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 meeshcake
Joined: 9/26/2007
Msg: 4
Taking a break from DatingPage 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Hopefully this isn't a duplicate post...I just changed my screen name so my first answer didn't post (i don't think).

Anyway, Yes...I am just emerging from an extended break. I started a new job in October and have been focusing on that and taking care of myself. I am just now feeling like getting back into the dating world, so I'm updating the profile as we speak.
 terryt757
Joined: 6/22/2007
Msg: 14
Taking a break from Dating
Posted: 8/10/2008 2:32:34 PM
Hello my friend, I did not think about how hard it is for you to date with being a single parent in a foreign country. I think you such a great person to put your son needs above yours, I had to do the samething for my son too. Involving children that early in the dating process is never a good idea. I hope you know that I will always be your friend and I am only a phone call away for a good talk.
 acitalriwt sixela
Joined: 5/5/2008
Msg: 15
Taking a break from Dating
Posted: 8/10/2008 2:55:50 PM
I am in middle of break from dateing because I move to new place.

I want to meet new friends and start new life at new school before dateing. May be I still meet right person but I am not look.
 Born2bewild62
Joined: 4/8/2007
Msg: 16
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History
Taking a break from Dating
Posted: 8/10/2008 3:11:32 PM
Sometimes it's necessary. And it's better than totally burning your bridges and starting over again later from scratch.
JF
 SweetnSassyNatureLover
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 17
Taking a break from Dating
Posted: 8/10/2008 3:13:12 PM
Though I never have been a big 'dater' (especially in the sense many seem to do), I took a long break from seeing anyone after my last relationship. I felt it very important to not only heal from that but to face anything in me that had been a hinderance to having a good relationship, cleaning out the old baggage and discarding un-usable items so to speak.

I do not want to get into a new relationship if I have undealt with issues from my past. How can I enjoy being with someone if there are ghosts from the past haunting me.

I spent over a year really working through things, mostly trying to see my own strengths and weaknesses and where I could grow and change. I found that I had alot of things within myself that prevented me from being able to have a healthy relationship so I focused on working throught those things and it was such a valuable experience, one I had not ever really done to that extent and I am so glad I did. If I had been dating on any level during that time I don't think I would have been able to do that much and I certainly wouldn't be as happy and free as I am now. I learned alot about me since I didn't have the distractions a relationship would have brought. I think it's a very important thing to do before getting into a new relationship whatever that might be (dating, ltr, whatever).
 bullielover62
Joined: 12/2/2006
Msg: 18
Taking a break from Dating
Posted: 8/10/2008 3:40:44 PM
The problem, as I see it, is that not enough people take breaks in between relationships....
To me, it's a time of reflection and healing, but also a chance to view my own part in the 'failing' of the last go -'round.

Self imposed time outs are crucial to self growth. How can you know what you did wrong,
right or just plain missed out on if you don't take a step back and review?

And taking some much needed time to be alone and be OK with that is a gift that most miss out on.

DO IT OP. Do it for the next person you get involved with as much as yourself.

Hell, I'm doin' the dating vacay trip right now... and it's so good I swear I'd marry myself if I didn't know better.
 mthomjmark
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 19
Taking a break from Dating
Posted: 8/10/2008 3:47:16 PM
I dont think its a bad thing at all; i did it this year and it was nice.

I dont like the I'm not going to settle thing much though. I mean if you have 50 things you want in a person and you only get 48, is that settling? Especially with people that are obsessed with just looks.

Take it easy and it will happen when you least expect it. Good luck!
 Droleci
Joined: 4/21/2004
Msg: 20
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Taking a break from Dating
Posted: 8/10/2008 5:25:27 PM

but the biggest one is I'm not gonna settle just for the sake of wanting to be with someone


I'd settle just to be with someone... :)

I've GIVEN UP on trying to find dates for periods in my life... and unless I go out looking for them, they don't find me.

You can do all the other things (ie working out, library, etc.) without taking a break from dating... Unless you are saying that you spend a significant amount of your life on actual dates.
 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 27
Taking a break from Dating
Posted: 8/11/2008 11:06:16 AM
I do it periodically...it is a healthy thing to do and am in the midst of one right now. I'm having a great time with my friends, hobbies and my home. I'm enjoying the piece of mind.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 28
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Taking a break from Dating
Posted: 8/11/2008 11:20:53 AM
Usually I take a break from dating when I am working on just one, in hopefully a real and good relationship.....

I view dating being quite different from a relationship, and the goal, for me at least, is to get to know many, to get it down to a few, and once there, if a true connection occurs.....to have only the one.

OT........I have taken both breaks from dating and relationships, and spent time doing things with just friends, or by myself. Usually, once a relationship ends, there needs to be time to step back and review all that happened, and where you are heading from there.

Usually dating starts again after this process, and then you do it all over again. Every so often, you just do not want the intensity of a relationship, and then you just date for the pleasure of the company of others, that might enjoy you as much as you do them.

Just my opinion......
 jeepwmn
Joined: 8/14/2009
Msg: 31
Taking a break from Dating
Posted: 10/23/2010 8:14:16 PM
I think a break from dating is in order for me now before I get really jaded and fed up with dating in general. .just really burned out from going on dates that don't work out/people writing to me who I'm not attracted to/interested in/people who I am interested in completely disappearing. I've hidden my profile, so I'll just be here for the forums. Always fun here. .


I think when we get fed up with dating/want a break, it's a way of us being told that we need to work on ourselves in order to make ourselves more "dateable", appearance and otherwise.
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 32
Taking a break from Dating
Posted: 10/23/2010 11:10:06 PM
I'm taking a break right now, too, and also have hidden my profile.

I think when we get fed up with dating/want a break, it's a way of us being told that we need to work on ourselves in order to make ourselves more "dateable", appearance and otherwise.

I think you're right. My last date-mate with whom it didn't quite work out, I had some problems with him as a possibility for me, but I had some problems with me in it, too. At the moment, I want some time "off" to work on those.

I want to feel like I'm moving forward in my own life before I start dating again. This will not be hard to accomplish, I know what steps I need to take and have begun already, but it's important, I think, to have a sense of momentum of one's own. For me, that's why I'm taking this break.
 cherryyblossom
Joined: 7/19/2009
Msg: 33
Taking a break from Dating
Posted: 10/24/2010 6:00:20 AM
i am taking a break right now because of school and stuff, but am willing to give in if someone asks me out. I remain here for the forums because i enjoy it.
 Dumpling-Girl
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 34
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Taking a break from Dating
Posted: 10/24/2010 11:31:06 AM
I'm still in a break. Mending. It's been about 7 months, and I occasionally have the desire to have someone now (to cuddle, get taken cared of, wrestle with, get hot and bothered with etc.), but I've been pretty content otherwise. Usually I can get other things in my life done even when I'm in a relationship, so I wouldn't necessarily need to take a break just to focus, so mine is more about getting over the last relationship. I think it's necessary to get over one thing before moving to the next. It would have taken some pretty amazing convincing to try and get me to accept a date in the last few months. Now, it probably would just take someone I was attracted to and intrigued by. But I still see myself continuing this break for another few months. It's not like wildly interesting and attractive available men in my age range are breaking down my door now anyhow.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 35
Taking a break from Dating
Posted: 10/24/2010 5:50:58 PM
I'm in a perpetual break unless/until I bump into someone that makes me actually want to date. I don't date looking for a guy I'm into, the guy has to come first.
 ProdigalSon81
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 36
Taking a break from Dating
Posted: 10/25/2010 11:59:47 AM
I've been at that point once or twice myself, just to step back a bit and take a time out.
 Sweet_Sensations
Joined: 9/30/2005
Msg: 37
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Taking a break from Dating
Posted: 11/1/2010 9:52:32 AM
Definately a healthy move.
 thetrick123
Joined: 7/16/2010
Msg: 38
Taking a break from Dating
Posted: 11/2/2010 7:59:51 AM
I couldn't agree more. I too am taking a break from dating, but stick around here to read the Forums, I find alot of humor and information here.
As for dating...I have become a bit cynical and hard, and I do not want to feel that way. I concure with "jeepwmn" I need to work on myself, both inside and out. I have to feel good about me in order to project that to others.
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 9/19/2010
Msg: 39
Taking a break from Dating
Posted: 11/2/2010 10:20:36 AM
Yes, have done it (the first time I listed after I started getting stalked; bailed for a year; the second time after I was talked into dating someone exclusively who found out twelve weeks into our dating that he was married with a seven year old; quit dating for months altogether after him)

but also know sometimes you can get overwhelmed and overloaded; have also gone off then just because it gets to be too much; you need to clear your head and just be; connect with yourself and chill for a while...

Some people have several bad experiences in a row which shake their confidence, which makes them MORE desperate to connect with someone which makes them more unlikely TO connect with someone; which more shakes their confidence; people like that need to find the confidence out of dating altogether before trying to get back into it.

Sometimes it's being in a bad position where you need to relearn internal radar or self love; sometimes it's just taking the time to discover who you are (dating you are learning about the other person and if in a relationship you're discovering stuff together; but some people have no idea what their own passions are; they need to find out who they are as an individual before they can know what they can bring to the table and share into a couple (as well as learning to be comfortable taking as well).

Lots of good reasons to take a break from dating. It clears your head, calms your emotions, centers your soul and strengthens your reserve for making sure who you do date after is someone who benefits your life; and is not toxic, negative or who sukks the life out of you, but someone who shows value, respect, gives positive time and experiences and brings out the best in you rather than confusion, self doubt and self loathing.

And in my case it gave me peace :)
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 40
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Taking a break from Dating
Posted: 11/2/2010 10:42:08 AM
The goal is to be happy and enjoy life, and this does not need to include dating all the time.

The funny part about all of this......Is that once you are in a relationship, most times the dating stops and you just enjoy each other in the every day activities of living and having each other around............

I find that I prefer to cook with someone, put on music or a movie, open a bottle of wine, and relax, over dressing up, going out, fighting crowds, etc. Many times I take breaks from dating by just enjoying where I am, and who I might be with, without all the pretense created by commercialism!!

cd...........
 aafitnessmodel
Joined: 11/17/2010
Msg: 41
Taking a break from Dating
Posted: 11/29/2010 5:52:38 PM
i've been on a long break not dating~i'm very happy being single right now~i have so much i want to do without anyone with me~i get ask out almost every day~but i'm just not interested in dating right now~taking a break gives you a chance to just be yourself and do things without someone always wanting to know what you're doing...i love my freedom~"yee-haa" :o)
 Billy_Famine
Joined: 8/3/2010
Msg: 42
Taking a break from Dating
Posted: 11/29/2010 10:53:38 PM

Ever took a break from dating on purpose?
I'm thinking about taking one for various reasons, but the biggest one is I'm not gonna settle just for the sake of wanting to be with someone, in the mean time I'll work out twice as hard, go to the library more and find some other new hobby's.


thoughts?


While I personally don't like taking breaks from it (I'm 24 and filled with testosterone) I understand why some people do.

Never be ashamed of being alone. When I'm alone, all my jokes are funny. All my ideas are genius.
 barefootkitten
Joined: 12/17/2009
Msg: 43
Taking a break from Dating
Posted: 11/30/2010 9:09:00 AM
Yep. I took a five year break after I broke up with my child's father (she was a few months old). I spent the time focussed on putting myself through university and raising my child....was a GREAT decision.

If ever anyone cannot fully give of themselves to a relationship, then the best thing they can do for themselves (and any potential dates) is to take a break from it.
 curmudgeon_ed
Joined: 11/24/2010
Msg: 44
Taking a break from Dating
Posted: 12/1/2010 5:46:17 PM
i'm on hiatus right now...
 Bookbelle
Joined: 10/24/2008
Msg: 45
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Taking a break from Dating
Posted: 12/2/2010 5:40:38 PM
Yep, I'm taking a break from all that at the moment.

Just broken up with the boyfriend today, actually. Not exactly heartbroken, there wasn't really much to our relationship to be honest, and we were only together a little over a month. Meh.

There are some things I want to work on for myself, weight loss being one of them. (This isn't a "make the ex jealous" thing - it's an "I'm fed up with being so overweight" thing. ) I want to focus on myself for a bit; I'm not happy with how I am right now, and until I'm happy with that, I can't expect anyone else to be.

Of course, if I meet someone I really click with, then who knows... but I'm not going to actively seek a relationship for a while. I'm OK being single. My profile is hidden (has been since I went out with the boyfriend I just broke up with); I'm just here for the forums at the moment, because they're fun.
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