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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT      Home login  
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 JustMary65
Joined: 5/26/2008
Msg: 2
Being open sexually does not make you a SLUTPage 1 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
LOL-I don't give a rip what people think of my face, my cleavage or my open opinions on sexuality. Now, the few men who think because I like sex means I want sex with them are SILLY SILLY BOYS! I have a steady lover who keeps me quite content, but since he and I are not exclusive-if I chose to find some lovin elsewhere I have that option, but so does he.

And for those who are wondering or have inquired about my oral skills-yeah I do alright but inquiring about my skills doesn't mean I'm about to put a lip lock around YOUR C*CK!! Again, silly silly boys I enjoy my manfriends penis-he and I have become very close over the yrs and I'm not ready to find anyone new ...at the moment anyway..LOL!

Nah-I'm not a slut-I'm a well adjusted sexually active happy fat chick
 Leeanne
Joined: 10/14/2005
Msg: 5
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Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/23/2008 6:03:52 PM
You know who you are and what you do in life - who gives a rats as$ what others think or say! Ignore them and live your life as you choose - with head held high!!
 grapevine
Joined: 10/2/2005
Msg: 6
Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/23/2008 6:06:23 PM
Way I see it, I'm not under any obligation to divulge the details of my sex life or preferences to a bunch of strangers on an internet forum site. I take issue with being labeled as "closed-minded" because I don't care to engage in every sexual deviation known to mankind, nor share details of same.

Being sexually open certainly does not make you a slut any more than being private about your sex life and using judgment, discernment and just plain preference doesn't make you "uptight," either.

Personally, I don't care what anyone does in the confines of their own bedroom; I don't really care to hear the "gory details," though. Some things are better left private, and for a reason. To me, the whole fact it's "intimate" is one of the biggest turn ons about sex. JMHO. *Shrugs*
 HarDayKnight
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 8
Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/23/2008 7:18:47 PM
Posted By: cupcakegirlmn on 7/23/2008 9:07:40 PM

Message: even if you decide to sleep with a different man each week, that does not make you a slut. what it makes you is a woman who loves sex and has no beef about where and how to get what she wants.



Maybe you're right; but, if you put that on your love resume, you might find yourself over qualified for a permanent position. Experience is a plus. The lack of interest in, or the inability to hold, a steady job is not.




As far as the word "Slut." What does that even mean anymore? Showing cleavage certainly isn't grounds for it's use; but, what is? Some seem to feel any behavior is acceptable and nobody has a right to judge. Maybe they're right. But we definitely have the right to discriminate when we make a selection for a mate.
 Ravenstar66
Joined: 8/27/2007
Msg: 9
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Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/23/2008 7:29:17 PM
I'm a slut.. an ethical slut, I guess (always been meaning to read that book)

If slut means I enjoy sex, have little or no hang-ups, and decide for myself whom I wish to share that with.. without giving a flying crap what anyone else thinks.. sure. If it means I have condoms in my purse (I don't, but I could) or have had a FWB in the past.. or many of the "other" scary things that a lot of people aren't comfortable with... then yes, sure... I'm a slut. If it means I've had more than a couple of partners.. okay, fine, I'm a slut. I'm 42 for pete's sake, I haven't been living under a rock, or in a convent.

I have my own code of morals, I don't mess with anyone who is involved with someone else, I don't cheat or misrepresent myself... safe, sane and consensual is my bottom line, the rest is on a situational basis and what is right for my partner and myself. As long as I am honouring myself and others I don't really care what other people or society at large thinks about it. I'm not very good with guilt or shame, they are concepts I find pretty much useless except as a warning that I may be crossing my own moral boundaries, and if my choices made me feel that way, I wouldn't choose them. Simple enough.

Doesn't mean I'll boink any male to happens to cross my path, though. That's not being a slut, that's being a person with serious self-esteem issues and a lack of good judgment.

I've read a few threads on "how many partners" and "should you tell" and such.. and actually I am appalled at the mindset of some people. For me it just tells me they are VERY insecure about sexuality (seems to frighten them somehow... like if someone REALLY likes sex or has a fair amount of experience they will end up OUT OF CONTROL and become promiscuous without discretion or will be unfaithful. Seems to me maybe it's an inner fear they have of letting go and really enjoying themselves. Do they feel out of control with their own desires? Makes me wonder) . Not saying that anyone needs to make the choices others do... it's all very personal, but what's right for one doesn't make it right for someone else.

I like to live by this, "Own your choices, and let others own theirs, don't judge unless you've EXPERIENCED it - cause if you haven't been in someone's shoes you have no clue what you are talking about"... and please stop with the derogatory names (like slut) and crap, it's boring and pretty much irrelevant these days.

Just my opinion.

peace
 red_lotus
Joined: 11/6/2007
Msg: 10
Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/23/2008 7:38:44 PM
HERE HERE classy!!! Mkes me think of that sone "independant woman"

you'd think the term liberated had never occurred. a slut isnt an action is a kind of person. You can sleep with 3 people and be a slut, or you can sleep with 5 and still be classy about it.

Im an open person, doesnt bother me and im ont shy in the slightest, my sexuality is a part of me and i embrace it not run from it.

IT IS HOW YOU CARRY IT.
 Droleci
Joined: 4/21/2004
Msg: 12
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Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/23/2008 8:26:01 PM
I don't believe there is such a thing as a "slut" :)
 2ofcup
Joined: 5/11/2008
Msg: 13
Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/23/2008 8:27:42 PM
My grandma useto say only you have to wake up with yourself.


Just because you like sex doesn't mean anything else then YOU LIKE SEX.
I think a slut is a person that has to phuck as many people as they can with no discretion.
I like to talk about sex with people I know well, I like sex , but I only have sex with someone I'm close with. I was told that makes me a prude(yeah I'm trying to figure that out)

"Seriously where is the harm in two like minded adults flirting and talking openly!'

There should be no harm in that, but unfortunately a large part of the population still think sex should be keep behind closed doors.

"I take issue with being labeled as "closed-minded" because I don't care to engage in every sexual deviation known to mankind, nor share details of same."

That should be called privacy, not closed minded.


"I've read a few threads on "how many partners" and "should you tell" and such.. and actually I am appalled at the mindset of some people."

I look at that mindset as jealousy. not at the # you have slept with but the fact that you enjoy opening yourself up with another person in ways that too many people just don't understand.
Just because someone likes to do something different then the "Norm" that should not be looked at as anything other then free will.

I frimly belive that too many people need to get a life .
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 14
Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/23/2008 8:39:31 PM

Now, the few men who think because I like sex means I want sex with them are SILLY SILLY BOYS!


Guys who think like that get set straight pretty quick, I imagine. There's no point in worrying about people who'll jump to conclusions anyway... regardless of their gender.

For myself, I simply do not register anything remotely sex oriented in my profile. I find that if I'm open, even if only a little... that openness gets driven around the bend by people who can find fault with anything.
 WhiteWaterRogue
Joined: 4/3/2007
Msg: 18
Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/24/2008 6:54:10 PM
Looks like anger issues to me
 openlove
Joined: 5/26/2008
Msg: 19
Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/27/2008 7:02:26 AM
"Seriously where is the harm in two like minded adults flirting and talking openly! "

Good point!
I think its about time that certain (not all) men and women get with the program. We are ALL adults and the difference in male or female have the same Needs, wants, desires, cravings, etc.....
Theres nothing wrong with flirting and/or being open about who you are and what it is you like sexually.
Why hide it?
 Angelnurse10
Joined: 6/10/2007
Msg: 21
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Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/27/2008 8:07:46 AM
a big to all the women who responded to this. I don't have a lot of cleavage shots, but doesn't mean I won't in the future. If a women decides that is what she wants, I say more power to her, but that is still her decision on whether she sleeps with a man or not. Women today have less hangups about sex than when we were younger.
I am intelligent, sexy, love men, sex and these forums. I have been told when I first started on these forums that talking about oral sex and other topics makes me a slut. Relax, I am in the sexuality forum.
 grapevine
Joined: 10/2/2005
Msg: 22
Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/27/2008 8:07:56 AM
I don't think the general consensus is that a woman is a slut if she dresses in a sexy manner, or discusses sexual issues. I think of a slut as a woman who is very promiscuous, who makes no attempt to be discreet, and who dresses in a slutty manner, and who speaks in a slutty manner, and who carries herself in a slutty manner.. And I mean slutty, not sexy. There is a difference. Of course men are going to look at cleavage if it's exposed...and that's a natural part of the sexual attraction between a male and a female. But do you just ASSume that because she's wearing a low-cut blouse she a) is doing it for your personal benefit? b) she's loose and will screw anything with a penis? You have to delve further to figure out what kind of woman she is. My photographs I'm wearing an evening gown with a low-cut neckline but that certainly does not make me a slut. And it doesn't give license for a man to speak to me as though I am one. Huge big difference between "You look lovely," or even "Wow! You're hot!" and "Nice tits. Wanna ****?"
 male.1957
Joined: 2/12/2007
Msg: 25
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Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/27/2008 2:00:19 PM
Agree with your comments totally. Woman are human also and they enjoy sex.
 surely im shirley
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 27
Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/27/2008 2:57:45 PM

It seems that a lot of you have the opinion that if i show a little or a lot of cleavage and have open discussions with men about sex that I am considered to have weak morals.


I think that there is a time...a place...and a person with whom you can display cleaveage and also have open discussions about sex.

I had a girlfriend a few years ago, who considered it one of life's greatest joys to go out to the bars and collect men's phone numbers. Indeed, she considered the evening a waste otherwise. She was certainly not promiscuous, but she wore revealing clothing, and allowed men to make verbal, sexual advances. Her willingness to allow this disrespectful behavior led them to believe that she could be a potentially, easy sexual conquest. When she called them, she was shocked that the first thing on their mind was sex!

I am a big believer of this perhaps old fashioned code of behavior. I am a lady in public....need I say more?
 BnPortCity
Joined: 6/22/2008
Msg: 28
Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/27/2008 3:10:49 PM
I am glad I am not female to have to deal with this stuff, guys want a woman to drop her panties then as soon as they do they get labeled. Has always been crazy to me the double standard women have to put up with when it comes to sex. They have to like it but not to much, do it but not to crazy, man thats difficult. I will never call anyone a whore/slut unless its some kinky talk in bed or something. If you want to have sex and u aren't hurting anyone have fun shouldn't matter to anyone else!
 surely im shirley
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 29
Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/27/2008 3:15:55 PM

I am glad I am not female to have to deal with this stuff, guys want a woman to drop her panties then as soon as they do they get labeled. Has always been crazy to me the double standard women have to put up with when it comes to sex. They have to like it but not to much, do it but not to crazy, man thats difficult. I will never call anyone a whore/slut unless its some kinky talk in bed or something. If you want to have sex and u aren't hurting anyone have fun shouldn't matter to anyone else!


bnportcity...you are a treasure!
 surely im shirley
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 30
Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/27/2008 3:33:50 PM
I agree with you completely Marc. Did you review any of the women's profiles following their vehement disagreement to the OP question? How many of you think that posing on a bed with starry eyes and minimal clothing may suggest sex and promiscuity to the average person?
 BaldyisBeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 36
Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/27/2008 6:55:40 PM
I agree ladies, I am so tired of being labled a slut just because I show a little extra skin and because I am sexually open. Granted, by open I mean a leering old man with binoculars and a straight view of the beach ... but that's completely beside the point. Just because I enjoy a few spankings now and then, maybe some light bondage, nipple clamps, name calling, electricity, and some fantasy roleplaying ... why does that make me a slut?!!!!

*feeling so indignant*
 coffeelover
Joined: 3/31/2006
Msg: 37
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Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/27/2008 7:02:25 PM



interesting Possibility,

Perhaps you should have phrased it more like this,,,,,,,

the difference between boys and men is boys with big mouths. WTF are we all still in grade school that we men need to discuss openly our sex lives? We men ARE pigs!
 windloverr
Joined: 2/29/2008
Msg: 39
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Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/29/2008 2:11:08 AM
Baldy, being open sexually does NOT make you a slut. Being EASY makes you a slut.
 openlove
Joined: 5/26/2008
Msg: 40
Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/29/2008 2:30:59 AM
....and I'm reading through these posts thinking who's a "happy slut" and who's not, lol.

Cheers to the happy ones! hehe........
 red_lotus
Joined: 11/6/2007
Msg: 42
Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/29/2008 7:51:11 AM
she must have cleaned house i dont see any. but damn i hope mine look that perky at 40! ve
 windloverr
Joined: 2/29/2008
Msg: 49
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Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/29/2008 9:39:33 PM
Aren't double standards a trip? Guys want a woman who is hot in bed, knows all the tricks, can suck start a Harley, loves anal sex, will tie them up, or be tied up, who'll talk dirty to them, is capable of multiple orgasms, and loves the taste of semen; but she can't have had more than 2-3 sexual partners. What's wrong with this picture?
 PirateOB
Joined: 5/22/2008
Msg: 51
Being open sexually does not make you a SLUT
Posted: 7/30/2008 6:42:56 AM
I just checked your pictures I think you need to show more cleavage
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