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 Sidewinder_Bob
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 2
she has been diagnosed with bipolarismPage 1 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
Those bipolar women are cruel and typically isolate to impose further control upon there partner sorry can't be more help my ex had it and all I could do was run for the hills obviously you don't have that option all I can say is if this isn't the first time your Dad has gone out with some mental head basket then he himself probably has some issues that need to be dealt with he's an enabler, co-dependant whatever it may be... All you can do is live your life and be there for your Dad when his house of cards come crumbling down even though it should be the other way around but that's life what can you do besides deal with the hand you got delt....
 Sidewinder_Bob
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 3
she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/4/2008 9:23:27 PM
"There is nothing wrong with peopole with bipolar, depression, OCD etc...."

Yes there is they are mentally ill, something is wrong with there noggin they are not normal they are sick in da head and the people that date them and are happy are not normal themself's...

Sorry to burst your bubble.....
 Sidewinder_Bob
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 5
she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/4/2008 9:32:29 PM
People with dyslexia, diabetes or deaf people aren't cruel and don't realize it big difference and can have normal productive relationships.

" I know from a personal experience that it is hard for them to recognise when they are doing it, and sometimes they rocognise it but they cant stop it once they have started"

Exactly cruel and don't even know it or do know it and can't stop being nasty don't know how on earth they could have a normal relationship unless the other person was extremely desperate for love extremely understanding or screwed up themselfs...
 Sidewinder_Bob
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 6
she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/4/2008 9:41:22 PM
"Im not going to put them out in the cold. You want them all to end up alone because of something they cant control? Everyone needs love, everyone."

They do find love co-dependants, enablers, the fixeruppers, the rescuers other metal cases and the desperate are all magnets to eachother...... But its sad when a normal person gets sucked into there little world and then come out totally different people jaded and all....
 Sidewinder_Bob
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 9
she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/4/2008 10:46:05 PM

As for the rest of you giving advice I would suggest that you either read up on the subject or get off this forum.


Get real your post was not a wealth of information and I've lived it and so has the OP and many other people either add something constructive or you should get off this forum you obviously don't have a clue...


Bi-polar is a problem with the neurotransmitters in the brain.


No shit sherlock but you could have left out "the neurotransmitters in" or did that make you feel smart using a big word like that, bi-polar is a problem with the brain...


co-dependency has absolutely nothing to do with this


Sure it does what the he!! does her father have for putting up with a bipolar bi*ch and enabling her to come between him and his daughter you have a better theory, I doubt it.


Id rather date a bipolar person than a murderer or an abuser, get your priorities straight. They are nice people.


They are not nice people they are only nice in the beginning to suck you in or they are nice if they feel they are going to lose you other then that there manipulative bi*ch's that any normal sane person should avoid for there own sanity...
 Sidewinder_Bob
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 10
she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/4/2008 11:08:59 PM

I think you need to go do some research.


I dated one for almost 2 years that's enough research for me.

kit901 is right on 100% she know what she's talkin about


Honestly people shouldn't be posting advice


What advice besides avoiding mentally ill people can't go wrong with that I can deal with physical diseases but not mental anymore.....

You can take your 2 cents and stuff em....
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 12
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she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/5/2008 12:21:37 PM
My Exes Mother was Bi-polar. It was a traumatic roller coaster ride to be anywhere near her. She managed even from 1200 miles away to distrupt our lives on a weekly basis. And to listen to her she was fine, it was everyone else that was crazy or not compassionate. She did not see things like we did, and processed information unlike anyone I have ever met. My advice? See your dad alone, do not stay in their home EVER.
If she had cancer, she would see a Dr and get help. Mental illness is no different than any other sickness. If there is help available then your father should be taking control of the situation and insist she take care of herself. He may enjoy the violence and drama but there's no law saying you or the rest of the clan has to put up with it.
 GiGi046
Joined: 11/23/2006
Msg: 13
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she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/5/2008 12:34:40 PM
I have a sister that suffers from bipolar most of her adult life. She was and is an extremely intelligent woman. The sad part is when she is in an episode she really loses touch with reality. I would give anything to be able to cure her but that is impossible. Instead I just learn to cope with it the best I can. To say she doesn't deserve love or compassion is cruel. She didn't ask for the disease. She was somehow born with it. I realize my father has it to some extent since he is a functioning bipolar person. There are many different types of bipolar. Some can actually function in society and maintain with the proper care and treatment. Just like alcoholism there is no cure. My sister has two grown children who did not uderstand and may never. However, she does have a man in her life that professes to love her immensely and waits for her each time she has what we call an "episode". They really do not mean to be manipulative it just happens. Would you stop loving someone if they got heart disease or cancer, or diabetes? This is no different not one of us is perfect. My sister loves all things and has a heart as pure as that of a child. She too deserves happiness i n her life. It is when she goes off of her meds that scares me.
 _Red_
Joined: 12/14/2006
Msg: 14
she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/5/2008 12:45:57 PM

Would you treat someone with dyslexia or diabetes differently, or someone who was deaf, how would you like to be put as an outcast for something out of your control. So dont do it to others, the more you do it the worse they will get!


In this case, the very clear difference is that the disorder of the person the OP is referring to is harmful to those around her, the relationships she's a part of and she's clearly verbally, emotionally and perhaps physically abusive.

I didn't see the OP state whether or not she was medicated but if she is going untreated, you may not like to hear it but it's her own damn fault if she's well aware of her diagnosis yet refuses to seek treatment and other's should not have to suffer because of her choice.

Those who desire love and understanding need to learn and care for themselves first so they can return what they receive from others. Many people with mental disorders are able to have stable relationships but it's completely up to them to get the help they need.

OP- If your father is choosing to stay with women like this, I would say he likely has some issues of his own which need to be addressed, perhaps a co-dependent nature or maybe he's just had the misfortune of winding up with the wrong women. HOWEVER, for him to stand by and allow his girlfriend to treat you this way is just plain wrong and personally, I wouldn't stick around for it. Your father should be backing you up when this woman goes off the deep end, not defending her or condoning her actions by allowing the isolation.

I'd find some good books or online information about abusive relationships and send it to him with a short letter, then step back a bit.
 abeautyqueen4u
Joined: 6/3/2008
Msg: 15
she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/5/2008 12:54:58 PM
Candicem you are very educated! For one to respone the way some did, trust me it makes me wonder if they have a mental illness. I wouldn't be so quick to judge one, until you know the FACTS and it's obvious that many don't because for one there is no such thing as bipolarism...one is either bipolar or he's not, and like a few educated people have said, there are different degrees to any illness and one needs to research which type of bipolar one has and go from there. Good luck!

We need to look at this as ANY other medical condition...if one is being treated properly and taking all required medication, in counseling (if need be), then he or she is fine...no need to avoid one with this condition.
 Ms Brat
Joined: 1/31/2008
Msg: 16
she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/5/2008 1:02:01 PM
I feel so very sorry for your situation. I see how young you are and I do hurt for you. You need your father and he doesn't realize how much he needs you. Please stay strong as he works thru this hard time, and remember that everything in life is temporary and hopefully, he will see the damage that his relationship is causing you. I want you to know that his actions have no bearing on your ability and self worth as a wonderful, good person. Try to focus on your life and surround yourself with positive, good people while your dad is "lost" in his own problem. Hang tuf but stay calm. Be focused on achieving your own goals in life. God Bless you.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 17
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she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/5/2008 2:32:22 PM
Bipolar,depression OCD scizophrenia is a mental disorder, it is a pained to have relationship with these mentally sick persons.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 18
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she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/5/2008 2:42:25 PM
I have compassion with people who have diagnose of mental disorder but I will not date them .
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 19
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she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/5/2008 4:18:11 PM
I've known a few people who are bipolar. When they have been on their meds for a while, they are OK to get on with during the day, but they do go to sleep early. When they are off their meds, their moods seem to go to extremes, and do quite crazy things, like running down the street naked.

Make sure she stays on her meds. If they aren't working, she can ask her doctor for different ones or to change her dosage. The policy is to have a lot of different meds with various dosages and with various combinations, and just to give her one set, and then keep changing them until she finds one that works for her.
 TheVoiceWithin
Joined: 6/29/2008
Msg: 20
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she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/5/2008 5:14:07 PM
Actually your assessment of bipolar is inaccurate, and perhaps you should check your facts before you speak to something you obviously know nothing about. My daughter who is 9 has been diagnosed with bipolar, and while it is difficult she is not psycho, delusional, or think that people are after them. She is not negative in every way, and no..she is not violent.
It is when people who do not understand this disorder give advice that keeps the misconceptions about it ongoing. Medication does help with the episodes of depression and mania, and cognitive therapy and family councelling helps also.
Many times people diagnoses with this disorder are told to "get over it," I know this because family members have stated it about my daughter. I simply respond that you would never tell someone who has diabetes or high blood pressure to get over it, and bipolar is no different.
It is when people do not understand the disorder, do not understand how to effectively deal with someone who has the disorder, and when people label these people that such a negative stigmatism is attached to them. I can assure you, they can live normal, healthy and happy lives when they are in control of their bipolar, by ensuring that they keep their appointments, regularly take their medication, and apply what they have been taught to manage their depression or mania. The other key is that these people need love and understanding, and if it is a family member suffering with this disorder, it is your responsibility to learn everything that you can about it, and to find a support system for yourself. This is a physiological/psychological disorder that affects the release of chemicals in the brain. The best advice I can give anyone who is affected by this paralyzing disorder is...PLEASE find a support system for you and your loved one...and KEY to this is, learn everything that you can, learn the triggers and signs of an episode and most of all, lots of love and patience...and PLEASE stop labelling them as psycho etc. As someone who has a loved one affected by bipolar, I find it offensive when you do.
 Quazi 100
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 22
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she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/5/2008 5:33:21 PM

First off, people with manic-depression or bi-polar disorder usually experience one of two moods at a time and cycle between the two. They are either in a euphoric state in which they are extremely active and don't like to spend time thinking. They can get delusional in this state where they think the mania is more of a gift to fulfill a purpose or task. They also experience depressive states which are very similar to the average major depression sufferers like over/undereating, over/under sleeping, trouble concentrating, feelings of hopelessness etc.


How this can be attributed to your dad's fiance:
Some of her moods may be able to be attributed to the manic state where she may be extremely irritable. I don't think you should worry about schizophrenia from what you've mentioned of her. She may have a hard time trusting people as it is in some people's nature. Some women can be very controlling as well. She may be so controlling because of a need to compensate from her uncontrollable moods.

What you can do:
Talk to your dad. You are his daughter and I'm sure he respects your opinions. Take him out to lunch and explain (rationally) what you're feeling. I would even suggest writing down your concerns prior as to not forget anything that's bothering you. I'm sure if you bring up constructive criticism your dad will listen and be able to facilitate a meeting with you guys so she can get to know you and find out that you're a good person and that she misjudged you. Make sure she goes to an MD or psychologist to talk about her symptoms. If she's medicated, the medication may not be working for her. If she's not medicated, I would suggest cognitive therapy and possibly finding out what medication could be right for her. I think that as soon as she's at a happy medium, the family dynamic can run more smoothly.


This is the most productive post in this thread....

Bi-Polar is just that...the person's mood is either at the North, or South Pole.

This is the basis behind the diagnosis...the person experiences "euphoric" highs, (large spending sprees, getting ideas for stopping the war in Iraq, and wanting to talk to Bush about it, re-vamping Wal-Mart...singlehandedly) and "devastating" lows...I mean suicidal, or something approaching it...not the "blues" this should give you the drift.

If your stepmother doesn't experience both of these phenomena, she isn't Bi-Polar...she's been misdiagnosed.

The first line of defense is still Lithium...it's the oldest mood stabilizer in the world. It's basically salt. There are other options if Lithium is ruled out.

If this is the second woman who has treated you this way, your Dad has issues that he needs to address. We pick a certain type of person for a reason....it serves us somehow. I agree that you should meet with your Dad, and tell him how you feel. It may do no good...if his issues are such, that he doesn't want to hear it, there's nothing you can do.

In the meantime, if the girlfriend confronts you in any way, you can do a couple of things, depending on how courageous you are....you can stand there, and let her run down, then say "are you done?"....or when it starts, walk away...if she follows you, keep walking.....do not make excuses for yourself, or apologize.

I'm taking you at your word that the info in your post is accurate...if so, this might help.

For the rest of you, would you please at least go to Wikipedia and look up what you're going to be posting about.....I've never read such drivel in my life.
 Quazi 100
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 24
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she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/5/2008 5:40:45 PM

It is when people who do not understand this disorder give advice that keeps the misconceptions about it ongoing. Medication does help with the episodes of depression and mania, and cognitive therapy and family councelling helps also.
Many times people diagnoses with this disorder are told to "get over it," I know this because family members have stated it about my daughter. I simply respond that you would never tell someone who has diabetes or high blood pressure to get over it, and bipolar is no different.
It is when people do not understand the disorder, do not understand how to effectively deal with someone who has the disorder, and when people label these people that such a negative stigmatism is attached to them. I can assure you, they can live normal, healthy and happy lives when they are in control of their bipolar, by ensuring that they keep their appointments, regularly take their medication, and apply what they have been taught to manage their depression or mania. The other key is that these people need love and understanding, and if it is a family member suffering with this disorder, it is your responsibility to learn everything that you can about it, and to find a support system for yourself. This is a physiological/psychological disorder that affects the release of chemicals in the brain. The best advice I can give anyone who is affected by this paralyzing disorder is...PLEASE find a support system for you and your loved one...and KEY to this is, learn everything that you can, learn the triggers and signs of an episode and most of all, lots of love and patience...and PLEASE stop labelling them as psycho etc. As someone who has a loved one affected by bipolar, I find it offensive when you do.

Best of luck to you and your daughter in the future.....you are a loving, compassionate Mom....
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 25
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she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/5/2008 5:40:47 PM

I honestly do not know what to do. i think the only thing i can do is step back
its his decision to let a woman come between him and his only daughter and ruin his life.

This is exactly the only thing you can do. The decisions that your dad has made are unfortunate and I am sorry that he has not acted as a proper parent toward you by putting you first but one of the things we figure out when we are adults is that our parents are people with faults and short-comings. My X is bipolar, 14 years of hell, and the only thing that makes someone with this condition "worse" than others is when they know they have it and fail to do anything about it, making everyone around them miserable when the situation could be improved.

You might want to consider changing your e-mail settings because I tried to message you privately and am outside your age range. If you looked at your father's behavior dispassionately you would probably conclude that he is an insecure man who needs a woman in his life so badly he would turn his back on virtually everyone else to have her.

As you noted, meds only help so much. For someone to really function well with bipolar they must also get therapy, recognize their problem and do something about it. You are right that this woman will likely not get better and if she does it will be a marginal improvement. If she truly has schizophrenia, the only way she can lead a moderately normal life is if she is on meds and keeping her on meds is virtually impossible because when they are well, they believe they can make it without the meds and take that downward spiral again. It is more likely that the fiance is bipolar with paranoid delusions. True schizophrenia is easy to spot and she would not have been able to function from about the age of 20 without the meds.

I hope that you learn a lesson that I am still grappling with at 44. You will never change your dad and he will never be the type of dad you wish you had. My problem is my mother and here is what I try to remember to do. You seem like a wise, thoughtful empathetic person. If you didn't have the connection to your dad you would probably feel for him. If you had not been hurt so badly by his fiance it would be easier for you to recognize the mental illness and forgive her behavior.

An exercise you can try that does not absolve her of responsibility but puts your head in the right place is to think of it like this. She is a damaged person. If someone yelled something inappropriate at you from a window you would be upset, right? What if that someone yelling from the window was known to be highly mentally unstable, you would be able to brush off the upsetting behavior by telling yourself the problems that the source of those comments has.

Since this woman doesn't appear to be going away, if you and the family brush off comments as originating with a crazy loon, they don't have as much power to hurt you. My X is bipolar and unfortunately all of the logical arguments on the planet will never change their thinking. You do what you need to for yourself. If this woman ruins every occasion then you are going to need to make decisions about whether you want your father there. My children are going to have to do this as they grow up because their dad ruins everything he comes into contact with so graduations, birthdays, births, all will have to consider whether they feel okay excluding him to avoid making the celebration a train wreck.

If your father asks why, tell him calmly and as lovingly as possible that he has chosen this individual with the problems she brings with her but you do not have to choose to include her in your life. In his own way I guess you could consider him mentally ill as well because no one normal chooses a mate over their children or allows an SO to behave so badly toward the children without intervening. And really, as much as her behavior has hurt you it is really his failure to stand for you and protect you that has hurt you the most so be honest about that and hold him responsible for his choices. Her behavior but his choices.

Sweetie I saw your repost and your quandry about the wedding. My daughter goes through this stuff with her dad, who has called her a biatch and a wh*re on more than one occasion. Part of her wants to never speak to him again and the other part of course still loves her dad and has not allowed her to make a complete break. The wedding is one day out of your life. I understand that you don't support the marriage and are very disappointed with your father but I try to encourage my children to do the right thing, not what the people involved probably deserve. If you go, you can make an early exit if it is horrible but still have done the decent thing. This is what I would tell my daughter but I would also tell her that if you just can't do it, that is okay because you have not created the situation. If he is going to marry her anyway, other than avoiding a shitty day, what does not going accomplish? Just consider whether you would regret more going or not going and follow your heart.
 Quazi 100
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 26
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she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/5/2008 6:06:44 PM
Spiffy Kat...


It was equally trying knowing during those times he turned off his feelings for me


Please try to understand that he didn't turn off his feelings for you....they weren't there...they had left the building....literally.

This is so easy for me to say, and so hard to do....I've been there too....don't take it personally....
 bigdaddy1965
Joined: 5/18/2007
Msg: 27
she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/5/2008 9:18:29 PM
hello there i want to say im bi-polar. so i do know what im talking about. i was diagnosed yrs ago with it. i can tell you it is a chemical in balnce in the brain. it can be caused by alot of things from being past on from a family member, to a head injury. mine was caused from high fevers and past on to me also. i can tell you it isnt easy for a person to deal with. i have to work on it everyday. i have to go to counceling for it. there is many diffrent levels of it to. it can be mild to server. i can tell you it has caused me alot of heartache. if you dont know anything about it. its hard to understand until you learn about it. yes people can be so mean that have it or they can be real nice. for my self i had to learn when to find a hole and crawl in it until i can pull my self out of it. yes i take meds for it. yes it can cause problems in the work place. but really there is alot of nice people out there that funtion well. the ones that dont are the ones that choose not to deal with it. the thing that really bothers me is we have had a label put on us which makes people think the worst about us. now it has to be worked on as awhole just not left on the person who has it to deal with it. its like a marriage it takes both to see it and work on it for if not its dumed from the start. yes i do date yes i do have problems but even normal people have problems. so with that i will say i hope all who reads this will stop and think even our president linclin had it and he handle it well.
 bigdaddy1965
Joined: 5/18/2007
Msg: 28
she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/5/2008 9:22:23 PM
yes i agree with you on that 100% they can live productive lives bitohoney
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 29
she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/5/2008 9:33:34 PM
~OP~ I'll leave the clinical diagnosis stuff out of this, since you aren't really needing more that what you already have to digest, but on the note of your father??? I am not quite sure it's "her" that is doing some of the damage. Sadly, it sounds like he is allowing the controlling behaviors, which doesn't allow him "victim" status, it allows him "participating in a rotten situation" status. You're a victim once, after that ~ it's a conscious choice to allow behaviors to continue with a spouse, friend, child, parent, co-worker, etc. There won't be any way to get through to him, I'm afraid. Sounds like he's picked sides already. I think you are right ~ back away. Distance sometimes gives people we love the time/space and wherewithall to wonder, "Hmmm ~ why isn't _________(insert you name here) around anymore?" You are so very in-tune with the situation, kudos on that note. Good luck to ya'.
 _Icon_
Joined: 5/18/2008
Msg: 31
she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/5/2008 11:32:47 PM

You're a victim once, after that ~ it's a conscious choice to allow behaviors to continue with a spouse, friend, child, parent, co-worker, etc.


Absolutely.
 Sidewinder_Bob
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 32
she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/5/2008 11:40:23 PM
""I know that this person is not evil - but it's the disease that is evil"

Evil is evil no matter how you wanna spin it and I really likes LukinRnd reply alot of these A-holes male and female need a serious good kick in the ass or possibly in there fricked up head.......

And I stand by my advise if you have a choice get the hell away from these people life's to short to deal with scum bags whom can't help themselves or maybe they can help themselves but treat other's like crap anyway.......

Fricken Phyco's yea you heard me... lol allright I concede on one point I'm sure they are all not exremely bad or evil but the ones that are RUN.........
 ALEX626
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 34
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she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/6/2008 3:45:16 AM
Posted By: saveyourself69

"They are not nice people they are only nice in the beginning to suck you in or they are nice if they feel they are going to lose you other then that there manipulative bi*ch's that any normal sane person should avoid for there own sanity..."

I was with my wife for 9 years and 6 of then we were married,I found out that she was bipolarisn the frist year (I KNOW ASK MYSELF WHY DID I JUST NOT LEAVE THEN) for the next 8 years it was hell it was ok for her to say stuff about my mom,my son,and all ways putting me done ever time she would make her self look good it's like now about 7 months she just got up and left I come to find out she was see other guy she made every one belive that I was be jelase and that she would never do any like that .
Now she is trying to suck in agian but to no luck she was served with the Divorced papers and child custody she must give up full custody of our 2 year old baby.
My life is a lot better now that I don't see or be next to my ex-wife life got better now!
I can say that saveyourself69 said it right that any normal sane person should avoid for there own sanity you need not to help her but help your dad before he lose he's santiy !!!!!!!!!!

"Love is blind you know they are sick but the love you have for them makes you go blind to see all hurt they do us "
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