Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > If she has a house or an apartment      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 techgirl27
Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 1
view profile
History
If she has a house or an apartmentPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
There have been a few threads on which one a guy has, but this is FOR the guys:

Do you care if she has a house or apartment? What are your opinions on both from a relationship perspective?

(Just for the sake of discussion, we're talking about apartments and housing subdivisions that are NOT gated. Gated is a whole 'nother headache... bleah. lol)
 Remagine
Joined: 5/17/2006
Msg: 2
view profile
History
If she has a house or an apartment
Posted: 8/28/2008 3:04:59 PM
Lol Bluezzz

It doesn't matter to me. I'm living in an apartment while I search for my new house.
 Double Cabin
Joined: 11/29/2004
Msg: 3
view profile
History
If she has a house or an apartment
Posted: 8/28/2008 3:05:47 PM
We want to have sex with you, not give you thousands of dollars worth of free labor. But we will do that to have sex with you.

I like houses but love women.
 ***piano4te***
Joined: 8/24/2008
Msg: 4
If she has a house or an apartment
Posted: 8/28/2008 3:24:03 PM
In actuality, I agree with double cabin......

At this point in my life though, and solely based on how I live my life now, and what 'potential' goals might be with a woman in my life, I would probably go more for the woman in the apartment....even IF the neighbors could hear me through the walls.

While I applaud any woman who has her own house, and the job she has had to get to that point, there are, unfortunately, some 'realities' that go along with being with a woman who has her own house when considering somebody for a long term deal.

1. She is NEVER going to give that house up...........ever. She will not MOVE to be with me... She will not MOVE to start a new life somewhere else as a couple, even if we were local. Her house is her house....

2. That house, no matter WHAT I would ever contribute into it, no matter how many chores I do around it, no matter how many years we've been together under it if it became a 'cohabitated' or 'married' situation, and I've earned the unique 'privilege' to suddenly move in because I will, of course, have to be the one to sell mine if I DO own one, will never.......and I mean NEVER be........OURS. It will NEVER happen. The house will NEVER be OUR home. It will be HER home....and I am allowed to do as she pleases, at anytime she pleases, and that's just the rules of the game...And if I 'please' enough....then I will be allowed to stay. But if I don't....or if SHE suddenly decides she doesn't wish to please ME.......either way......I'm gone.

3. I can be guaranteed that said roof over my head will be held against me at anytime, without warning, provocation, or just cause. etcetera, etcetera.......

This only applies for 'long term' thinking. And since I've already lived this little scenario once in my day, I'm not likely to let it happen again. I would rather be with somebody where the playing field is a little more equal, and the possibility exists of two people building a new life together.....with an 'OURS' mentality and mindset that keeps the foundation of both the house AND the relationship from crumbling......
 SeattleRob
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 5
view profile
History
If she has a house or an apartment
Posted: 8/28/2008 3:54:14 PM
Real estate holdings are only part of a portfolio, I'd be more impressed if she had a credit score over 700:-)

I care about the person, not the living arrangement. That being said, if she's in my age range she should have something to show for it...
 trailgirl
Joined: 7/1/2008
Msg: 6
If she has a house or an apartment
Posted: 8/28/2008 3:56:23 PM
Piano- Let me say how very refreshing it is to find a man that takes his experience with one or two women and applies it to everyone. It saves us soooo much time in educating you so you know your place. Yeesh.
 techgirl27
Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 7
view profile
History
If she has a house or an apartment
Posted: 8/28/2008 4:43:05 PM
Wont give the house up huh? I wont give my apartment up either for any man til we have the same last name, and even then I'd have to think hard. Since I planned my residence location well in advance and in great detail, I'd probably just go for a bigger one in the same apartment complex.

I would sell my house for someone if they married me and either their location was better or we could find a better, different location to live. The right opportunity where *I* would benefit would have to arise but I will not be pressured or forced into selling by anyone.

And I dont see what it being part of a divorce settlement has to do with anything? Why do you care how it or she got there? What if she inherited it (from a family member) and didnt pay a dime to get it? So what?

And just like a house, my apartment would be my home and not anyone else's regardless of chores done, etc, until I choose to move out. But me thinks maybe someone is bitter???? hmmm??
 jd28spot
Joined: 6/22/2006
Msg: 8
If she has a house or an apartment
Posted: 8/28/2008 6:54:14 PM
Wouldn't bother me either way.......just as long as whatever we both worked out for living arrangements......I still get to keep my dogs.
 pokerjimmy
Joined: 11/10/2006
Msg: 9
view profile
History
If she has a house or an apartment
Posted: 8/28/2008 6:59:42 PM
I don't think it should matter with a woman under 40, but it speaks to a woman's ablility to make life choices in my view if by the time she's 40 she still hasn't invested in a home no matter how much is still owing on it. It's not a deal breaker however. I wouldn't give up a woman I want no matter how she lived.
 techgirl27
Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 10
view profile
History
If she has a house or an apartment
Posted: 8/28/2008 7:19:19 PM
Try to look at it this way.. From the point of view of the beginning of any relationship. Your eyes are on the "horizon", i.e. what could be down the road.

There must come a point where you think "thats going to make it hard" or something like that. I'd look more to where they live as opposed to what kind of accomodation they have, and base my decision on that.

I have it set up so I will (soon) be able to walk to work. If I move anywhere else, I lose that benefit and automatically my costs go up. (Guys, a woman with very low financial burden!!) And if he already drives x number of miles to work, why am I going to want to give up my "walking distance" not to mention the school I waited so long to get my son into? I look at whether men are flexible or not, just as they would the same for women. I think each pair has their own circumstances and if both people are decent, they will respect that with their decisions that reflect both compromise and benefits.
 techgirl27
Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 11
view profile
History
If she has a house or an apartment
Posted: 8/28/2008 9:17:14 PM
Mish Man: She was uncomfortable with you still living in it? Help me understand this one.

But it seems we think alike on most of those points.
 trailgirl
Joined: 7/1/2008
Msg: 12
If she has a house or an apartment
Posted: 8/29/2008 1:47:55 AM
I agree with the credit score - I don't want to take on someone's problems and be their mother because they can't pay their bills on time. Get a 2nd job or spend less.
I guess I'm lucky that I own enough of my house I could pull a large chunk of equity out and buy something new with someone while renting mine out. It's part of my portfolio, in my mind.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 13
If she has a house or an apartment
Posted: 8/29/2008 11:50:34 AM
I prefer caves with very little natural light but plenty of cave paintings.
 techgirl27
Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 14
view profile
History
If she has a house or an apartment
Posted: 8/29/2008 4:33:35 PM
#2: If she has the house from a divorce... Major Red Flag.

Why? Isnt it better that she's being responsible and keeping it up than being forced to sell?

Besides, I'm a lot more likely to be moving out of/selling my house than I will be moving out of my next apartment complex any time soon. Not only is it written up that I have to stay in the county (no "r") til the kids are 18, I wont give up my son's and my dwelling for any man until I wed. As a single mom, I have a responsibility to make sure that every night, my son and I have a roof over our heads. I have cherry picked that apartment complex and when I do get in there, It will be for quite some time as both the elementary school and middle school that my son is listed for are across the street. My reasons for selling the house I was "awarded" are school/kid reasons, money less so.
 Nao_Namorado
Joined: 7/23/2008
Msg: 15
If she has a house or an apartment
Posted: 8/29/2008 5:53:40 PM
What, exactly, the hell is the question?
 Double Cabin
Joined: 11/29/2004
Msg: 16
view profile
History
If she has a house or an apartment
Posted: 8/29/2008 10:09:23 PM
"Piano- Let me say how very refreshing it is to find a man that takes his experience with one or two women and applies it to everyone. It saves us soooo much time in educating you so you know your place. Yeesh."

Time out. Trailgirl for the record I don't know what Piano was talking about. Didn't I say I like houses? call me. LOL.

Piano,

The hiking hunnie pegged you better than a pine marten on a bear pole. Resignation is no way to got hrough life, especially when its based on incredibly limited empirical data. If a woman I'm enthralled with wants to buy into my home she's welcome too. If she doesn't want to let me buy into her home then, well, I'm only gonna move in if she is incredibly HAWT!

For the record that was an attempt at humor, not cynicysm.
 georipped
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 17
view profile
History
If she has a house or an apartment
Posted: 8/29/2008 10:45:21 PM
Honestly I could care less. Am I the only guy that sees a hot woman working at McDonalds and hit on them? I mean I wouldn't want to pick up a huge debt that someone else had but I look at women all the same whether they are a Doctor or a cashier..
 aggiebq86
Joined: 4/3/2007
Msg: 18
If she has a house or an apartment
Posted: 9/4/2008 12:50:09 PM
As long as she can afford where she lives and I'm not afraid for my safety, I don't care where she lives.
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > If she has a house or an apartment