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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Why do people say i work long hours so.....      Home login  
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 2
Why do people say i work long hours so.....Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
All my succesful finance and CPA buddies are 55+ minimum hours and single. They need someone with a flexible schedule and patience if they start dating.
Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 4
Why do people say i work long hours so.....
Posted: 7/27/2008 11:36:55 PM
I would either see it as they don't have the time to spend hanging in bars or social groups in the hopes of meeting someone, and want to more or less spend their free time dating. After all, these sites were created on the idea for busy professionals to meet people.

However, I also would see it as someone who will use work as an excuse to reject you talk a bit, then she's suddenly always busy with work when you ask her out. Or you go on one date and then suddenly she's always tied up with work.

Best to just talk to the person and get to know them...see how much work is a problem for dating or not.
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 10
Why do people say i work long hours so.....
Posted: 7/28/2008 3:33:37 PM
~OP~ There are those who do work extensive hours, volunteer on top of that, don't do the bar scene, aren't likely to inter-mingle personal life with business-life, etc. This is an option.
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 11
Why do people say i work long hours so.....
Posted: 7/28/2008 6:58:55 PM
why do i say or have said I "work long hours"... mainly because it is the truth.

why do i put so much effort into working those long hours.... well various reasons actually.

1. life is not free
2. i like to shop (related to item #1)
3. laying the ground work for a long and prosperous career
4. i have no real life
5. i have no real friends
6. it's not really!!
7. 2 words...early retirment
8. i cannot get a date
9. long hours can be part of the job description
10. i like $$$, and i am the goverment screw ever two weeks kinda makes long hours a requirment.

all that being said it, i must also say this.....People before things...always!

although i do put in the time it is not to say that for the right somone that would not all change. i am fortunate enough to have an employer who is understanding and values the personal time required by each and every employee. i pretty much have control of my entire schedule so it is ultimatly up to me how much time i put in.
 La Gioconda
Joined: 6/27/2008
Msg: 16
Why do people say i work long hours so.....
Posted: 7/29/2008 8:22:13 PM
It is true ~OP~ for many of us, life is very busy. I can say that because up to age 34 my life was pretty steady and I had tons and tons of time for socializing. I usually played tennis after work, and went out with friends for a dinner and glass of wine, loads of fun, during weekend I would go hiking in summer , skiing in winter. Those days are over, and there isn't anything wrong with that.

Today, on top of work I developed bunch of passions, and I am much more committed to myself. After work, I spend time devoted to my spirituality, I like to go for a swim to keep myself in shape. I also volunteer in the art gallery and still trying to find the time for studio work. You wonder when would I have the time to date, well I don't or at least it is very limited. Men my age are usually busy with their own life,, we make little bit of time for each other, at this moment this is OK by me.
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 21
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Why do people say i work long hours so.....
Posted: 7/30/2008 4:20:21 PM
I work long hours but I still find time to date and socialize.
Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 24
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Why do people say i work long hours so.....
Posted: 7/31/2008 9:13:55 PM
A lot of people say it just to get out of a date with someone they dont want.

So beware, they might well not be telling the truth.
Joined: 9/9/2007
Msg: 27
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Why do people say i work long hours so.....
Posted: 8/2/2008 1:07:45 PM
I think when people say that they work long hours, they don't mean 16 hours a day every day, but they may work awkward hours. They don't work the Mon-Friday 9-5 job. They're warning the person in advance that their dates may have to be during the day because they work from 3- 11 or during the week because they work weekends.
I have this problem because I'm a nurse and my shifts are days 0700 to 1900 or nights 1900 t0 0700 so my date can't start before 8 pm and I work every other weekend. I think this is one of the reasons so many nurses are single or whe married can't be the best spouse because they're not around enough to spend time with their family.

Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 39
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Why do people say i work long hours so.....
Posted: 8/12/2008 4:52:04 PM
I have posted that in the past, but it's because it's true. "I work long hours", but it isn't because I have to, but because I want to. I do have time to date, but would rather work on getting stuff done in my business than to waste my time away sitting in front of a tv watching some mindless reality show. the end...I'm either working or at the gym. There are a lot of people that like to keep busy and work is one of the things they choose to do versus going out to bars, drinking and getting stupid.

Joined: 6/11/2008
Msg: 40
Why do people say i work long hours so.....
Posted: 8/12/2008 5:42:18 PM

Maybe they work 4/10's, maybe they work 24 hour, 36, or even 72 hour shifts. Fire, EMS, even some police...
Joined: 3/4/2008
Msg: 44
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Why do people say i work long hours so.....
Posted: 8/15/2008 8:20:12 PM
working long hours means less time to meet people
 La Gioconda
Joined: 6/27/2008
Msg: 49
Why do people say i work long hours so.....
Posted: 8/25/2008 12:04:24 AM
You need to find someone who is compatible with your lifestyle. Supposedly you have lots of free time and you want to meet a person who is also in a similar life situation, then you need to find that person.

Me, I have mentioned earlier in the thread, I do have many passions outside my work hours, my compatible match would be a man who does not need and want to see me 24/7. I require lots of my own time, and hopefully he also requires the same. So, this makes us oddly compatible. Problem solved. As the time goes by, and either of us want more time with each other, it is negotiable. Nothing is written in stone.
 La Gioconda
Joined: 6/27/2008
Msg: 50
Why do people say i work long hours so.....
Posted: 8/25/2008 10:22:06 AM
South Boy, your message sounds great written in the form of thread, lots of words of wisdom and what you said is true. It isn't something any one of us does not know of , or is unaware of, IMO. You don't have to reach certain age to know this either. While I think many pieces of advice sound like cliche to me, because once you do your own life, you know what is important to you. For many of us to make ourselves available to a relationship 24/7 or even spending time with our SO, every evening after work, and all the weekend, isn't really necessary, and it isn't an indicator that one forgot to stop and smell the roses, either.

For me personally, I have had much more time on my hands when I was in my twenties and thirties, but at that time my persona was far from being defined, and today I have many commitments to myself which I enjoy and are very important aspects of myself. I am not at the age when I think about starting a family, par example, 'my children' are my passions, and I need the time to my own personal development and spiritual practice. These are all the things that require my attention and energy. I would have a problem with entering a relationship with a man at my age, who hasn't developed or defined his life and relies on me to entertain him. Don't get me wrong, when I am with my partner, I want to be as much present as I possibly can, but there are other commitments which are equally important, and the right partner does not have the problem with that, he understands me, and he requires the time devoted to his own personal development. These days I take my life quite seriously, I don't have the time for pure entertainment, something I would indulge myself in, in my earlier years.

Regarding some people, who work long hours to make $$$, no one really knows anyone's situation, they maybe in this time in their life that making $$$ is important, because time is money, and they need to make it now. I just don't agree with generic statement, that are make on forums, as ultimate truth and everyone should listen to it, because someone has arrived finally at certain stage of life, and they know it better. Those statements are so cliche, and lack many layers of depth, IMO.

No one knows why we choose to take certain paths in life, we only do know, and we need to find partners that are compatible with our lifestyle, rather than criticizing others and suggesting the ' right' way of life. La Jaconde 2cents.
 La Gioconda
Joined: 6/27/2008
Msg: 51
Why do people say i work long hours so.....
Posted: 8/25/2008 9:52:35 PM
Oh, I know South Boy, you were not disagreeing or agreeing with me or anyone here. I suppose I was just making additional comments, but it looked like I was criticizing yours, but this was not my intention.

Because, as far as we know, we only pass through these hallways a single time.

I don't think we really know what this world is for, either or how many times we are passing through this. For many, to which I subscribe to, is that this world is 'maya' (Hinduism) or illusion (western thoughts and a Course in Miracles or Buddhism), we attach meaning to things and make a big deal of things, that don't have meaning.

We are beyond this physical world, but this is not a subject of this thread. wake up to Present Moment, takes a lot of presence, or we could just keep entertaining ourselves, with sex (nothing wrong with that) or sinful deserts with lots of chocolate on it, covered with whipped cream and cherry on a very top....(everything is good in moderation).

It's important to make it count.

That's why many of us maybe devoted, committed to things we consider important, that may not be a relationship 24/7. Please, don't get me wrong, I am not saying that relationships don't count, I am saying that apart from relationships there are other commitments that are equally important and it is about balancing act.

It does make sense what you said, South Boy, I am just looking at things from different angle or perspective. La Jaconde, 2 cents.
Joined: 6/18/2008
Msg: 53
Why do people say i work long hours so.....
Posted: 9/27/2008 10:43:24 PM
I have a complicated work schedule and have to plan things around it. I am not able to just up and go out on a short notice. I'm also subject to be called in at any time. It really puts a dent in a social life, especially when you know that you will be working at least 2 weekends a month. I work night shift, 12 hours, and when I get home "normal" people are just going to work. When I wake up and am getting ready for work, they are getting off work. Then on some of my off nights, I'm catching up on things around the house, visiting my parents, etc....I just can't drop everything and go out. It's also hard to readjust my sleep schedule when I am off. I am ready to go after dark, and most dates are just ready to go home!
Joined: 6/13/2006
Msg: 57
Why do people say i work long hours so.....
Posted: 10/1/2008 8:29:26 PM
Looks like some of these post have become an 'us versus them' battleground,lol! I am one of those who list my occupation and the hours that come with it as items to be taken into consideration. I do so to allow potential dates to decide if that's something they want to deal with. Seems like pure respect to me.
Joined: 9/19/2008
Msg: 61
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Why do people say i work long hours so.....
Posted: 10/2/2008 10:03:29 AM
Yep-weird hours hurt-Like I posted before: Just know that you ARE somebody someone wants to meet-we're all superstars in our own right, it's all in the packaging and marketing! Do it right, folks; and sell, sell, sell! I'm Phishkev and I approve this message... I like to socialize, but if it's on a weekday, where are my band of loyal followers? It can be discouraging sometimes...
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 63
Why do people say i work long hours so.....
Posted: 10/2/2008 8:38:04 PM
It's an out line. Just like the "it's not you, it's me" routine.

Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 67
Why do people say i work long hours so.....
Posted: 10/5/2008 9:46:20 PM

Only way to date is online for me.

What does that mean, exactly? That you only chat online and never get together? Because to me it's not dating unless you're actually physically getting together out in the real world--coffee, dinner, movies, sports, friends gettogethers, etc.

If people are too busy to actually date, then it seems a little unethical to put yourself out there as looking to date or form a relationship.

Joined: 5/12/2008
Msg: 68
Why do people say i work long hours so.....
Posted: 10/5/2008 10:39:01 PM

When people post "I work long hours" that's why I come here to find a date. Wouldn't you think that they wouldn't have time to date?
Maybe, what the person means is: Their long hours prevent them from going out and socializing often enough to meet new people. But they would still be able to make time to go on a date with someone who they met through here.

I'd personally rather get to know someone who's life is occupied, and who understands that at certain times my life may be occupied. Rather than the person in their 30s, who seems to be constantlygoing out dating or socializing, and doesn't seem to have any other priorities.

Sometimes the demands of a person's life can seem to get in the way of their life. I'd want to date a person who's wise enough to realise that.
 doink 1962
Joined: 1/5/2008
Msg: 70
Why do people say i work long hours so.....
Posted: 10/6/2008 10:00:00 AM
I don't put long I put funny hours because I work rotating shifts that are 12 hours long. This might not seem like a big deal to you until you have to deal with it. It means I will be gone some nights from 5:30 at night till 6:30 the next morning and some people may be turned off by that , not that I am looking for pity or wow what a great working man I am, just trying to be open about my work schedule.
 Sweet J-me Baby
Joined: 10/14/2007
Msg: 71
Why do people say i work long hours so.....
Posted: 10/7/2008 8:48:00 AM
I agree. People say that they work long hours because they do and they want to make sure the other person knows straight up that work takes up a good chunk of their time.

I work long hours too because I am an in an industry where anything can happen at any time and I have to be ready to go when it does. There are always events to be covered and breaking news that I have to drop everything for and because I cover an entire county to myself, that means me. I work every single weekend, but I do get the luxury of working from home to do my writing and phone calls. All of this combined, makes planning a date really tough.

This upcoming weekend is Thanksgiving weekend in Canada and my editor told me she wants me to take a full three-day weekend first three days off in a row since Christmas. She put her foot down and said no phone calls, no assignments, she wants me to take a break! lol OK, I'll take it!!

So, whoever I choose to date or have a relationship with is going to have to understand the demons of my job. I do love my career and don't mind the long hours, but there are men out there who do not understand why I can not just drop everything and go out.

So, this weekend, I will be getting caught up on sleep, watching as much baseball as I can squeeze in, and spend time with my family! In fact, it may just be the only time I actually get dressed all weekend is when I go the my parents' for Thanksgiving dinner.....I have visions already of lounging on the couch in my jammies watching baseball and movies all weekend.

Joined: 8/27/2007
Msg: 73
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Why do people say i work long hours so.....
Posted: 10/11/2008 5:12:31 PM
i work a lot so i can pay for college tuition for two sons and still able to go on trips from time to time. to buy christmas for the 3 children. since i am a single mom with 3 almost grown children working long hours as a nurse is a need. 0645 to 1915. doesnt leave much time for a social life between homecoming and prom plans.
Joined: 11/27/2007
Msg: 74
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Why do people say i work long hours so.....
Posted: 10/11/2008 5:24:18 PM
Yep, yep...rotating shift work with variable days off.

It's more than difficult to establish any sort of connection when that is the case. My experience has usually been along the lines of "You're hiding something". Umm, yeah, I'm hiding that I have a wife and eight kids tucked in the storeroom of the warehouse I work at. BAH!
Joined: 9/14/2006
Msg: 76
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Why do people say i work long hours so.....
Posted: 10/12/2008 7:26:03 PM

working long hours means less time to meet people

That's it! That's all! Why does it have to be an excuse? Why does it have to be a "cover" for something else? Take it at face value!

We don't all work 8 hour days at computer desks. That doesn't make our jobs wrong, that doesn't make us "sick people", and that certainly doesn't make us unworthy of dating. Love you people who treat workaholics as diseased folk. Without those sick, disgusting workaholics, who don't have regular 40 hour weeks, you wouldn't have truck drivers, who bring you EVERYTHING you need to live in that cute little suburb or big city, you wouldn't have the waiters and waitresses to bring you dinner at the restaurant when you've finished your exhaustive (lol) 8 hour day, and you wouldn't have the farmers who worked 16 hour days in the spring and fall to put the food on the table!

When did good work ethic become a negative?
Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Why do people say i work long hours so.....