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 lateef7842
Joined: 4/14/2008
Msg: 1
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How would sudden wealth change your dating style.Page 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Sometimes, my friends and I come up with these crazy dating scenarios. Sometimes they are funny, sometimes they are serious. I thought I'd post one here and see what the "world" at large thinks about it. Here's the first one.

You suddenly become a very rich person. Not just well off, but obscenely wealthy. Like Bill Gates money. You get the drift. How would having all this money change your dating style or practices?

For me, I'd keep that a secret from anyone I'd date from that point on. I'd have a "dating" house or apartment to take dates to. It would be very modest. Very working middle class kind of dwelling. I'd also keep my current vehicle. There would be no trace of wealth about me.

Then, once I saw that money wasn't an issue for her (after a few months of us being an exclusive couple), I'd let her know the real deal. Dishonest? Yes. But in a situation like that, how else could you screen out the "gold diggers?"

So, once again, how money affect your dating life?

If I've posted this in the wrong forum, I apologize. I put it in "Dating Experiences" because it concerns a supposed "what if" dating experience. So, bare with me if I've "effed up."

Lateef
 Icestorm
Joined: 1/15/2007
Msg: 2
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How would sudden wealth change your dating style.
Posted: 8/8/2008 7:04:18 PM
I've heard a theory that says that people who are worried that they are liked only for their money, themselves believe that is their only value.
 aSydneyMale
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 3
How would sudden wealth change your dating style.
Posted: 8/8/2008 7:27:12 PM
It wouldn't change my style much at all, I was only just saying to my butler Jeeves the other day.... no, wait, just kidding!

Seriously though, sudden wealth wouldn't change the way I live too much. I would have a modest house and perhaps an apartment in the city. I don't need fancy cars, plasma screens or superficial friends, I would make sure my sons were looked after and I would hang out with exactly the same people I do now.

The tough question is, who would I tell about this fabulous new-found wealth? Not many I would think. If I was dating a woman, when would I tell her? Probably when we had the 'exclusivity' chat, by this time hopefully we would know enough about each other to talk openly and honestly about a future together.
 ________
Joined: 12/24/2006
Msg: 4
How would sudden wealth change your dating style.
Posted: 8/8/2008 9:03:00 PM
Money changes EVERYTHING -- well almost everything... ones life span is perhaps increased by only about 5% by escaping poverty -- depending on geography -- but this is due to many complex inter-related factors.
 lateef7842
Joined: 4/14/2008
Msg: 5
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How would sudden wealth change your dating style.
Posted: 8/8/2008 10:16:50 PM


OP - good to know that you would start a relationship based on lies.


Wow, thats a little harsh don't you think? Let me ask you this, how else would you know if someone really likes you for you or for your money? I guess you think you can just ask, "Is it me or the moolla?" and they'll tell you the truth.

Yes, its a lie. But what other choice would you'd have? If it were that easy, rich people wouldn't need pre-nups

But, now you see the real issue. Being rich can be just as constrictive as it is liberating.

Lateef
 La Gioconda
Joined: 6/27/2008
Msg: 6
How would sudden wealth change your dating style.
Posted: 8/8/2008 10:24:10 PM
I am not so certain ~OP~ how to answer your question. From reading your original post I deduced that you believe you would still remain the same person and would like to continue same dating practices, making your date believe you are just an ordinary Joe Blo.
Well, I am not so sure about it, because I think you do not know how money would affect you either. This is only hypothetical situation, not real. In reality money changes everything, and it will change how you view yourself and in relationship to other people. Otherwise if you insist you want to appear same as usual, you maybe in denial of acquiring the wealth, and secondly insecure that a woman is interested in you only because of money.

On the other hand, providing you became a millionaire over night, some things would change drastically - your financial status, but on the other hand, money won't be able to buy you happiness, love, sense of security, peace of mind, wisdom... so, you will have to still figure it all out.

The moral of the story... no one really knows how this would affect anyone. I would like to think that I would buy a piece of nice property in a desirable location (by the ocean, or nearby), invest the rest, travel and put majority of my effort into Art making. As far as dating in concerned, I wouldn't worry what my date thinks of it, if he was a gold digger, I would know it, I would sense it.

On the other hand, I wouldn't necessarily want to date men with equal wealth. But I would imagine the pressure would be on me to keep higher life style, simply because I can. So, overall this could get complicated, because I could get tired of being responsible for keeping us well. Who knows how this would affect our relationship, my partner could very well get used to that, and enjoy the lifestyle with me, and other relationship issues could get swept under the carpet.... the more I think about it, the more complicated it gets. I rather stay where I am, I am much more comfortable with my situation.
 TheLimey
Joined: 2/24/2008
Msg: 7
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How would sudden wealth change your dating style.
Posted: 8/8/2008 10:55:42 PM
Bill Gates type money? Thats simple: I'd rent em by the day.
 Fried Chicken
Joined: 8/4/2008
Msg: 8
How would sudden wealth change your dating style.
Posted: 8/9/2008 3:13:52 AM
OMFG I would firstly put my money in secure Swiss accounts so that gold diggers can't get to it. I would get my own island; away from stupid US or Canadian laws.

I would also get a Lamborghini Reventon and abscond with the Russian ballet troupe. I would get my own private jet with hot strippers as air hostesses....(I am Iron Man).

Ooh Ooh... and I want a 100m Feadship or L├╝rssen motoryacht.

Oh oh..dating style? I would date Paris Hilton.
 Fried Chicken
Joined: 8/4/2008
Msg: 9
How would sudden wealth change your dating style.
Posted: 8/9/2008 3:37:24 AM
Ooh and I'll have my own reality TV show where a dozen hot women compete to be my main squeeze. And they'll be Hotter than the skanks on Bret Michael's Rock of Love. They'll be so hot that Paris Hilton would take one look at them and say, "That's Hawt!"

and I'll hire midget porn stars just to answer the door buck naked when the Latter Day Saints folks come knocking.

and I'll have my own top Sushi chef...and have a private table at the Nobu in NY.

And I'll adopt a dozen children from Nepal and have them trained in Ninjitsu so that they're my Gurkha Ninja body guards. If you're gonna adopt kids, might as well make them useful.

And I'll buy a gazillion condoms and tell those impoverished idiots who keep breeding poor starving kids to use them for christssakes.

I'm not gonna pussy foot around and act poor and stuff. What's the point of being mad rich if you're not gonna go nuts and have a blast.
 The01Exception
Joined: 12/31/2007
Msg: 10
How would sudden wealth change your dating style.
Posted: 8/9/2008 4:20:14 AM
That's easy... I'd keep doing what I'm doing- that is: going on normal dates like your average Jane to places that aren't greatly expensive like mini-golfing, or dinner at chili's, ice cream at Cold Stone etc.

My older brothers and I always talk about what we'd do if we got really rich. I always say I'd pay off my mom's house, give my dad and brothers a good chunk of money, create a trust fund for my future twins (yea... Twins run in my family), invest some of it, buy property in the case that the investments didn't pan out the way I wanted them to....

BASICALLY, I'd put my money into a lot of different things so that it wouldn't be readily available for me to spend frivolously, so that my fortune could grow and my great, great grandkids would say to their friends "well, my great, great grandmother was obscenely rich and her money is paying for my college, even though she's dead now. I love that woman." ... Gotta dream right?
 Pink Rose Lady
Joined: 10/1/2006
Msg: 11
How would sudden wealth change your dating style.
Posted: 8/9/2008 9:47:46 AM
I think you are deluding yourself. As you become accustomed to a different lifestyle that you could now afford, you shouldn't concern yourself about screening out gold diggers. Money is only a problem when there isn't enough to go around, when there is an excess of it, it should be managed, but it doesn't change who we really are.

To start off a new relationship based on presenting a false impression is not the way to go, my friend, it should be based on trust right from the get go, or it could be a no go.

Pink
 StarreGazer
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 12
How would sudden wealth change your dating style.
Posted: 8/9/2008 10:04:06 AM
If I obtained sudden wealth, I'd probably die of a heart attack from the sheer shock of it. I think that would radically change my dating style.
 m kaemicha
Joined: 8/4/2008
Msg: 13
How would sudden wealth change your dating style.
Posted: 8/9/2008 12:42:47 PM
I'd be incredibly cautious. I am already and no where near 'Gates' wealthy. It is very difficult to know what peoples intentions are and I'm afraid that that part of having money-the dating part, would be inhibiting for me.
 Bornnsyn
Joined: 5/21/2008
Msg: 14
How would sudden wealth change your dating style.
Posted: 8/9/2008 12:47:29 PM
Dating style? I would have to date first, lol ! I wouldn't advertise my wealth.
 aSydneyMale
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 15
How would sudden wealth change your dating style.
Posted: 8/9/2008 12:55:57 PM

Oh oh..dating style? I would date Paris Hilton.


Living proof money can't buy class. Why would you want to spend even a minute with an empty-headed skank like that?
 _countrygirl
Joined: 11/21/2007
Msg: 16
How would sudden wealth change your dating style.
Posted: 8/9/2008 1:02:45 PM
Oh I don't know ................maybe start out by going on a pay site for dating
 StarreGazer
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 17
How would sudden wealth change your dating style.
Posted: 8/9/2008 1:25:39 PM


Msg: 46 -- You mean there are actually women who are not Gold Diggers ? ...lol


There are times when I truly wonder. Then I think of my truly wonderful relationships. Then again, I think of the ones that were trash. And then, I just sit and wonder. Motives are rarely clear. Does love exist? I mean, does it REALLY EXIST? I see some evidence of it in the lives of others, but not in my own. So, again, I sit and wonder.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 18
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How would sudden wealth change your dating style.
Posted: 8/9/2008 1:29:23 PM
I would have more time to date because I would pick and choose my work based on the schedule I wanted to keep and would have a maid and a nanny.

I might also seriously consider boarding school or at least benefit from the real threat that boarding school would become.
 Seas_the_Day
Joined: 7/20/2008
Msg: 19
How would sudden wealth change your dating style.
Posted: 8/9/2008 1:52:25 PM

I do enjoy my own company so doing things on my own would not be a problem.
I feel the same way and I'd probably take myself on a long, long shopping trip !
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 20
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How would sudden wealth change your dating style.
Posted: 8/9/2008 2:01:12 PM
Move to Vegas, date one stripper a week (hey, I hear they're all just working their way through school) until I find that one with a heart of gold, and buy her her own pole.
 EpisodeIV
Joined: 6/28/2006
Msg: 21
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How would sudden wealth change your dating style.
Posted: 8/9/2008 2:36:15 PM
Difficult to say as no matter how well we think we know ourselves, that is a radical change. However, I would try to lay low at least for some time. Probably hire someone to help me manage the financial wealth and to put in safe yet accessible places. Give myself time to get used to it.

No doubt people around me, that know me, would notice that little bothers me anymore. Especially in the current work I do as I know I could bail at any time if I really got that fed up. I can imagine a lot more laughter at stuff that goes on around me. I might even buy the place I work, secretly if possible, as it has so much more potential.

A few upgrades would be in order but nothing terribly extravagant or over the top. A new vehicle for trips would be in order. But I would likely keep my old cars as they have been with me so long and reliably and I would still enjoy driving them. Inanimate objects, I know, but I tend to be rather loyal to those and its that have been around and with me regardless. I might use one of them for some dates. An '80's Volvo would get us to a restaurant just as well as the Aston Martin, Ferrari, Lamborghini, Lotus, Porsche or later model Volvo. I'd likely have the sunroof open, top down or targa off weather permitting.

My dating style would change as I could do anything with few restrictions. But being a low key guy I wouldn't suddenly start enjoying things I don't enjoy now. The difference would be more like I could date more and more often without restriction if I preferred. That means I'd meet more possibilities and perhaps find the one I have been looking for sooner. Of course the danger is the "kid in the candy store" syndrome which I'd need to watch out for. I would certainly enjoy some of the freedoms such wealth would afford but without trying to flaunt them.

First dates would not entail rides in the helicopter or private jet for dinner. That is just a simple, unjustifiable waste to me. I doubt I'd own such items but I might have my own plane and probably a sailplane. On the other hand I might rather rent them when wanted. Help someone else along the way.

If it was a lottery win then half or 50% would already be slated to go to certain charities. Except for an extreme few, any that contacted me for a donation would be scratched off or prevented from being on my list. Depending on the amount available, the distribution would happen rather quickly or over several years.

No doubt dating "style" would change as I would want for nothing monetarily. Therefore, non-monetary issues would be more important on a date. I would have to somewhat guard against that male desire to rescue the "damsel in distress" and focus on getting to know her more than figuring out how to fix her problems.

Who's Paris Hilton?
 RexWithoutTheT
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 22
How would sudden wealth change your dating style.
Posted: 8/9/2008 3:23:23 PM
Hey there!

Very interesting faux scenarion buddy. Lol. Well I have to respond to this in two parts. The first, is regarding myself and my dating style would change. The second would involve personal experiences and real life situations.

First part;

I come from a family that has a long line of history. We are very proud and hold steadfast to our time honoured traditions. This already has a weight placed upon my dating style in that I am no conventional guy. I happen to be gay. To my surprise, the same restrictions were placed upon me after I came out to my family as were enforced before. The only way that coming into an immense amount of wealth would change my style of dating would be for the better. The newly acquired wealth would help me to find what I am already looking for. People with money, meet people with money. Eventually, one would gather that they in turn would also marry people with money. This having been noted, I would find someone close to matching, if not near to the amount of wealth which I have newly acquired. My family would be pleased, my future children would be secure financially and I would have the lifestyle which I desire. Prestigeous, honorable and secure.

Second Part;

Now this comes from personal experience and a real life scenario. Two years ago, my aunt has invited me to meet her for lunch at her country club. I accepted her invitation and we enjoyed a pleasant time amongst Orange County society. When we were thru with lunch, I parted with her and I headed to a Starbucks to do some thinking. I was having some family trouble and I felt like writing about it while sipping on a late`. I made my way to the java spot and entered the building. I felt a tad uneasy because upon my entry I had noticed a peculiar man staring at me from the far end of the room. I paid no mind and went about my business. To my surprise, the rather tawdry gentleman made his way over to where I was sitting. He asked if he could take a seat, I did not know what to say as I did not want to be seen with the local homeless man. Anyhow, to make a long story short, we ended up chatting, hours passed and he offered me a ride back to my aunt's home. I had politely declined because I was not too sure about this stranger. We both headed for the door and he pulled out a cell phone from his pocket. While we were chatting outside, a royal blue Duchess Rolls-Royce pulls up. It turned out that is was his car. The man that I thought was a homeless vaigrant turned out to be a visiting member of the British House of Lords. He asked me for my number and offered to take me to dinner. We seen each other nearly every day for 27 days and on the 28th evening he asked me to marry him. (In his native country of course). I later found out that he had one mega yacht, two smaller yachting vessels, a london home, a home in essex, a flat in Paris, a mansion in florida, and a winter chateaux in Normandy, France. I suppose that dating is pretty much as bizzare on the money scene as it is on the pauper scene. Lol. Oh, for the record, he was 62 and I was only 23. I was young, dumb and ended up leaving him. Damn! I should have snagged him when I had the chance. Oh well, all is well that ends well I suppose.

Hope ya'll enjoyed.

Damien
 aSydneyMale
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 23
How would sudden wealth change your dating style.
Posted: 8/9/2008 5:27:02 PM

To my surprise, the rather tawdry gentleman made his way over to where I was sitting. He asked if he could take a seat, I did not know what to say as I did not want to be seen with the local homeless man. Anyhow, to make a long story short, we ended up chatting, hours passed and he offered me a ride back to my aunt's home. I had politely declined because I was not too sure about this stranger.


But then...


The man that I thought was a homeless vaigrant turned out to be a visiting member of the British House of Lords. He asked me for my number and offered to take me to dinner. We seen each other nearly every day for 27 days and on the 28th evening he asked me to marry him. (In his native country of course). I later found out that he had one mega yacht, two smaller yachting vessels, a london home, a home in essex, a flat in Paris, a mansion in florida, and a winter chateaux in Normandy, France.


And then the kicker...


Lol. Oh, for the record, he was 62 and I was only 23. I was young, dumb and ended up leaving him. Damn! I should have snagged him when I had the chance.


A sleazy, wealthy predator who is nearly 40 years older than his target hangs out at Starbucks looking to pick up. Because this bloke has truckloads of money and a member of the British aristocracy doesn't make this scenario any less creepy. The same would apply if it was a 60-year-old lothario and a 20-year-old bimbo. It all comes down to the abuse of money and power.

I don't know whether you were joking when you were talking about regretting leaving him, but you say, whilst you were happy to chat to the bloke at Starbucks, you were in the process of getting rid of him when you thought he had no money. The difference for you was the fact he turned out to be filthy rich.

But then you both went in with eyes open and it became a simple business arrangement in the end.
 La Gioconda
Joined: 6/27/2008
Msg: 24
How would sudden wealth change your dating style.
Posted: 8/9/2008 9:13:55 PM
episodeiv:

My dating style would change as I could do anything with few restrictions. But being a low key guy I wouldn't suddenly start enjoying things I don't enjoy now. The difference would be more like I could date more and more often without restriction if I preferred. That means I'd meet more possibilities and perhaps find the one I have been looking for sooner. Of course the danger is the "kid in the candy store" syndrome which I'd need to watch out for. I would certainly enjoy some of the freedoms such wealth would afford but without trying to flaunt them.

I am just curious about your paragraph episodeiv, how did you land at such conclusion that money, all the wealth you just acquired would speed up the process of meeting the right one. And also how did you land at such conclusion that suddenly you could date more, meaning you would have more time and less restrictions. I am wondering, because money does not stop me from dating more or less, not at all. I do however live in the world that runs on 7 days a week, 24 hours in a day, and here I have a life with only two hands and ten fingers. Going on dates doesn't have to be expensive, not at all and by any means.

What I normally encounter in the dating scene, if I may say that, the problem is not the time, but 'running into someone' that you feel a potential for a possible connection. I have no problem in attracting attention on this site, and not at all, but I don't have an interest in meeting each and single person that writes to me, even when they appear all together, they are handsome and kind and polite and somewhat interesting. Your comment striked me that you tend to believe that money can speed up the occurance of chemistry between two people which is essential ingredient, IMO of course. To run into someone that you feel that strong connection and pull is like appearance of the Halley's comet. So, just curious what money has got to do with meeting him/her sooner.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 25
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How would sudden wealth change your dating style.
Posted: 8/9/2008 9:33:17 PM
The only thing that will change my dating style is not marketing myself in Plentyoffish for dates ,but parade myself in designer attires in cruises, and where the super rich hang out to snag a billionaire date.. You know the game is match for match..
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