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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?      Home login  
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 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 2
Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?Page 1 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
Spicy, I really can relate to what you are feeling...not only the babies but some have had surgeries and it left us with scars etc. I have found that if you are with someone for the right reasons then none of it matters. Depends on what you are looking for but for me, when I am with someone who likes me for who I am not what I look like ...they simply dont seem to care. The one thing you have to do for yourself is be confident in who you are and what you want and the rest is easy.
 Aquarian man
Joined: 1/15/2007
Msg: 4
Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 8/21/2008 3:48:51 AM
Hi , Hopefully they wuill be respected and thier bodies adored..,What kind of a man would want to embarass His partner?? if a man likes a woman, and vica versa, all that matters is that they have mutual respect for each other, We all are older, now. and not as bright and shiny new, any more ,Were we , ever god's gift anyway ?? beauty lies in the eye of the beholder, and when two people desire each other, in This way ,Well it doesn't matter who has a scar or where,.or .,some saggy bits ,.it's the act of loving each other that counts just be thankfull, Frank from Bribie Is,QLD
 Aquarian man
Joined: 1/15/2007
Msg: 6
Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 8/21/2008 4:05:19 AM
SpicyYou are truly beautifull, wow wish I was eighteen months Younger,and had amillion dollars , would be on Your doorstep with the biggest bunch of flowers and a bucket of diamonds, to try and sweep You off Your feetany man to capture Youwould indeed be a lottery winner I am off to bed to hopefully dream of You luv ya Frank from down under,
 rossal
Joined: 12/5/2005
Msg: 8
Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 8/21/2008 4:50:09 AM
Well, it hasn't happened yet, but I am sure I will be a little nervous. As previous posters have said, it should be about love and respect and not if you look like Barbie!

Rossal
 kane stays
Joined: 6/8/2008
Msg: 9
Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 8/21/2008 5:08:55 AM
I am very nervous,I could break out in a rash just thinking about it. Oh won't that be great,there I am naked and I get a rash. I'm starting to itch ,oh dear no I'm thinking about it!! Evil OP!!
 geewiz001
Joined: 5/10/2008
Msg: 11
Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 8/21/2008 6:43:42 AM
If that guy isn't making you feel like a beautiful, sexy woman , then he isn't thte one for you. And for the record, a younger guy is into the "mystique" of an older woman, so there are pluses to being with an older woman, that younger woman just can't produce.

MG
 chatte
Joined: 6/7/2008
Msg: 12
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Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 8/21/2008 7:50:42 AM
zeeba ~ too funny!

It's not body fears I'm worried about, I'm in better shape than some women half my age. But I was with my ex, and faithful, for 8 1/2 years. When you've been with the same person for that long, you get into a comfort level with what each other does and doesn't like. It's the vision of doing something that you're used to and having the new person freak!! I know, I know, it's supposed to be fun exploring a new person...yeah sure!
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 14
Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 8/21/2008 8:55:01 AM

Do it in the dark.


Never, ever do it in the dark...love who you are..accept it and wear it with confidence...when you are looking into the eyes of the man you are in like/love with there is no better feeling in the world. You have to realize they have the same concerns about their bodies.

I remember the first time I was with someone who was the most amazing man inside but the wrapping wasnt the same...no man has made me feel as beautiful and less than 1 second into it nothing physical about him mattered. We spent hours together, in bed in the shower taking the time to shampoo and soap each other bodies...trust me with the right person it wont matter at all.
 geewiz001
Joined: 5/10/2008
Msg: 15
Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 8/21/2008 9:29:57 AM
Geewiz after reading your comment I assumed you were "a younger guy" and read your profile to find you are close to my age. So what is the whole thing about younger guys that you're talking about - that I should date one to feel better about myself??? For the record younger guys don't interest me.

I don't think I'm suggesting.... just that maybe it shouldn't be overlooked. I am very open minded. I don't generally rule things out. I have dated older then myself (my best relationship since my divorce, longest, and most loving) and have dated much younger (25 with a young daughter) that one ended because she was insanely jealous which i couldn’t deal with. Otherwise it was ok. MY thinking is..., there isn’t anything, except physical attraction which is a gotta have. The others can be found regardless of age, so for me age is not a killer. If she is 25, and acts mature, has something to say, is sexy, tentative to me, allows me to be tentative to her. is ok with my not really wanting any more kids, doesn’t drive me too crazy with the things all woman do, then its a good thing. if she acts too immature, then its not good. Because I have had older woman be more immature then a younger girl, I have come to decide that I can't tell simply by age..., so that number doesn't get criticized strictly by "its " number.

And this just goes to show you.., you perceived me as younger by a simple post, but yet looked into me a little bit more, and saw I was as young as you are, and possibly more mature then you thought. my mind is very young, my experience is ever evolving, and maturing. And it retains the young aspects as well.

What am I suggesting? Don’t discount because of age. A person's experience is made up of numerous things. This world we live in shapes every one differently..., you might be surprised by someone you initially blow off because he may be 10 years younger then you.
I think woman of all ages feel nervous about that first encounter with any man.(the good woman anyway) as alot of men do as well. It all comes down to feeling good about yourself.., confidence. it speaks sexy.
MG
 catman40
Joined: 5/20/2007
Msg: 16
Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 8/21/2008 9:50:51 AM
a woman should not feel nerous . let it happen . if , the sex is metaoker . tell him what he can do in the bedroom . as we get older . some things don't work like when we were teenagers .
 Seas_the_Day
Joined: 7/20/2008
Msg: 17
Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 8/21/2008 10:10:45 AM
Confidence and a glass of wine
 raxarsr
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 18
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Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 8/21/2008 11:53:32 AM
uhhhhhhh..............i'm proubly gonna get kicked outta the club and have my membership ring taken for breaking the code..........buy a lot of us guys have the same worries
 Henry L. Moon
Joined: 6/1/2008
Msg: 19
Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 8/21/2008 11:58:49 AM
I think you will find that when it happens you'll be way too busy with ....other things....and it wont cross your mind once.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 20
Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 8/21/2008 12:40:01 PM
\

...Oh you bet I get nervous. I think in many respects its natural to begin with when you care about someone, you want to please them so its important that your body appeals to them, right? Maybe?

...maeflowers
 ankkka
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 21
Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 8/21/2008 1:37:49 PM
Not nervous...
Why I have to be nervous about something what is so natural...I'm not virgin anymore!
If you have great relationship with somebody...just don't plan your first sexual encounter...do it spontaneously!Your body should be wonderland for him!
 anthonycat
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 23
Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 8/21/2008 4:11:11 PM
HERE IS WHAT I THINK... THAT WHEN THE MOMENT FEELS RIGHT TO BE INTIMATE... WHEN THE COMFORT LEVEL AND PASSION TELL YOU THE TIME IS RIGHT... IT IS... (AND NOT BEFORE)...

THE IMPROTANT THING IS THAT IT IS A FLUID MOMENT... AND IF THE PRE-PLAY... LEADS TO IN-PLAY... AND AFT-PLAY... AND MAYBE A RE-PLAY... LET YOUR HEART AND SPIRIT LEAD YOU... NOT YOUR MIND...

SOME OF THE MOST IMPORTANT FEED-BACK WE RECEIVE... AND GIVE... HAS NO WORDS... SO FEEL FREE TO "PAY SOME ATTENTION"... ITS WONDERFUL... WHEN YOU DO...

anthony
 deere rancher
Joined: 7/9/2008
Msg: 24
Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 8/21/2008 4:19:09 PM
Personally, if the woman's nervous about sex , then it's too soon !
back off . Take the time for both to feel comfortable. When the moment's right , the sex will be to .
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 26
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Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 8/21/2008 6:26:58 PM
Op I remember way back when! I had been on my own for a year after the separation.
I was "petrified" of being with another man sexually. I had not been with anyone but my husband for 18 years. I met a man through friends, who was exactly at the same point in his life as I was in mine. We became intimate, but there was this how to say it, understanding. We were helping each other transition into the single world. It was wonderful for us both and to this day we are still friends. Not to worry, you will do fine. I think we put way too much on ourselves at times!
 lbiker
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 27
Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 8/21/2008 9:36:03 PM
HI Nervouse,,yeah!!!!! I was so nervouse I felt like I was a newlywed again. I kept covering up, he kept uncovering,,it was more like a horny wrestling match. We both had not had sex since divorce, and it was alot like the first time all over again..Except with wrinkles...We both laughed our heads off. It took awhile at least an hour before we really could settle down and enjoy the experience. We stayed together for about 3 years.
I wish I would have thought about bungee cords..that would have helped alot..LOL Thanks for everybodys input..You have made my night Thanks
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 28
Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 8/21/2008 10:38:11 PM

Op I remember way back when! I had been on my own for a year after the separation.
I was "petrified" of being with another man sexually. I had not been with anyone but my husband for 18 years. I met a man through friends, who was exactly at the same point in his life as I was in mine. We became intimate, but there was this how to say it, understanding. We were helping each other transition into the single world. It was wonderful for us both and to this day we are still friends. Not to worry, you will do fine. I think we put way too much on ourselves at times!


...Hmmm, your post has got me to thinking, maybe thats exactly what I need to do....find myself a "transitional partner"


...maeflowers
 bigsexyteddybear
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 29
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Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 8/21/2008 11:38:18 PM
Ya know I just don't think your going to get most men that truly understand what your going through. I have read several posts where the guys say take your time let the nervousness pass. Well its not about that. It's just plain out the fact your scared to death of rejection. Its still a state of mind, I don't care how much you know as in my case I am a fat guy, you can't hide it I know you know, but still I get really nervous to get naked. No one wants to be rejected. Now once I get past that point and if you call me the next day and want to do it again, well heck its all good. But trust me I know what it feels like to be scared sheeeetless to get naked. I mean hell we all look pretty decent dressed but you get naked and OMG...LOL. Ya so once you get past that point with someone it get a lot easier. I am not a big perv but really I prefer to get naked either in a hot tub or something ASAP (can be non sexual) with someone I am dating. Why? I want to get that part over. If you can't handle me naked I just want to move on and be done. I don't want to spend a lot of time trying to get to know someone and then have it all go south after you get naked. I guess for me its just my way of wanting to know if your OK with me. Now I will say I think men are not as honest as women are in this area. I mean a lady will let you know if its not working for her real quick. Men on the other hand, well hell they will just use you and them move on. So I am not sure getting naked for women is a great idea right off the start...but hell then again you over 45..so who really cares what others thing. I am trying to just get to the point life is to short to worry about all this stuff. Accpet me or move on, next please!
 blondblueyed
Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 32
Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 8/22/2008 1:12:54 PM
I used to be nervous, until I read in a men's magazine of all things a response to a woman's inquiry about the male perspective of women's bodies. The answer from the male columnist was......"If you are the only naked woman in the room, trust me, you are getting ALL the attention". Kind of stuck with me, so I don't worry about it anymore.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 33
Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 8/22/2008 1:50:10 PM

Speaking from the viewpoint of a 50yr old guy - I find women 40 and above so sexy. No interest whatsover in the arm charms some mid-lifers desire. This may sound crude but wrinkles, stretch marks, and a few pounds is character that makes you what you are - a beautiful woman. So all of us over 40's - lets relax and enjoy.



...All right then.......that makes me feel so much better to know that men have their concerns as well.

...maeflowers
 swtsunlvr
Joined: 9/20/2007
Msg: 34
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Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 8/22/2008 3:21:46 PM
My main concern is that when you're married for a very long time(in my case 36 years),
you grow older gradually and get used to the difference in your bodies. You have kids,but,he was there with you thru all that and it didn't matter.Now that I'm older,and my body isn't as perfect as it used to be,I worry that I may not be as desirable.I absolutely know that I CAN be very desirable and sensual,but just making that first commitment,after divorce,that scares me to death.I'm glad to see that there are so many out there with the same fears.
I say good luck to us all!!!!
 TxSippiGal
Joined: 9/30/2007
Msg: 35
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Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 8/22/2008 3:38:27 PM
Well I am 55.. and now.. I don't get nervous about my body any more. I have learned that if a man is attracted to me with my clothes on.. he will be attracted to me with my clothes off.

It has been my experience that men will focus on what they like about your body.. they are not worried about your cellulite.. your tummy hanging low.. or.. how but your butt is.. cuz they are concerned about poontang

I have got this stomach that I hate.. but I noticed that my FWB (yes he knows that I am looking for a LTR and we won't see each other when and if I meet a possible LTR) he doesn't evern look at my flabby stomach.. he is interested in the poontang.. and listen he liked me even when I was 30 lbs heavier than I am now..

So relax and just remember if they like you with your clothes on they will like you with your clothes off.
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