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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Do people really have time to date??      Home login  
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 breath~
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 2
Do people really have time to date??Page 1 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
I'm retired. Need I say more?
 Celticmist
Joined: 2/1/2005
Msg: 3
Do people really have time to date??
Posted: 8/6/2008 5:48:17 AM
I have heard the same complaint from my men friends here. It's sad that some always seem to be busy and forget that life should be lived and enjoyed. No one ever puts on their tombstones - beloved worker for Acme Co. Ltd.
 five-marie
Joined: 7/9/2007
Msg: 6
Do people really have time to date??
Posted: 8/6/2008 6:24:50 AM
I guess it's a good thing single people aren't sitting around and are keeping busy. I did date a man for a couple of years who didn't seem to have time for a relationship. He made the time in the beginning then went back to his usual way of life. Busy 6am till 7pm. So exhausted that when I did see him he was falling asleep. I refuse to be on the bottom of anyone's list of priorities so I ended it.
No idea why anyone would pursue a relationship if they don't have or are unwilling to make the time.
 sam-spade
Joined: 12/2/2007
Msg: 7
Do people really have time to date??
Posted: 8/6/2008 6:25:51 AM
Sure we do. But we get caught up in the life we're living. I've heard many friends who quit smoking say things like "god... I don't know where I found the time to smoke". I've quit twice for about 4 years and two years and can in all honestly say that I was way too busy to smoke. To actually stop what I was doing just to light up!? Oh.. we're talking about time to date eh? Well same thing folks.

Now that I'm not actively dating (I date, but I don't power date), I constantly wonder how I could possibly have the time to date a woman regularly, let alone have a relationship. But I know for a fact, that there would be tons of time if I met the right one. As would you.
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 9
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Do people really have time to date??
Posted: 8/6/2008 6:48:35 AM
Funny this post comes up? I was just thinking the same thing this past couple of weeks. Between a demanding job, kids and a house to run on my own, my time is in fact limited when I think about dating. But? Sammy is right on the money. I know in my heart that when I meet someone I have an avid interest in, I will make the time and be darned happy to do it. In the interim, all this b.s. about not having the time is simply a cover up for our not having met someone who we find appealing! Ouch! That is enough soul searchin for this chickee today! That hurt!
 breath~
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 11
Do people really have time to date??
Posted: 8/6/2008 6:51:45 AM
What you said here is probably quite true for a majority of people, moonchild...
In the interim, all this b.s. about not having the time is simply a cover up for our not having met someone who we find appealing!
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 13
Do people really have time to date??
Posted: 8/6/2008 8:09:38 AM
It's kind of a vicious cycle, huh? You are lonely, so you fill up your time with activities, but then you have obligations and don't have time for a man in your life. I'm there right now. A man would have to wait until the end of the three sports seasons in order to have more time with me.
 bonniebrownap
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 16
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Do people really have time to date??
Posted: 8/6/2008 9:28:10 AM
I think about this all the time. With me, it is the fact that for so long, I have been going 100 mph making a life for myself since divorcing. I sat around for a year waiting on men to call and was very lonely. So, I got up, got dressed and got a life. I am interested in finding someone to spend my life with. I try to explain to men that it will take me a little time to slow down and include them in my life. I'm willing to put in the time and effort it takes to get to know someone. I just refuse to sit at home waiting on a phone call. Another thing about this topic.... I find it easier to include someone in my life if they ask me out a few days in advance. Please, don't wait till that day to see if I would like to go out. Because, chances are, I've got up, got dressed and got a life.
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 17
Do people really have time to date??
Posted: 8/6/2008 9:39:55 AM
Actually this is sorta funny, you start off lonely so you find things to do to keep from being lonely which means you dont have time to date to find someone to keep from being lonely
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 19
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Do people really have time to date??
Posted: 8/6/2008 9:57:47 AM
Cute......

Maybe we need to rename what many of us do and not call it "dating"?

I know that once you meet someone that is nice, the normal sequence of events usually involve all the "wine and dine" activities, clubs, concerts, on and on, at a pace that is hard for many to keep up when working, taking care of children and other family members, and your home.

Sometimes we just convince ourselves that we are to busy to do this "all" the time, so we cut most things out and end up not dating at all.......

What I try to do now is more of not having the "grand escapade" of full frontal activities when with someone, to a more relaxed, let's find ways to be together and know each other better without all the "normal" dating plans that were so common when younger and not having many responsibilities.

Meeting for a drink at a "patio bar", or for a relaxed dinner once a week, and other times just going to each others home and cooking together, sitting on the deck with some wine, renting or buying a movie to watch together, and things like that.

All this allows the two of you quality time, while still giving you the chance to take care of all those other details so needed when you children, family, work, and house chores as well.

The "let's go out" every time together, or every weekend, just creates a "time crunch", and "planning crunch", to the point that many just decide to not do anything when it comes to dating.

Just my opinion.......
 ~Sunrise_Walker~
Joined: 4/14/2008
Msg: 23
Do people really have time to date??
Posted: 8/6/2008 10:41:32 AM
I think that for some of us who are retired, we've filled our lives up with so much fun stuff that it sometimes gets in the way of dating. I keep saying I want to meet a nice man. But then, when I hear from them, it's really hard for me to fit in time to actually meet anyone!

I volunteer at least one day a week. I have exercise classes two days a week. I'm reading two books, working on my life story for my family and descendants, and still trying to write that great novel! Not to mention trying to get all of my poems together, write more, and try to publish that! Plus my social activities, which are not that much right now. How I ever had time to work, I'll never know. And as I sit at this computer working on my writing, I keep jumping in and out of POF! I seem to always find time for that.

So, sometimes I ask myself do I really want a man in my life? I think I do, and I will know for sure, once I meet him. Once he sweeps me off my feet and takes my breath away, I think I'll have time for him. And it's a given that he will have to make time for me! Or else, I'll still be as happy as I am now, doing what I do now.
 Ahoytheredave
Joined: 8/29/2006
Msg: 25
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Do people really have time to date??
Posted: 8/6/2008 11:30:50 AM
Time is certainly an issue for me. For that reason, I look for someone who shares enough common interests to spend time together.
 bonniebrownap
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 26
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Do people really have time to date??
Posted: 8/6/2008 12:21:39 PM
Is there anyone out there that is willing to call a truce? I'll make time for you if you make time for me. This is a simple solution. I have vowed to put my own needs above all others and willing to include someone in my life that I connect with. My family is important but not put above my personal needs. God first, mate second, family third. P.S. Still not willing to stay at home waiting for a man to call.
 bcsofnc57
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 27
Do people really have time to date??
Posted: 8/6/2008 1:31:18 PM
I have plenty of time to date, but haven't found anyone I want to date lately. People make time for what they really want to do.
 lostinthemusic
Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 30
Do people really have time to date??
Posted: 8/6/2008 2:55:13 PM
I was just in the same sort of situation, I was dating a man who works so much, afternoons,evenings, all weekend,etc. and I work days....that I have decided that I want more of a relationship than a couple of hours here and there and a 4 minute phonecall a day. I haven't been able to say that after 2 and a half months of seeing him, that I hardly know him much better than when we first met. I met him in real time, not of POF...I am left just shaking my head, and ready to move on....It really is sad that he is so busy that living life is passing him by.
 Twisted Sister
Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 31
Do people really have time to date??
Posted: 8/6/2008 4:10:52 PM
If I had no time to date, I wouldn't be putting up a dating profile. I changed mine last year because I didn't have any time but, now that I have more time and things have settled down, I have put myself back in the field. What's the sense in meeting someone who has no time for you? Are you supposed to sit on the shelf waiting for he/she to find 10 minutes in their busy schedule to spend with you? No thanks !! If they're too busy, I'm not going to waste my time waiting on them and date someone who isn't so busy.
 AgelessWonder
Joined: 4/12/2006
Msg: 32
Do people really have time to date??
Posted: 8/6/2008 7:20:00 PM
I think that is putting the cart before the horse. First you got to get a date, then you WILL find the time.

If I have all this time with nothing to do just waiting for a date, I will wither away. LOL

In the meantime, I keep busy. Works for me!
 grapevine
Joined: 10/2/2005
Msg: 35
Do people really have time to date??
Posted: 8/6/2008 8:13:57 PM
I might have, if I wasn't answering these forum questions all the time. hehe
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 37
Do people really have time to date??
Posted: 8/7/2008 1:04:17 AM
I met a guy in February who was 2 1/2 hours away...we talked for weeks and he had to come to my town on business, so we got to meet....since then his company has sent him to Florida, California and several other states and he works thru the weekends, everywhere else but back to Knoxville, he is hating it but it pays his bills as he says.

Some people just dont have the time to date, and while talking to someone on yahoo, phone, email is ok after a while you just are like ok ...enough. I am sure he means well and one of the things he told me at the start was that all his friends are always giving him a hard time cause he is such a workaholic. Quess he will figure out this little fishy just swam away.
 Jeep24015mama
Joined: 7/20/2008
Msg: 41
Do people really have time to date??
Posted: 8/10/2008 8:46:11 AM
As someone who works a full time job during the day, types in my home in the evenings, and works 10 hours on the weekend, I still make the time for a date should someone show interest. I pretty much take Friday nite for me time, Saturday and Sunday evenings I am available. Any takers?
 Celticmist
Joined: 2/1/2005
Msg: 42
Do people really have time to date??
Posted: 8/10/2008 8:56:00 AM
I think there are a few reasons people don't make time for another person - fear, shyness, they are just not interested in you, you aren't a priority to them, not sure what they really want.

I think if you are really interested in finding someone, you expand your chances by
1) getting out to the events in your area
2) attending social functions with friends and family
3) meet people off here as soon as possible instead of emailing them for months and building up fantasies about them
 choirdiva
Joined: 7/15/2008
Msg: 43
Do people really have time to date??
Posted: 8/10/2008 9:01:44 AM
I know this sounds trite, but I think you make time for the things that are important to you. I recently changed my whole schedule and quit one of my jobs, so that I could have one-on-one time with each of my kids. I have to say that it's been REALLY difficult to adjust to, but, they both love it.

If I ever find a man who intrigues me enough, and is interesting and sexy enough, I'm sure that I'll make time for that relationship. By the same token, that person would be sensitive to my schedule and commitments, as I would be to his. And, we would also both be thinking outside the box to make time for each other. If a schedule seems impossible, then it's running your life, instead of the other way around.

Time is the most precious gift you have. Make it work for you.
 cloud9mn
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 44
Do people really have time to date??
Posted: 8/10/2008 9:12:37 AM
My life is fairly full, but even so I'm sure I could free up one evening a week to spend with someone! And it could be more than that if the person were willing to do something like go for a bike ride, a walk, whatever, on a week night. It is not so much that I have a bunch of scheduled commitments during the week - I just have a commitment to keeping physical activity in my life.

I know it's way more difficult for the folks who have kids at home. But it is hard to really develop a friendship with someone if they are only free to get together once a month!
 meegway
Joined: 11/19/2006
Msg: 45
Do people really have time to date??
Posted: 8/10/2008 1:17:37 PM
Personally I won't really have time to date as I'll be starting college in September. The course I'm taking was a 2 year course condensed into 45 weeks. Needless to say I'll be attending some days until 2000 and 2100 hrs so the schedule will be hectic. This is why I have stated dating rather than long term as I'm not currently looking for my ideal partner. Dating someone would be a nice relief from the studying but if someone caught my attention I wouldn't pass up the opportunity to meet my equal. If I meet that special someone I'm sure I could find sacrifices to make in order to spend quality time with them.
 ~Lizzi~
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 48
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Do people really have time to date??
Posted: 8/10/2008 4:00:46 PM
I am in a new relationship with a man who has a 15 yr old daughter and a 19 yr old son. He is also in a profession with very rigid schedules. We discussed right up front (and agreed) how our relationship would be, in the sense that he is very involved in his children's sports and as a coach has to be at all their games and practices. My children are grown and one is married so I am totally un-encumbered, whereas he is only available at certain times. I remember what it was like when my children were in their teens and how demanding they were. As long as I know he wants to be with me whenever he can and enjoys being with me, I am ok with his priority being his children at this point. If I were to make unreasonable demands on him now, our relationship might not survive. Maybe that makes me sound too accommodating, but he is a very decent man and just "rocks my world", so I accept that he has responsibilities that don't include me. I certainly don't feel "used" since I also have a busy life and many good friends, so there is a happy balance. I believe compromise is an important part of ANY relationship.
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