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Joined: 1/5/2008
Msg: 1
WeddingsPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Ok, so I am standing up as a groomsman in my friends wedding next weekend. It seems like he and his bride to be have gone through a bit of stress over this whole ordeal. I likewise have come to some conclusions as well. If I do get married I don't think I want a big wedding nor do I want people to stand up in it. I would hate to categorize my friends like that. But has anyone ever heard or been to a wedding in which there was no Bides maid, best man, or groomsman? I also would not want to have a bachlor party. I guess I am trying to break the ranks of tradition.

Joined: 6/7/2008
Msg: 2
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Posted: 8/9/2008 8:33:04 AM
My brother got married in a quiet, understated civil ceremony. Both families were there. The JP asked if we'd like to all go outside, and we stood in a very pleasant patch of trees near the courthouse. The JP took the wedding photos for us with our digital cameras. Then everybody (except the JP of course, who had other couples to attend to) went to a nearby restaurant and had a nice meal.

Worked well, I think.

My other brother just announced that he and his live-in were going away for the weekend and asked my parents to babysit. When they came back they announced that they'd gotten married.
Joined: 6/4/2005
Msg: 3
Posted: 8/9/2008 8:41:13 AM
I also would not want to have a bachlor party. I guess I am trying to break the ranks of tradition.

Traditionally, weddings have been joyous occasions that many couples want to share with others. However, for some it can be a stressful event.

You only need two (?) witnesses for the marriage, and the bride and groom only need to be satisfied with any arrangements that they (bride and groom) have made for the wedding day.
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 4
Posted: 8/9/2008 8:51:24 AM

Ok, so I am standing up as a groomsman in my friends wedding next weekend.

If I didn't like my friend I might be able to do that... otherwise, forget it... it's like watching your friend get castrated and try to be happy about it.

If I do get married I don't think I want a big wedding nor do I want people to stand up in it.

What you think you want won't matter.

But has anyone ever heard or been to a wedding in which there was no Bides maid, best man, or groomsman?

Vegas, enough said.

I also would not want to have a bachlor party. I guess I am trying to break the ranks of tradition.

Wanna break the ranks of tradition, don't get married. Anything else is "the same old song in a new voice"... in your case a wedding without a bachelor party.
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 5
Posted: 8/9/2008 8:59:07 AM
~OP~ Yep. Did exactly that. A witness can be anyone and it does solve the "categorization" problems.
Joined: 6/27/2008
Msg: 6
Posted: 8/9/2008 9:34:19 AM
It seems to be such a huge waste of money
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 7
Posted: 8/9/2008 9:58:16 AM
I don't think the big wedding is a princess party. Boy some people are negative and ****y!

For me the big wedding isn't about spending my savings. It's about celebrating a special event with a lot of people I care about, and giving my extremely large family the opportunity to come together and visit. The extravagant spending is a personal choice of some couples, not a necessity in having a large wedding.

Some of my best memories growing up were the enormous weddings of my cousins. All the family would be invited, we'd eat, drink, dance, visit. Everyone would tent or camp at the people's yard and stay in the local motels, then we'd have breakfast which the uncle's cooked for everyone.

Joined: 2/23/2008
Msg: 8
Posted: 8/9/2008 10:39:31 AM

has anyone ever heard or been to a wedding in which there was no Bides maid, best man, or groomsman?

The whole concept of the best man and maid of honor is to have a witness to the ceremony. I was the best man when my father married his second wife, and his wife's sister was the maid of honor, but we didn't have any groomsmen or bridesmaids. We also had to sign the marriage license as a witness. There certainly is nothing wrong with just having a modest wedding with just you and your bride-to-be in front of all your friends, but just remember that you still have to take your future wife's wishes into consideration; most women have been planning this day since they could walk.

I also would not want to have a bachlor party.

Dude, you want a bachelor party. It's not so much about seeing naked chicks, but getting to hang with your bros and having a night of debauchery because things will be way different after you get married. I know that not everyone is as much of a partier as I am, so if you're that type of person, have a Texas-hold 'em tournament or have a Monty Python marathon. Whatever you do, make sure you make your wishes known to your friends before they go and plan some extravagant outing that will require the National Guard to break up.
Joined: 3/8/2006
Msg: 9
Posted: 8/9/2008 10:54:29 AM
If I ever remarried which I don't think I will I would have no wedding at all. I would rather spend the money taking a wonderful cruise or going somewhere exotic together.
I got married once and had the whole wedding ceremony and it just wasn't worth the money or the time. If fact it should have never happened to begin with. We live and learn through life and I now know better.
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 10
Posted: 8/9/2008 12:04:16 PM
Sure plenty of people have done it. When you get married, how you do it, is up to you are the person you are getting married to. I have never understood the idea of making something so private a public matter.
Joined: 8/19/2007
Msg: 11
Posted: 8/9/2008 12:11:41 PM
I've come to the conclusion that weddings are just bad Ju Ju ......
Joined: 9/30/2007
Msg: 12
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Posted: 8/9/2008 2:19:34 PM
If I had it to do over again I'd have a very small wedding.. then spend money on a great honey moon.. then host a bash when we get back.. to me that would be the best scenario.

I was so upset and nervous.. when I got married. My mother was on my a$$ constantly and we fought like cats and dogs. I remember one night a friend of the family made an ugly comment to me and I fell apart.. I cried for the whole night. My fiancee soon to be husband had to stay with me.. to help me hold it together.

As I look back on it my mother acted horribly.. she apologized years later. Both my husband and I were so upset that we could not sleep the night through for a month.. he and I both would startle awake in the middle of the night thinking we had forgotten to do something pertaining to the wedding.

Course we were very young and my mother opposed the wedding so she fought me tooth and nail.

One of my closest friends married her old high school sweetheart when they were both in their 50's.. and her mother stepped in and started pitching a fit about certain aspects of the wedding.. like the colors the bride chose.. etc.. ridiculous... and certainly not worth the stress she caused the bride.

So in my experience weddings make people crazy..
Joined: 8/17/2004
Msg: 13
Posted: 8/12/2008 12:06:03 PM
Extravagant weddings are ridiculous and the only purpose they serve is so the families can make a statement of how much money they can spend. As far as breaking the ranks of tradition... some traditions need to be dissolved.
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 14
Posted: 8/12/2008 3:05:02 PM

I am not religious so "before God" would not be part of it. Yes witnesses, but no one else. I see marriage as the birth of a new family, and yes I consider that private. In the birth of a child one needs medical staff and in the birth of a family one needs wintesses. To each their own. I am a very private person.
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 15
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Posted: 8/12/2008 3:45:51 PM
Just elope. Save your money for fun trips with your new bride.
Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 16
Posted: 8/12/2008 8:39:46 PM
IF I ever do get married again someday I want to have a small outside wedding....close friends and family only,nothing big and it will not be an expensive either and of course I will have a maid of honor and 3 brides maids and I want my son to be the ring bearer and if he has kids than they will also be in the wedding.
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 17
Posted: 2/15/2011 10:31:56 PM
Well I guess I am going to take the plunge after all of these years.I've known him forever I guess he wore me down.

I also do not want the traditional big wedding with the big puffy pointless expensive dress that I will wear only once.I don't want anything more then our wedding bands.Engagement rings are a waste of money as far as I am concerned,and I really don't like diamonds.We don't want to blow our savings on a party and would rather put it towards something that is actually useful.I don't believe in the bachelor/bachelorette parties because the whole premise of them is that it's your last night of being single when in actuality you are already part of a couple.

City hall here we come.
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 18
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Posted: 2/15/2011 10:42:40 PM
The first time I got married, a couple who were friends stood up with us as well as my best friend at the time. No one else. The second time we got married at a theme park and one of the workers stood up as a witness.

There was a time I regretted not having a nice family wedding, but I was not in that state of mind at the time. I think it would have been nice to have a family wedding but I wouldn't want a big event, though I do watch Say Yes to the Dress on TV and marvel at the beautiful wedding dresses, I missed out on that.

I think it's up to the couple, but I think it's odd to go through something that puts a strain on your relationship and finances just to put on a big show. It's not my place to decide that for others though, it's all in what you want. I do know it means so much to so many women, and they shouldn't miss it if they desire it so.
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 19
Posted: 2/15/2011 11:17:22 PM

However, you need a bride, friends and family who will cooperate with this vision of a simple wedding.

Truer words have never been spoken.Family who will shut up and not interfere in what does not concern them is very important.We have had to tell more then one family member to back off or they will be out of it altogether. We may have a church wedding I don't know.We are both Acadien and culturally Catholic although I have no clue anymore as to what I actually believe.He goes to mass regularly and I don't. If it will be in the church it will be very very small.
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 20
Posted: 2/16/2011 12:24:41 AM
So absolutely kitschee but too much fun.
I have a set of friends in the renassaince fair community. Neither of them have a close family and they did not want a big wedding, however they did want the 'fairytale' So they did it at the event at the closing ceremonies of the week festival. They knew most of the people there, it was really kind of an open field event, and the grog party afterwards was the same thing that would have happened on load out anyways.
They spent the money they would have on a ceremony on a payment for a ranch and 6 years later are still studiply happily head over heals for each other.

you could also get married on a ship in international waters, .... twelve miles out, give Capt Stubbing a chance at the service !
Joined: 5/21/2010
Msg: 21
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Posted: 2/16/2011 2:21:18 AM
there's no need for a large, formal, traditional wedding ceremony.

mine was in a sub tropical rain forest, attended by my parents who were witnesses.
followed by a huge party on the beach for all our friends that continued for a couple of days.

it was a perfect day...stress free and sooooooo much fun...
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 22
Posted: 2/16/2011 4:08:57 PM
This last 10 years or so I have been seeing more and more people quietly elope then have a wedding social later. For some it's a big reception with supper and everything but it seems to be getting quite common just to see a party with a midnight lunch. I think this is a pretty neat idea. It seems to me the reception is the real fun part and when you think of the cash saved on the dress and such, a nice compromise to going all out.
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