Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Living together after the breakup      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 9
Living together after the breakupPage 1 of 1    

1. Should I consider myself single or separated? We were never married, but have lived together for most of our relationship. FWIW - I consider separated to relate to marriage, but after reading some posts and talking with some people, I am not so sure

You are neither single nor separated. Until you are single, living outside of the same household ~ you are in the vast middle-of-the-road.

2. At what point, if ever, is it acceptable to start meeting people and dating while continuing to live together with the ex? Is it disrespectful?

That would be between you and those that are willing to meet/date someone in your situation.

3. How would you react if you met someone in a similar situation? Would you consider dating them?

I know someone here on POF in that situation. It wouldn't work for me personally, not because of the living situation but because they both seemed in such a hurry to replace one another. I think anyone leaving a long-term-relationship should spend a year or so re-inventing/evaluating their life, the loss, the role they played in the failed relationship, etc. JMO
 sydneyleigh
Joined: 3/21/2008
Msg: 13
view profile
History
Living together after the breakup
Posted: 8/12/2008 11:00:53 AM
Having been in this situation, I can tell you what I experienced.

I lived with my ex for about a year before he finally moved out (finance issues as well)
We AGREED that any dating would take place outside the home - unless the other person was out of town - and that our respective private spaces remain private.

If you and the ex-gf can agree to this, then its perfectly acceptable to date.
It really depends on how the relationship ends as to whether the two of you can handle seeing each other date. I would expect that you may have baggage from the last relationship that needs mulling over, we all have those things to deal with coming out of a partnership (no matter the length) but you have to deal with them as they come up.

So the short answer is - remember what's good for the goose is good for the gander - but you want to work it out with your ex in advance. No surprises is always the best answer. And be honest with your dates about the situation - nothing ruins something new faster than a suspicion that there's something hinky going on. (even when there isn't)
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 18
Living together after the breakup
Posted: 8/12/2008 2:45:12 PM
Either she moves or you move, but you will never bring closure unless you do.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Living together after the breakup