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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > What makes women physically horny - Mental or physical stimulation?      Home login  
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 croemita
Joined: 5/27/2008
Msg: 4
What makes women physically horny - Mental or physical stimulation?Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
You know,( and I'm sure I'm not alone on this) sometimes it's as much a mystery to us as it is to you men. I know for a fact that my libido is intimately tied to my ovulatory cycle. There are times of the month where the merest scent of a man will take me from my baseline of "warm" to "OMFG I'm so close". Granted most women due to today's modern hormonal birth control don't necessarily work this way (ovulation is suppressed and this normal physiologic response to estrogen/testosterone peaks is abolished).

I think you're looking for a more concrete answer than "I was just horny that day" though. To which I respond, women are aural, sensual creatures. Where men are turned on by visual stimulus, women tend to require more than just a pretty face and a hot bod. Which is why the clever Casanova's of the world have learned to progressively touch a woman and speak to her in a tone of voice that is simultaneously sexy but not necessarily saying "sexy" things.

A comment about "progressive touch". This was famously described in the "Mystery Method" as a means for getting a woman to sleep with you. While I disagree with the ends, the means are profoundly useful. As you might know, the whole female body is capable of becoming an erogenous zone. So men who employ this often succeed where other, richer, more physically attractive suitors fail. Think of a woman as you would a mean cat at your friends house. You're trying to win over this creature and have it come sit on your lap. Patting it on the head will only enrage the animal and render your subsequent BEST attempts useless. BUT, speak softly, in soothing voice, then progress from touching "safe" parts 1) the back 2)tail to perhaps s3)scratch behind the ears.

Apply this analogy to women, open up conversation, speak in casual tones and progress from touching her back between the shoulders (a "safe" zone) to maybe the small of her back (a great move if she needs "help" getting off a barstool!). Alternatively going from the elbow to the hand, or the shoulder to the neck. Make up excuses for these things ie. I wanted to get a better look at your necklace, or let me help you out from your chair.

Players are intuitively good at this, but it is certainly a learnable skill and frighteningly effective when employed correctly. Something about being touched in these ways seems to set women into a pathway of "hey this guy digs me ---> we need to get naked STAT" I've seen my guy friends do this and we even tested it head to head 1)hot guy-no touching vs 2)OK guy - progressive touch. Guess who got laid that night? you got it, NUMERO Dos.

Try it out tonight and like I said, the analogy of the mean cat, for whatever reason seems to get the right effect from even the most thick-headed of men.

cheers!
 TheOneWho_
Joined: 3/22/2007
Msg: 6
What makes women physically horny - Mental or physical stimulation?
Posted: 8/6/2008 1:43:11 PM

Try it out... the analogy of the mean cat
What you say makes a lot of sense.

However, I have no desire to bed a woman who brings to mind the image of a mean cat!
 windloverr
Joined: 2/29/2008
Msg: 9
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What makes women physically horny - Mental or physical stimulation?
Posted: 8/6/2008 1:59:52 PM
Attraction in mental; arousal is mental; mind blowing sex is mental; copulation is physical.


I see a nice looking women and one of my first thoughts is how can I get her cloths off for close quarters physical gratification. I don't need the psychological stimuli like compliments compliments or have romance.
Dude, you just shot yourself in the foot regarding getting a date. I'm not picturing a lot of women reading this on your profile and thinking "Whoa, I got me one now!"
 grapevine
Joined: 10/2/2005
Msg: 11
What makes women physically horny - Mental or physical stimulation?
Posted: 8/6/2008 2:05:08 PM
" always understood that women are turned on by compliments, romantic guestures, and other mental stimuli ..."

Well, I must be an oddball, then, because I'm not the LEAST BIT "turned on" by any of that. I appreciate compliments, romantic gestures and other mental stimuli, of course! But that does not make me "horny."

What makes me horny is simply because I'm a woman, and women get horny. It's a natural process. It doesn't take money; it doesn't take gifts; it doesn't take compliments. It simply just happens, same way a guy getting turned on happens. Although I guess a difference would be I don't get turned on just because I happen to see a handsome hunk; I can see 800 of them and still not be "turned on." But show me a man I lust after? Doesn't matter if he's, by comparison to the "hunks," older, less attractive and less physically fit, it's HIM that gets me weak in the knees...and elsewhere. Just something about certain men I've known that drove me wild with desire for them. And there's no pinpointing "why," no common denominator, per se. Just "chemistry," I guess.

Oh. And I never want to be "pounded." You "pound" a sidewalk with a jackhammer; you don't "pound" women.
 Hawk8414
Joined: 7/19/2008
Msg: 13
What makes women physically horny - Mental or physical stimulation?
Posted: 8/6/2008 3:00:04 PM
For me ,it's mental, the physical part comes later.
 TravelingHomebody
Joined: 6/7/2008
Msg: 14
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What makes women physically horny - Mental or physical stimulation?
Posted: 8/6/2008 4:57:35 PM
Ask a married woman what her husband can do to get her hot and she'll say, "Take out the trash!"

Women like to feel cherished and appreciated. Things that do that will turn them on.

Paradoxically, the best thing you can do long-term to stoke her fires is to take NO for an answer.

When she says she's not interested in The Deed and you persist, you're telling her, "I don't give two farts in a windstorm about you as a human being. You exist purely to provide me with physical gratification. Now, get down to doing the only thing I keep you around for." Why not just dump a bucket of chilled pig guts on her? It'll have the same effect as far as your chances of getting her interested in you.

But when she says she's not interested and you move on -- either to do your own thing (watch football, read a book, whatever) or to do something else with her (play Scrabble, watch TV) -- you're telling her that she is more to you than just someplace to stick your willie. And women have LONG memories. Next time you're making your move, she's gonna remember how thoughtful and considerate you were last time you approached her. In fact, you might find out that ten minutes later she IS in the mood, in large part because your gesture of respect made her feel loved.
 867love
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 15
What makes women physically horny - Mental or physical stimulation?
Posted: 8/6/2008 5:05:51 PM
What makes women physically horny - Mental or physical stimulation?

neither:
about three drinks should work
 Leeanne
Joined: 10/14/2005
Msg: 16
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What makes women physically horny - Mental or physical stimulation?
Posted: 8/6/2008 5:24:09 PM
Geeze everything makes me horny!!! I adore sex sooooooooo much that I simply have to think of it and I'm off to the races!! As well the sight and thought of my hubby makes me... hhhhmmmm!!!
 windloverr
Joined: 2/29/2008
Msg: 17
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What makes women physically horny - Mental or physical stimulation?
Posted: 8/6/2008 5:32:26 PM

Ask a married woman what her husband can do to get her hot and she'll say, "Take out the trash!"


That and a strand of pearls.
 ~~~PlayNice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 18
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What makes women physically horny - Mental or physical stimulation?
Posted: 8/6/2008 5:34:57 PM
depending on the day it could be a combination of either. usually when i see a sexy guy dancing and he actually has rhythm, i'm already picturing him naked. horseback riding does it, or if i hug him and he smells great, my panties are wet! yes, i know i'm vulgar. i like that about me.

the person i'm with now has conditioned me to that if he pulls my hair from the back, in public, i'm dying til we get home. or if talks in my ear like he does when we're 'interacting' discreetly, i lose all focus until we get home. something different for everybody. oh yeah, and porn works every time!
 The All Amazing Geek Girl
Joined: 7/12/2007
Msg: 22
What makes women physically horny - Mental or physical stimulation?
Posted: 8/6/2008 8:40:49 PM
Mental stimuli work better. My personal is a man who washes dishes or does house work for me so I can take a break after a long day.

The physical stimuli is quite rare. They have to be my type right down to the shape of their eyebrows and tone of voice to be physically stimulating with me not knowing anything about them.

So I would say the split is 99% mental 1%physical.
 manip
Joined: 3/17/2008
Msg: 29
What makes women physically horny - Mental or physical stimulation?
Posted: 8/8/2008 11:34:48 PM
girls that think like that are hoes
 Trishaxxo
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 30
What makes women physically horny - Mental or physical stimulation?
Posted: 8/9/2008 2:08:40 AM
Haha ok I dont know about other women but compliments and romantic gestures turning me on? Um highly unlikely. Although I guess there are a few things a guy can do verbally to turn someone on I think for the most part getting in the mood involves physical actions. But the mental aspect does play an important part in having sex in another way for women, it's the determining factor that decides IF they want you in their pants or not. It also later paves the way for developing a strong emotional connection, which translates ultimately into better sex.
 JustMary65
Joined: 5/26/2008
Msg: 31
What makes women physically horny - Mental or physical stimulation?
Posted: 8/9/2008 11:23:43 AM
Hmmmmmmmmm.....I would think it's a culmination of both things-mental stimulation along with some physical stimulation. Honestly, if I saw a hot guy walking down the street I don't necessarily get 'horny' but I might think 'yeah-I'd like me a peice of that!' Sometimes I'm just horny cuz I want to have sex-the need for that physical interaction can set my panties on fire-but it's usually associated with a visual thought in my mind about a person I've had an intimate encounter with. Fornicating is a pleasurable sensation for most people and if you have an active sex life-my guess is you get horny with lil provocation.

I do know it's not so much the things the manfriend does for me in the way of gifts-trinkets-compliments but rather that LOOK he gives me with them eyes-or a soft caress of my skin or a slow soft kiss-now that would give me the hornies immediately. Sometimes it's the scent of skin-a particular cologne he wears that prompts an onset of the hornies. Waves of passion come and go-when I'm horny I make no bones about it-just grab hin-toss em on the bed and go for the zipper to free the monster. LOL-it works for me most of the time -heheehee
 fun_and_music
Joined: 3/17/2008
Msg: 32
What makes women physically horny - Mental or physical stimulation?
Posted: 8/12/2008 11:58:44 PM
I do get the immediate physical stimulation. When I see good-looking men I often do get horny. I also very much do by physical stimulation when the guy I'm with is touching me. I suppose mental works too, but I notice more that certain attitudes can be more of a turn-off in a guy who I'd normally find attractive. I suppose the opposite could be true as well. If a guy who I would NOT normally find attractive had a great (to me) attitude, he could turn me on as well.
 flghtwings
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 33
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What makes women physically horny - Mental or physical stimulation?
Posted: 8/13/2008 12:20:38 AM
I think we're overlookig the mechanical devices out there that can arouse the female sexual response. Of all of these, I find the most sucessful to be the Mercede 450 SL Convertible...
 Blondecharmthe3rd
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 34
What makes women physically horny - Mental or physical stimulation?
Posted: 8/13/2008 10:33:55 AM
In a very short answer to the OP.... BOTH! I have been physically drawn to someone with one look, I have been wet to my knees talking with someone I enjoy.
 maxhall
Joined: 12/31/2006
Msg: 36
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What makes women physically horny - Mental or physical stimulation?
Posted: 8/18/2008 8:17:55 PM
I have found that most of what has been said before works to differing extents with different women. If I were to overly-simplify this thing about attraction however, I would say that CONFIDENCE is the single most effective trait that gets women wooing. How you display confidence is another matter and whether a woman notices your particular display of confidence or not is largely dependent on what she finds attractive (her personal preferences in mates). Some men display this through the way they dress and carry themselves, some by the pride they take in caring for themselves (especially paying attention to details), some by the way they talk (not necessarily what they say), some by the way they interact with women (giving off an aura of "I LIKE your company...I don't NEED it"), some by how they interact with people in general showing that they are sure of who they are and what they stand for and make no apologies for it...etc etc etc

In the end, women are drawn to men that they, on a primal level, feel safe with. This feeling is most commonly evoked by men that are themselves confident about their own abilities, and secure in who they are.

Wealth, chiseled & cute faces, nice hair, prestigious jobs, popularity, olympic gold medals, nice racy cars etc etc all help....simply because we (men) use these things to reassure ourselves that we matter, and it is in this reassurance that our confidence is borne out. And so it is that it is easy for one to attribute to attraction to the above-mentioned stuff, and not the real underlying factor....CONFIDENCE
 Justlooking01696
Joined: 5/25/2009
Msg: 38
What makes women physically horny - Mental or physical stimulation?
Posted: 6/7/2009 2:05:07 AM
Well, I'm reading through these posts and it seems that different women seem to be saying different things. And there's your answer. You said yourself that "most guys seem to operate this way." There does seem to be a direct "unmental" connection between a guy's eyeballs and his "nether regions." That may seem physical, but it's really just unconscious... like a Pavlovian response. Similarly, women have a "Pavlovian response" mechanism in place... But, I wouldn't call it mental or conscious. It seems to be more of a direct connection between our "feelings" and our "nether regions." And there are a myriad of things that can stimulate a woman's feelings, which is why each woman is saying something a little different. A hot, hard body definitely can create trigger the feeling of admiration, as can a man's success, his accomplishments, his power, his clothes!! It's an unconscious reaction. And it depends on the woman, her experiences and her taste on what will affect her. Also, compliments (from a man she finds attractive!), thoughtfulness, consideration, these can affect different women in different ways depending on how she feels about the man and what these actions mean to her... and the grand daddy of them all... being in love... (which is why many woman don't like having sex unless they are in love - it causes the greatest affect on the feelings) all of these things affect the way a woman feels... which can affect her physical desire. But even a woman's physical desire is experienced differently than a man's.

One of the biggest differences between men and women, though, is that for most women, initial arousal causes a woman to want to be touched all over her entire body, NOT her genitalia, usually (barring differences because of her cycle, her age and sexual experience, length of time since her last orgasm, etc.). And when she is touched on her body when she is experiencing physical desire for a man, even this physical stimulation is often felt in the "feelings to genital" nerve connections. Since arousal usually causes immediate desire for genital stimulation in men, some men mistakenly believe it must be the same for women. And it just simply is not the case for most women most of the time. To better understand female arousal, imagine if it took days of communication and building a connection and then a half hour or more of kissing and bodily stimulation for your "member" to slowly become erect... and it was not as sensitive to touch prior to becoming fully erect!! Yeah, you would want more kissing and caressing, too, before you wanted anyone to start groping you "down there."

So, arousal is "grown" in a woman over time by a man, whether it's over weeks, day, or hours by different ways her feelings are stimulated (including physical stimulation). And for a sexually experienced woman, arousal can also "grow" on its own with no male stimulation whatsoever. This is why they say that men are like microwaves and women are like crock pots!
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 39
What makes women physically horny - Mental or physical stimulation?
Posted: 6/7/2009 8:45:59 AM

when they see a new guy, they do not usually say to themselves, "wow, I want him inside me now".


Huh? They don't? Since when?

I'm not big on romance. In my world, if you dig me and you keep coming back to be with me.. whether for sex or just plain old because you want to hang out with me.. I get the "You're into me message" loud and clear. Also.. if you tell me you're into me.. Well. I get the message, too.

Any sweet, kind, romantic stuff you do is just icing to me. Once I realize it's happening, because between you and me and the hundreds who'll read this thread.. I'm terribly oblivious to the little gestures one makes when they like you. It's not on purpose, but I still. There it is.

When I see someone I want/like, I generally react (in my head or to my friends) the same as a man does (ie: "Oh god, I so want a piece of that!" or some such).
 DAVE632
Joined: 6/17/2006
Msg: 42
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What makes women physically horny - Mental or physical stimulation?
Posted: 6/7/2009 10:28:59 AM
croemita, interesting analysis. I'll have to do some research on that.

My trouble has always been I'm not all that fond of cats (don't hate 'em just feel closer to dogs) and whenever I go to a house with a cat I sit on a couch and the cat lies across the back of my shoulders and licks my head, purrrrs and rubs my ears until I feel (and probably smell) like a friggin sardine!! I can go "shooo" at them and they just close their eyes with a "I love you too" look and keep going. The owners grab them and put them on the floor. The cats hiss at them and climb back where they were or in my lap.

If only I could have the same effect on women.

It is nice to see so many of the regulars expressing their inner feelings when it cums to this subject. The one thing that stands out with them is that they are AWARE. They have analyzed their own feelings and are OK with how they get turned on and accept their sexuality. I do believe that alone is THE biggest factor in women learning to actually ENJOY sex. SO many women never achieve that. Sad.

OK, here's a backwards scenario. I have, in the past, developed several LONG DISTANCE relationships. We communicate via email (usually on a subject dear to my heart / thumbs ) and it progresses to phone calls. Rarely do we ever have phone sex but the relationship builds until we HAVE TO MEAT! The sexual tension at that point is solid as a wall and all the fantasies and desires we have discussed over the previous weeks or months have to be crammed into 2 or 3 days together. Usually a spectacular time is had (I don't do this a lot) but I know there is a physical let down from the mental level of arousal that preceded the actual meeting. After several meetings the reality of long distance settles over the affair and we slowly drift apart - always (so far) with very warm and loving best wishes that we both have a happy lives. We just realize that due to age or distance it can't continue. Mostly techniques are learned so that when they hook up with their next SO they can teach them what we had so much fun researching.

So in these (rare) cases ALL the early stimulation comes from the mental side. There is NO physical contact for weeks or months. It, initially, is ALL emails and then phone calls but the emails continue. Obviously what we write back and forth instills not just sexual arousal and expectation but it eliminates all or almost all common sense or caution when you think of two people hooking up for the very first time. It is great to be able to get to know somebody THAT well but it has baffled me that smart, worldly-wise women are comfortable - eager even- to throw caution to the wind and believe and trust their feelings based on emails and phone calls. SO not only is there the reverse of the usual visual then physical there is the trust issues that develop to the point that they trust me completely and I trust them. SOme would say we were both nuts but so far it has worked out wonderfully albeit briefly.
 farscapeprincess
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 45
What makes women physically horny - Mental or physical stimulation?
Posted: 6/7/2009 11:08:48 PM
I can get hot just thinking about sex -- thus horny.
 jojoaus
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 46
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What makes women physically horny - Mental or physical stimulation?
Posted: 6/8/2009 1:29:08 AM
I'm just trying to think what does it for me now I am in a long-term but temporarily LDR. I love and am loved by my SO, we have a wonderful sex life yadda yadda. So what turns me on about him, when I like both the physical and mental sides of what we have? Why do I get turned on simply texting/emailing him? I'm guessing its the denial factor... absence making the heart grow fonder? What if you are living with the love of your life ... how do you determine the horny factor there? Maybe its familiarity breeding anything BUT contempt! It really is a great subject....
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 48
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What makes women physically horny - Mental or physical stimulation?
Posted: 6/8/2009 4:42:44 AM
For me.......it starts w/ mental stimulation.
If I don't connect with you mentally in some way.......then none of the "physical" is going to work in getting me horny. Doesn't matter how good looking, how great your body, how much money you make, how you kiss or touch me, it's not going to happen unless you have stimulated my brain first.
A sense of humor will get my motor running alot faster than a 6pk ab.
 867love
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 49
What makes women physically horny - Mental or physical stimulation?
Posted: 6/8/2009 4:46:40 AM
alot of good girls out there saying they don't

(they lie )

if you asked 100 women "what really turns them on? you'd get 100 different answers

smelling great and kissing her just the right way gets your foot in the door, it's up to you to figure out the rest of the way to get her to choose you
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