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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable?      Home login  
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 clasact
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 6
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Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable?Page 1 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
This site never ceases to amaze me.

Just when I thought there couldn't be more bizarre questions.......

I suggest that you don't get married, as rune has stated and then you can just head for the hills if/when that should happen. Why would you even want to get married if you are afraid your spouse perhaps will not maintain what you find physically attractive to you now? Why not just stay single?

This is not love but then again, you didn't say anything about "love" did you. Although in my mind marriage should equal love.

Physical health sometimes cannot be avoided and is sometimes out of anyone's ability to control.
 hellofagal
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 26
Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable?
Posted: 9/6/2008 12:50:41 PM
And what would you be willing to offer OP?..the same conditions?...men get fat,bald and homelier as they age too you know..I'd be interested to know who would screw up first..most likely you..I find it difficult to believe that someone who writes in his profile that he feeds the needy or whatever it says,would write something so dumb..
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 27
Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable?
Posted: 9/6/2008 12:52:35 PM

Would it be fair to include in a prenuptial that your spouse has to maintain physical health and physique?

I guess both parties could keep a arrangement going, sure - it'd have to be fair tho.

I've seen many married women that "let themselves go" right after marriage. It is unreasonable to request in a prenuptial that your wife stays within a certain weight range, and if not, it is grounds for divorce without having to give her half of everything?

You make that sound like MEN don't let themselves go....au contraire. If she's staying in shape and eating right, he better not be on the couch with beer and doritos after a steak dinner with his hand in his pants and his feet up.

I've heard that some people do this. Do their marriage last longer generally? Somehow I think it would facilitate a longer more fulfilling marriage .

It would if both partners desired good health and kept good fitness habits and motivated each other, sure.
 YingKissesYang
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 28
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Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable?
Posted: 9/6/2008 12:55:22 PM
Is everyone on the forums new? How many times do we have to visit this topic? PLEASE - VOTE TO DELETE is your friend. Use it like God intended.
 RazzleRoadRunner
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 30
Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable?
Posted: 9/6/2008 1:34:30 PM
O.K. Gapeman,

You are still young and god bless your parents for keeping you in good health...........but if you should ever loose your physique because of your own negligence or lack of understanding for good nutrition.............I would hope they wouldn't give you the time of day either.

Create your own demise and destiny!!!!!!!!

Good health to us all
 TheWeekdy
Joined: 10/13/2005
Msg: 32
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Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable?
Posted: 9/6/2008 2:22:33 PM

The responses here are predictable. This is the age of no responsibility!


Agreed, sir.

People, things are not as black and white as you so put it! We all like to think when we are in love we will ignore all the other persons "flaws", but that is easier said than done.

If looks weren't that big of a deal, people wouldn't have their own personal dating archetypes that they rigidly stick to. If you read any "nice guy/gal" post about how dating is all about looks, the same people in here would be snapping back with the "I don't want to settle" platitudes. I have a hard time believing that people turning off this "non-settling" compulsion just because they got married.

You all can cringe all you want, but at the end of the day, I think individuals like op are being actually being realistic about the implications brought upon by the "not settling" mindset. Naturally, this is taken to the extreme with it being a clause in a pre-nup, or is it?

Be well,

A Prosthetic Aesthetic
 RazzleRoadRunner
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 35
Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable?
Posted: 9/6/2008 3:07:15 PM

"Seriously though, when a woman gets into an accident and becomes disfigured, most men leave the marriage. Women on the other hand stay around and help their husband and remain with him even if he's disfigured and crippled. Men just don't. That's just the horrific reality of it. So it's something we all need to consider."


Well God Bless.........just looking to relay one of my experiences with a man I dated for a short time........and thank the lord it was only for a short time.

He married a woman at age 20, he was 23 and they had 4 children by him. He worked outside of the home and had very little to do with the home, his wife or children. She worked within the home to maintain it, raise children, cook meals and clean and manage the meager income he was able to provide, of which he wasn't even able to pay for healthcare for his family. He and the children got used to her providing services to them which were taken for granted big time, and he nor the children ever thought to give her a hand with anything. Eight years into the marriage, she was diagnosed with cancer and everyone thought it was a big joke and continued to expect her to carry the load, like she had always done.

One day she packed a bag with a few personal essentials and sought help in a cancer clinic, never letting her husband or family know where she was. They thought she had dropped off the edge of the planet, but she had met a very kind soul that helped her. She recovered, but never contacted her family again. She got on her feet again, worked hard at a paying job, made some wise investments and became quite wealthy and well known to the community. One of her sons contacted her after many years, but she soon learned that he was only interested in her wealth and quite bluntly told him and his father to get lost and get some backbone and moral fibre in their lives. She said to them, you left me for dead and didn't help when I needed you and that is how I want to remain in your lives.

She is a writer and a painter now and lives well in a part of Canada. She is a dear friend of mine and her secrets are safe with me.


 supernovastunnah
Joined: 4/26/2008
Msg: 39
Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable?
Posted: 9/6/2008 3:09:39 PM
i think its reasonable...i mean thats the whole reason hes marrying her without that whats the point of being with her???
 supernovastunnah
Joined: 4/26/2008
Msg: 40
Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable?
Posted: 9/6/2008 3:15:01 PM
anyone ever notice that people who are the most horrified by forums posted are normally unattractive and or not balling.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 41
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Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable?
Posted: 9/6/2008 3:17:07 PM
You can put pretty much anything into an agreement that you want... people do any manner of silly things including how frequent the sex, division of housework and frequency of going out/playing golf etc.

However you ought to consider a few things...

The cost of drawing up the pre-nup just went up... the more you step away from "the norm", the more it costs to "frame" ot in an actionable legal manner that Both will agree with.

How are you going to take action on it? Presuming that she'll still be willing to marry you? She puts on x amount of pounds and you'll divorce her? Don't need a pre nup for that. She'll get less in the settlement? How much less? Would it stand up in court?

Seems like a bad idea all around with no real up side. I think you ought to quit trying to control someone else's life by seeking unactionable guarantees... and focus on someone who shares your values.
 RazzleRoadRunner
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 48
Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable?
Posted: 9/6/2008 4:17:51 PM
It is true, a lot of men can't perform sexually beyond the age of 35 and therefore women should seek a prenuptial that includes lack of sexual compatability. Many couch potatoes out there.........they get fat, don't wash and have poor personal hygiene, go bald, are uncaring fathers and haven't a clue how to take care of their children, can't hold a job, can't cook or clean or fix anything around the house and whine so much that all the neighbors want to give him some cheese with his constant whining.

Ladies, your probably better off with a dog. At least you know what your getting and they are a lot less trouble. JMO
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 51
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Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable?
Posted: 9/6/2008 10:12:26 PM
wow, i've seen it all now...this forum is funny
 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 57
Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable?
Posted: 9/7/2008 10:43:40 AM

.....and I've seen even more men "let themselves go" whether they are married or not!

Absolutely. OP, have you ever discussed your fear of women "who let themselves go" after marriage with your intended? I have a feeling that this is a hidden agenda. If you really feel this way, I don't see you as marriage or relationship material. Good luck.
 Xcen
Joined: 4/7/2005
Msg: 61
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Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable?
Posted: 9/7/2008 2:38:38 PM
G. Ohara, msg 31, thx for the courage to respond as you did. It indeed is the age of NO personal responsibility, its always someone elses fault. Reducing things to the simplest equation most divorces probably happen because both parties ease up in the responsibility of maintaining their images (whatever they were) that attracted the couple together in the first place. They therefore become persons that the other did not marry and a partner finally decides to end the relationship. For those that advocate that the OP not marry and then just walk away whenever it suits him with no repercussions that would require a pre-nup , in addition to being cold-hearted in reality that is difficult to do. If they cohabit most states consider that similar to marraige and everything is subject to the rules of divorce. His pre-nup condition may seem shallow to most of us but at least it would be plainly stated and his (potential) mate at least made aware of the rules. The title asks whether its reasonable. The purpose of a pre-nup is to openly state the rules of a possible future event (splitting up) where partners agree to follow the pre-set rules. In that sense yes it is reasonable because everyone knows the expectations . Pre-nups in many ways are nifty things because they can provide a set of rules of operation "in-the-event-of". This can be a comfort, a plan, and a deflector of high drama and stress during times of major emotional upheaval. . A similar device is the "Advanced Directive" that many people sign that directs health-care workers not to prolong life-sustaining efforts if a person has basically reached a vegatative state. Life is a complex journey and there are no real guarantees of a happy, contented, challenge- free existence. One has to be able to adapt to unexpected setbacks and adversity and recover. Signing pieces of paper are just attempts at making life more predictable.
 Xcen
Joined: 4/7/2005
Msg: 62
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Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable?
Posted: 9/7/2008 2:50:25 PM
for those that keep mentioning equally shallow things the woman should put in the pre-nup,,,,,,,,,one of the "rules" of an enforceable pre-nup is that both parties be represented by legal counsel. Believe me the womans lawyer would make sure that it is tit-for-tat on clauses and conditions or he would recommend she not sign the pesky thing. The bottom line is if you dont like , or arent willing to abide by the rules laid out in a pre-nup,,,,,,,,,then do not sign it.
 Xcen
Joined: 4/7/2005
Msg: 67
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Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable?
Posted: 9/7/2008 3:06:37 PM
ROFL,,,,,,,,,,,Brooker, many relationships are based on flimsy, shallow grounds, including marraige..........so why not a pre-nup based similarly. Yep, you would indeed advocate a one-sided pre-nup.
 ImAHotMess
Joined: 7/11/2008
Msg: 70
Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable?
Posted: 9/7/2008 3:43:41 PM
Lets see your picture and we can decide if this should qualify for you...lmfao Good lord. I am thinking this guy may have more issues than National Geographic, and can not even show a pic of himeslf. Things what make you say MMmmmmmmm....I am learning that the people on here who some lame ass excuse as to why they can not show themselves, have the most dramatic threads or posts. NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am thnking maybe the OP has let himself go...or will have some fabulous excuse as to why he has no pic...friends computer, work for the FBI, blah blah blah.....
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 75
Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable?
Posted: 9/7/2008 4:58:44 PM
I still think it's fair if and only if a man is held to the same standard...and in most cases, we know that ain't gonna happen, so not to worry ladies. I mean, what man is going to actually subject himself to the same standard he wants you to follow, right?

So you either don't have to deal with this at all, or you get a permanent handsome hardbody with no physical flaws for a husband with legal recourse if he slips up. I say it's a win win.
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 76
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Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable?
Posted: 9/7/2008 5:05:14 PM
Ohhh my goodness!!! Where is your sense of humor people!!! YES!!! HELL YES!!! Put the clause in the prenup! I have a few of my own I want to add: If he develops ED, if he becomes bald (actually I don't really care about this one), if he gets fat (hmm, I don't really care about that one either) if he gets boring, if he gets laid off from a job and isn't contributing his 50% for more than 6 months, if he fails to keep nose and ear hair trimmed, LOL! I think this could be fun!

Hey... I heard that Jackie O had in the prenuptial with Aristotle exactly how many times per year she had to have sex with him, how many public appearances a year she had to make with him...and other stuff.

I'd say that anything 2 people AGREE on is "reasonable". If one doesn't agree, then don't sign the contract and don't get married....how much more reasonable does it get?
 TxSippiGal
Joined: 9/30/2007
Msg: 77
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Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable?
Posted: 9/7/2008 5:16:41 PM

Would it be fair to include in a prenuptial that your spouse has to maintain physical health and physique?

I've seen many married women that "let themselves go" right after marriage. It is unreasonable to request in a prenuptial that your wife stays within a certain weight range, and if not, it is grounds for divorce without having to give her half of everything?

I've heard that some people do this. Do their marriage last longer generally? Somehow I think it would facilitate a longer more fulfilling marriage .


As many men let themselves go as women so I would insist that you would also sign a prenup.. that you will stay in shape.

Also, I would include in your prenup that you be able to maintain an errection and bring me to climax every time we had sex and I would have you agree to have sex with me a minimum of 5times a week and if you failed to do that it would be grounds for divorce and remember this agreement is for life time not just first 10 years.

Also, you must maintain your original teeth, and if you lose your hair you must have a hair transplant.

Oh yeah and while I am in labor giving birth to your children you must allow me to hold onto your private parts and also allow me to pull your bottom hip up over your head.. just so you understand that probably one of the reasons why women's bodies get out of shape is first of all giving birth to your children.. it messes our bodies' hormones up.. many times we can't ever get them back normal.. not to speak of what it does to the rest of our body.

Oh and you can never had bad breath or fart in our presence.. or scratch yourself.. cuz that would be grounds for divorce..

And if you leave me for a younger woman you must give everything to me .. plus %75 of your income.. lets see how much she loves you then!!! huh?

I haven't read the posts but I am sure many ladies have alreayd raked you over the coals... I even forgot to see how old you were but based on your OP I think you are probably pretty young which would explain your lack of knowledge in that area.
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 78
Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable?
Posted: 9/7/2008 5:17:23 PM

I've seen many married women that "let themselves go" right after marriage.


It's my understanding that a perhaps small portion of the female population simply cannot regain the body they had pre-baby no matter what they do or how hard they work... so if you're vain enough that your woman's gotta be JUST SO... then don't knock her up.

Or you know... stop being a vain whiner guy.

You could offer to sign something promising that your noodle will never go soft on her to compensate...

Your call.
 The All Amazing Geek Girl
Joined: 7/12/2007
Msg: 81
Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable?
Posted: 9/7/2008 5:45:44 PM
Don't get married. As people age, their bodies change. There are thyroid conditions that can make you gain a lot of weight and it isn't your fault.


I'm not a fan of prenups of any kind...except for one. Who is the actress who had a prenup that stated if her husband ever cheated he owed her a million dollars? That one is worth signing.

The only pre-nup worth signing is this one. ^^^
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 84
Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable?
Posted: 9/7/2008 6:13:29 PM

Would it be fair to include in a prenuptial that your spouse has to maintain physical health and physique?

It would be fair if he signed to the same provisions.

I've seen many married women that "let themselves go" right after marriage. It is unreasonable to request in a prenuptial that your wife stays within a certain weight range, and if not, it is grounds for divorce without having to give her half of everything?

Some might think it's unreasonable ~ that whole "thick and thin, good or bad" stuff. I personally stay in better shape, better health and have a better mental attitude once in a commited relationship. I think it's all in how you think about it ~ no need to be in the best condition of my life for a stranger, but there certainly is reason to be in the best condition (mind/body/soul/etc.,) for someone I love. (And yes, men let themselves "go" just as often as women.)

I've heard that some people do this. Do their marriage last longer generally? Somehow I think it would facilitate a longer more fulfilling marriage .

I saw a program some 11+ years ago about a couple who weren't getting married, but had a Contractual Agreement (legally binding) for their relationship. It contained provisions from how often the cars were fueled to how many times per week they were intimate (and many other provisions as well.) The follow up show, about 10 years later provided the info I had wondered. Did it work? Yes it did in that case. They were just as happy as they day they agreed to the provisions and neither had failed on any of the terms according to them both. I don't know if they were just in-sync or if the Contract added/solidified all expectations ~ but it did seem to work for those two people.
 SueCat51
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 86
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Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable?
Posted: 9/7/2008 7:49:06 PM
Gapeman - if there is such a pre-nup out there that is so sexist (about the weight), than I think the same thing should be applied to men. While we're at it, why not also throw in the income. If he or she loses the job, there goes the marriage. Ain't life grand. Oh, and such a stupid pre-nup to maintain physique/good health, what ever happend to the marriage vows "for better or for worse, in sickness, and in health". God forbid if one gets cancer, gets into an accident and becomes disfigured. Oh, and don't forget health conditions in which you have to take steroids. Last but not least, what about gray hair and baldness? Yep, such a pre-nup would be "realistic".
 bcsofnc57
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 89
Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable?
Posted: 9/7/2008 8:39:21 PM
In the first place men "let themselves go" right after marriage as much as women do, if not more.

No it is not fair or reasonable to request that your spouse always have good health or stay at a certain weight. Exactly how do you control your health? Yes we can do certain things to help our health, but we do not have complete control of it.

A more fulfilling marriage? You have got to be kidding, right? It would seem to me it would make for a life of tension. I would be so tense just thinking that I was married to a man that worried that much about my weight, that I would end up a bag of bones because when I am tense I can't eat at all.

This would not be a marriage based on love, but more based on looks.
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