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 AUTHOR
 howtosurvivechaos.com
Joined: 6/4/2006
Msg: 1
SmartballsPage 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Are Smartballs ... a) a misnomer?, or b) a device that heightens a woman's sexual enjoyment? And... how do you use those damn things?
I read about Smartballs in a forum thread on cunnilingus. A woman posted how much she enjoyed these things inside her during oral... So, I ordered a pair and want some advice. For instance, is it appropriate for the man to pop these into a woman without telling her? Will saliva, or a woman's juices, be sufficient lubrication? And, is it alright to ask for them back?

This is posted and within 60 seconds members are voting to pull it....
It seems that many of you have no sense of humor.
If this survives I may get some answers.
 howtosurvivechaos.com
Joined: 6/4/2006
Msg: 2
Smartballs
Posted: 9/13/2008 2:02:19 PM
They're my balls. Why shouldn't I ask for them back?
 OneMoreTimeWithFeeling
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 3
Smartballs
Posted: 9/13/2008 2:26:13 PM

They're my balls. Why shouldn't I ask for them back?.




I know I wouldn't want someone else's used smartballs touching me. That's like borrowing someone else's vibrator. No thanks. If you are interesting in using these with a woman, how about one pair per person? I just googled them, and they aren't all that expensive.
 howtosurvivechaos.com
Joined: 6/4/2006
Msg: 4
Smartballs
Posted: 9/13/2008 2:34:42 PM
I would think that Simple Green, alcohol, or even boiling them in water, would make them good as new.
 OneMoreTimeWithFeeling
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 5
Smartballs
Posted: 9/13/2008 2:43:34 PM
Now I'm thinking this is a humor thread


I would think that Simple Green, alcohol, or even boiling them in water, would make them good as new.


Umm NOOO!!! Unless you planned on using them in a condom, but still, trust me, it's not a good idea. Please do not be a smartball slut.
 namrael
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 6
Smartballs
Posted: 9/13/2008 2:46:02 PM
Unless you already have an agreement about such things, I wouldn't pop them in without asking her first! Saliva is never decent lubrication if you're talking about spitting on them; the combination of saliva and juices from cunnilingus might do it, but it would definitely be worth keeping some silicon-compatible lube around.

As to asking for them back: I'd consider that a bit tacky, personally, unless you make that clear from the get-go that you want to keep them. Very few women are going to want to play with sex toys that you've used on someone else, so unless you'd be keeping them for your own anal stimulation, consider them a gift and order a new pair for the next woman if you want to.
 namrael
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 7
Smartballs
Posted: 9/13/2008 2:48:25 PM

I would think that Simple Green, alcohol, or even boiling them in water, would make them good as new.


Er, alcohol stings, and Simple Green is unlikely to be a vagina-happy concoction. You can boil silicon toys, and it's pretty damn efficacious. Using condoms when toy-swapping is a good way to go, though be aware that many or most women are likely to be extremely turned off by the idea of used toys, even if they have been disinfected/covered ahead of time.
 howtosurvivechaos.com
Joined: 6/4/2006
Msg: 8
Smartballs
Posted: 9/13/2008 2:49:31 PM
Say, for instance, I do get my balls back and sanitized them...

What makes you think that I'll tell my next lady friend where they've been?
And, if they are germ-free, why should I be made to feel guilty about it?
 Closing Shop
Joined: 7/24/2008
Msg: 9
Smartballs
Posted: 9/13/2008 3:15:06 PM
is it appropriate for the man to pop these into a woman without telling her?

They're my balls. Why shouldn't I ask for them back?


Quite possibly the two funniest questions I've seen on these forums. The people who have voted to delete this thread need some smartballs shoved us their tight a$ses.

 OneMoreTimeWithFeeling
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 10
Smartballs
Posted: 9/13/2008 3:26:05 PM

What makes you think that I'll tell my next lady friend where they've been?
.


Obviously, you need some education on why it's not sanitary. Not to mention foul.

How about if someone reused a condom with you? They could clean it out and it would be all good to go, right? Although I might be overstepping my boundries assuming you even use condoms.

I would also assume unless they were coming straight out of the package, that they were used. I don't know about the women you are using these on, but I would guarantee if they knew where they had been before, they wouldn't be very gungho about having them recycled. At this point, I am assuming you've reused your smartballs in the past and I hope you don't catch any cooties or give something to some unsuspecting woman. Good luck to you.
 superbadzzz
Joined: 8/16/2008
Msg: 11
Smartballs
Posted: 9/13/2008 5:26:43 PM
They rolled off the bed
And onto the floor
I lost my two smartballs
When they rolled out the door

they rolled in the street
were inside her bush
and now my poor smartballs
are nothing but moosh
 howtosurvivechaos.com
Joined: 6/4/2006
Msg: 12
Smartballs
Posted: 9/13/2008 6:13:42 PM
You ladies are so worried about my balls being washed but you fail to recognize the fact that this post started asking a question about how to use Smartballs correctly. Everyone freaks out that I may reuse/recycle them on another woman. Come on, don't you care about the planet? We gotta recycle everything. And besides the subject is using Smartballs during cunnilingus. I plan to clean my balls real well but don't know where your genitals have been... Isn't that a bit of a double standard? That warm, moist, wet place is literally a breeding ground for all kinds of nasty organisms... And, you expect me to kiss, lick and suck on a thing full of potential cooties? What would you say if I whipped out a roll of Saranwrap.... A condom doesn't help in cunnilingus. And, if you don't trust that person why are you with them?
 CaliStevo
Joined: 9/2/2008
Msg: 13
Smartballs
Posted: 9/13/2008 6:25:44 PM
Too damn hilarious! from start to finish!
Recycled balls HaHa, yea goodluck with that 1

I take it, these are a newer version of the ole Ben-Wa balls huh? LOL
 jd28spot
Joined: 6/22/2006
Msg: 14
Smartballs
Posted: 9/13/2008 6:33:24 PM
OP.....Once you give a woman your balls.....they're HERS and HERS for keeps! No, you can't clean them up and use them on some other woman. Used balls are worthless......got it!
 howtosurvivechaos.com
Joined: 6/4/2006
Msg: 15
Smartballs
Posted: 9/13/2008 7:01:43 PM
It seems that every woman I meet wants my balls.
 howtosurvivechaos.com
Joined: 6/4/2006
Msg: 16
Smartballs
Posted: 9/13/2008 7:16:29 PM
Thank you deweylips. Finally someone has finally touched on the subject of my inquiry. Now, what else do I need to know to get the most out of my balls. Pulling them toward the opening....sliding them in and out...or, letting them go where they want to go.
 toomuch13
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 17
Smartballs
Posted: 9/13/2008 8:46:13 PM
OP, once the balls have been given to the lady, I would let her have them. Can't you afford another set of balls?
 toomuch13
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 18
Smartballs
Posted: 9/13/2008 8:48:36 PM
" That warm, moist, wet place is literally a breeding ground for all kinds of nasty organisms... And, you expect me to kiss, lick and suck on a thing full of potential cooties?"

The vagina is the cleaniest part of a woman's body. The mouth is a breeding ground for bacteria though.
 Ron9
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 19
Smartballs
Posted: 9/13/2008 8:56:33 PM
Hey ......... they are his balls lol.

Ruff crowd lol.
 Closing Shop
Joined: 7/24/2008
Msg: 20
Smartballs
Posted: 9/13/2008 11:05:34 PM

The vagina is the cleaniest part of a woman's body.


You must be thinking of a cat's tongue. Different kind of pu$sy.
 MadMicko
Joined: 10/2/2007
Msg: 21
view profile
History
Smartballs
Posted: 9/13/2008 11:19:51 PM
Let him do what vhe wants with his balls, they are his anyway. If you are the lucky woman that gets to see his balls, inspect them closley and make sure they havent been anywhere else. If his balls are still clean and shiny, go for it and enjoy. If the balls are a bit worn and old looking, tell him your not playing with them till he gets some new ones . this has been making me smile all day
 Ron9
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 22
Smartballs
Posted: 9/14/2008 12:08:09 AM
OMG esad ......... I almost peed my pants lol.

yeah OP - there is your answer right there - just put a string on them ..........

People are nutz I tell ya ........ nuts - balls - same thing lol.

Wait ..... I actually think some gals DO try to keep your weinersnitzel if you use it on them.
 howtosurvivechaos.com
Joined: 6/4/2006
Msg: 23
Smartballs
Posted: 9/14/2008 5:33:37 AM
Good idea esad. Instead of a pen chain I'll have a retractable key chain that clips to my belt (and never let my balls g0). Unfortunately, I'll have to keep my pants on... I might as well not take my work boots off either (out of respect I'll make sure to knock any horse shit off of them). And, once my balls get old and ragged, I'll put them into a recycled produce veggie bag (as a recycled condom seems a little tacky) before shoving them up a Sheila's rectum... They go up her rectum, right?

Hopefully she has little memory of that night.
I just have to remember, never use my real name...
Don't take her home with me, or tell her where I work...

What's really fascinating...
And, something I have never understood...
Is when I treat a woman like a Goddess, she walks all over me...
But, when I treat a woman like crap, she becomes my slave and worships me.

Now, that I have your attention please tell me why women love to be treated poorly. Remember men, don't listen to what they say, listen to what they don't say.
Is it that nice guys bore women? Is it better to keep them guessing than let them know how we feel?
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 24
view profile
History
Smartballs
Posted: 9/14/2008 6:53:47 AM

A woman posted how much she enjoyed these things inside her during oral...


I believe that woman was me.

I won't get into the whole toy sharing aspect of this, as I think it's been done to death already and hopefully you paid attention as to how women actually FEEL about that.

As for HOW to use them... they do come with instructions. Did you read them? I've never needed additional lubricant.

Insertions depends on you. I've put them in and shown up at my guy's and let him discover them on his own. He's asked me to insert them before we go out for dinner. He's also bent me over the side of the bed and pushed them in as I was getting dressed to go out. I've been naked and on my back and he's inserted them.

Personally I prefer it when he's tugging slightly on them during oral. Give the string a bit of a shake and wow... otherwise I think they are overrated as far as a general stimulant. I feel them when I'm driving my truck over bumpy roads and when he's manually manipulating them.. other then that.. meh.

At $25 a set, use them on your lady friend and send them home with her. My guy just said.. "It's better then flowers or chocolate." Wise words from a man his age. The only toys I'm comfortable sharing are the glass ones as they can be completely 100% sterilized between uses without the use of harsh chemicals that will burn my sensitive inner girlie bits. My guy has used a vast variety of things with his previous partner, and we've talked about them.. guess what??? He's bought me my own to use. He's not a cheap old **stard who's willing to risk my health and our play time by not letting the moths outta his wallet.
 HarDayKnight
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 25
Smartballs
Posted: 9/14/2008 7:12:36 AM

You must be thinking of a cat's tongue. Different kind of pu$sy.



Would you kindly stop posting my thoughts. You're scaring me.






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