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 Wildman46
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 2
Looking at younger women / girls.Page 1 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
How is a married man lusting after 16 year old kids a "relationship" topic?...

Now if POf had a section called "pervs are us" this subject would fit in rather nicely.
 TxSippiGal
Joined: 9/30/2007
Msg: 5
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Posted: 8/9/2008 5:43:45 PM
Good response Wildman..

What I would say is this.. nothing wrong with admiring a beautiful, young, 16 year old girl.. but leering /lusting and looking are two things.

Watching the girls walk past the car is probably ok.. but watching them walk down the street to their house??? hmmm I don't think the man would be just looking his mind is wandering.. to forbidden areas.. to me that is lust and it is wrong.


When did looking now become lusting?


Now don't tell me that you don't know the difference.. sounds to me like you are trying to excuse yourself. I am sure the story you posted was about you.. and you probably do have a wife.

But I'll explain it more clearly.. when looking your mind says "oh what beautiful girls I am sure they will drive the boys crazy"... Lusting your mind says "oh what I'd do to get a piece of that".. Kapish????
 geeleebee
Joined: 5/26/2008
Msg: 6
Looking at younger women / girls.
Posted: 8/9/2008 5:47:23 PM
There is more to this story than a man gazing after a couple of young women. The fact that the man ignores his wife is very telling. She isn't just following him 'making comments', she is trying to engage him in dialog about what she witnessed. The harm in him ignoring her is this: if he continues to be non-responsive, then she is left to make conclusions on her own, instead of hearing his perspective. Wanna guess what she's going to conclude?

You say, 'as a natural man...' he looks at them. 'Looks' is a seemingly harmless verb, but what did the wife observe in that 'look' that made her question him? Her concern was obviously about the ages of the girls--not just him looking at them. That concern was exacerbated by the fact that he blatantly told her that he was ignoring her.

Bottome line: He was rude and disrespectful to his wife.
 TxSippiGal
Joined: 9/30/2007
Msg: 7
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Posted: 8/9/2008 5:49:21 PM
How do we request a thread be deleted.. the OP's post creeps me out..

Ok I have deleted the offending statement..

But I will say this.. a man who will stare at two underaged girls walking to their home could have a problem with things that could get him into a lot of trouble..

But this is a hypothetical situation right?? the OP isn't married.. and he is recanting a story right?

So I think the OP if he knows the guy should remind him of what this type of activity could lead to.. not that it does in this case.. but.. I hate to see good people get into trouble... you know?
 TxSippiGal
Joined: 9/30/2007
Msg: 11
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Posted: 8/9/2008 6:07:57 PM
Chelsea.. it was not a glance.. he stared at them and watched them walk down the street.. to their home...

This was not an inocent glance.. staring at two underaged girls while they walk down the street to their home ...

I didn't say or accuse the guy of anything.. I just made a statement.
 TxSippiGal
Joined: 9/30/2007
Msg: 13
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Posted: 8/9/2008 6:21:12 PM
But see the OP is defending a person who isn't even on the board..hmmmm

I will restate.. glancing and staring are two different things... according to your story the guy stared.. 2 minutes is a long time to look at an object.. I would classify that as a stare... not a glance..

Lets say a stranger in a restaurant stared for two minutes.. at an attractive married lady who was eating with her husband?? You don't think the husband would notice the guy looking at his wife?? Heck I had a boy friend who nearly flattened a guy for watching me for a couple of minutes at a restaurant.. Staring is rude.. and it implies something..

It is impolite to stare at people.. any person.. and I say to look at a young girl for 2 minutes is staring. I just think it is a good thing the girl's daddy wasn't outside watching the neighbor.


So.. OP are you this guy??? and do you have a wife?
 grapevine
Joined: 10/2/2005
Msg: 15
Looking at younger women / girls.
Posted: 8/9/2008 6:27:58 PM
OMGaaaawwwd.

This is UnbefreakingLEIVABLE!

If I didn't read it with my own two eyes, I never would have believed it myself.



You think late 30s/early 40s is MIDDLE-AGED???
 davidsauvignon
Joined: 2/6/2008
Msg: 17
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Posted: 8/9/2008 6:33:17 PM
Okay, based on the OPost, my position is, the wife was wrong.





~ds~
 AppleGeek
Joined: 9/26/2006
Msg: 18
Looking at younger women / girls.
Posted: 8/9/2008 6:33:41 PM
There's a huge difference between looking at a girl/woman and fantasizing or becoming aroused and looking and thinking damn she's hot or if I was 10 years younger... If you think you guy is going to stop doing the latter you better break out the home lobotomy kit.
 grapevine
Joined: 10/2/2005
Msg: 21
Looking at younger women / girls.
Posted: 8/9/2008 6:55:06 PM
OK, for the serious answer:

It's hard to determine what kind of "looking" he's talking about because at least in part of his explanation it seems like he's trying to say he merely just looked at them, because they happened to be in his field of vision.

Well, regardless, what the problem here is (other than a man of his age ogling young, teenaged girls) is that his whole attitude toward his wife is reprehensible. He is a MARRIED man. Now, does that mean that someone all of a sudden loses their sense of attraction for the opposite sex? Of course not. I'm sure his wife checks out the beefy 20-somethings, too.

But a man who cannot keep from staring at other women (or girls, as the case may be) while in the presence of his wife, AS WELL as keep his rude comments to himself? That's reprehensible. Inexcusable. I don't understand why some men have the attitude that states, "I'll live as a single man, even though I've made a commitment; to hell with you and your feelings; I'll do what I want!"

I don't know; I have far more respect for my mate than that. Hell, I have more respect than that for someone I'm dating for the very first time. I can look at a guy and take him all in and my date would never even know. And if he did say something about it, I sure as HELL wouldn't say, "Yeah, I looked. So what?" How rude. How inconsiderate. Speaking strictly for myself, I'd like to think my husband was totally in love with me and had eyes only for me, like I would have for him. I'd like to think that he respected me enough to not make it obvious he was looking at other women or girls. You know, I sometimes wonder why men ever say "I do," when "they don't."
 TxSippiGal
Joined: 9/30/2007
Msg: 24
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Posted: 8/9/2008 7:07:23 PM
I wonder how many men who responded to this OP in support of the OP's views..{ no doubt the story was about himself it seems because he "doth protest too much"}.. anyway I wonder how many men who don't see staring at two teenaged girls for a couple of minutes as being wrong, have daughters of their own?

You know it never ceases to amaze me the men I know who would leer at someone else's daughter and never think twice about it.. when they have daughters of their own that they would not want some older man leering at.

And btw Pau this was not "looking" it was staring.. the OP said so..
Glancing up and seeing a girl.. repeat a girl... walking by you are you are working on your car is not the same as turning and looking and watching and staring at them as they continue to walk down the street.. and turn down their side walk to walk into their house..

Besides I am sure these two 16 year old girls.. thought the guy was a perv anyway and were laughing at him for doing it..
 lawgeek74
Joined: 3/7/2005
Msg: 25
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Posted: 8/9/2008 7:18:16 PM
This is silly. So he was looked a few seconds too long so what? Is that leering? Is that sexual molestation? Should he be on a registry? How is he a pervert? We must protect our teens from men with eyeballs!!!!
 TxSippiGal
Joined: 9/30/2007
Msg: 29
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Posted: 8/9/2008 7:32:40 PM

But the two girls walking down the street . . . . . . . . he's possibly got a shot with. That makes him a perv?


So you are saying that this middle aged married man is entertaining the possiblity that he has a shot with a 16 year old girl??? And you see nothing wrong with that.

See OP, the problem is you wrote too long and now you have tripped yourself up..

The man in the post was entertaining the thought that he might have a shot with one of those girls.. soooo what does that mean??? It means he wasn't just looking at the girls.. innocently.. he was desiring to have a "shot" at them.. So... what does that mean in your neck of the woods??? Since he was married.. it means in Texas and Mississippi that he was thinking he could possibly have sex with one of them..

And yes.. it does make him a perv.

And BTW... your cheap shot at me is the same cheap shot I am sure you slammed at your wife when she razzed you for leering at those two under aged girls.

If I were you I'd keep quiet you are diggin yourself a hole.
 TheyCallMeMrAwesome
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 35
Looking at younger women / girls.
Posted: 8/9/2008 8:01:36 PM
some how i really see it as a look, what guy wouldn't look? It's natural, and his wife shouldn't be worried unless something happens, which won't, unless he is a child molester. and i doubt it took 2 minutes, probably close to 30 seconds, to walk home, not that long, and his wife shouldn't have been nosey about it, hes a guy, cut him some slack, women check men out all the time, maybe not for that long, but nonetheless, its like people think he is a bad person because god for bid he looks at his neighbors daughters walking home. There is no harm in the situation. It is just society overreacting to this.

just my 2 cents
 grapevine
Joined: 10/2/2005
Msg: 36
Looking at younger women / girls.
Posted: 8/9/2008 8:12:28 PM
Bingo, Morgana! You are wise in the ways of the world, Grasshopper.

 davidsauvignon
Joined: 2/6/2008
Msg: 37
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Posted: 8/9/2008 8:14:41 PM
I DO have teenage daughters....17 and (almost) 15.

As per my earlier post....based on the OPost....the wife has the problem....not the guy working on his car in his garage. They spoke to him on their way to the store. Was the wife there then? Did she hear the conversation? Doesn't sound like it from the OPost. Would it have mattered to her when they walked by on the return trip? Maybe, maybe not.

What if he and his wife were in the mall Christmas shopping? He plops down in the chair while she goes in the store to shop some more? She's shopping....he's people watching. If he watches a couple of young guys walking down the corridor, is he gay and a pedophile? Is hoping they go in the restroon where he can follow them and hit on them? Or, is he people watching.....those darn kids these days.

Amazes me the assumptions and conclusion-jumping.

Bottom line to me based on the OPost, is that his wife is unhappy in the relationship, and is looking for any straw she can grasp to justify her leaving.





~ds~
 lindy_3333
Joined: 3/6/2006
Msg: 38
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Posted: 8/9/2008 8:15:30 PM
actualizing , I was thinking the same thoughts as you. It seems they BOTH have issues to deal with.
 TheyCallMeMrAwesome
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 39
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Posted: 8/9/2008 8:20:33 PM
It was ignorant of him to do it in front of his wife, yes, but if she wasn't there, how does this make it so bad, its virtually, for lack of a better word, harmless if he is alone, wife not there, she doesn't need to worry about what he looked at, hopefully, if he was like me, he wouldv'e totally forgot he looked em. is it creepy, a little, but nobody looks at someone for an extended amount of time and doesnt think something sexual, or at least, not many guys. but thats what i think, and i didn't read the Whole thread, don't have the attention span for it. but, he really should have just told his wife he was looking at them, nobody but himself knew what he was thinking, probably just checking them out, its quite common. but this shouldn't be the issue, whats going on with him and his wife should be.
 HuneyIAmHome
Joined: 10/12/2007
Msg: 41
Looking at younger women / girls.
Posted: 8/9/2008 8:40:08 PM
This whole thread is SICK. Women who seem to know what thoughts go thru a man's head and also determine what's "abnormal"? The OP's post is sick? Gimme a break. Sixteen is sexually mature. Men will look at anything that has sex appeal, at any age. That's the way things are!

The difference between a man who is seen looking/staring at other women/girls and one who doesn't, is that one is obvious and one is discreet and didn't get caught! To say that admiring a beautiful 16 yr old is OK but staring is not, is absurd. If she's beautiful, she's sexually desirable. And it doesn't matter if I have daughters or not, because my having duaghters doesn't affect how men are. That's an ignorant, emotional appeal that totally lacks objectivity.

This is how men are wired. God made them this way. If you don't like it, don't blame the men, take it up with God!
 davidsauvignon
Joined: 2/6/2008
Msg: 46
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Posted: 8/9/2008 8:56:34 PM
^^^ "How would you feel if your wife or girlfriend stared at shirtless 16 year old boys and thought about screwing them?"

You're making the same assumption that others here and the wife made....that his watching these girls walk down the street instatntly equated to him having sexual desires for them.

No wonder he turned his back on her and essentially said, "whatever". Those weren't the thoughts he had, but if he's going to try to argue against assumptions and what's in her mind, why bother? How would he ever convince her otherwise? Or you?

Geez....go read the "Is it okay to flirt" thread and then come back and let's see what your perspectives are.




~ds~
 submarinequeen
Joined: 5/18/2008
Msg: 47
Looking at younger women / girls.
Posted: 8/9/2008 9:06:48 PM
ok, 16 is underaged.
I understand there are good-looking 16 year olds. Really I do.

However, out of respect for their age that is just wrong.

I remember being the hot 16 year old and all the old guys checking me out, and I didn't like it. Creeped me out.

I have a daughter that age, and had a son that age, and really, must you glare? Niether one of my children ever felt comfortable with adults checking them out.
 TxSippiGal
Joined: 9/30/2007
Msg: 49
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Posted: 8/9/2008 9:15:45 PM

I have a daughter that age, and had a son that age, and really, must you glare? Niether one of my children ever felt comfortable with adults checking them out.


THANK YOU QUEEN!!!

My sentiments exactly and what many of the men on this thread fail to realize is that it is up to all of us to protect children.. and some don't see anything wrong with staring at a 16 year old girl for the purpose of imagining a sexual encounter with her.
 davidsauvignon
Joined: 2/6/2008
Msg: 50
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Posted: 8/9/2008 9:20:53 PM
^^^ "and some don't see anything wrong with staring at a 16 year old girl for the purpose of imagining a sexual encounter with her."

How do you KNOW, he was imagining a sexual encounter with her/them? I'd really like to know.





~ds~
 davidsauvignon
Joined: 2/6/2008
Msg: 53
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Posted: 8/9/2008 9:29:01 PM
You're exactly right, classydetective....he could have watched them walk by and started reminiscing about when he was younger.....and someone who he thought fondly of at that period in his life. And THOSE thoughts may or may not of prompted sexual thoughts....





~ds~
 chrylann
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 55
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Posted: 8/9/2008 9:35:09 PM
When men stare, not just look, at girls, their mind is very active. Men are thinking something sexual. Why? Because men are almost always thinkig of something sexual. If you must look, look when your wife/girlfriend is at a place where she does not have to watch her man have sex with a girl/woman in his mind. It IS disrespectful. It is wrong because it may give the wife/girlfriend feelings of not meeting his needs for what he wants in a girl/woman.
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