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 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 7
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Male Gay Relationships On Dating Websites - Myth or Reality?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I don't think it is much different from hetero dating. Many flakes, many people with problems that preclude a relationship lasting more than 3-6 months. On the upside if you are a lesbian there are constant ads on that face site, lol.

This is a medium, a means for meeting people. I would suggest perhaps looking for gay websites to at least increase the potential dating pool.
 Hermeticus
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 8
Male Gay Relationships - Myth or Reality?
Posted: 7/11/2009 3:36:19 AM
Good Question! I know that I'm sincere in looking to meet some people....not just THE ONLY #1 Mr RIGHT but a few nice people, to become friends with, maybe date (although I don't know what that word truly means to someone gay & hitting up 45) someone.

ONLY #1 Mr RIGHT doesn't exist. He is a hollywood brain implant, like Prince Charming...have we all become duped by this Imported American brain candy? Mr Right is not going to be here & he will not be arising out from the pages of a porn mag, muscle building mag, with a Phd., etc....

Balding & a belly might be the realistic Mr Right, with or without a job, but that's not so bad if he is nice, won't harm you, treats you respectfully (vice verse), cares about your day, makes you laugh when your upset, or catches your feet & puts them back on the ground when you get caught up in your head, & holds you close .... Hollywood's Mr Right can't do that...he's a mirage.

I wonder if everyone is prey to the Hollywood notion of Mr Right that they preclude those out of the race to get to know them by not even responding to an email of Hello! If you don't take a chance....how will you be able to meet anyone or someone....& this person on POF might not be the one but if you become friends with him, maybe some of his friends may be the 1 4 u ...but that will only happen if you chat up someone who appeals to be a nice guy to begin with...

How on earth can anyone discern who anyone is by an email? No wink of the eye, no vocal inflections, no smells, bells, & whistles....it's baffling how so many just don't return an email which says Hello, when their profile says to say Hi!

And of course these PROFILES! I mean come on! Put some effort into it! This represents you & advertises you & what you like! It's your Résumé - don't misspell words, reread what you typed, put ur best food forward. Yeah I overdid my profile, but I can't figure out how to get all of me into that confining little space, good thing POF has a word limit!

Why should I email you IF you say you have so many hobbies & interests too innumerable to mention & just email you?! How can I send an email to someone when I don't know what they like to initiate a conversation & the rest of their profile is generic (like all the rest!)? Who doesn't like to have a nice meal, nice wine, nice conversation but they don't say anything in their profile? OY!

So many people project their rubbish onto others & ruin something good before it happens that they say Good Bye before saying Hello, with a prerecorded movie playing out in their mind of a scenario that might not have even occurred to the other person.

Men are men & can't be responsible for the brain between their legs demanding attention. I am baffled how many "straight" men are looking for gay men OR even lie by saying their single too.... but it comes down to Grow Up. Be real, you can't have all your sexual desires manifest all the time & also have a part of your life, that is more time consuming than the bedroom, be fulfilling. I don't think we can have our cake & eat it too! OMG I'm becoming Carrie Bradshaw here (Sex in the City)!

I think it comes down to being Honest with yourself...& then to others. When are you finished sowing your oats, playing around & having all the sex with all the people in the world, when will you have enough, is there enough?, and when do you want to have a conjugal life that is fulfilling & content?

I'm surprised how many guys are looking for sex. I can go anywhere (I'd like to think) for that, here, I just want to make some new friends, to enjoy life with, & do things with, like out on the town or go to dinner & laugh....those sorts of things, a buddy.

Everyone thinks, oh "friends", yeah, ok, say whatever to yourself buddy, but we all want sex...that's code for phoc buddies. Well, no, not for me. I'm not willing to date or meet someone who doesn't share some of my interests & can Carry a conversation & enhance it (Add to it) - written & verbal) ...because after the sex, what are we going to do or talk about....more sex? I'd like to have friends to share my life not just that part of my life but the rest of my life.

Everyone trashes everyone it seems...or rather is disposable, the way of the disposable world, & now people are disposable too.

The gay world is harsh....if I look so much at someone or ask them something, I am accused of hitting on them OR asking them out already....I just don't get that! It usually is preempted by "I'm involved with someone..." and then when we become friends & have some nice times out on the city, I find out they are still living with their "x" but can't move out or away or leave it in the past....dunno...odd...judgements, projections.

But I'm not bitter & I'm here with my half full glass!

I think I rambled on & on enuf now ...I think this rant is done! ha!
 Anthony7575
Joined: 3/15/2011
Msg: 9
Male Gay Relationships On Dating Websites - Myth or Reality?
Posted: 4/4/2011 10:38:15 AM
Hell how youdoing outfit
 kayla1963
Joined: 4/1/2011
Msg: 10
Male Gay Relationships On Dating Websites - Myth or Reality?
Posted: 4/4/2011 5:24:28 PM
Hmmm ... I have been asked out by a gay guy who wanted to start a family!
 AintNoDeal
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 12
Male Gay Relationships On Dating Websites - Myth or Reality?
Posted: 4/5/2011 7:32:58 PM
= Gay Dating PAID for the Internet we know today. =

Okay, maybe that's an exaggeration, but word in the business community is that gay men are early-adopters of most new technology, so when you order products online, chat online, do IMs, banking, trading, watch TV and movies .... Gay Men were there first.

Thank Gay Men for your iPods, your laptops, HDTVs, Blu-Ray DVDs and all the other gadgets in your European man-purse, because they bought-in first and ate the high prices and hit-or-miss technology the rest of us take for granted now.

So...OP...do not take POF or any other dating site for granted. My first question is what did you do before you spent 2 years cruising online? Did you use word of mouth, newpaper ads, messages left on college light posts? In those instances you inevitably had to follow up on the leads. No difference online. I'm guessing, but those relationships didn't appear to last, either.

OK - so it all points back at YOU. "Why do they build up other peoples expectations?"
You see...no one ELSE builds up YOUR expectations -- you do that to YOURSELF. Stop painting fantasies in your head, and START listening to what people say, and behaving in a manner that promotes friendship and trust.

If you want to play the whiner, go ahead, I'm sure you can find things to whine about for the rest of time. If you want happiness, it's YOUR responsibility to go and find it, instead of blaming websites and strangers for not catering to your fantasies.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 13
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Male Gay Relationships On Dating Websites - Myth or Reality?
Posted: 4/5/2011 10:28:14 PM

Men...gay or straight are tempted on the internet to fail at be monogamous..they are looking at people that offer their bodies.....just because...no strings attached and free..

I don't think that this is necessarily any more true than the supposition that every single woman wants to get married and have kids. There are people of each sex that go 'against the grain'. But of course, you'll have to really look for them. I think this guy's opinion is a good example that it's not any easier for a gay person to date than it is for the rest of us. Man, woman, it's never easy.
 Skotch
Joined: 5/12/2010
Msg: 14
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Male Gay Relationships On Dating Websites - Myth or Reality?
Posted: 7/1/2011 12:19:16 PM
I'm not gay, I don't know too many gay guys (well, probably a lot more than I'm aware of, but still), and I really haven't delved into their relationships, however...


Most men begin quite enthausiastically then the messages get fewer and shorter as time passes by

Its hard to keep up emails and be interesting after a long period of time. I've heard many a suggestion that if someone peaks your interest, meet them face to face within a week. Otherwise the email thing gets stale in my opinion.

Not saying it can't work, but even with the gal I'm trying to get with (conflicting schedules) that I've been talking to on and off here for a long time, I rarely ever write out long and thoughtful emails any more. What more is there to talk about over an email? I've already decided that said person seems to fit my standards, I want to get to know them first hand now and save the emails for ... well... not even save them, just drop them entirely.

Good luck!
 Skotch
Joined: 5/12/2010
Msg: 15
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Male Gay Relationships On Dating Websites - Myth or Reality?
Posted: 7/1/2011 12:27:19 PM
My sister used to be on this site; she was looking for a tall black man and basically complained that there wasn't enough here on pof but has had better luck on other sites. I don't know about the homosexual market (tongue in cheek) here but from what I see on the hetero side its a lot of white boys and girls with only a few token african americans, spanish, and asians thrown in. Just saying you might have more options on other websites. However, being that this one is free might as well let your profile shine and check it every now and again.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 16
Male Gay Relationships On Dating Websites - Myth or Reality?
Posted: 7/1/2011 8:37:00 PM
wait, what, this place is hetero ? have you seen the animosity between the genders ?
for f@ck sakes, the GLAT should be using this site as a recruitment tool.
the number of dissatisfied customers here, you would think that luring to the other side of the fence would be actually EASIER than getting a girl to go for coffee
or so say the posts.
take a serious look, there is LITTLE dating going on here. Much more biatching about how there are no dates, no good men/women -

but do consider the moment that homosexuals can enjoy 'gay marriage'.... gay 'divorce' is waiting in the wings - you KNOW the lawyers are warming up for that first landmark case like binge eaters waiting for Winchells to open.
 ed4smooth
Joined: 8/19/2011
Msg: 17
Male Gay Relationships On Dating Websites - Myth or Reality?
Posted: 8/23/2011 8:55:06 AM
Yes, gay relationships can result from online. I met a great guy and had an 11 year relationship with him. We had it all trust, respect, good jobs, travel, a home, two kids. Unfortunately, cancer took him from us this June.

So, yes it works. There is the proof. What do men desire? At age 40, what do you desire? Hell, all healthy men want sex. Even if someone doesn't say that they want a relationship, men want sex.

Don't try to pattern your dating on the straight model. As I see from my straight friends, they date and when the woman feels ready, there might be sex.

Sex is the easiest thing in the gay world. For every type, there is someone who wants it. Jungle fever, Rice/Potato Queens, Chubby chasers. That and more is out there. Take an honest asset of what you are and what you like. What type are you? Are you fit/average/skinny? Do you look older or younger than you are? Are you a student/job holder/successful? What do you want? Someone older/younger? Fat/skinny? Sexual habits? You get the drift.

Then advertise it. You have to market yourself and manage expectations. If you are 40 and look 50, don't put pictures of yourself up from when you were 30. Your dates will be dissappointed and will feel lied to.

When it comes to email communications betwen gay men (maybe all communications, but I can't speak to those that are not betwen two men) men lose interest quickly. A long string of emails will naturally trail off. Men tend to be sexually motivated and investing weeks in seeming never ending emails, well, it seems pointless. Schedule an in person meeting as soon as possible.

You think that the other guy isn't serious. He probably feels the same way if you haven't proposed to meet.

Monogamy is a wonderful ideal. I applaud you striving for this. I'm not sure that it exists. Is that really what you want? Or do you just want a to prevent someone from sleeping around because you are insecure that they will leave you if they do?

It has been my experience that men sleep around. I've heard that 60% of married straight men ADMIT to having slept around. My partner and I had an open relationship. After a party, we would compare notes about the stories that our friends would tell. The more masculine of us would sit around and share stories about the guys that we had slept with and the "girls" would do the same thing. Funny thing is that we were the "only" open relationship. All of the others were "monogamous"

On day, my partner received a call from his friend. His friend was crying that he had found naked pictures of his partner with another guy. My partner told him, "So what. You just slept with another guy last week."

It is my opinion that monogamy is a concept created by people who are naturally jealous and untrusting.

Now the down-side of open relationships. Many men are immature. They are always looking for the next-best thing. They think that hot night of sex means that every night will be that hot and they forget that their first sex with their partner was also hot. Yes, passion fades over time, but it is replaced by so much more...love, comfort, familiary, trust, memories. So, if you go the open route, make sure that you pick someone mature enough to handle it.
 meowsaidthetigress
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 18
Male Gay Relationships On Dating Websites - Myth or Reality?
Posted: 8/23/2011 9:10:48 AM
Yes the stats on the forums are laughable. It might be easier for me to get a date with a gay guy and have him go straight then get a straight guy that isnt jaded.
All in all I do just fine on this site when I put in the actual effort.
All it takes is playing nice.
 meowsaidthetigress
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 20
Male Gay Relationships On Dating Websites - Myth or Reality?
Posted: 8/23/2011 9:51:58 AM
Hark the herald 's sing... I adore you for that gay guy inside!
Maybe we should go lesbian for a day. See being gay on a website does work!
 hotbody11
Joined: 1/31/2012
Msg: 22
Male Gay Relationships On Dating Websites - Myth or Reality?
Posted: 2/18/2012 12:55:21 PM
i want guy who want sex.im bottom.please leave message???????????
 jerome36761
Joined: 8/24/2014
Msg: 23
Male Gay Relationships On Dating Websites - Myth or Reality?
Posted: 9/20/2014 7:15:05 AM
My name is Roy Mccullum I been gay for 20 years and loving it im looking for a partner call me 7346445316
 jerome36761
Joined: 8/24/2014
Msg: 24
Male Gay Relationships On Dating Websites - Myth or Reality?
Posted: 9/20/2014 7:15:50 AM
call me my name Roy 734 6445316
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 25
Male Gay Relationships On Dating Websites - Myth or Reality?
Posted: 9/20/2014 8:19:58 AM
Doesn't sound any different than what many straight people deal with on POF.
 middleeastern69
Joined: 12/20/2009
Msg: 26
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Male Gay Relationships On Dating Websites - Myth or Reality?
Posted: 12/10/2014 9:12:16 PM
Reality, all are serious but lot of expectations no acceptance I wish if I could date Lord Jesus as he must be complete LOL
 taylorguy99
Joined: 7/27/2011
Msg: 27
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Male Gay Relationships On Dating Websites - Myth or Reality?
Posted: 2/25/2018 1:47:46 PM
Hi,, I read your post from 10 yrs,ago? I just came across it. I agree,, I have had the same experience. My guess is a high % of gay men are realy just looking for sex and that's it. I'm looking for more, still haven't found it. You never said what state are you from? I'm Doug, from Michigan. White male, 50 yrs old.
 prettybrwneyedone
Joined: 6/1/2017
Msg: 28
Male Gay Relationships On Dating Websites - Myth or Reality?
Posted: 2/25/2018 2:21:58 PM
Welcome to the frustration of OLD. What the majority of OLD has become is casual hookups and many just seeking sex and short-term situations. So whether gay or heterosexual, it all comes down to the people involved and there's more quantity on here than anything else.

I'm learning just as many are that if you want something real, you're probably going to need to find traditional ways to cultivate a bond with someone. I'd suggest 'meetup' which is group-based and they have all types of groups for singles - heterosexual or gay.

I would say that gay or reality would depend on your odds.
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 29
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Male Gay Relationships On Dating Websites - Myth or Reality?
Posted: 2/25/2018 6:40:23 PM
That is the same frustration women deal with on online dating.
Except there would be more straight men than gay men.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 30
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Male Gay Relationships On Dating Websites - Myth or Reality?
Posted: 2/25/2018 7:39:05 PM
OLD is deader than a hammer.

Guess you can point fingers at those men who can talk their way into any woman's bed. They are a ruthless bunch that are only out for themselves. They will do just about anything, say whatever works, or lie like a rug to get their way. I don't trust them, and I'm a straight man.

You have to get it through your heads, that you will not change these people. Once a dog, always a dog.
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 31
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Male Gay Relationships On Dating Websites - Myth or Reality?
Posted: 2/25/2018 8:14:13 PM

Being openly anything in this world is hard enough, except for the priviledge of being heterosexual...


I feel so bad. I'm so tired of this crap.
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