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 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 3
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.Page 1 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
Thought you were in Manhattan, but you're in the same city as me. I've had completely different experiences. I think it might have a lot to do with the women you're contacting. Women I've been interested in enough to meet are much less mercenary.
 Dru
Joined: 5/5/2005
Msg: 8
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/12/2005 11:21:12 PM
LOL...LOL...good.....teaches all the women out there a good lesson who just want to have some fun and good food......lol...lol....I normally pay my own bills sometimes for the guy......its only when i go with family that they do the paying......lol...sounds reasonable
 Lady Marie
Joined: 11/17/2004
Msg: 11
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/13/2005 12:00:04 AM
Never in my life have I paid for the first date, yet...

In the first place, it's the guy who does the invitation, meaning he's responsible to open his wallet...

But if he's my male friend? why not??? sky is the limit ! as long as I bring my wallet too...

Oh well, good intentions beget respect and pure fun... petty funs beget great sighs...
 dwacorn
Joined: 1/23/2005
Msg: 21
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/13/2005 7:34:16 AM
Don't volunteer to pay for a date that is semi-poor and probably needs another shot from the clinic. If they say they are Christian and are honest, a dead giveaway that they are looking for a free meal. After all, most women's profiles claim they what to be independent. So don't treat. Second date, possibly. Or reserve treating for that special one that really clicks. Absolutely no reason to be treating anyone. Unless you are really that needy.
 ManeRider
Joined: 5/22/2005
Msg: 39
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Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/13/2005 9:27:43 AM
I'm in!

Veggie, very nice story. I've had similar experiences. I'll note, it is usually those women, highly attractive, sophisticated types who can smell free drinks a mile away, and see most men as vulnerable to such. I wouldn't say all women are deserving of this treatment, but one lassie from a site other than POF kept trying to intice me to meet her at a "particular" bar for drinks. I had several items keeping me from making time to meet her, but, on the off chance I was in the downtown area, I hopped over and had a look at the place she kept mentioning was her favorite meeting place. I found about a million dollars (6 total) worth of vehicles valleted at the door (Bentleys, Porsches, Hummers, etc.), definately the rich persons place to be seen. Needless to say, it became evident she wanted to act like a socialite on my wallet threads. WE never made that date. She was, though quite enmoring, to say the least. Had I knowledge of your suave tactics, I might have given her the opportunity. Kuddos, you ARE the man!!
 Pandy
Joined: 11/11/2006
Msg: 40
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/13/2005 9:29:21 AM
This is ridiculous....the gotcha thing is just MEAN.
Why not just talk about this issue in pre-date conversation? It's not so hard to bring up how you feel you've been taken advantage of by women previously on dates....or something subtle that will get the hint across. Then if she goes out with you anyway, you know that you're with someone like minded....if they bail , you've saved yourself some hassle.

IMO opinion, to plan a date with someone you KNOW that you're not going to see agaIn just to sucker them into a sting is just about as low as it gets in the dating world. Why do you feel the need to avenge yourself on someone who has never done you wrong? Wouldn't it have been better to avoid people you don't care for in the first place?

Sheesh.
 ManeRider
Joined: 5/22/2005
Msg: 41
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Posted: 6/13/2005 10:10:28 AM
The truth is, women now hold over 51% of the jobs in the private sector. SOME independant women today can spend lavishly for clothes, home accessories, etc. and yet have instinct to allow men to pay all the way. The notion of men paying is systemic from years past, when fewer women held jobs, only men have still allowed this trend to continue, in hopes of meeting the right person. (Ie; if I pay, maybe she'll go out with me again, have sex with me, ad nauseum) Ladies, this is not for all of you, and those who do this know who you are. ME? I generally take the check, even if I KNOW there isn't going to be another date. I'm just olds fashioned in that respect. But, I think if a woman is "able" to pay, certainly she should at least offer on a first date, and if refused, offer to get the tip. Sounds fair to me. I think one reason most men are not able to allow this to happen is the idea that they look cheap if they don't pay up. I still appreciate veggies take, especially if you see a girl drinking $60 shots of single malt scotches. This Golddigger type should be scorned at every opportunity. Some people are just "takers" in life, and realize that free is free, and it's more money in their account, if someone picks up her portion. Bottom line, ladies, if you are a selfish, Golddigger type, beware. All others, please diregard the post.
 alpha_mail
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 45
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/13/2005 4:54:00 PM
The real issue is that men need to take their power back.

Quit buying women food, drinks, flowers, and "stuff" in general, especially on the first date, and even the next 5 or 10. It all starts with mindset of "I want to take a woman out", why would you want to take a woman out that just you met? She could be a total headcase and not your type at all.

Part of it is also women sense if a guy is "taking her out for dinner" as needy behavior. What they hear is this: "I'm a total needy wuss, that is so boring, I have to try and manipulate women into spending time with me. Therefore if I hang a "carrot" infront of them, like offer to buy them dinner, they can't refuse!"

If more men just GOT A LIFE, and WENT ABOUT IT, this wouldn't be such an issue. What I normally do is this: I decide I'm gonna hit up the local starbucks for a drink and to have a good time in general chatting with other people. So I simply call a woman and say that: "Hey, I'm gonna go grab a coffee and have a great time, you should join me."

If she says yes, great, she will have a good time in my company and I will get a chance to qualify her as a potential girlfriend. If she says no, I was going there anyways, so it makes no difference, and she is missing out on having a great time.

Heck, I have friends that take women to WALMART (not to buy them stuff either) and the women consitently say it was one of the best dates they have ever been on.

Now some women may think I'm cheap, and those are EXACTLY the ones I'm trying to weed out from wasting my time with. Its hilarious too, because the odd time I find a great woman that is long term potential, I have no hesitation in taking her on vacations with me, or buying her gifts from time to time. The difference though is I do it in my terms, and in the cases of vacations, I would be going anyways.
 ManeRider
Joined: 5/22/2005
Msg: 46
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Posted: 6/13/2005 5:14:06 PM
Cristine

with those legs, mini skirt, and that smile, there are more than just drinks you'll be seeing at no cost.
 Gentlmanlooking4alady
Joined: 2/6/2005
Msg: 47
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/13/2005 5:19:22 PM
There are so many good points in this thread. There are some very disturbing comments and and deplorable behaviors in here too, such as the tricking one another, letting people buy your stuff and then running, etc. I'm glad we have these chatrooms, then I can see what people are like, and sometimes it's a turnoff. I'm sure my thinking turns some off too, but that's ok, we're not a match and I can respect that.

I guess I wonder whatever happened to self-respect, fairness, and integrity? If she's impressed with my money, she's not impressed with me. If she's impressed with me, my money isn't important. I'm here to find someone who's impressed and enamored with me, in my core, and with who I am. I don't put myself in that position of possibly being cheated, because there are a lot of things to do on a first date for free, or that cost virtually nothing, like a walk in the park, starting at Starbucks. A bikeride, where we hit a coffee shop. I'm not dating someone to impress them, or to get laid; I want a friend and a partner---PERIOD.

If you put yourself in a position to meet someone on a first date where money is an issue, that's kinda passive aggressive, or just plain not thinking regardless of what side of the issue you're on, isn't it? If you can't pay for it, don't do it to begin with, save the Rico Suave stuff for later on when you have a clue who you are dating. It sounded more like someone was dating to impress than dating to have success.

Be fair, be cool, and have fun; it all falls into place from there.....

=========================
Where are you? I am still looking.....dammit, send me an email!
 Bunnyfunny
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 49
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/14/2005 3:41:15 AM
That was a funny story. But I think it was mean of you to lead them on as if you were paying.

For myself, I would never pay for a date. I expect men to pay for all expenses and that's it. Having said that:

I don't go out for meals, I prefer to make my own food and eat at home. I'd also invite dates for dinner (and that would not include an invitation to bed). I also don't drink. About the only think I would expect payment for is coffee and movies.

Why would I expect the man to pay? I'm not a feminist. I have traditional values.
 geeetser233
Joined: 2/16/2005
Msg: 51
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/14/2005 5:39:09 AM
Somebody clear this up for me..
Total spent for the year on dates was 14000.00 dollars..
One girl offered to pay...or 5% of the dates..
That would mean 20 dates in the year at 14 thousand dollars..
That would be 700 dollars per date..
Somebody tell me I am wrong please..
Guess that's why I go on coffee dates...and sometimes pay..lol
 ManeRider
Joined: 5/22/2005
Msg: 53
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Posted: 6/14/2005 7:49:58 AM
TEddybear, he's merging his new clothes, hanging chair, and last years taxes as a buffer, oh...and his bus pass.
 ManeRider
Joined: 5/22/2005
Msg: 63
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Posted: 6/16/2005 4:15:32 PM
^^^^^^^ so right^^^^^^^^

To the curb he goes. Guys like that are like dieveggies posting described for a woman.

People who are "takers" in life deserve a good kick in the A*s, men or women.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 3/2/2005
Msg: 64
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/16/2005 5:14:55 PM
tangoperu Just because someone assumes most women can't cook, doesn't make me compelled to "answer this accusation". Not all statements are deserving of a reply.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 3/2/2005
Msg: 67
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/16/2005 6:35:01 PM
tango Trust me, I'm not upset at all. It was really more of a reply to some previous remark that was lacking.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 3/2/2005
Msg: 68
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/16/2005 6:37:41 PM
luvscutup I think a kick in the A is a little strong, better yet, they deserve to be left alone, not even worth the bother. Any grown supposedly adult who has such a high school mentality about dating will probably end up paying for it by just being alone. THAT they deserve. Besides, I wouldn't want to risk scuffing my shoes.
 Xtasia
Joined: 5/10/2005
Msg: 69
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Posted: 6/16/2005 6:55:50 PM
Wow this post hurts me to read it!

I cannot believe the amount of jaded men on this website!!

The girl was disrespectful. she should have only ordered as much as she was willing to pay for... but the guy was slime for egging her on and giving the impression that he would pay for it when he said "go ahead"...

I have doubts on the validity of this post after reading the mathmatical breakdown.
 ManeRider
Joined: 5/22/2005
Msg: 70
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Posted: 6/16/2005 7:39:01 PM
Bucsgirl, we wouldnt' want you to scuff those FMP's up, not at all. But, sometimes, i think it's appropriate to let those takers know they're unwanted pond scum. (is that too harsh)


Jayelle, you certainly do deserve a kiss on the A if you're the giving type. Are you assuming the position?

Xtasia, I think men are learning their jadedness as a result of being treated like the girl in dieveggies post. If I havne't seen these warriors flaunting their ways myself, I wouldn't believe it either, but I have. But lets face it, in general terms, women are the ones who ride for free (on dates) , and for her to indulge the way it was described, it's fair to let them know it isn't appreciated. I think if, in fact, she tried to indulge herself (contrary to scrutiny of knowing the truth) as suggested, I'm just sorry I wasn't there to witness it. You are right, there are a number of jaded men, they've been dealing with women's rights for a few decades now. I think this is one I'm on his side about.



 antares1222
Joined: 1/13/2005
Msg: 71
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/16/2005 11:17:54 PM
I stopped in a bar one night to make a phone call (it was early so not too loud) after having coffee, and a guy came over to me and offered me a drink. I had no intention of staying and I certainly wasn't intersted in him. He was practically insisting on buying me a drink and I just told him "No, I don't want a drink." I INSISTED on not taking the free drink. I hear of girls taking free drinks and running all the time but I don't do it.
 antares1222
Joined: 1/13/2005
Msg: 80
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/17/2005 1:36:47 PM
If the guy that did that to Jayelle did that to me, I don't think I'd even pay for it. I'd probably tell him what I thought the deal was in front of everyone. I wouldn't pay it and sit there fuming.
 DanteCool1
Joined: 2/28/2005
Msg: 84
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/17/2005 3:52:02 PM
Cool, that was the best story I have read on the internet blogs. Worth finding this sight to just read that. Laughed and smiled and felt great. But that was kind of cold and cruel. I gentelmen might of resecued her and received a great_____ _____ for the favor.
 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 89
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/18/2005 12:39:41 AM
Hey Christine, Dievegie may have been just a tad ofensive, but you're starting to stray into racist areas here. Not saying you don't have a right to be offended, but your reaction is more than inappropriate.
 JessKO
Joined: 1/18/2005
Msg: 91
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Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/18/2005 12:55:44 AM
I'll always have enough money to pay my way.
And I'll occasionally pay for a thing or two through the course of the evening.

I really do prefer it when the guys pay for most of the bill.
Makes me feel taken care of.
 Lady Marie
Joined: 11/17/2004
Msg: 100
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 6/18/2005 9:29:54 PM
I agree with you Ulalume...

Whether I order a cheap or expensive dish or anything during the first date, it's his role to pay since he is the guy ...

Take note, FIRST DATE??? he ought to show his best in the first date because it would be a special event for a gal like me to turn on him...

Anyway, it's good his true color reveals earlier...
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