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 lonelydavid77
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 3
Funny Analogies Pertaining to Dating, Relationships or Sex - Add to the List !Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Often you may hear that Math is like sex, here are a couple of examples:

Both typically begin with a lot of hard work and end with a great but brief reward.

Both merit undivided attention, but mathematicians are prone to think about one while doing the other.

There are many joint results.

Both involve long and hard problems, and can produce interesting topology and geometry.

butt my favorite has to be

Most people wish they knew more about both subjects.
 ~ Cndn Girl ~
Joined: 2/2/2007
Msg: 4
Funny Analogies Pertaining to Dating, Relationships or Sex - Add to the List !
Posted: 8/18/2008 9:44:57 PM

Ok, if you're morally higher than the Cheech & Chong on a Jamaican vacation, skip this thread.


Damn restrictions!
 LeoRejean
Joined: 9/14/2006
Msg: 5
Funny Analogies Pertaining to Dating, Relationships or Sex - Add to the List !
Posted: 8/18/2008 11:34:32 PM
nice guys are a dime a dozen, the mr. wrong ones are a dozen a dime, hence why women seem to find the wrong ones more n more and settle for the wrong ones.
 easyguy71
Joined: 8/4/2006
Msg: 6
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Funny Analogies Pertaining to Dating, Relationships or Sex - Add to the List !
Posted: 8/19/2008 3:21:17 AM
"Women. Can't live with them...........



Pass the beernuts."
Norm, from Cheers.
 easyguy71
Joined: 8/4/2006
Msg: 11
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Funny Analogies Pertaining to Dating, Relationships or Sex - Add to the List !
Posted: 8/19/2008 11:59:42 AM
Diva, what about the " I was looking for Mr. Right. I didn't realize his first name was Always." one? I don't hear that one too often out here but it still would apply, no?
 LeoRejean
Joined: 9/14/2006
Msg: 13
 LeoRejean
Joined: 9/14/2006
Msg: 18
Funny Analogies Pertaining to Dating, Relationships or Sex - Add to the List !
Posted: 8/20/2008 1:21:50 AM
lol @ smiledatyou's comment just gold there:)

and diva, im neither, until told otherwise:)
 easyguy71
Joined: 8/4/2006
Msg: 19
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Funny Analogies Pertaining to Dating, Relationships or Sex - Add to the List !
Posted: 8/20/2008 12:48:23 PM
Smiledatyou, Cute. Gonna share that one with the wife.

I forgot the old expression from a lady boss of mine. "I like my coffee like I like my men: Strong, bold, and black, and on the kitchen table!"
 LeoRejean
Joined: 9/14/2006
Msg: 28
 LeoRejean
Joined: 9/14/2006
Msg: 32
Funny Analogies Pertaining to Dating, Relationships or Sex - Add to the List !
Posted: 8/23/2008 2:43:55 AM
why do cowgirls walk bowlegged?

cowboys like to eat with their hats on:)
 LeoRejean
Joined: 9/14/2006
Msg: 35
Funny Analogies Pertaining to Dating, Relationships or Sex - Add to the List !
Posted: 8/25/2008 5:12:23 AM
wonder what men who drive the S$%@ out their car until the gaskets blow treat their women in bed then lmao!

 LeoRejean
Joined: 9/14/2006
Msg: 37
Funny Analogies Pertaining to Dating, Relationships or Sex - Add to the List !
Posted: 8/25/2008 12:48:57 PM
dont feel the need to blow another head gasket in a car
 canuck-in-oregon
Joined: 11/6/2007
Msg: 38
Funny Analogies Pertaining to Dating, Relationships or Sex - Add to the List !
Posted: 8/25/2008 8:39:11 PM
Read this on another board here.... posted by a man, said it was advice from his dad. I laughed SO hard.

"If it has tits or tires, you're going to have trouble."
 Edmswingr
Joined: 7/16/2005
Msg: 39
Funny Analogies Pertaining to Dating, Relationships or Sex - Add to the List !
Posted: 8/25/2008 9:26:54 PM
Not really about dating, but it made me laugh.

Old people are a lot like Slinky's, kind of useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

You have to have a sort of sick sense of humor, but that is funny.
 dirtbag2
Joined: 4/7/2007
Msg: 42
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Funny Analogies Pertaining to Dating, Relationships or Sex - Add to the List !
Posted: 9/20/2008 2:20:10 AM
" Sex is like Bridge. If you don't have a good partner, then you had better have a good hand."

I saw this posted on the board above the former Adam and Eve's on MacLeod Trail a couple of weeks ago and nearly busted a gut.
 A_wild _rose
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 47
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Funny Analogies Pertaining to Dating, Relationships or Sex - Add to the List !
Posted: 10/26/2008 11:33:49 AM
this thread cracks me up

Dont know if this applies


Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wongs have a new baby.

The nurse brings over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, but definitely a Caucasian, WHITE baby boy. 'Congratulations,'

says the nurse to the new parents. 'Well Mr. Wong, what will you and Mrs. Wong name the baby?'

The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says, 'Well, two Wong's don't make a white, so I think we will name him...

Are you ready for this?
Sum Ting Wong

GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER
1. Sag, you're It.
2. Hide and go pee.
3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.
4. Kick the bucket
5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
6. Musical recliners.
7. Simon says something incoherent.
8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy

SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE :
1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.
2. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.
3. You change your underwear after a sneeze.

OLD IS WHEN:
1. Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
2. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
3. Getting a little action means I don't need fiber today.
4. Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
5. An all-nighter means not getting up to pee!

Thoughts for the weekend:
Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctr Alt Delete' and start all over?

If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

Ponderisms
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if he's going to look up there anyway?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
But Most Of All, Remember!

A Good Friend Is Like A Good Bra. Hard to Find, Supportive, Comfortable, And Always Close To Your Heart!
 jeeplover41
Joined: 9/7/2008
Msg: 48
Funny Analogies Pertaining to Dating, Relationships or Sex - Add to the List !
Posted: 10/29/2008 8:02:12 PM
Baseball Analogies for Sex

On Deck - Having plans for a date
Strike-Out - Duh!!
Walk - Kissing
Bunt - Masturbation
Single - Tongue kissing
Double - Breasts/chest touched, some clothes off, lots of grabbing
Triple - Most of the clothes off, genital contact, mutual masturbation
Inside the park home run - Oral Sex
Home Run - SEX!
Ground Rule Double - would have sex, but no condom
Error - Condom breaks during sex
Banned for life for gambling - sex without condom
Hall of Fame - Marriage
Balk - Premature ejaculation
Pine Tar - KY jelly
Relief pitcher - Vibrator
Rain Delay - parents/roommate return home unexpectedly
Box Seats - Waterbed
Seventh Inning Stretch - Unusual positions
Rookie - Virgin
Switch Hitter - Sex with her one night, and her brother the next.
Minor Leagues - Under 18
Loaded Bases - menage a trois
Grand Slam - Sex three times in twelve hours
Foul tip - VD
Three up and three down - impotency

Gives a whole different perspective to this: So there I was with the bases loaded and nobody out, when I balked during the seventh inning stretch and had to call in a relief pitcher.
 jeeplover41
Joined: 9/7/2008
Msg: 49
Funny Analogies Pertaining to Dating, Relationships or Sex - Add to the List !
Posted: 10/29/2008 8:12:44 PM
If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be selling timeshares on the moon.

One good turn gets most of the blankets.

When you get old there are 3 things to remember: Never trust a fart, Never pass-up a bathroom, and Never waste a hard-on

Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.

The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.

I tried phone sex once, but the holes were too small.

I'm such a lousy lover... One day, I caught a peeping tom booing me!

and for the last: If size doesn't matter, how come they don't make 4 inch dildos?
 jeeplover41
Joined: 9/7/2008
Msg: 50
Funny Analogies Pertaining to Dating, Relationships or Sex - Add to the List !
Posted: 10/30/2008 5:58:56 PM
Sorry..........I can't help myself................I love comedy!

Why do women rub their eyes in the morning when they wake up?

Because they don't have balls to scratch.
 sweet smilin woman
Joined: 6/12/2008
Msg: 51
Funny Analogies Pertaining to Dating, Relationships or Sex - Add to the List !
Posted: 11/2/2008 12:35:33 PM
Went out with a guy and he took me to a secluded place to park at the end of the date. I told him that my Mama said I was to say "no" to everything.
He said, "OK, do you mind if I put my arm around you?"
I said, "No."
He said, "Do you mind if Ikiss you?"
I said, "No."
He said, "If this keeps up, we're gonna get along just fine!"
 Mobile Music
Joined: 11/1/2006
Msg: 53
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Funny Analogies Pertaining to Dating, Relationships or Sex - Add to the List !
Posted: 9/29/2009 10:05:38 PM
Guy walks into a gay bar without realizing it. Upon realizing it, he decides he doesn't care and has a couple of beers. While talking to fellow patrons they ask him what he named his penis.
Guy # 1 says" Mine is named lance after how long and straight it is"
Guy#2 says: "Mine is named Henry because my man always says OH"
Guy#3 says: "Mine is named hulk cause it's so big"

the straight guy thinks for a few minutes and finally says:

Mine is named SECRET

The three gay guys look at him with plain curiosity; and pester the guy to explain this strange name.

so he says:

SECRET...... Strong enough for a man, But made for a woman.
 edmcherub
Joined: 2/7/2010
Msg: 57
I've cracked the POF code!
Posted: 2/20/2010 1:27:05 PM
I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'

- Eleanor Roosevelt

 a_lonewolf
Joined: 5/21/2010
Msg: 61
Funny Analogies Pertaining to Dating, Relationships or Sex - Add to the List !
Posted: 1/27/2013 4:13:20 PM
as my dad had told me......
"... if you can't pick them up....... don't!"
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