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Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > Is a sense of humour REALLY that attractive? discuss...      Home login  
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 Merrylass
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 2
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Is a sense of humour REALLY that attractive? discuss...Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Heck yeah! Wit requires intelligence so a smart, funny guy is aces. Shared laughter bonds people - if you laugh together often, you become closer.

Pretty much all the couples I know who have managed long and happy marriages are people who smile and laugh often and seem to enjoy life and not sweat the small stuff. A good sense of humour is vital to that kind of relationship.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 8
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Is a sense of humour REALLY that attractive? discuss...
Posted: 7/21/2008 2:20:35 PM
A sense of humour is critical IMO... but there is compatibility in humour as well. It is a true joy when you get each others' jokes.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 12
Is a sense of humour REALLY that attractive? discuss...
Posted: 7/21/2008 2:27:05 PM
~OP~ I think maybe you are simplifying a complicated situation. Yes, humor is, without a doubt, vital. But ~ there are many other factors to consider. For me, physical attraction, intelligence, aware of the world at large, and a sense of humor are must-haves. The big problem, what I find funny ~ others may not. What I find attractive certainly isn't main-stream if I use POF as a prototype to what's "hot" and what isn't. I have quirky tastes, it's all part of the whole "to each their own" deal. I would agree though, I think for most people humor has to exist, reside, and be clearly visible. I can't imagine spending time with a ho-hum sort of guy. I'm doing a professional contract for someone who probably hasn't laughed since 1962, when he was 6-7 years old. Dear me, working with him is bad enough, socializing? Hell no.
 acitalriwt sixela
Joined: 5/5/2008
Msg: 13
Is a sense of humour REALLY that attractive? discuss...
Posted: 7/21/2008 2:29:32 PM
I do not know. To my knowlege I do not think I have been more attracted to some one only because of sense of humor. But I can not imagine being with someone who I can not laugh with.
 mjk21258
Joined: 10/20/2007
Msg: 16
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Is a sense of humour REALLY that attractive? discuss...
Posted: 7/21/2008 2:36:17 PM
Well, it certainly is more attractive no sense of humor.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 18
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A priest, a rabbi, and an insurance salesman walk into a bar . . . .
Posted: 7/21/2008 2:37:58 PM
^^ Great post Vulf. I've never bothered to stop and think why there is compatibility in humour... thanks for that!
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 24
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Is a sense of humour REALLY that attractive? discuss...
Posted: 7/21/2008 3:18:25 PM
Vulf addressed this quite well and as others have noted, a sense of humor is something that differs from one person to the next. Some people are still stuck in adolescent humor while others are tickled by more sophisticated fare.

Life is more fun when you are laughing, duh, good endorphins and why comedies, romantic comedies, do so well at the box office even when they are fairly low on the plausibility scale.

When life is rough, the ability to laugh at things is critical so do I want someone like my mother, who seems to have been totally absent the day they handed out the humor, who seems to "get" a joke about once or twice a decade? You say something funny and they sit there dead pan? It would be a crushing blow to my self-esteem and very boring, no thank you. Give me the funny guy but he also needs a lot more going for him than that.
 e 24
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 34
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Is a sense of humour REALLY that attractive? discuss...
Posted: 7/21/2008 4:40:03 PM
Bottom Line:

People look more attractive when they LAUGH a lot.

So, YES. Absolutely!!!

 ten ocho
Joined: 10/26/2007
Msg: 35
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Is a sense of humour REALLY that attractive? discuss...
Posted: 7/21/2008 4:49:27 PM
It's not about humor being attractive. Believe me, it is a huge turn on for a lot of people.

The issue is being in a situation to show the humor, as well as the type. Case in point, the 'intro' is the hardest part, and it's only after that that people can show off their real personalities. However, let's say you just met a girl and are already dropping racial jokes, or jokes about the special olympics. Probably not a good move.
 Randominternetguy
Joined: 12/25/2006
Msg: 37
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Is a sense of humour REALLY that attractive? discuss...
Posted: 7/21/2008 5:34:06 PM
I really shouldn't speak for all women, so I'll limit my sweeping generalizations to women say 45+. :)

My interpretation of "Someone who can make me laugh", doesn't mean she is literally talking about someone who can make her laugh.

What she means is someone who understands her moods AND knows when to say something to make her laugh, even if it's not really "funny". Someone who picks her up when she's down. Someone who can break the seriousness of a situation with a chuckle. Someone who can distract them from whatever is currently weighing their mind.

All these things get expressed as "Someone who can make me laugh", but sticking to the words only is missing the meaning, in my opinion.

Most, but not all, women want chemistry. I think most of that is really out of your control, either she feels it with a man or not, I don't think there's much a man can consciously do to affect that. (Note: I am refering to men who are not specifically out to play women.) It's not so much that others would label you with a sense of humor, but when a woman is attracted to you, she will see that important quality in you.

Bob

P.S. When I think about people telling me about someone they are currently attracted to, and how funny they are, I usually disagree with that assessment when I meet them. However, my opinion isn't the one that counts, now is it?
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 39
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Is a sense of humor REALLY that attractive? discuss...
Posted: 7/21/2008 5:50:17 PM
Intelligence is sexy, one usually has to be pretty intelligent to get and wit & sarcasm and be able to pull off having a great sense of humor. That's a package I find attractive, but there's a difference between funny funny, dark humor, and slapstick. I like funny to dark, slapstick gets on my nerves and funny funny usually comes off as immature. So it would depend on your audience, just because you are humorous doesn't mean you have the type of humor that someone is looking for and there's more to it, not just one's humor but who they are as a whole. I mean I know men who love fat women, just because I'm fat doesn't make me the type of fat girl they are looking for.

I'll take personality and good sense of humor over any physical attractiveness every time.
 TxSippiGal
Joined: 9/30/2007
Msg: 40
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Is a sense of humour REALLY that attractive? discuss...
Posted: 7/21/2008 5:50:52 PM
Well I like a good sense of humor in a man as long as it is the kind of humor that I think makes good sense.. hehehe..

Listen.. a man who will make me laugh till I pee in my britches is a man i will fall in love with!!! I guarantee it.. And I quickly lose interest in a man who doesn't find me funny when I tell some of my outrageous stories.

I think why it is so important to me is that humor eases so many tensions in life.. as well as heart break, remember Steel Magnolias?

I feel most alive when I can laugh.. and cry.. sometimes at the same time hehehe..

Laughter is good like a medicine and health to the bones.

Life is way too serious not to laugh..
 Frisky Monkey
Joined: 6/30/2008
Msg: 50
Is a sense of humour REALLY that attractive? discuss...
Posted: 7/22/2008 12:54:50 AM
You have to have Wit AND a ballsy sense of Confidence.
Wit alone makes you a goof. You need an unmovable sense of confidence and cojones like a brass monkey.
 Gourmetchef50
Joined: 11/24/2007
Msg: 57
Is a sense of humour REALLY that attractive? discuss...
Posted: 7/22/2008 5:56:01 AM
IMO..timing is everything..there's a time to be funny..there's a time to be serious..i personally know someone who is 'always' fun & games to be around..he gets that initial attraction with the ladies..and they love his personality..but he can't turn the switch 'off'..there comes a time when you have to be serious...whether its paying yourbills..or having goals..or planning for the future...this guy lives for today..doesnt worry about tomorrow..and has 'zero' plans for the future..
Does this seem like someone u would wanna date long term, ladies?/
 ManeRider
Joined: 5/22/2005
Msg: 58
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Is a sense of humour REALLY that attractive? discuss...
Posted: 7/22/2008 5:58:11 AM
I do find humor rather easily in life, or irony, as the case may often be. But as many have stated, my irony, how I see things being humorous, may just not fit classifications that others find amusing. I recently went through several emails with one particular young lady, and it seemed every time I tried being humorous, she found some way of taking offense to it. So, while I often read, as the OP has stipulated, that a sense of humor is often very important, finding the right person to enjoy your humor is a more difficult task. As my profile reads, " I enjoy a woman who can make me snort my drink through my nose at dinner. A lot of humorless women post profiles seeking a man with a good sense of humor. In this Life, you get what you give, people".

I can't understand how so many comedy shows make it on TV, such as Scrubs. It's obviously popular, but I just fail to find the humor in it. And ironically, the same viewers who enjoy that show may not find Mind of Mencia, Daily Show, Colbert Report, or South Park to possess anything amusing, but I do, so it must be in a person having a certain appreciation for different forms of humor or differing backgrounds, which account for ones appreciation on different topics. AS for physical attraction and a sense of humor, I happen to need both. One without the other fails to do much for me.
 We_Design_Our_Lives
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 75
Is a sense of humour REALLY that attractive? discuss...
Posted: 7/22/2008 2:01:56 PM
>> Shared laughter bonds people - if you laugh together often, you become closer.

I want to tell you something...it doesn't.

I have a natural wit and I've kept women laughing for 8 hours on the phone...then we meet, nothing...no connection.

Humor is a seasoning...it can only enhance what already has to be there.

I have endless and endless emails telling me I'm hysterial...but it absolutely doesn't cause a bond, all it does is cause them to feel good.

I've felt very strong bonds with people I've never made laugh...didn't even try...the bond came from emotional validation, not entertainment.
 SueCat51
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 77
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Is a sense of humour REALLY that attractive? discuss...
Posted: 7/22/2008 4:20:10 PM
Artie - would you rather be with one who walks around as though they've sucked lemons their whole life? How about that permanent pout, or those frown lines? Then there are those who view life as "the glass is half empty". Any and all of those traits is like hanging around the Titanic. How many on POF really want our own ships to go down - only to get cleaned by pond scum? NOT ME!!! I love to laugh and see others laugh.

Looks - my philosophy about looks is "Murphy's Law" or the "Law of Gravity". Simply put, what will go wrong will (gray hairs; wrinkles; stooped over; bald spots; or places you knew never sagged). Trust me, all of us are not going to look like GQ; Playboy; or Playgirl, our whole lives.
 FortyFine44122
Joined: 2/9/2008
Msg: 79
A priest, a rabbi, and an insurance salesman walk into a bar . . . .
Posted: 7/22/2008 6:39:36 PM

I'm not saying that all these folks who stipulate a "sense of humor" for their dream dates are conscious of this value sharing business. But I will suggest that they have learned in the past to trust someone who makes them laugh about subjects that matter to them. They have experienced shared values through humor, even if they haven't consciously made that connection.
THIS is the right definition: it's not about sense of humor, but about compatibility -- the ability to laugh at the same jokes
And it is the most important thing because it shows if there is a connection
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 82
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Is a sense of humour REALLY that attractive? discuss...
Posted: 7/25/2008 3:25:31 PM
People want someone who makes them happier, and people are happier when they laugh. So people want someone who can make THEM laugh. However, different people have different senses of humour, and different things that make them laugh.

However, people only want it to a point. Lots of men and women who are/have been married to comedians have said that it is really, really, hard to live with them. It's just not funny to be with someone who is never serious, or who does it for a living, and isn't funny at all at home.

I just have to find someone who likes really, really sick humour. Like people who think Millhouse being eaten by the school snake is hilarious.
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