictures..I can totally understand that...some people are afraid and do not want their face plastered all over the internet for whatever reason...that is their perogative....

how was i judging by stating my experience?i dont know why or if it seems men that dont post pics are hiding.i didnt date men.i did however find it quite easy to weed out the women hiding something and those that werent.of the ones that werent,i met a more palitable women than ones with pics.not judging,just my experience.
 Inner strength
Joined: 12/19/2007
Msg: 11
What do men want ????
Posted: 7/19/2008 4:03:35 PM
So how does the picture arguing,or comments tie into my Question about what do men want ??????/
I would really ,sincerely would like to know ,I would like to spend some time with one of them or meet them!......
I havent won a ugly contest or do ntI need a bag over my head or body ......I am a few pounds overweight ....but than I thought ..by who"s standards....
I am sort of comfortable with my body... I am working at losing some lbs ,but for me .. I walk 8kilms a day ....in the winter ,I know I could go to the gym ....but......
so I guess this does not answer my ??????about what men want?
I know a lot of people viewed this comment ...and some had to be men ! so WHATS YOUR COMMENT?????
 thorndyke
Joined: 11/5/2005
Msg: 12
What do men want ????
Posted: 7/19/2008 4:52:12 PM
Faster cars
Younger women
Older whiskey
More money
 printer2
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 13
What do men want ????
Posted: 7/19/2008 6:29:00 PM
If all men wanted the same thing the answer would be easy. A Barbie doll.

Think about it like vehicles. Some guys are truck guys, 4x4 jacked up big tires and all. Some guys need their corvette, some just want to drive as cheaply as possible. Some just like to kick the tires, some trade in their model for a different one after that new car smell is gone.

But more than not most men and women want the same thing. The all have preferences for physical attraction. It is said that women will go for a man that is not very attractive if they have an attractive personality. A little secret for you here, it works the other way around also. I recall a few women that I would not have looked twice at if it were not for their personality. And then there were others that I looked twice at until their personality came out.

For anything long term everybody wants someone that they can relate to. Someone they feel comfortable with and laugh at the same things. But to get there something that you have has to capture the other person.

While some of us older ones need to look at what we are and what is out there in realistic terms you also have to realize something else about the older folk. We have all been there before and quite a few are quite ok with being on their own. A lot are looking just in case that special someone comes around.

Now if you are concerned about not being hounded by hoards of men on here knocking on your door my answer is quite simple. Life is not fair, the women on here are not hounding me either.
 wpghockeyguy77
Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 14
What do men want ????
Posted: 7/19/2008 6:58:57 PM
its a fact of life and many studies by scientists back up this that physical attraction is the first thing that starts the attraction for both sexes. we are both engineered that way. men are visual, women cerebral. personality can add or subtract to the visual physical factor.

there are many profiles where women and men are listing their physical preferences
and other preferences such as, no bald men, no facial hair, athletic, tall, short, must enjoy dancing or fine dining. Travel, the beach, cabin, fishing etc.
 printer2
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 15
What do men want ????
Posted: 7/19/2008 7:30:34 PM


men are visual, women cerebral

Hey quit picking on the women.
 wpghockeyguy77
Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 16
What do men want ????
Posted: 7/19/2008 7:44:41 PM
thats not picking on women its the truth
 MyKidsDad66
Joined: 4/1/2006
Msg: 17
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What do men want ????
Posted: 7/19/2008 8:37:37 PM
From a first impression perspective, we are all visual creatures so a picture really does help to catch your attention and make you consider taking a second look at a profile. If your work situation does not make it convenient for you to post photos, then make that abundantly clear in your headline or at the top of your profile in bold letters. Men are shallow and if there is no picture, the immediate thought is "she's fugly". But, I know that if I read at the top of the profile that the lady cannot post pictures for whatever reason, then I continue reading the profile.

Once you have met someone, I think that common interests, common values, laughter and a sense of equality are essential in a partnership.

Update:
I just read the original poster's profile and I think that you will have more success if you spend the time to actually use the spell checker rather than joking about it. Your profile is your opportunity to put your best foot forward and is your chance to make that first impression. Don't squander it.
 Kim_42
Joined: 5/12/2008
Msg: 18
What do men want ????
Posted: 7/20/2008 12:17:50 AM
If this is a topic on people posting pics on the profile, I have a comment on that.

I knew someone on here that had his profile stating "must have a picture to contact this user" so without a picture a woman could not message him, meanwhile he had no picture on his profile of him so that was I guess a double standard. He doesn't have his pic posted but he won't let anyone message him unless they had their picture posted.
 printer2
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 19
What do men want ????
Posted: 7/20/2008 2:13:35 AM
The funny thing about people is people are funny.
 theory
Joined: 7/7/2008
Msg: 20
What do men want ????
Posted: 7/20/2008 7:16:50 AM
I would love you if I was not married to a man just like you. lol book store a babe thats where I find them
 justme-2u
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 21
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What do men want ????
Posted: 7/20/2008 9:02:32 AM
Printer2.....AGREED totally!! Nobody better be kickin MY tires...let me tell ya!!! hahahahaha

The arguing over pictures came from your initial post where you asked:


everyone says they are looking for women with a head on their shoulders ...but than you try and have a conversation with them ....they want photos first ....I know that you want your parener or friend to be presentable ....but we are all getting a little older ....guys take a look in the mirror !
Further you are asking.."if all they want is a "Barbie Doll"" isn't that statement all about looks?

The bottom line is, everyone has preferences....and the initial attraction is the beginning of the process...but we all know it's the personality, values, common ground and the respect people show us that is the true indicator of whether or not there will be any kind of connection made.....be it a romantic union or just a friendship. But there has to be a start....and yes the physical traits are huge initially....How many profiles do we see on here that state "Hi there! I'm looking for a short fat balding man with no job, who will use and abuse me, sit around on his lazy a$$ while I fetch him copious amounts of cheap beer?" or if you are a man "Hi there I'm looking for a butt ugly, overweight woman with no brains, who can cook like my momma, clean like the white tornado, and can scratch my itch on command. Must be a work horse by day and shape shift into horny little sex kitten by night..." Seriously.

I think the POF gatherings are a great way to initially meet other POFer's ....getting together as a bunch of friends, finding out about each other in a larger social context rather than meeting one on one at a coffee shop..can be a lot less intimidating for some... getting out and mingling, being around other people, having fun, letting others see your playful side is ALL good....so I would not give up on the POF functions, Inner strength......regardless the POF functions are an opportunity .... as is the POF site, profiles etc...an opportunity to make a connection... Having said that however, I don't think I would expect to go to a "Gathering of the FISH" and hope to come home with a keeper first time out.. Ya may have to throw a few back in.... :)

passionandsong, when I made the statement about men who don't have pictures posted - having something to hide....*I* do not believe this...but that idea has been presented in a number of other posts....however, until your post I have never heard "women who DO put up pictures are less grounded and self serving" I'm sorry but your post offended me BIG TIME! Putting up a "truthful" pic and writing a "honest profile" in my opinion is saying, *I* am comfortable in my own skin....here I am....what you see is what you get....I am confident...I AM serious about finding someone, and I want my cards on the table....and THESE are the characteristics I would like in a LIFE Partner.....shootin' from the hip is the best policy in my opinion.
 passionandsong
Joined: 10/9/2007
Msg: 22
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What do men want ????
Posted: 7/20/2008 9:13:45 AM
passionandsong, when I made the statement about men who don't have pictures posted - having something to hide....*I* do not believe this...but that idea has been presented in a number of other posts....however, until your post I have never heard "women who DO put up pictures are less grounded and self serving" I'm sorry but your post offended me BIG TIME! Putting up a "truthful" pic and writing a "honest profile" in my opinion is saying, *I* am comfortable in my own skin....here I am....what you see is what you get....I am confident...I AM serious about finding someone, and I want my cards on the table....and THESE are the characteristics I would like in a LIFE Partner.....shootin' from the hip is the best policy in my opinion.

sorry dear,but i found that the ladies that didnt put up pics were perfectly willing to give you one immediately after you showed interest.in fact they were far more confident because they had no problem handling physical rejection.it became quite obvios that they had nothing to hide.they just wanted someone to be interested in their interests first.i found that admirable and secure.
 witty_
Joined: 9/29/2007
Msg: 23
What do men want ????
Posted: 7/20/2008 10:09:06 AM
hmm........ rethinks what I wrote


edit - OT........... men want what women want..... the perfect mate. Whether that is possible or not, is the question.
 romanticoptimist
Joined: 10/1/2007
Msg: 24
What do men want ????
Posted: 7/20/2008 10:14:06 AM

WHAT? You are kidding about women who don't post a pic being more grounded and less self serving??? How is it when a male doesn't post a pic he has something to hide..?? But a woman is more grounded and LESS self serving??? Pullleeeeeeeeeeeese! That is a totally judgemental statement....Lot's of people men and women do not post pictures.

I agree. All this thread seems to have done so far is play "name the assumptions". The only reason a person doesn't have a picture is the reason THEY decided not to have a picture. Nobody has any special insights into why someone else didn't have a picture. No studies have been made. No results have been found. It's like the "players don't attend POF events" statement made in another thread. 100% BS. Well, it's also let some people air some obvious grievances about how they feel about "them" (whoever "them" are) and have a bit of a whine at life.

Here's the thing: If you have a picture (male or female) you have a much higher number of people who view you, a much higher number of people who contact you, and a much higher number of possibles.
If you have an old picture (or one of your cuter brother/sister or friend) you're much more likelier to experience a "WTF???" look at the first coffee meeting followed by no call back. Take the silence personal. It's because you're dishonest!
If your profile is poorly written and cluttered with errors and difficult to read because of sloppy writing, spelling, grammar, and an inability to communicate simple thoughts and ideas, it's going to be much less interesting than one that has been well thought out and well-written.
If you're "older", and all other things are equal, you're not going to generate as much interest as you would if you were "younger". And that's regardless of gender. If you're overweigh/heavier, the same applies. This isn't about "anorexic bimbos", "Barbie dolls", and "real women". It's about simple facts. Some women like X, some Y, but most like Z. Some men like X, some Y, but most like Z. If you're not Z, whatever it is, accept that and don't be critical of the group for choosing that preference, or the individual who have it more than the rest for having it.

The bottom line is, love you for who you are. Present that person well, and you'll cross paths with someone who loves you for that person. And those you meet that don't? They're just not into you. And they're just not right for you. They're not bad. They're just different.

Peace
 _Steamer_
Joined: 4/29/2005
Msg: 25
What do men want ????
Posted: 7/20/2008 10:44:58 AM
I agree with most of what RO is saying, especially the WTF moment of meeting someone who looks nothing like their pics or description. That behaviour doesn't deserve even the consideration of staying for a 10 minute coffee.


If you're "older", and all other things are equal, you're not going to generate as much interest as you would if you were "younger". And that's regardless of gender.


I know that this is not true for me. I don't feel that I would have enough in common with someone even 8 - 10 years younger than me to sustain a relationship. I was 52 when I joined the site and I set my search criteria to the 46-56 range.
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