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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > He Won't Stop Calling...      Home login  
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 sporty_chick
Joined: 1/28/2006
Msg: 1
He Won't Stop Calling... Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I met a guy on here three months ago and we hit it off really well, we were inseparable for the first little while. The only problem is that we moved way too fast. We have since broken it off, near the end he went back to an old lover and I thought that was unacceptable; He apologized but I couldn’t deal with it. He states that we will be together eventually and that there is no one more perfect for him then me. He further states that since becoming a professional, which is a new stage in his life, he needs to go out and date even though he is picky about the little things and he may not find anyone, however he needs to try it out. I have asked him to stop all communication. I am not going to wait on the sidelines to see what happens. I have put myself out there for him and indicated if I am not the perfect one for him now then I will never be. He doesn’t get it, he won’t stop calling. What am I to do?
 FavoriteofSet
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 2
He Won't Stop Calling...
Posted: 9/6/2008 9:05:50 PM
Do not return any of his calls,and change your number.
Block him from all e mail as well.
 NiceGarden
Joined: 11/27/2007
Msg: 3
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History
He Won't Stop Calling...
Posted: 9/6/2008 9:06:38 PM
Get caller ID if you don't have it. Then, when you see its him calling, don't answer the phone.
 childofgodus
Joined: 4/22/2007
Msg: 4
He Won't Stop Calling...
Posted: 9/6/2008 9:07:51 PM
seems like you two met at wrong time in your lives , just make a right and if he,s real he;ll go right to , if not then your done
 LeeAnne51
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 5
He Won't Stop Calling...
Posted: 9/6/2008 9:09:40 PM
change your number, remind him what he is doing is considered stalking, being a professional now he must know what could happen if you call the police and report him for that....your perfect for your self and thats what counts, its good to see you will not tollerate this kind of treatment or behavior, now take the stand and make him understand you will do what ever it takes for him to leave you alone...good girl
 indehills
Joined: 2/23/2008
Msg: 6
He Won't Stop Calling...
Posted: 9/6/2008 9:25:56 PM
Lots of good advice so far, and that's exactly what you should do. And good for you for seeing him for what he is, and for not putting up with it!
 toomuch13
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 7
He Won't Stop Calling...
Posted: 9/6/2008 9:34:45 PM
Been there and done that. Just get a caller ID and don't answer your phone. Call the cops if he persists.
 Hardin9
Joined: 1/3/2008
Msg: 8
He Won't Stop Calling...
Posted: 9/6/2008 11:48:06 PM
I think this is a thread guys could learn from here.

The poster of this thread is complaining about all the energy this guy is expending to pursue her. Any guy in a similar situation read the responses to this forum. Then ask yourselves why would any guy in his right mind waste his time and energy on a girl like this. If you're looking for a main squeeze, have enough self respect to realize you can do better than this. No woman is worth this kind of hassle.


My question to the two responders to this post who have suggested to call the cops. THIS IS A MATTER BETWEEN TWO GROWN ADULTS! explain to me how this is a good use of public funds to have law enforcement involved in something like this. Something is seriously wrong with two adults that can't work out their own problems.


To all men reading this who are or have been in similar situation, NO WOMAN ON THIS PLANET IS WORTH THIS MUCH TROUBLE! START BEING VERY SELECTIVE OF WOMEN YOU GET INVOLVED WITH.



 moonflwrs
Joined: 9/30/2005
Msg: 9
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He Won't Stop Calling...
Posted: 9/6/2008 11:50:45 PM
I agree...we teach people how to treat us. If you're not interested in waiting to see if he can find someone better, which is what he's doing, DO NOT take his calls, read his emails, etc. He'll eventually get the hint if you stop communicating with him.
 kathareeene
Joined: 7/26/2007
Msg: 10
He Won't Stop Calling...
Posted: 9/7/2008 12:26:10 AM
dont answer

block him
u KNOW these answers already so come off it u want an EXCUSE to PROLONG the ABUSE to ur heart

ur choice kahti
 Hardin9
Joined: 1/3/2008
Msg: 11
He Won't Stop Calling...
Posted: 9/7/2008 12:53:14 AM
Robsia,

I'm not judging which of the two is the bad one here. It's irrelevant, I don't care which is the good one or bad one. This is a matter between TWO GROWN ADULTS, let them work it out themselves.

I'm quit sure if this was a matter between two women, or two men you or none of the other posters on here would be calling for law enforcement intervention. In fact more than likely you would be saying just what the heck I'm saying WORK IT OUT YOUR BETWEEN YOUR SELVES.

I find it very ironic that so many people in society are griping about how government is wasting public funds, well this is one way to stop wasting public funds by not having law enforcement involved in matters between two grown adults.



 theskinny
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 12
He Won't Stop Calling...
Posted: 9/7/2008 12:59:02 AM
Yep. It may take months, but stop answering his calls. You can change your number, but if you have mutual acquaintances, he will weasel his way into finding it out from someone. My ex-gf went through this when we started going out. It's a simple matter of conditioning. Once she actually took my advice, the guy stopped calling and sending emails. Email was easy enough to block though.
 Ron4567
Joined: 8/25/2008
Msg: 13
He Won't Stop Calling...
Posted: 9/7/2008 1:05:19 AM
Well said !!! I agree !!!
 laurinarose
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 14
He Won't Stop Calling...
Posted: 9/7/2008 1:06:43 AM
1) Change your phone number and don't publish it;

2) Tell him that you are taping these harassing phone calls and that you will take the
evidence to the prosecutor's office so that he/she can file a complaint against him
for stalking;

3) Tape his calls, and keep his emails and send them to his old girlfriend;

4) File a complaint with your states' Attorney General office.

5) Contact your telephone company, tell them the problem, and ask them to suggest
what you should do.

Notes:

- Before taping, find out if your state allows this. Here in Michigan, we can tape
without the other party knowing; also,

- Always, always keep a record of the time, date, and what he says when he bothers
you.

- Watch out. This guy may be dangerous. Make sure that your family knows what is
going on as well as your friends.
 spitfire6844
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 15
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He Won't Stop Calling...
Posted: 9/7/2008 1:24:02 AM

I have asked him to stop all communication.


OP: This quote is the key. In order to make it sink in, you need to apply the "no communication" rule to yourself as much as you do to him. If you relent and talk to the guy even once, then it becomes intermittent reinforcement and he'll be much less likely to understand that you want it to stop.

Some of the advice from the above posters is good----Get caller ID. Consider changing your phone number(s) and email addresses. Let a couple of acquaintances know where you are and are going to be around the clock, just in case. If you see him on the street or in a public place, you keep on walking without any greeting or acknowledgement. Even small talk could confuse the issue for him (and for yourself).

It's plain that you feel uncomfortable with further contact, so it's important that you don't allow any opportunities for dialogue which would obfuscate the finality of the breakup. Good luck.
 laurinarose
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 16
He Won't Stop Calling...
Posted: 9/7/2008 1:25:29 AM
Obviously, Hardin9, does not have the skills to understand the issue. When two

parties go to court to dispute an issue, should this be resolved by TWO GROWN

ADULTS as well. You are silly.


Moreover, you show no respect for others, nor any empathy for others.


It sounds like you have been rejected by women and you are hurt. It is obvious that
you have an adverse bias against not only the writer of the question but women in
general. Ask yourself, what was the real reason you responed to this question.
Was it because you have an anger problem against women and needed to get some of
your rage under control.


Anyways, pick on someone your own size, like a man.
 amberzamber
Joined: 7/16/2008
Msg: 17
He Won't Stop Calling...
Posted: 9/7/2008 1:33:33 AM
Hardin9: Wow, way to be an adult by despising women who dare stand up to men harassing them, is that your idea of romantic?

To be clear, she broke up with him because he left her for someone else...That's acceptable for you? She should be more understanding because he's pursuing her aggressively after he was an asssss? She doesn’t trust him anymore, end of story….

Per the OP: "He states that we will be together eventually and that there is no one more perfect for him then me."
That is stalker crazy talk! That is what men/women say who hunt down their exes and shoot them in the parking lots here they work etc. You have heard of domestic violence right? No NORMAL person tells someone who states over and over that they don't want to be with them, that "there is no one more perfect for you than me"

Yes, you call the cops and file a complaint so you can get a retraining order that way if he continues to call her he can get arrested. There is a line between aggressively pursuing someone when you’re interested and stalking/harassing them: it starts the minute she said to stop calling!

She should not have to change her number and disrupt her life because he won’t leave her alone. I’ve had my number for over 10 years…why should we have to rearrange our lives when someone refuses to back off?….

And OP, you lose all credibility if you answer even one more call…in fact if you get a restraining order it will go against YOU if you answer his calls. You can’t tell someone to stop contacting you but refuse to abide by it yourself…
 Hardin9
Joined: 1/3/2008
Msg: 18
He Won't Stop Calling...
Posted: 9/7/2008 1:39:08 AM
Laurinarose,

"When two parties go to court to dispute an issue, should this be resolved by TWO GROWN ADULTS as well. You are silly."

To this my answer YESSSSSSSSS. Most people go to court over none sense. Judges, DAs, and cops are all over paid as it is, we should be paying them to be involved matters that adults should resolve on their own. Let's stop treating adults like children. Further if the poster of this forum, and her former guy were in front of me right now I would tell them both to start acting like ADULTS. You both are 40+ not 9.

 pearlj
Joined: 3/1/2007
Msg: 19
He Won't Stop Calling...
Posted: 9/7/2008 1:48:19 AM
I think you want to know how you can continue answering his calls, waiting in the sidelines, and still have self respect. You know what to do, do it, quit whining. You cant have your cake and not have this guy be a mind fvckin' screwup at the same time. Open your eyes, drop him, a hotter guy is right around the corner lol.
 laurinarose
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 20
He Won't Stop Calling...
Posted: 9/7/2008 1:49:00 AM
Public funds are used to protect the society from those individual who commit criminal and civil acts. To keep peace in society, we hire law enforcement officers and maintain courts of law.

This guy that is harassing this lady may very well be committing a criminal act.
And if so, he must be prosecuted to protect our society. Public funds are suppose to be used for this very purpose. Or should she use a weapon to stop the harassment and the emotional distress that he may be causing her. In this case, we would still have to use public funds to prosecute her for murder or manslaughter or the trier of fact may find that she was justifed in her actions.

Moreover, the issue here is whether the facts show that this guy is breaking the law. Since I don't know the facts, I don't know whether he is or not. But I would recommend that she make an appointment with the city prosecutor and lay out the facts.

People who think the way you do, alarm me!
 pearlj
Joined: 3/1/2007
Msg: 21
He Won't Stop Calling...
Posted: 9/7/2008 1:56:34 AM

To all men reading this who are or have been in similar situation, NO WOMAN ON THIS PLANET IS WORTH THIS MUCH TROUBLE! START BEING VERY SELECTIVE OF WOMEN YOU GET INVOLVED WITH.

mmmkay, a lil projection there big guy? A lil threatened? a lil over reactive? or just a misogynist? Try to remember that this is a stranger's situation, she does not "represent" whomever you oh so obviously just stopped dating. The dude is obviously tryin' to keep her in "the tier" while bangin' high notes out of his current girl. Why defend him? Better yet, why are you so emotionally invested that you feel the need to defend him by attacking her? Hmmmm could be the strange ramblings of a guilty conscience...just sayin' is all lol
 laurinarose
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 22
He Won't Stop Calling...
Posted: 9/7/2008 1:58:46 AM
Hardin9

You would be disbarred from practicing law and be removed from the bench. It is clear that you would refuse to enforce the law.

I am not worry that you may become a judge. I doubt if you could even get through law school. As far as being a juror, they would kick you out since you show your bias against women.
 pearlj
Joined: 3/1/2007
Msg: 23
He Won't Stop Calling...
Posted: 9/7/2008 1:58:53 AM

I find it very ironic that so many people in society are griping about how government is wasting public funds, well this is one way to stop wasting public funds by not having law enforcement involved in matters between two grown adults.q

Oh look somebody's scuuuurrred lol
 pearlj
Joined: 3/1/2007
Msg: 24
He Won't Stop Calling...
Posted: 9/7/2008 2:13:37 AM

People who think the way you do, alarm me!

That's because this guy is the creepy women abuser stalker type. He's got the red flags. I wouldnt be surprised is HE was the creep who keeps harassing the woman. As for him in law enforcement, he obviously doesnt have the mental stability to pass the psych evals lol. But look, now we have done what he wants, I predict he'll keep coming back here defending his, ahem, "views" because it gets him attention, and he doesn't care if that attention is negative or positive. I say lets drop the subject, and let him crawl back into the hole he just crawled out of. His posts are already on his page, and any healthy woman would see that crap and run for cover. I think we make a good creep detector team lol. Mission accomplished lol.
 justme1124
Joined: 4/5/2007
Msg: 25
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He Won't Stop Calling...
Posted: 9/7/2008 4:11:24 AM
that'll teach you to rush in
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