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 RSwindol
Joined: 8/25/2005
Msg: 7
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It's very simple. It's called a "Special Interest" site. Just like there are "BBW" sites, but no "Skinny People" dating sites. There are "Homosexual" dating sites, but not "Straight" dating sites.

It's a matter of majority vs. minority. If something is the minority, it is considered a "special interest". It's an attempt to allow the user to search a smaller, more refined database for something they have more in common with. If we were to have a white only dating site, there would be up to 220 million people one it, and therefor it wouldn't be too refined.

I have asked it before, and I will ask it again. Why are the majority of white people so insecure that they feel so easily threatened when a minority racial group starts to band together in an attempt to lift themselves up? Have white people not held down minorities for long enough? White people have stuck together in an attempt to make sure that they were the top dogs in the history of our country. We and our ancestors have committed genocide, promoted slavery, perpetuated segregation, and in general "held minorities down" for the duration of our existence on this continent. Why not let them now have a little slice of cake?

OP, it's people like you who make other countries detest the United States. I am glad that people like you have freedom of speech. I just pray that you never have the urge to exorcise it. For when you do, you make all of us look ignorant.
 2findU
Joined: 11/19/2005
Msg: 9
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Posted: 8/10/2008 1:08:32 PM
There are also dating site specifically for Christians, Jews, Muslims, etc. But if there was a site for just whites, then they would call it racist. Its a double standard.
 RSwindol
Joined: 8/25/2005
Msg: 11
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Posted: 8/10/2008 3:12:51 PM
No, I guess whites aren't the majority...

We are not just talking a random worldwide website. The site referred to was a site created for the English Speaking population. And one can easily determine that the Majority of the English speaking population of the world is White. Not Black, Asian, Middle Eastern, Hispanic, or otherwise.

Yes, I would agree that White people are in the Minority when it comes to the entire world. But like I said, the site in question was not meant to target the entire world.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 15
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Posted: 8/14/2008 7:02:02 AM
Ismene, the OP was not disrespectful in the way that she asked the question nor does it appear that she is overly influenced by the area in which she lives. I think what people are missing is that the OP assumed that the dating site was blacks only, which would exclude whites from participation which goes a bit beyond supporting and recognizing the unique beauty of any race or ethnicity. She also wondered if there comes a time when it should be one organization or one contest so that the differences can be celebrated instead of leading to a situation that is essentially segregation whether it is dating sites or beauty pagaents.

The thing that people won't discuss in this topic is what happens if a white person wants to participate in the Miss Black America, first people will ask why, and the answer is that you have your own pagaent, which is correct and yet not, because while it pretty much is, it is not called the Miss White America Pagaent, so if the sites and organizations that are geared toward race or ethnicity are open to membership to all people then this is not a problem but I suspect that some of the resources now available that have a racial or ethnic tag MAY be exclusionary to whites or any other ethnicity not specified in the nomer. I mean, take the NAACP, are they are going to jump up and down that a white person has come on board? I don't know, but I also haven't read their bylaws to see if the organization is open to everyone of any race or creed, but I can imagine people's incredulity that someone would want to do more than just donate money, the color of which doesn't seem to matter much.

I grew up in suburban Chicago and I was married to a black man at one time and he didn't understand either how even when you want a venue or forum to celebrate and participate if it excludes the "majority" group you are essentially doing the same thing that you are upset because the majority group has done to you, marginalizing and excluding because of no other reason than the color of your skin.

Your post was really insulting and unnecessarily so. You can ask a question and disagree with someone without being condescending and insulting. If you want to help people understand and change them basically telling them you are stupid will only close their mind further. Give yourself a huge pat on the back for being able to think when it is convenient to you.

When Obsidian explained that he did not think the sites were exclusionary, the OP thanked him and indicated that she understood. How is that indicative of someone who does not think or who is a huge bigot? If the latter is the case, she would not disapprove of people she knows now looking for another group of the downtrodden to hate.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 16
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Posted: 8/14/2008 8:12:19 AM
What you fail to realize Ismene, is that I don't consider prejudice and discrimination directed toward anyone as proper. I have not had the life experience of people of color but I have had many people treat me poorly because I was white. Less frequent and often more subtle but just as hurtful so when I was about 12 I decided I would do my best to never hurt someone in that way.

Someone else's wrong doesn't make yours right so if people have a thing with anyone because of their racial or ethnic heritage rather than the type of person they choose to be it is wrong no matter how abused they personally themselves have been by other people of any race, ethnicity or creed. This to me is similar to disagreeing with the war in Iraq but supporting the trops. She never said that she subscribed to the notion that there should not be other groups that recognize race, etc. but wondered how that helps us to become united in our ability to embrace differences as well as those things we hold in common. A lot of people of various backgrounds wonder this as well.

The reverse discrimination thing is not a card I will ever play because I realize that my experience in prejudicial treatment directed toward me is very slim compared to what it is like to be black or Hispanic in America. What you fail to recognize is that the OP had these thoughts and instead of behaving in a bigoted manner or thinking that way and that was the end of it, she asked that it be explained, so that she could understand, and how this will help the world become more accepting of diversity instead of reinforcing differences in a negative way.

You don't know this woman. You have no idea whether she is prejudice or not, and you assume because she makes a certain comment that apparently you didn't understand very well either, that she is feigning innocence. You have just illustrated that people with closed minds, people that do not take the time to send the OP a private e-mail to ascertain whether she is just one little pointy hat short of the klan, can sit and biatch about people making assumptions and drawing the wrong conclusions from them and doing the same themselves.

If you really want to make a change in the world try being cordial to someone with different viewpoints. They get to know you, they like you, they listen to how you arrived at your beliefs and many other things about you, you actually have a chance to change that heart. What have you accomplished in this thread other than reinforcing the beliefs of both those who believe the same way you do and those that do not?
 Beaugrand®™©
Joined: 3/24/2008
Msg: 17
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Intolerance and idiots
Posted: 8/14/2008 8:24:54 AM
I wouldn't want to join a "whites only" group of any kind; not because I don't like dating people of my own "race" or "ethnic background," but because racially-themed or ethnically-themed groups of all kinds do tend to attract the extremists, and the militants, and the bigots (which can and do come in all sizes and colors). Yes, that's true of the "Black," or "African-American" groups, as well as Asian, Indian, Latino/Latina, Jewish, Muslim, and White groups.

Can't please everybody, but you sure can p1ss 'em all off.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 18
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Posted: 8/14/2008 9:06:55 AM

I get so fed up with these people who ask this kind of question. People like her feign innocence, when what it really is is a lack of using their brains to understand the very basics of prejudice.

These people and people like her are phrases that individuals use when they do not take the time to bother to get to know someone to figure out whether they have said something in a way that distorts what they believe or that they are in every single other way in their life, the type of person with whom you would normally associate. If that is the case, some people choose to find out why this person's views are the way they are rather than lambasting them for having them. And I still believe that no one knows enough about the OP through any of her comments to make an assumption that she is or is not prejudiced.

You truly need to learn how to read what is there and not what you see. I did not suggest that you liken her to be the kkk but pointed out that you did not take the time to find out which end of the tolerance/prejudice spectrum on which she lies. If you have no mission to eradicate prejudice even in any small tiny way why the hell are you biatching about someone about whom you know nothing and a subject that you apparently don't care enough about to get off your ass and do something positive to solve the problem?
 Beaugrand®™©
Joined: 3/24/2008
Msg: 20
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Posted: 8/14/2008 1:58:06 PM
Phrases like "these people" are yet more examples of "demonizing." Bigotry begins with such dehumanizing remarks about a loosely related group (people of certain skin tones, accents, cultural values, national origins, religious traditions, body-fat-index, medical conditions, culinary habits, sense of style or lack of, etc; or, those whose lack of understanding of, or general insensitivity about an issue causes them to make stupid or non-PC comments).

As far as the OP question whether groups that are exclusively for people of certain skin tones, accents, cultural values, national origins, religious traditions, body-fat-index, medical conditions, culinary habits, sense of style or lack of, etc are "prejudiced-"
Probably so, but aren't those groups equally entitled to be insensitive, exclusive, and bigoted?

Of course, some people are more easily offended than most, and some can always find a reason to be outraged. I don't think this thread is specifically addressed to those who want or need to be offended, maybe that's just a bonus.
 Beaugrand®™©
Joined: 3/24/2008
Msg: 21
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Who reads the subject title, anyway?
Posted: 8/15/2008 1:34:15 PM
Interestingly, I can search by "age," "race," "religion," "smarts," but I can't search for the really important things about women, like how often they bathe, use deodorant, mouthwash, how often they require sex, etc., and will she hit me on the head and take all my money once we're alone?

My guess is, the race-specific dating sites simply make it easier for the predator with a more specific preference...
 keyman11
Joined: 8/31/2006
Msg: 24
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Posted: 8/21/2008 9:28:34 AM
white people are not banned from black dating sites...this a incorrect statement
 BlondePrincess04
Joined: 9/24/2008
Msg: 27
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Posted: 9/29/2008 8:57:01 PM
This whole whites should feel guilty for mistakes of the past is both illogical and laughable. For one thing, you say whites held minorities down. I agree, "some" whites did. Very few whites could afford to own slaves. Very few white men could even vote until almost the mid 1840's. Why should white people today feel guilty because of mistakes made by certain people who shared one thing in common with them, thier skin colour. You bring up the point of them being thier ancestors, again that is a pointless argument. We are not responsible for mistakes made by our ancestors. If your parents were both drug addicts, are you affected by this...yes, is it your responsibility or fault....no. So why feel guilty for instances such as slavery that white people had nothing to do with that live today. Granted racism still exists, many people are alive that enforced Jim Crow laws. Once again, this is a slim minority of white people. Why should all white people be held accountable or feel guilt made by mistakes of people who have the same skin colour. Do we tell Japanese people they should not be proud of thier ethnicity because in World War Two the government massacred Chinese, Indians, Koreans, etc? It is a double standard. Minorities should be given every chance to excel, but not because of thier skin colour. Two wrongs do not make a right.
 lateef7842
Joined: 4/14/2008
Msg: 28
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Posted: 9/30/2008 12:15:09 AM
Just to clear up some major misinformation. There aren't any "blacks only" dating sites, media outlets, educational institutions or anything else. They simply do not exist. If they did, they would be illegal.

Example:
Last year's valedictorian at historically all black Morhouse College is a white male. He is a Rhodes Scholar and turned down a full ride to Columbia University to attend the all black men's University. In other words, whites have always been welcomed to fellowship with us. It's just that they may choose not to.

Specifically to the OP's question; you are free to post a profile on that site. Plenty of whites, who are open to dating blacks, do so. As a matter of fact, I have dated two white women I met on Black Planet (a similar site). And, I have also discovered some white musical artists promoting their material on Black Planet.

People should realize, none of these things happen in a vacuum. I get quite a bit of attention on POF. But, I get tons of attention on black themed dating sites. If whites and other ethnicities where more open to dating blacks, there would be no need for a black themed dating site. People, of any color, want to be where they are wanted most. Think about it like this: on POF some people want to date a black person. On a black singles site, everyone wants to date a black person. If you're black, your odds of finding someone special who loves you for you, just increased 1000 fold.

Being a black man, when I send emails to white or other races of women on POF, the reply rate isn't as high as it is on the black themed sites. And that's cool with me. I'm not complaining. I'm just pointing something out you may not have thought about.

Also, you should understand the black standard of beauty it different than the white standard. Not entirely, but large enough to make a difference. Noses, body types, hair styles and textures all play a roll. Even speech patterns are looked at differently. It's the same thing with the Mrs America Pageant. There, a black woman can be celebrated for her natural beauty and culture. Wide nose and all. However, I will say that things are changing. Increasingly natural blackness is becoming more excepted in the mainstream. And that's a good thing because in the end, we are all Americans.

Lateef
 BlondePrincess04
Joined: 9/24/2008
Msg: 29
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Posted: 10/1/2008 8:31:59 AM
Lol your post shows your level of sheer hatred. You compare the nature of the "white man" to the tiger, lol wow you are pretty ignorant. Accept some personal responsibility and quit complaining about how "rough" you have it because of the evil white race lol.
 MySmilesR4U
Joined: 10/14/2008
Msg: 30
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Posted: 10/24/2008 5:56:33 PM
I can understand your frustrations about seeing a Miss Black America. Nevertheless, beauty has been stereotypically associated with blond hair, blue eyes, and of course white skin. Being this the case, how can a woman that has features that deviate from these predefined conditions be on an equal footing. Look at Britney Spears for example, does she have any musical talent, rhythm, dance moves, or even some eye grabbing curves. But, having the white skin is all she needs to be a candidate for some musical award.

On the other hand, when you compare her to Beyoncee and especially Alecia Keys, both that personify the complete woman, they shadow her, but again who is judging.

If we were living in a society where these ideologies were not so prevalent, these Miss Black America contest would be non-existent.
 MySmilesR4U
Joined: 10/14/2008
Msg: 31
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Posted: 10/24/2008 6:22:42 PM
Why no picture?
 lateef7842
Joined: 4/14/2008
Msg: 32
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Posted: 10/24/2008 6:47:50 PM


The difference should be obvious. Blacks think it's ok for them to band together and celebrate their blackness, not okay for whites to band together and celebrate their whiteness.

Blacks have become the new racists. Did you see Obama's pastor writhing around in the pulpit making racist and sexist remarks about white women in general and Hillary Clinton in particular, while the black congregation applauded? ??? That wasn't a church Obama was a member of. It was a black cult.


You do know that that was Rev Michael Pfleger, a white priest who said that, right? Also, Hillary never denied anything he said about her.

http://es.youtube.com/watch?v=TWigzBClEk8&feature=related

I'm not saying I agree with him. I'm just trying to keep the facts straight.

Lateef
 INWITHTHENEW
Joined: 10/14/2008
Msg: 33
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Posted: 11/24/2008 6:23:24 PM
To answer the GIST of your question I offer you panty hose and flesh colored band aids...

When I was younger i remember a panty hose company sending out a free pair of panty hose in the mail to people. The color was "nude."
This "nude" did not consider the needs of an African American for it was the typical nude for someone "white" I specifically remember my mom looking for the "Brown Sugar" panty hose because they they carried they type of "nude" she needed.

A few years back, they came out with "flesh colored" band aids. At, the time I noticed that their "flesh color" did not consider the needs of an African American. I don't know if that has changed now. But "flesh colored" on my skin was the same as a glaring neon light. There were no other options in the box or of "flesh toned" colors.
 geeleebee
Joined: 5/26/2008
Msg: 35
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Posted: 5/12/2009 7:25:33 AM

Where did I say I wanted a whites only dating site? Thank you for missing my point. My point is that I am offended by the double standard


Where is the double standard?
Unless you've started a White Only dating site and been castigated for it, there is no double standard.
 Beaugrand®™©
Joined: 3/24/2008
Msg: 37
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Posted: 5/12/2009 12:42:48 PM
A month after the city won a discrimination lawsuit against a "Men Only" gym, a "Women Only" gym opened up less than 3 blocks from the site of the (now permanently closed) "Men Only" gym.

Justice isn't always fair.
 Twill348
Joined: 12/20/2008
Msg: 38
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Posted: 5/12/2009 7:12:05 PM
"you're assuming that there is a 50/50 split in races in this country, which simply isn't the case. any dating site is primarily white, because this country as a whole is primarily white. turn on the tv and look for black tv shows, and you probably won't find many of them... "

WOW, someone doesn't watch much tv!! :)
 Twill348
Joined: 12/20/2008
Msg: 39
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Posted: 5/12/2009 7:18:33 PM
"A month after the city won a discrimination lawsuit against a "Men Only" gym, a "Women Only" gym opened up less than 3 blocks from the site of the (now permanently closed) "Men Only" gym.

Justice isn't always fair. "

It depends on the law. I know a guy, very slight, worked out on the light machines. But then the club put in a "ladies" room, and put his machine in there. So he went in there to work out. The ladies complained...too bad for them, a letter from a lawyer straightened that right out, not legal in that state! It can work both ways.
 Got Trance
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 40
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Posted: 5/12/2009 7:20:50 PM
An all black dating site is not racist.
But white folks can not have a white dating site. That would be racist. Then those two really racist jackasses jesse jackson and al sharpton will start having press conferences and tell everyone the owner of the site is being a racist.
 Twill348
Joined: 12/20/2008
Msg: 41
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Posted: 5/12/2009 7:20:52 PM
"The primary reason for a Black dating site (which BTW OP..isn't only for Blacks) is that White people have decided that they won't date Blacks because of their skin color.
Imagine that?"

Nonsense. Were you at the meeting? I did not hear "point of order" from your corner! You need to attend the rallys more often!
 SAguy_06
Joined: 12/29/2005
Msg: 42
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Posted: 5/13/2009 7:07:45 AM
I guess you cant really have an all anything dating website, but if you want only white folks to interact with or date, than you could choose like minded people...

http://www.stormfront.org/forum/showthread.php?t=269100


we all can make choices...
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 43
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Posted: 5/13/2009 3:33:31 PM
With no sarcasm intended, I'm glad this discussion is taking place, as angry as the voices may get. I just hope there's are times during this when one learns from the other. The whites - many of who don't trace their ancestors back to slave-owners, rail against blacks who are getting a hand-up in jobs and opportunities. The blacks - some of whom have ancestors born as slaves, feel they are owed whatever they can get because of how this country treated them. The blacks have been asking for over a great deal of time, and they're not on a level playing field yet. Yes, there does have to be a time when a black doesn't blame society for all his troubles. A lot of people are minorities. But when a country has enslaved you they owe you a hand-up. After that, let the cream rise, black or white. The only question is, "when has the level of equality in societies attitudes been reached?"

and to the gentlemen who says while people can walk through every black neighborhood without being harassed because of his color, i suggest you put on some white makeup and try it yourself. Even being victimized does not mean you don't victimize others in turn. Racism and hatred live and fester in the heart and only the heart can dispel them, be we black, white, or any color.
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