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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > so many men just don't know how to do it!      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 ***piano4te***
Joined: 8/24/2008
Msg: 2
so many men just don't know how to do it!Page 1 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
You know.....it could be that so many of the lovers you've had have had so many lovers BEFORE you, who were actually DIFFERENT than you..... Imagine that... every woman being DIFFERENT in what gets them off INDIVIDUALLY!! Go figure!! Who would have THOUGHT!!???

Quite honestly, if you had mentioned to me that 'so many men' before me had problems too before we did it.....I'd be a little scared to find out how many men are possibly still trapped inside trying to figure the shit out.........
 Wildman46
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 3
so many men just don't know how to do it!
Posted: 8/28/2008 9:57:28 PM
" Surely, at my age, men will have learned how to please a woman"

Yea right lady, it's all about you. How good are you at pleasing the man you're with. Maybe they are just putting in the same kind of effort that you put into pleasing them.

I mean really, when was the last time you said yes to a little anal action? or better yet how about some girl on girl? Until you start going that extra mile for your man, don't expect him to be going too far out of his way to please you. Say yes to the kinky stuff first, then you can come whining about him not doing his part.
 Blondecharmthe3rd
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 6
so many men just don't know how to do it!
Posted: 8/28/2008 10:14:38 PM
You are only as good or as bad as your partner. Those who didn't satisfy you most likely weren't enjoying it that much either.

I have been with men and women, and every single one of them was different. I open my mouth, talk about things, guide, share and enjoy. The greatest lovers I have had have done the exact same thing. Open sexual communication.

Grow up shirley.... stopping blaming everyone except yourself.
 Blondecharmthe3rd
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 7
so many men just don't know how to do it!
Posted: 8/28/2008 10:14:56 PM
You are only as good or as bad as your partner. Those who didn't satisfy you most likely weren't enjoying it that much either.

I have been with men and women, and every single one of them was different. I open my mouth, talk about things, guide, share and enjoy. The greatest lovers I have had have done the exact same thing. Open sexual communication.

Grow up shirley.... stopping blaming everyone except yourself.

Sorry double post!
 Blondecharmthe3rd
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 9
so many men just don't know how to do it!
Posted: 8/28/2008 10:26:26 PM
***"Many lovers who did not know how to please me" kinda screams volumes of who needs a teacher.


Absolutely!!!! Women need to stop faking! Then perhaps these guys will realize that they need to learn a thing or two! ***

This woman just doesn't get it. He/she was stating YOU need the teacher, not all these men.
 SeattleRob
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 15
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History
so many men just don't know how to do it!
Posted: 8/28/2008 11:03:34 PM
(Ignoring for now the concept that because a male orgasms means he enjoyed himself)

The sad part is, so few people realize real the secret to pleasing a partner in bed:-(

A gross generalization would be that a person's ego tends to get in the way (this is who I am, accept what I have to offer) which is only getting halfway there. The missing piece, that so few men ever take the time to discover, the thing that drives women wild, in and out of bed, is really a simple concept: Pleasing your partner is learning the things that she responds to, and then giving her that in droves, without her having to ask. It is NOT playing hide the sausage and expecting her to like it.
It means learning the things to say that cause her to blush or squeal.
It means exploring every part of her body, gauging her reactions, filing them all away for future use.

If a man pays attention to what a woman responds to, she will show you (through how she moves her body) exactly when she's ready to be entered. Where to press, how hard, how fast. If she feels safe and assured that you are there for her pleasure, she will hold nothing back. Because really, there there is not a finer experience than to feel safe in the hands of someone who "magically" seems to know exactly how to touch you, where and when. Knows how your body changes during arousal, starting gently and building toward something wonderful...
 SeattleRob
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 17
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so many men just don't know how to do it!
Posted: 8/28/2008 11:54:17 PM

By George...I think hes' got it!


There are a few people out there that do ;-)

All the fear and anger this thread is generating is amazing. A person may lie, but their body generally won't (hence, it's become my preferred method of communication:-) It seems so much easier to put the blame on the other person rather than looking inward.
 Pleasurelimits
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 18
so many men just don't know how to do it!
Posted: 8/29/2008 1:22:20 AM
Shirley, many men have never learned to explore a 'new' woman to find out what she goes to sleep to, what gets her primed, and what makes her a downright screaming nymph. The communication you go through with your new lover is often based on how much he and you want to make love to the biggest sex organ the brain. It requires you to input as much as it does him so be a bit more open and during your initial contacts tell him in a sultry way what you like him to do and ask what he wants you to do, you will both enjoy the result. As a man I could respond also by saying that many women think if I stick his d*k in my mouth and suck he will be mindblowing happy............wrong
 itechman63
Joined: 7/7/2005
Msg: 20
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History
so many men just don't know how to do it!
Posted: 8/29/2008 4:42:56 AM
So you've not met someone with whom you are sexually compatible. The search continues!
 goodquestion
Joined: 6/29/2005
Msg: 21
so many men just don't know how to do it!
Posted: 8/29/2008 5:28:01 AM

I can say in all honesty that I have never been with a man who did not orgasm. I would consider that as proof that he enjoyed himself. Can any woman claim the same consistent success?

surely, I can say as a guy that is not a true statement. Just because he c*ms does not mean he had an orgasm. Although looked upon as one just because a guy c*ms he has had an orgasm may be automaticly assumed by you as most people even men. So he has had one lets say does that mean it is over, if the so called guys you were with call it quits after that it is time for a new guy. Some guys can't help it it just happens I think men and women no this especially someone women who has been with many guys and I am not saying there is anything wrong with that. What I am saying is you have most likely seen an awful lot of variation on the mens side, well there is just as much difference on each and every womans side.

I agree with another poster that sex gets better over time with the same person. Some people get more comfortable with time, some guys just don't care and are out for them selves. How many times have you heard a woman say if you have to ask was it good you must not know what you are doing. "that could be a true fact" however the woman might have thouroly enjoyed herself but was afraid of body expression or even to make a sound, but as she gets more comfortable with who she is with just lets go and moves into another dimension when infact the sex has stayed the same "ie" it all goes back to the brain. Men and women are wired differently.

I think the real question is why so many guys is it that really did not know how to please you or is it you just enjoy going out with many different guys and I do not condone that a bit so to not misunderstand me. However the more guys you go out with the odds go up that you are bound to find there are more that do not know a womans body than do , some would argue it is easier to get a man off than a woman, again that goes back to the orgasm thing "well he c*me he must have had a good time not true at all.

Time to take a look at the over all picture and what is so wrong with a guy in his 40s or so that really needs to learn to get you off it should be a fun experience in teaching him and once he learns look out, or maybe you should try a real young guy and break him in the way you like since they would be real inexpeienced. I have found that there has been more women with men than men with women because what society dictates as to be able to discuss something like this because as we all know that only here in the forums do women sound off about sex which I think is perfectly normal and should carry over to the outside world. Maybe if it did there would be more men that would know exactly what to to and yet I still thing everyone needs to learn and will always need to learn what it takes to make another person of the opposite sex happy in the sex department other than the obvious.
:modhammer: :modhammer: :modhammer:
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 22
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so many men just don't know how to do it!
Posted: 8/29/2008 5:33:09 AM
Oh puhleeze... *rolls eyes*... lets blame the MAN for the lack of good communication.

First time with a new partner is going to suck a bit regardless of your level of experience. You are establishing a baseline. Everything from *here* should be better and better each and every time. If it's not.. you aren't doing your job to communicate with your partner. Why put the responsibility of YOUR pleasure on your partner?? Just remember... there's a difference between "you're doing it wrong, let me do it" and "mmmmm... love it when you touch me like *this* (guide their hand to where and show them how you like it!!)".


*walks away grumpy 'cause she didn't get enough sleep the last two nights and because her guy didn't get the hint last night about what she wanted*

Heres how THAT conversation would have been...

me: hi.. glad you're here *big kisses*.. how was work.. are you hungry.. tired?
him: hi sweetie.. glad I'm here too.. work was work.. not really.. dunno..
me: shower and food then?
him: sure..??
*off he goes to shower, gets something to eat, and we talk a little bit.. after getting into bed for the night conversation continues like this..*
me: *as I wriggle into his arms and he buries his face into the back of my neck.. which always makes me squirm and uber horny..* hehehe.. mmmmmmmm... *guides his hands to all the sensitive bits on my body that I can find*
him: *SNORE*
me: *pout*

Ok, ok.. I cut him some slack 'cause he'd just worked a 12 hr day, hadn't slept well the night before (I know this 'cause he was also in my bed that night too!! and still no joy.. *pout*), and hasn't been feeling well last couple of days... Dunno.. maybe I was *too subtle* in my silent *request*... Hell.. even *I* know I can't get it everytime I want it... hehehe..
 Wildman46
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 23
so many men just don't know how to do it!
Posted: 8/29/2008 7:15:54 AM
" And that type of attitude is why I'm just having sex with BOB and my shower-massage"

GET A SENSE OF HUMOR LADY, My post was not supposed to be taken seriously.

" I can say in all honesty that I have never been with a man who did not orgasm. I would consider that as proof that he enjoyed himself"

Actually Op just because a guy had an orgasm does not mean he enjoyed having sex with you, nothing could be further from the truth.

And what about the guys that faked it because they were so bloody bored and just wanted it over with?. Do you think that women are the only fakers when it comes to orgasms?.
so many men just don't know how to do it!
Posted: 8/29/2008 7:16:02 AM
I was totally going to participate in this brand new thread about a woman ****ing and moaning about her shitty lovers and then ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

BOOORRRRRRRIIIIIIIINNNNNNNGGGGGGG
so many men just don't know how to do it!
Posted: 8/29/2008 10:03:11 AM
I'll start...One.
 goodquestion
Joined: 6/29/2005
Msg: 36
so many men just don't know how to do it!
Posted: 8/29/2008 11:19:52 AM

I'm with you and LMAO! Even the "virgin" is offended! All these men keep trying to offend me because they're offended...and its' not working.

I am not offended not even close you could not oddend me if you tried, most of the posts here are very intelligent and true, just read them, sounds like the real problem is on your end and I feel sorry because apparently you can't get a guy to open up to you or you are not with him long enough for them to open up.


Not one man has answered my simple questions, which I believe are the two factors most important in a man who does know how to do it! One more time!

I think OT if the question was reversed with me anyway I would bet you could not please me "why you ask" you don't know me other than another guy who like everyother guy gets a few strokes in and gets off "WRONG".

I am not stating this out of frustration of the thread and the allegations of all these guys you state are upset, for me there is no need to get upset, yes a few strokes might make me c*m but once again as I stated earlier am I going to be happy, satisfied, NO period. The real question at hand is not why guys are not answering but if you want to here them or me admit or say that most guys do not know a lot about sex it is simple I will admit it show me what to do and test or quiz me on what I learned.

AS HAS BEEN SAID IN THE PAST THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A BORN LOVER ......
 goodquestion
Joined: 6/29/2005
Msg: 38
so many men just don't know how to do it!
Posted: 8/29/2008 11:36:48 AM

Okay, goodquestion, I have to call you on this one. Just because a guy cums does not mean he orgasms? Are you serious and do you have a reference book for me to look to? I have orgasmed every time I came, I am sure, otherwise what was all that shaking and lightheadedness? I'm not saying you're full of sh1t but it sounds a little like "I got drunk but didn't drink anything."

Point well taken virgilskid I agree but with a woman I am really into lets say more than another and lets not confuse the issue and say what am I doing with a woman I am not really into but if you really are together and in the moment and this so called problem the OP is talking about is not on your mind or hers for that matter and you c*m certinly you would orgasm and shudder etc. I hope this clarifies it a little better.
 goodquestion
Joined: 6/29/2005
Msg: 39
so many men just don't know how to do it!
Posted: 8/29/2008 11:41:25 AM
In regards to my post 77 I am clarifing it for myself. It might not be the same in your case, or the next case for that matter. This problem she is talking about if a guy were to post something like this they would be accused of looking for material to use for self gratification while reading.
so many men just don't know how to do it!
Posted: 8/29/2008 11:53:48 AM
OK, since this thread got boring a long time ago...lets play a game. All responses must rhyme.

I'll go first.

Shirley stop making grumpy faces
just because the men don't know how to touch the right spaces.
How 'bout you just bend over and touch your laces
and we'll keep boning you like we're in races.

OH SNAP!
 goodquestion
Joined: 6/29/2005
Msg: 41
so many men just don't know how to do it!
Posted: 8/29/2008 12:07:30 PM

YOUR orgasm isn't just HIS responsibility.

Way to go windroper that hit the nail on the head. I have heard so many experts and sex educaters say this about women it is not funny that they have to take on some kind of resposability on there own. Your post is very well put and I have heard from more women how they enjoy watching there partner get off that some can not controll themselves and have orgasm after another from it, maybe not all but when debating a topic or issue like this it is very easy to lose sight of what the topic is, and lets not forget ( how many women posted they had the same problem if I am correct it was maybe one other one and that was it.

Sex is suppose to be fun the OP sounds very bored and wants and enjoys listening to herself and is trying to get a rise out of guys. How was it for her in her younger years. Most people know women are in there sexual prime when they are in there 30s and 40s and guys are when they are very young. So lets forget this experience thing and decifer if we are talking about experiences or experience which are two different things.
so many men just don't know how to do it!
Posted: 8/29/2008 12:19:16 PM
Nobody is playing my game. Hrmph.
 goodquestion
Joined: 6/29/2005
Msg: 46
so many men just don't know how to do it!
Posted: 8/29/2008 12:40:12 PM
Does shirley no how and the techniques used to delay ejaculation? There are techniques for it. Some men have a problem and maybe you might not concider it a problem but some women do that being they can't c*m during sex due to medication they are on and I have heard women complain that the sex is just to long and it begins to hurt them after a while.

How about guys that can not c*m fro recieving oral sex there are many threads on it is it because the woman does not know what she is doing? I have heard women say that let me try and I will show you how it is done and I will get any man off with oral. There are also guys that cant c*m during intercoarse which is usually blamed on they are so inclined to be used to there hand that intercoarse just does not do it. These are all true facts. Lets face it getting naked with some one you enjoy always feels good in one way or another I do not think that can be denied and if does not feel good it is sad that you are missing out.
 goodquestion
Joined: 6/29/2005
Msg: 47
so many men just don't know how to do it!
Posted: 8/29/2008 12:44:06 PM

Hmmm... I guess she just wants to talk dirty with you boys. She isn't interested in responding to female comments that don't back up her game.

windroper again you hit the nail on the head I did not want to say it I wanted it to come from a woman. That is exactly what is going on here there is no foundation to her claim the framework is not there and nothing can be backed up when dealing or debating with a woman. It just proves that trying to get on the nerves of guys just does not work with every guy, not this one anyway.
 goodquestion
Joined: 6/29/2005
Msg: 50
so many men just don't know how to do it!
Posted: 8/29/2008 12:56:12 PM

I'd be very interested in learning more techniques but learning to control your PC muscle during intercouse is one.

I forgot the name for anothe one but do no how it is done and that is just before ejaculation either your partner or you use a index finger and thumb or simalar and squeeze the main vein or what ever the technical name for it is undernieth the penis gently for 10 seconds and that is like a rest button the guy can start over again and usually last longer. After doing this several times it is like training it can be stopped and ejaculation is delayed because it is installed in the mind even though it is not being done physically I hope that might shed some light on it and if I am wron I stand to be corrected as I do not know the exact name of the technique.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 54
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so many men just don't know how to do it!
Posted: 8/29/2008 1:46:33 PM
My limited experience is that men 50+ are the best when it comes to pleasing a woman. Not only do they have the experience, they have the desire and the patience. One guy said to me, "A woman's orgasm is the best part of sex." You rarely get that attitude from a younger guy. My experience with younger guys is that they tend to be focussed on their own pleasure.

I don't expect any man to *know* what works for me but I do expect him to want to learn.

Women are different. What works well for one doesn't work so well for another. I feel sorry for men. I think men are much simpler to please. Once I was with a guy and one day said to him playfully (when the timing was good), "Hey, I'd like to have a conversation about sex!" I dragged him to bed, got naked, and very nicely showed him what I *really* liked. He really appreciated it because, even though things had been going well enough up til then, he was obviously fumbling around a bit.

It works both ways. I make sure they know that I'm just as interested in knowing what they like and I like being good at it. And since I can't crawl inside of the to see what it's like or read their minds, they are just going to have to tell me. Of course, one reads body language and listens to all those non-verbal cues, but I love it when a guy lets me know real specifically what really works for him.

This is one of many reasons that I prefer a relationship over casual encounters. In a relationship, you "train" each other over time. In a brief fling, you don't have much time, if any, to do that. He also may not care, while in a relationship he's going to want to keep you interested.

Yes, consider it normal that you're going to have to let a man know what works best for *you.* And when you encounter one who is already good at it, you will *really* appreciate it!
 Blondecharmthe3rd
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 58
so many men just don't know how to do it!
Posted: 8/29/2008 3:55:27 PM
OP... you insult men from the get go. Then you go back and say you love teaching after crabbing about it.

This is why men look at women and think "b*tch". The constant back and forth, never being firm or standing by what you say or feel. My god, the world would be a better place if you DO continue to use your toys. Vibes desensitize which is what you DID TO YOURSELF. And the reason you've had sooooo many lovers is because they don't vibrate.

I have had many lovers, but out of sheer attraction and the ability to see sex for what it is. I love pleasing, being pleased. Some have lasted longer than others because it worked. I don't complain I've had awful lovers. Some men and I did not work together. Some women and I did not work together. Women need to speak up instead of laying there like a log thinking to herself "how can this guy/gal not KNOW what I need?????....."

OP likes to have people angry at her, wonder why she is divorced. There is nothing attractive about someone bitter, blaming everyone else for everything wrong in your life. How bout you try smiling, cut the sarcasm and enjoy what you have. Oh, and god I detest women who post children (or in your case, grandchildren)... Tacky!!! They are minors and you should refrain from posting their photos.
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