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 Inner strength
Joined: 12/19/2007
Msg: 1
What do men want ???? Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
So I went to the Beach Club last nite Friday ! for the POF get together .......kind of strange didnt really see anyone that looked like they were their for the outing .... oH ya ...seen the guy with the fish for a moment ...then he went to watch the firer dancers ..and that was it ...so what happaned ???? and what are men looking for ..... a Barbie doll????
everyone says they are looking for women with a head on their shoulders ...but than you try and have a conversation with them ....they want photos first ....I know that you want your parener or friend to be presentable ....but we are all getting a little older ....guys take a look in the mirror ! I know I am probably being a little harsh ...but wake up and smell the coffee!
speaking of coffee..I could use a cup !
any comments !....
 1cath1
Joined: 7/5/2008
Msg: 2
What do men want ????
Posted: 7/19/2008 9:20:13 AM
Men want attractive women. Bottom line.
It's a rare man indeed who'll respond to a profile with no photo.
And due to the lawlessness of the internet and it's attraction to those who have no problem lying about their weight or physical appearance - good luck getting a man to meet without a photo first.

God bless 'em, they're 'visual' creatures. :) That's the part you don't have any control over.
But women CAN make up for what they might be lacking in the looks department with a positive attitude about yourself. Men pick up on confidence and respond to it favorably. That's the part you can control.

As for the guys here for whom looks are everything - don't give them a second thought. Move on and be thankful you're not attracted to THEM either. :)
 SweetBabyblues
Joined: 6/17/2006
Msg: 3
What do men want ????
Posted: 7/19/2008 9:37:53 AM
Inner

I was going to comment lol but I think I'll just back out of this thread

Good one though and it will be interesting to see if some of the male POF population responds.
 Inner strength
Joined: 12/19/2007
Msg: 4
What do men want ????
Posted: 7/19/2008 9:43:20 AM
I was not being critical .....its that I would like to meet someone ....and because of my job I dont want to post a picture ....but i will email one ....
and I know that their has to be a mutual attraction ...like if you see someone across the room and your eyers lock for a moment and that little smile ......
But I guess we all have to be careful ...and I try not try not to exaggerate the truth ..because if you met that person you can see exactaly what they look like and the way they described themselves ,you have put an image to that ...and its not always true....
But ..you men ,know what women want ..... just ask Mel Gibson !!! so does anyone else have a comment ...or am I being silly or delusional ?
 haywiresue
Joined: 9/27/2006
Msg: 5
What do men want ????
Posted: 7/19/2008 9:44:41 AM
I agree that men are visual creatures and men - like women, all find different things that appeal to them. I think some of the frustration that is created on the internet, is that you see a buffet of potential partners and people forget that dating is a numbers game. Not all men or women like the same things, so its about connecting with a possible match.

My men friends have given me some very important advice on men. They have said that a man first needs the physical attraction, and no not every man wants a Barbie doll. Different men find different characteristics and different women appealing. Once the physical interest is there, the man then is interested in the personality, lifestyle, intellegence, and interests of the woman. In short, one of my men friends said that a man who is serious about finding and dating just one person, is interested in being seen with someone he finds attractive, who is nice and he can enjoy doing things with.

My personal thought is that some of the men online, are not interested in finding that one special person, regardless of what their profile says. Take time and find out what each man you meet is after, and be smart and honest with yourself about it. I laugh at the guys who contact me, we chat and then when you think "hmmmm....not bad, this is interesting", then "poof" they vanish. Then a few weeks or a month later, they contact me and say they want to keep in touch. My thoughts are dont waste my time buddy, I'm not list material - you either are interested in me or not. Ladies, if you dont make yourself list available - you wont be treated as such. To me, a man who does that is not one I am interested in dating. I think its easy to cut throught the numbers this way, by having a personal criteria and knowing what you want from a man. I think too many women, are afraid to drop a guy, or say "I dont appreicate that you are not interested enough to continue getting to know me. Your actions have made me feel like you are keeping your options open, and that does not impress me." I tell the man at that point that I am no longer interested in continuing. To me you get one change to make a good first impression and till we meet in person all the correspondence is part of that first impression. I have been called a b!tch, and told that I am too picky. Well, if I have to settle for someone who will not be respectful, then I wear that badge of B!TCH very proudly....................
 Inner strength
Joined: 12/19/2007
Msg: 6
What do men want ????
Posted: 7/19/2008 10:40:28 AM
You have made some very important comments.... thank you !
is there any men that would like to make some comments?
 Inner strength
Joined: 12/19/2007
Msg: 7
What do men want ????
Posted: 7/19/2008 4:03:35 PM
So how does the picture arguing,or comments tie into my Question about what do men want ??????/
I would really ,sincerely would like to know ,I would like to spend some time with one of them or meet them!......
I havent won a ugly contest or do ntI need a bag over my head or body ......I am a few pounds overweight ....but than I thought ..by who"s standards....
I am sort of comfortable with my body... I am working at losing some lbs ,but for me .. I walk 8kilms a day ....in the winter ,I know I could go to the gym ....but......
so I guess this does not answer my ??????about what men want?
I know a lot of people viewed this comment ...and some had to be men ! so WHATS YOUR COMMENT?????
 printer2
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 8
What do men want ????
Posted: 7/19/2008 6:29:00 PM
If all men wanted the same thing the answer would be easy. A Barbie doll.

Think about it like vehicles. Some guys are truck guys, 4x4 jacked up big tires and all. Some guys need their corvette, some just want to drive as cheaply as possible. Some just like to kick the tires, some trade in their model for a different one after that new car smell is gone.

But more than not most men and women want the same thing. The all have preferences for physical attraction. It is said that women will go for a man that is not very attractive if they have an attractive personality. A little secret for you here, it works the other way around also. I recall a few women that I would not have looked twice at if it were not for their personality. And then there were others that I looked twice at until their personality came out.

For anything long term everybody wants someone that they can relate to. Someone they feel comfortable with and laugh at the same things. But to get there something that you have has to capture the other person.

While some of us older ones need to look at what we are and what is out there in realistic terms you also have to realize something else about the older folk. We have all been there before and quite a few are quite ok with being on their own. A lot are looking just in case that special someone comes around.

Now if you are concerned about not being hounded by hoards of men on here knocking on your door my answer is quite simple. Life is not fair, the women on here are not hounding me either.
 wpghockeyguy77
Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 9
What do men want ????
Posted: 7/19/2008 6:58:57 PM
its a fact of life and many studies by scientists back up this that physical attraction is the first thing that starts the attraction for both sexes. we are both engineered that way. men are visual, women cerebral. personality can add or subtract to the visual physical factor.

there are many profiles where women and men are listing their physical preferences
and other preferences such as, no bald men, no facial hair, athletic, tall, short, must enjoy dancing or fine dining. Travel, the beach, cabin, fishing etc.
 printer2
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 10
What do men want ????
Posted: 7/19/2008 7:30:34 PM


men are visual, women cerebral

Hey quit picking on the women.
 wpghockeyguy77
Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 11
What do men want ????
Posted: 7/19/2008 7:44:41 PM
thats not picking on women its the truth
 Kim_42
Joined: 5/12/2008
Msg: 12
What do men want ????
Posted: 7/20/2008 12:17:50 AM
If this is a topic on people posting pics on the profile, I have a comment on that.

I knew someone on here that had his profile stating "must have a picture to contact this user" so without a picture a woman could not message him, meanwhile he had no picture on his profile of him so that was I guess a double standard. He doesn't have his pic posted but he won't let anyone message him unless they had their picture posted.
 printer2
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 13
What do men want ????
Posted: 7/20/2008 2:13:35 AM
The funny thing about people is people are funny.
 theory
Joined: 7/7/2008
Msg: 14
What do men want ????
Posted: 7/20/2008 7:16:50 AM
I would love you if I was not married to a man just like you. lol book store a babe thats where I find them
 witty_
Joined: 9/29/2007
Msg: 15
What do men want ????
Posted: 7/20/2008 10:09:06 AM
hmm........ rethinks what I wrote


edit - OT........... men want what women want..... the perfect mate. Whether that is possible or not, is the question.
 romanticoptimist
Joined: 10/1/2007
Msg: 16
What do men want ????
Posted: 7/20/2008 10:14:06 AM

WHAT? You are kidding about women who don't post a pic being more grounded and less self serving??? How is it when a male doesn't post a pic he has something to hide..?? But a woman is more grounded and LESS self serving??? Pullleeeeeeeeeeeese! That is a totally judgemental statement....Lot's of people men and women do not post pictures.

I agree. All this thread seems to have done so far is play "name the assumptions". The only reason a person doesn't have a picture is the reason THEY decided not to have a picture. Nobody has any special insights into why someone else didn't have a picture. No studies have been made. No results have been found. It's like the "players don't attend POF events" statement made in another thread. 100% BS. Well, it's also let some people air some obvious grievances about how they feel about "them" (whoever "them" are) and have a bit of a whine at life.

Here's the thing: If you have a picture (male or female) you have a much higher number of people who view you, a much higher number of people who contact you, and a much higher number of possibles.
If you have an old picture (or one of your cuter brother/sister or friend) you're much more likelier to experience a "WTF???" look at the first coffee meeting followed by no call back. Take the silence personal. It's because you're dishonest!
If your profile is poorly written and cluttered with errors and difficult to read because of sloppy writing, spelling, grammar, and an inability to communicate simple thoughts and ideas, it's going to be much less interesting than one that has been well thought out and well-written.
If you're "older", and all other things are equal, you're not going to generate as much interest as you would if you were "younger". And that's regardless of gender. If you're overweigh/heavier, the same applies. This isn't about "anorexic bimbos", "Barbie dolls", and "real women". It's about simple facts. Some women like X, some Y, but most like Z. Some men like X, some Y, but most like Z. If you're not Z, whatever it is, accept that and don't be critical of the group for choosing that preference, or the individual who have it more than the rest for having it.

The bottom line is, love you for who you are. Present that person well, and you'll cross paths with someone who loves you for that person. And those you meet that don't? They're just not into you. And they're just not right for you. They're not bad. They're just different.

Peace
 romanticoptimist
Joined: 10/1/2007
Msg: 17
What do men want ????
Posted: 7/20/2008 1:11:42 PM

Ultimately, we ALL want the same thing, love, respect, companionship, support, intimacy.... and it is undeniable that the packaging counts initially!!

And I think it's both fair, fine, and healthy to want those things, to expect those things, from others. I think the Golden Rule applies well here -- you tend to draw to you those who treat you like you treat others, and when they don't you do better to apply your reasonable expectations instead of trying to figure out if he/she will change and be a better person if only you were more patient, more forgiving, more understanding -- there are no healthy "fixer uppers" in the dating world!

I really enjoyed the market analogy. And I'd add a gardening one, that you reap what you sow. No sensible person can expect to sow dishonesty and mind games and reaps a healthy relationship. Nobody who plants a negative image reaps a positive relationship. Nobody who doesn't know how to love themselves and accepts themselves can reasonably expect a stranger to do so.

In order to be successful in this internet dating world I think you have to be upfront on everything.....who you are and what you want....

Agreed. And the real obvious beauty of this is that if you are you then you don't have to struggle to be anyone else. And if someone isn't into you it's fine. "They're just not into you". There's no negative in that. It's a simple fact. And wouldn't it be wonderful if you were youand someone came along and said, "I really love you (and not someone you were trying to be or pretending to be)"? Loved because you're you -- warts and all. A blessing.

I should also clarify that my observations before were of about general rather than specific preferences. Significant, but always room for differences from that norm. And there is no "better than" implied. We're each of other precious and valued, each of us worthy of being loved. Each of us entitled to a certain level of respect and consideration.

Peace
 A Purrrfect Pisces
Joined: 11/12/2006
Msg: 18
What do men want ????
Posted: 7/20/2008 3:46:31 PM
Their mothers.

PP
 itty
Joined: 7/11/2008
Msg: 19
What do men want ????
Posted: 7/20/2008 6:57:51 PM
I've had men message me just to say thank you for not having a profile full of proverbial crap. I said exactly what I want and it's extremely to the point.

I think we all need something like that on this site. I know I'm tired of the regular "single man looking for a chick" kinda stuff. Tell us what you really and truly want. If you're here for dating, say so, otherwise just shut up and don't complain when you get women who want long term or a one night stand.

It's the same with both sexes and we can't say otherwise. Some women are just as bad (sometimes even worse) then the men can be.

I really don't like dating people at work because you have to remain professional and really you can't take your home life to work (at least where I am cause you screw up and it's a lawsuit waiting to happen) and it just really has never worked for anyone I know there.

I have tried saying hello at odd places and always get a look that clearly tells me I'm way too heavy for them to even consider.

For myself, I'm sick of the sticks there are out there cause really, do you eat? now if a guy is thin and not a stick I'm more likely to pay attention. This is a lot different from how I was 10 years ago and only went for the guys who were cut (but for a couple exceptions...lol)

So trying to figure out what men want is probably just as easy as asking ourselves that same question.
 PAssingGAzzz
Joined: 4/5/2008
Msg: 20
What do men want ????
Posted: 7/20/2008 7:02:58 PM
^ ^ yes my dear some men are a wee confused

***Back on topic:
Some men are looking to play, for them that is OK..
Some men are looking for a mother
Some men are looking for a babysitter
Some men are looking for a wife
Some men are looking for a life...

The mix is very individual, so have a coffee.. and explore what it is that YOU want VS. what the other person wants in an individual!
 curlingfanatic
Joined: 6/30/2008
Msg: 21
What do men want ????
Posted: 7/21/2008 12:38:06 PM
Older Women .............
 Caspian
Joined: 4/6/2005
Msg: 22
view profile
History
What do men want ????
Posted: 7/21/2008 10:24:39 PM
I think you are approaching this from the wrong side. First you have to decide what you want and work from that. No matter how many times this question is answed the question will be as diverse as the people asking it. Figure out what you want and hope to find that. If anyone could answer this question it would be praised as nothing short of the 9th wonder of the world. The one thing that I wish women would do is simply contact guys they are interested in. I mean they all want mr right but expect him to come to them. I've been battling with the question of what I want for quite some time, let alone what a woman wants.

Take some chances and contact what you may be interested in, worst case you find one more person you don't work with.
 Inner strength
Joined: 12/19/2007
Msg: 23
What do men want ????
Posted: 7/22/2008 7:08:40 AM
There are some very interesting comments ,I think we could all learn somthing from the younger men and women ,they have made some really sensible suggestions .
But ,I guess we are all searching for someone ,that will just sweep us of our feet and we can live happily ever after. Maybe we listened to too many fairy tales about princesses and princes when we were growing up and about kissing the frog that turned into a prince !
I know I have kissed princes who have turned in to frogs!!!!
but again thats my opinion.
 juan mo oclock
Joined: 3/19/2008
Msg: 24
What do men want ????
Posted: 7/22/2008 1:30:10 PM
^^^^^^^^^ROTFLMFAO^^^^^^^^^^i love you man, welcome back.......missed you popping in..........
 wpg_runner
Joined: 7/20/2008
Msg: 25
What do men want ????
Posted: 7/23/2008 6:06:59 PM
Haha. That's cute, Purrfect. And more true than you know.
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