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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Is love dead?      Home login  
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 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 1
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Is love dead?Page 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
I belong to a couple of sites and the vast majority of men my age are looking for women 10-20 years younger than themselves. I get a lot of mail from younger males 25 to 45 and understand exactly what they have in mind as well.
Now I've tried very hard to date men my age, simply because that's my preference.... I like them on the same mental and life experience page...mutual music, history (within parameters) timelines, slang etc., even with different cultures the music connects us. Even though the reliability and maintenance on the later models can be dicy... no matter how much they allude to the contrary.

Here's where the problem comes in.....Sex. Now I love sex and have been weak on occasion because the gods' little joke has been to bestow upon what appears to be this little grey haired lady an annoying appetite..... Second only to a great desire to 'know' people inside and out and to want to have sex with someone I care for and appreciate for all the little things that he is . This used to be called love... but it seems to have turned into the newest 4 letter word.

Does love exist anymore? Have we become so jaded, bitter and stuck that we can only throw back the covers for intercourse... without opening the doors of our hearts and minds to renew, readjust and welcome a new person into our lives even at this age, with all the paunches and baby tummies that most of us have (though some admit to it and others don't)? Is blindness and arbitrary lists of requirements remotely even feasible at this point... whatever happened to just being there, feeling good and letting it play out to wherever it happens to go?
 Lostcauz
Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 2
Is love dead?
Posted: 8/24/2008 4:59:43 AM
OP, I also felt as you do. Until just a little less than three years ago, when I met a wondeful lady, I refer to as my Special Angel. I still call her Angel, very often, as a matter of fact.

Like many others over 45, I have been married, and divorced, twice. Prior to meeting my Special Angel, I had calmly resolved myself to the fact that the one special lady for me did not exist, and if she did, I would likely never meet her. Thankfully, I was wrong.

To give a short answer to your question, No, love is not dead in modern day society. Love is very much alive, and quite well, in society today.

It's just a matter of weeding through all of those who are not sincerely interested in you, and getting to know you, as a person, to find that one individual who is meant for you. Speaking from personal experience, that person is very much well worth the wait.
 AnnudderVoice
Joined: 2/26/2006
Msg: 3
Is love dead?
Posted: 8/24/2008 5:20:09 AM
Lostcauz, thanks for sharing that. It's a lovely story, and I'm glad you found your Special Angel.

Giving up is easy, of course. But no one ever said finding love would be easy. So I'll persevere.

Annudder
 DenaliDadd
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 4
Is love dead?
Posted: 8/24/2008 5:23:03 AM
Redundant post. Redundant answers: Yes, love is dead; it does not exist anymore. Or No, love is not dead; you just have to find it. All men want is sex. All women want is love. The two will never see eye-to-eye.

Good grief.
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 5
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Is love dead?
Posted: 8/24/2008 5:43:03 AM
Well thanks for your 'insight' ak.... perhaps you've been on dating sites for the last 10 years supposedly looking for a ltr and... perfection like most of the others. You could have had an opinion, offered an alternative to the cliche... instead of a lambaste.

What is old to you is new to others...it's an individual process and frankly it takes awhile for each person to gather the stats and this is where they fall.

So may I paraphrase..."Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."


 junipermoon
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 6
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Is love dead?
Posted: 8/24/2008 5:46:34 AM
i don't know if love is dead, but it's getting pretty sick
 AnnudderVoice
Joined: 2/26/2006
Msg: 7
Is love dead?
Posted: 8/24/2008 5:52:36 AM

All men want is sex. All women want is love. The two will never see eye-to-eye.
mmmmm....no.

Annudder
 Lostcauz
Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 8
Is love dead?
Posted: 8/24/2008 7:37:50 AM

All men want is sex. All women want is love. The two will never see eye-to-eye.



mmmmm....no.


I'm with you Annudder.

My answer is also No. A resounding No, at that.

Messages this short may not be posted
Is love dead?
Posted: 8/24/2008 8:01:28 AM

i don't know if love is dead, but it's getting pretty sick

Yes Love has got a fever and the only thing that can save it is more COWBELL.
 Henry L. Moon
Joined: 6/1/2008
Msg: 10
Is love dead?
Posted: 8/24/2008 8:14:47 AM
galensmuse you have to be one of my favorite posters! ...LMAO @ more COWBELL...I know this one wont be with us long
 firebird612
Joined: 8/16/2008
Msg: 11
Is love dead?
Posted: 8/24/2008 8:15:11 AM
i don't fear like love is dead I'm just finding that the older we get the more we box ourselves in and don't allow others to see who the real person is behind the profile companionship and love have very little to do with what i have seen.
its just the fact that we tend to shell our self in as we grow older and wiser /my opinion/ and some are looser and more confident to push more buttons
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 12
Is love dead?
Posted: 8/24/2008 10:17:08 AM
Wow I am reading this and it amazes me that the people that are ****ing about one sex habits and preferences arent realizing they are stating that they have their own preferences and habits. Everyone wants to believe they are younger than they are. I see it on profiles all the time, ie someone who are lets say 55 and want someone 40 to 50...so basically 5 years younger but they wont consider someone 5 years older????. (Actual ages not inflated for lies!!!!). Now arent they just so special that they can special order their love including the age!!!!

It is coming across love me the way I want you to love me or it isnt good enough. Love is an emotion...You would never tell someone how to be happy with you...or that the joy they bring you isnt enough, or if they are angry they didnt do it right.

Love is simply a gift and it doesnt have to be returned to be real, so when you set out to find love you are risking yourself and yet now you want to risk yourself and have that love be qualified as *Old enough, same taste in music, same location, same everything...just isnt the way love works...Ya cant special order it, you can open up your heart and let it find you..but then you have to be willing to accept whatever package it comes in and that is why sooooooo many are just going thru the motions...they dont want to accept what LOVE really is they want Love to be what they want
 SueCat51
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 13
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Is love dead?
Posted: 8/24/2008 10:35:12 AM
Nope - love is not dead, not as far as the universe is concerned. Now, as far as we are concerned on an invidual level, that may be a whole other story. I think we complicate love due to our expectations. If it doesn't resemble something on the movie screen, we aren't interested. If we can't make it happen in 10 seconds or less, we aren't interested. If it isn't convenient, or all about me, me, me, we aren't interested.

For those of us over 45, I don't think we rush in as eagerly as we did in our late teens and early 20's. We've had enough of life's experiences that we have almost become overly cautious, and not as flexible. It can be tough, but love is not dead, unless we allow it to be.
 ankkka
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 14
Is love dead?
Posted: 8/24/2008 11:33:08 AM
Everyone feels differently about love.Perhaps a man sees (like teenagers)in love only sex...
only psychology very wisely writes about love...

Well...in my opinion...what is love...knows only one who really loves...
Anyway...love is the most difficult and beautiful feeling.It can give joy and happiness...but can kill too...
It creates and destroys.
But without love...our soul would be dead...
 What Grinds My Gears
Joined: 8/22/2008
Msg: 15
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Is love dead?
Posted: 8/26/2008 12:01:02 AM
Love is not dead, it just occupies a lower spot on people's list of priorities. The ranks of jaded and bitter people are not shrinking, new members are added daily. As more people get burned emotionally or financially we have a growing population who's priority is to protect their heart, their wallet, etc.
I count myself among their ranks and it is a sad existence.
 nomadc
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 16
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Is love dead?
Posted: 8/26/2008 1:42:14 AM
The problem is there are many kinds of love between two people and two people have many needs. When I was five I fell in love (yes in love) with a girl because she had very long braids I and really pleasent smile I remember her face even until this day. I remember I loved her until she was 12 and then we parted company. I have been in love many times since then and each time it has been different. And my needs have changed also, I used to have a great libido and it was all I could do to have sex. Now my libido is diminished and I find that I enjoy sitting and snuggling and holding the one I love for hours. I once felt hand holding was stupid and now I love a big hug and warm hand. The things I mention are physical but there is no greater joy than looking into the laughing eyes of some one you care about. There is no greater sadness than looking into the sad or angry eyes of someone you care about. So I will put it this way love changes constantly as a relationship matures and likewise a persons needs change constantly as we age. Because needs change love is not alwasy reciprocal and that causes the greatest problem of all, because we can spend a lifetime with a person and never really know all thier needs.
 ankkka
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 17
Is love dead?
Posted: 8/26/2008 10:34:44 AM
No way...

You took your name off Cupid waiting list...

 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 18
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Is love dead?
Posted: 8/26/2008 10:45:00 AM

You took your name off Cupid waiting list


At this rate, who wouldn't do just that?

I think it still exists, just that not many are seeking it these days!
 HippyDippyWeatherman
Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 19
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Is love dead?
Posted: 8/26/2008 12:24:59 PM
I think love is alive and well with the ones who love us unconditionally. What should be dead is keeping score. Wouldn't it be nice to have all the bad boys or bad girls stay after school and wipe down the chalkboards and clap all the erasers. Everyone starts the new day with a clean slate. Of course I mean the trivial slights that seem to add up to big things. We still need accountability for the big ideals of a monogamous relationship.
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 20
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Is love dead?
Posted: 8/26/2008 10:25:11 PM
"I have been mostly disappointed in love but have come to understand that it was me that was not paying attention when I picked the ladies I did."..... Waywardseeker
But at least he finally got it.

"I think love is alive and well with the ones who love us unconditionally.".... Galensmuse
Isn't unconditional love something we give our children? Adults give and take and hash it out for mutual benefit.

"Heck no...........self love is the base of esteem...my love just keeps getting stronger and stronger. "...Simply...Single
Well that'll get you somewhere
.
.... what more can I say?
 Optimistic for 2008
Joined: 5/2/2008
Msg: 21
Is love dead?
Posted: 9/1/2008 2:22:59 PM
To the main question, I say absolutely not....Is it easy to find, absolutely not. Will I give up on finding it.....Not a chance.....

Is it hard staying optimistic....yes it is....

But I've got the capacity and so much saved up, unused love to continually shower on someone that I would hate to drop dead with it still all inside of me....

I don't read mens ads so I'll take a lot of you at your word but for the record I am not looking for a girl decades younger than I am. Age to a certain extent means nothing but I do find it hard to find women close to my age that have the energy that I have....That are still extremely interested in having a very loving and physical relationship and or that have looked after there outer and inner beauty equally
 ankkka
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 22
Is love dead?
Posted: 9/2/2008 6:18:58 PM
How you can make your heart neutral?If you can't love...probably you can only hate.
It is great feeling too...
 ***piano4te***
Joined: 8/24/2008
Msg: 23
Is love dead?
Posted: 9/2/2008 6:28:03 PM
Principessa!!!!

It takes an Italian woman to write about amore as eloquently as you did. Bravo!!

So help me.... I know it's not dead in me. But it's increasingly harder every day to keep one's head above the mire.



 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 24
Is love dead?
Posted: 9/2/2008 7:21:50 PM

Does love exist anymore? Have we become so jaded, bitter and stuck that we can only throw back the covers for intercourse... without opening the doors of our hearts and minds to renew, readjust and welcome a new person into our lives even at this age,


Of course love still exists.

People who are jaded and bitter choose to be so; I know, because I have been there, but I choose to be that way no longer.

Everything is a choice.
 TadworthBear
Joined: 2/12/2008
Msg: 25
Is love dead?
Posted: 9/2/2008 10:54:22 PM
I think love is only dead where people kill it. One must believe in love and then find another person who also believes in love. IF both parties believe in love, love will be there.

Users, players, and selfish folks often make a sham of love and aid in destroying that "love-faith" in others. My advice is to avoid such people. They are not worth your time.

If you enjoy being with them (for a short fling) then you are probably one of them yourself. These types will not find love until they change from within. This is a very rare thing.

Love is alive in the hearts of those who believe in it and refused to let the world destroy that belief for them. I'm one of these people :-)

-Tadworth :-)
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