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 BeholdCirce
Joined: 8/14/2008
Msg: 1
What is "DRAMA" ??Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
In many profiles I read "Must not have drama." Can someone be specific on what the true desire is?

Seriously, everyone has "drama" in thier life, otherwise there would be no fodder for soap operas..well besides the captured by alien episode and the lost your memory episode and started a new life on the other side of the world and the episode where you were buried alive...

Why must men advertise they don't want "drama"? Maybe just a space filler? OR Could it be true there are "drama-free" lives? What is that like?
 BeholdCirce
Joined: 8/14/2008
Msg: 2
What is DRAMA ??
Posted: 9/9/2008 8:23:30 PM
Thanks Kevin, I appreciate your feedback. So to clarify; work, or past relationships would be considered "drama"?

Not to be argumentative, but consider this: I haven't slept more than three hours a night in the last week due to on call duties for work, but it won't impress you how dedicated I am to my job? You won't understand that's the reason for the bags under my eyes when we meet for the first time tonight? (Hypothetical ;p) Perhaps men don't want to know that when I discovered my child was on meth, I drove him straight to MonteVista and left him there to get clean? Because in that in that moment I realized, that I alone could not help him become drug free, but that won't impress you much? Men think it's a bad idea to learn how I (or a prospective ) may have dealt with a bad situation with a former? All of that is considered "drama"? Would it be fair to say men in general don't like hearing about the life experiences of a woman the first few (or six, seven?) dates? When then?

For me these would be telling characteristics of someone I may (or may not) decide to spend some time with. Again, for me, I think I'd rather get some of that important stuff up front so I can make a decision about HOW this person has dealt with "drama" in thier life and if I should cut and run! By the way, I have found men an easy egg to crack when queried about so called "drama" topics..so much so, that rarely do I get asked the same in return. I guess they must be so happy to have someone listen to their stories! :)
 BeholdCirce
Joined: 8/14/2008
Msg: 3
What is DRAMA ??
Posted: 9/9/2008 9:11:08 PM
That is Jerry Springer!

LOL! Cut and run. Next!

Kevin, I know we are few, but honest women with real and meaningful lives are looking for love online too. Don't be gullible, just outwardly optimistic, that's a huge attraction.

Thanks again for your comments.
 867love
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 4
What is DRAMA ??
Posted: 9/15/2008 3:40:08 PM
drama in a relationship is when nothing goes to plan.
i/e:
NORMAL DATE: meet her, get her number, call and ask her out (she says yes) you pick her up -you go out and have a fun time. take her home, goodnight kiss. call her next day and ask her out again.

DRAMA DATE: meet her, get her number, -wrong number or her roommate, kids or ex answers the phone (she never gets the message). -run into her again, she has lame excuses as to why she never got back to you, she barrows $10 bucks from you -(never intending to pay you back). you run into her again, get the right number, call her, get put on hold several times cuz she has call waiting, she finally agrees to go out with you, however cancels at the last minute. finally get a time when she is free. get to her house -she's not ready -wait for her while she whines about everything she can think of, her hair, her car being impounded cuz she doesn't have any insurance, her cat has worms and her ex keeps calling her when he's drunk. finally get to the restaurant, she keeps smiling at the guy sitting at the table next to you, she drinks too much and gets sick. -take her home. -then she calls you twelve times a day for the next two weeks, wondering when you are going to ask her out again...
 BeholdCirce
Joined: 8/14/2008
Msg: 5
What is DRAMA ??
Posted: 9/15/2008 9:39:03 PM
Pre-date-Interview: See ad online and agree to meet for lunch (45min to an hour) ASAP so not a lot of time is invested emotionally (in writing & phone calls etc..). Worst case scenario, he is wearing a moomoo and is fifty years older than his picture and you weed out the whining, edgeiness, dependencies and all the other undesirable "dramatics" knowing that within ten minutes or so; we have a pleasant luncheon which ends in "Thank you for your time, but I don't feel a connection. Good luck in your search for love-online. " He doesn't know where I live, doesn't have my number to pine at me. visa versa and etc... NO drama! Best case scenario: We hit it off and talk about the next time we can get together, exchanging numbers and investing yourself in the potential of actually finding a compatible person, risking all the drama that comes with normal people and the respect that comes with making an appropriate choice in having an actual first date? Maybe I'm just a dreamer, but I swear there are so many really cool people online just looking for the same spark I am and have no ill-will when we meet aand it is not mutual. We "just keep swimming" ...
 outlawtomboy
Joined: 12/19/2007
Msg: 6
What is DRAMA ??
Posted: 9/17/2008 3:34:24 PM
funny thing is, it seems like some of the ones who say they can't tolerate drama are the fussiest and most dramatic ones of all. they also share the longest, bitter tales of woe, filled with blame for everyone else. the easy going ones never mention drama!
 jm0405
Joined: 7/7/2008
Msg: 7
What is DRAMA ??
Posted: 2/3/2009 6:20:53 AM
Drama to me is the kind where the woman incessantly nags the man - He spends too much time with his car, too much time in the garage, he loves football more than her. Then there's the little Drama Queen that continuously sends IMs, emails, phone calls - "Where are you? You are exactly 4 minutes and 29 seconds late coming home from work!! YOU HAVE ANOTHER WOMAN - I JUST KNOW IT!!!!!!!! WHO IS SHE?" It's just those people that look for something wrong.

My advice for those women is this: Don't nag the man - get into his world a little bit - go out in the garage, hand him a wrench naked and TRUST ME - THAT CAR WILL BE IGNORED!!!! Football season? Sport a jersey, thong underwear, put beer in the fridge and offer snacks - for the games on Sunday - the closer the score, the better the sex will be during halftime! Quityer****in' and enjoy the journey!!
 dukums
Joined: 7/19/2007
Msg: 8
What is DRAMA ??
Posted: 2/3/2009 11:24:38 AM
Well drama to me is a person that constantly has emotional turmoil happening in their life, many times over stuff that is "just life". It is usually negative emotional stuff and it usually is designed to bring attention or sympathy to the one having the drama. They thrive on the attention that comes from being emotionally upset.
 openlybi775
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 9
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History
What is DRAMA ??
Posted: 4/25/2009 10:05:48 PM
Well if everyone has Drama in there life then you already know the meaning of drama, right???

I think what men are trying to say is the same thing I am trying to say in my profile. I don't get along with a lot of women because I cannot stand listening to this crap;

"Oh my god, you know what my husband did the other day, I could of killed him!" and you go on and on about some dumb argument because of something he did when the entire time you thought I was listening... LOL... I can be an awesome friend but I have my own things to deal with in life, I don't have time to listen to other people's negative issues. Some men are guilty of doing the same crap too!

I think men do not want to sit there and listen to the girl talk about her x boyfriends, all the mean things they did, and just sit there like your chatting with your girlfriend. They want to hear real things about you. They want to get to know you and all you show them when you sit there talking about drama is that you like it! Men are simple as where women have to dig to get deep inside otherwise they don't feel like they really know you. When really it's just as simple as it can be. I live life with a drama free approach. If something happens that brings stress, well that's drama. Fix it or get rid of it. Don't sit and ponder with it. It's negativity and all that does is bring you down!!!!

Happy

"Janice Marie is and unlicensed, bipolar schizophrenic, psychotherapist; trapped, like most of us, in Reno, NV. She knows where she wants to go and how to get there, but fears she won't make it because of her fu%ked up head. All opinions by Janice Marie are with said emotional issues that come along with the few bottles of medication taken for mental issues!! The Dr. requires her to get out at least once a day before she is restrained to her quarters! Please do not hold Janice responsible for any decisions you actually make!!!!! Tune to openlybi775's profile for more of her freaky babbles!!!!!"

 GreenEyeItalianGuy
Joined: 3/14/2009
Msg: 10
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History
What is DRAMA ??
Posted: 8/3/2009 8:55:08 PM
i find it funny most girls say that. meanwhile there the ones that have 3 kids and have been divorced twice by the age of 20. plus they have all these requirements for you to message them. beggers cant be choosers moms always said
 nipoleon
Joined: 12/27/2005
Msg: 11
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What is DRAMA ??
Posted: 2/7/2010 3:51:45 AM
Drama results when an adult human being can't bring themselves to act better than a 3 yr. old child.
An inability to accept small disappointments in life.

Or.... the conviction that GOD created the universe in 6 days, just to screw with you.
 veronicarae
Joined: 2/6/2010
Msg: 12
What is DRAMA ??
Posted: 2/12/2010 3:04:12 PM
I assumed DRAMA meant constant problems in their life.

Examples...
Garnished wages
Court appearances for child support
Still fighting with ex's
Fired from yet another low paying job
Being sued for some bone headed move
Receiving another warrent for unpaid legal fines

I consider everyday problem to be just that, everyday, and just part of life. But if your life has been portrayed on Jerry Springer, that's DRAMA!
 Big_fun_wave
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 13
What is DRAMA ??
Posted: 10/7/2010 2:55:37 PM
In my eyes, you are a drama queen/king if:

1) You mislead someone into thinking you want a relationship, sex ect, only to do a 360 when it comes right down to it.

2) You express an interest in someone, only to tell them you don’t meet right away or veto an opportunity to meet just because your able to.

3) You express an interest in getting to know someone you meet online and then tell them you will only meet upon getting to know them better online.

If any of the above applies to you, then your not that serious about making friends and it explains why many of you would need to be on pof or any other dating site (lol) For us who are serious and not like the above, were here because theres to many of you. Couple that with the many other distractions in our day to day lives and it makes dating difficult.
 Ideoform
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 14
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What is DRAMA ??
Posted: 10/7/2010 3:17:30 PM
I love this quote about what drama is.

If you want to learn how to create drama, here it is.
If you want to avoid it, do the opposite.

"How to Create Epic Drama In Your Life"

"Are you getting your minimum daily requirements of chaos?
Do inner peace, gratitude, and contentment occasionally creep up on you and sabotage your ability to indulge in your anxiety?

Here’s a quick and handy two-step process for making sure your world is full of epic drama.

1. Believe and act like your safety, security, success and happiness are dependent on other people and forces outside of you that you can’t control.

2. Try to control them.

For those of you who prefer to keep it more complex and time-consuming, here are seven practical tips for making sure you achieve a high drama existence.

Let me be your drama director as we shout out the traditional opening words…
“Lights! Camera!! RE-ACTION!!!

The Seven Spiritual Steps To Successful Drama

1. Always Visualize The Worst Possible Outcome

Everybody accentuates the negative on occasion. What if I go broke? What if I lose my house? What if I get sick? What if I’m alone forever? What if I’m in this relationship forever? It’s perfectly human to use the power of negative thinking from time to time to conjure up worst-case scenarios about the future. But as your drama coach, I want to inspire you to focus all of your attention on the most negative possible outcomes all of the time. When this discipline has been achieved, you then relax into the certainty that you can always find something to freak out about in any situation, and that fear will never abandon you again.

2. Procrastinate & Downright Avoid Meditating

Being too busy and active to still your mind is essential on your path to drama-realization. Good drama requires us to be fully lost in our roles as actors on the stage, reading our reactive lines and getting engrossed in our stories. Meditation teaches us to become conscious of the part of us that is an audience member, witnessing and even enjoying our own performance. This detachment is the death of drama, and must be avoided at all costs. So keep busy, inside and out. Have you answered all your emails today? Is there something good on TV? Who needs a shoulder to lean on? Always make sure that your life and your mind are filled with clutter and free of those empty spaces between your thoughts that can threaten and disturb your absence of peace.

3. Get Good At Repressing and Exploding

Drama majors are often found swinging like a pendulum from one extreme to another, skillfully avoiding meddling with Mr. In Between, where the boredom can put you to sleep. All you need to do is to stuff your feelings till you can’t hold them in any longer and then explode without restraint or concern for anyone, especially the ones you care most about. As a practice, try being 100% nice and sweet in a relationship. Stretch yourself to accommodate as much and as long as you can, and then take the lid off and let the steam out, like Mt. Saint Helens does once in a while. Drama Queens (and Kings) know that there is nothing as satisfying as having a totally unpredictable volcanic eruption after being good, silent, and inactive for a spell.

4. Leave Your Inner Child Alone Inside You Without Parental Supervision

When our inner kids get scared, they create some really juicy drama, but only if we are committed to denying them our own re-assurance, empathy, guidance, and loving boundaries. When we have the will power to not succumb to such self-indulgent self-help nonsense, our inner kids will have no choice but to try to get those needs met solely from others, and usually through some pretty high drama antics. When two people in a relationship abandon their kids at the same time, oh boy, that’s when the fun kicks into high gear. The adults have left the vehicle, and you can guess who’s in the front seat, banging on the horn, flooding the accelerator, yelling out the window, and playing extreme bumper cars. Yippee!

5. Set Huge Goals, Maintain Unrealistic Expectations

There is nothing as beneficial to a dramatic lifestyle than developing the habit of reaching for the stars, falling short of your lofty goals, and punishing yourself for failing. Taking big leaps and falling flat on your face is paramount for maintaining low self-esteem, which is the foundation of all good drama. Reach for the mountain-top, and on the way don’t look down at your feet. Taking one step at a time is for people who lead uninteresting lives, filled with a lackluster sense of gentleness, peace, and other dismal downers that drama majors are skilled at sidestepping.

6. Judge Your Judgments

Every human being judges, but only the ones that have learned the art of judging their judgments excel in creating melodrama. Have you ever been known to shame and blame yourself for feeling afraid and stuck, telling yourself that there is something really wrong with you for not moving forward? Good! You are on the right track. Now, take your next step. Judge your judgments! Tell yourself that you should know better than to shame and blame yourself. Heap loads of guilt upon yourself for stooping yet again to the low consciousness of self-criticism. This will make you quite an energetic downer that can’t help but suck energy from those around you. You’ll be the lifelessness of the party! Can a good, high drama soap opera be far behind?

7. Get Grounded In The 3 B’s…. Blame, Blame, & Blame

Blaming yourself has already been covered. But don’t rest there. Blame everyone else too. Life’s not going the way you want? Blame! Blame first, ask questions and take responsibility later, if at all. Appropriate targets are Mom and Dad, friends (if you still have any), your mate (if they are still around), the Bush administration, the Clinton administration, big corporations, small minds, and, of course, God. Self-responsibility is highly overrated, and leads to issues losing their charge and actually getting resolved, which flushes good drama down the toilet. Instead, let it overflow, all over the tile of your life. Blame, Blame, Blame!

Affirmations for Good Drama

* Every day in every way I am stressing out over everything, real or imagined.
* Everything is working together to conspire to bring the worst possible outcome to my doorstep.
* Life is against me and I am doomed.
* I count my bills every day, and they are always more numerous than my blessings.
* God always gives me something to complain about.
* This, or something worse, is now manifesting for the highest cost of all concerned.
* I no longer have to work to create drama. Drama happens effortlessly and naturally, all around me.
* Whatever calamity I can conceive, I can achieve.
* I am always in the right place at the right time, successfully up to my ears in trouble.
* I always have everything I need to manifest everything I don’t want.
* All is hell in my world.

--Scott Kalechstein from www . scottsongs . com
 dreamkite
Joined: 9/29/2007
Msg: 15
What is DRAMA ??
Posted: 6/14/2011 12:35:45 PM
I agree with everything you said. Men say they want to get to know us. REALLY. It's our life lessons that make us who we are and you don't want to here about them . To much drama. lol
 Terramay
Joined: 2/16/2011
Msg: 16
What is DRAMA ??
Posted: 6/18/2011 11:06:01 AM
Lets not forget that the guys on here saying "no drama" indeed have the most baggage. But when you say that its like saying you cant handle things getting tough. Not that I would disclose any crazy secrets about myself any time soon in a relationship.
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