Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 2
view profile
History
Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?Page 1 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
No I would not reject a man who does not want to drink wine socially or not at all.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 3
Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/20/2008 5:54:40 PM
I wouldn't reject a man because he does or doesn't drink wine (unless he drank to excess), but yes, there are things on profiles that would cause me "reject" someone or not contact him.

For instance, if a man says that his Christian religion is very important to him and he is looking for a godly wife, I wouldn't contact him since I am pagan.

I wouldn't contact a man whose main interest in life is NASCAR.

I am sure that many men don't contact me because of things that my profile says. I don't think of it as rejection, but just incompatibility.
 Karrpilot
Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 5
view profile
History
Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/20/2008 6:49:42 PM
I have. One lady said she was into casinos and gambling. Not my style. Another lady had a yes in the slot for drugs. And of course the seperated will get a no from me everytime. Along with a distance issue. There are all kinds of reasons to reject someone.

And the opposite has happened to me. I guess the ladies saw something in the ol' pilot's profile that sent them packing. Oh well.
 Nancy54534
Joined: 1/30/2008
Msg: 8
view profile
History
Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/20/2008 8:16:48 PM
There are few things, where I live distance and having a dog rescue has caused some to rethink their initial emails. Which is fine with me I understand not everyone is compatible with every aspect of a person's individual taste or life style. It does take trial and error, or kiss some frogs if you get the opportunity! Life is a blending of attitudes, choices and views who knows what chemistry can evolve from emails or a meeting
Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/20/2008 8:27:24 PM
All the time; how else would you evaluate someone initially, other than thru their profile? Hopefully they've written enough for me to gauge at a quick first glance simply whether or not we have a shot at being compatible. Seriously religious types, heavy smokers, drinks too much, or objects to the fact that I drink socially...if that's in their profile, it provides me a way to weed out the ones I definitely won't be a match with, and vice versa.
 lynnnn
Joined: 7/1/2008
Msg: 10
Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/20/2008 9:30:22 PM
^^^^I agree, unless you reject people just based on their picture, what else is there? You read their profile and see if there are similar interests, likes, dislikes, and go from there. Of course I also check to see if they have given out any of their roses.
 ImThatSteve
Joined: 2/3/2008
Msg: 13
view profile
History
Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 4:08:28 AM
I wouldn't reject any woman because she doesn't drink. I don't drink myself because I don't like the effect it has on me. Now there are other reasons for passing by a profile, most of them have to do with extremely opposing personal views, beliefs, and personality. We all have our own tastes and preferances, that's why we're not all hooked up with the same type of person. Yes that was the BIGGEST overstatement of the obvious. LOL peace and good fortune to all. S.W.
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 14
Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 5:01:54 AM

And the opposite has happened to me. I guess the ladies saw something in the ol' pilot's profile that sent them packing. Oh well.


Guess she decided that you didn't have a perfectly healthy airplane.lol
 nikinikaia
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 15
view profile
History
Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 5:06:48 AM
Heck no - what someone likes or doesn't like is just a small facet of who they are as a person and how they treat people.

My profile states I'm not a smoker and prefer non-smokers. I've been married to two men who smoked - one respected me and didn't smoke in the house. The other one was just a plain a$$, would take a puff on his cigarette outside the house, come into the house, give me a kiss and blow the smoke into my mouth knowing I would have an allergic reaction.

So, no, I wouldn't dismiss someone based on their likes or dislikes they stated in their profile.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 16
view profile
History
Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 5:19:46 AM
Whether we realize it or not, we all reject people because of something that is either in or absent from the profile every day.

Your specific example I would not think would be a serious issue for anyone but possibly someone that is really a connoisseur and even then, I would think most folks could work around that. You do not personally have to appreciate something in order to gain something from someone else enjoying it. I do not particularly like wine although I do encounter some that I can cope with. I would presume I could find a way to enjoy myself if someone took me on a wine tasting tour; the beautiful country, certainly some wines that I actually would enjoy, and just spending time with someone that I care about.

If someone does not think that you can have a drink of your choice while he is having his wine probably has a drinking problem I don't want to touch with a ten foot pole. The bottom line is that while it may narrow the potential dating pool, those folks you don't want around anyway because you are not going to be compatible. That goes for people that wish to jump to conclusions about things they read; better they stay out of your life altogether.
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 22
view profile
History
Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 7:54:11 AM

Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Absolutely ... that's what the profiles are all about ... that's why we have a profile. It allows us to put in writing our likes and dislikes so that others can see them.

Just as I would probably not contact a man who has hobbies that I might find objectionable or have absolutely no interest in, I know for certain that I would not want a man to contact me if he didn't like music ... or dancing ... or if he was super religious (I'm not religious) or if he was super conservative (politically). Those men would not be a good match for me.

So yes ... I think we should reject someone because of something in their profile.

When you go shopping for a good sofa ... you have an idea of what you want. You're not going to pick one that is not the color you want, you'll reject others for not being as comfortable as you want. You are picky about it ... right?

All a profile does is tell us about the perspective person. If they have written something that does not appeal to us ... then obviously we just don't bother to contact that person ... eh?

Does it bother you knowing they wouldn't drink when you go out or whatever......knowing they won't share a bottle of wine with you?
No ... that's silly. I was having this conversation with someone just last night.

If I hook up with someone who doesn't drink, it doesn't mean anything except that anytime I go out with him, I automatically have a designated driver ...

 ImAHotMess
Joined: 7/11/2008
Msg: 23
Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 1:22:30 PM
It would really depend on what that "something" is. Heavy drinking, drugs,lying about age, living with mama and daddy at age 41...that kind of stuff, I will not even entertain. I do read profiles pretty thoroughly. I say what turns me off the most is people who hardly share anything about themselves then I feel like a dentist pulling teeth figuring out what someone is like!! Or you start talking to them for a while and get a lot of "oh by the ways."
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 26
Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 1:41:11 PM

i was reading the forums.......( still looking around this trying to figure out what is what) Is that why you didn't want to talk, because i didn't have roses.......i gave them out the first week i was here, and had no idea what they are supposed to mean.. did not realize you only got 2.... .....oh the first one i gave to a woman i thought had a wonderful profile, the 2nd was to my daughter who joined this to try to work on a broken heart......... Don't assume just because someone doesn't have a rose, there have been other motives


...For some reason people love to jump to conclusions about the roses, obviously you gave yours out to deserving people. I have only given out a limited amount of roses since joining....and they have been for very good reasons....a death, a friend feeling blue and some of my favourite guys on valentines day.....

Reject someone because of something in their profile....you bet. Sometimes there's red flags throughout a profile..... and it scares the hell out of me so I run for the hills.

...maeflowers

 lynnnn
Joined: 7/1/2008
Msg: 28
Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 2:14:27 PM
You get 2 roses every 30 days. You also have points that you can use to give gifts. There are lots of other things you can give, but the be mine rose's purpose is to tell the person you want them to be yours I have been played enough times, you want to give out your BE MINE to someone that you don't want to really be yours, that is your choice. To me it means you want someone to be yours!
 lynnnn
Joined: 7/1/2008
Msg: 29
Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 3:15:55 PM
Making a new profile when all you have to do is change all the information isn't too smart, makes no sense to me.


-If a guy is a man's man and likes doing guy stuff...........that's a deal breaker.
And what is considered guy stuff?

-You want a manly man that is confident, but not be interested in things that make him manly or confident.
Like what shouldn't he be interested in?

-You want a first date that takes a guy out of his comfort zone and makes him feel like he's being interviewed for a job or being interrogated, but expect him to not feel that way.
If a guy isn't comfortable making a date to do something, they shouldn't be dating. If you have only been on dates that aren't in your comfort zone, you only have yourself to blame. If you are out with someone that is interviewing you, guess what you choose her to go out with, you probably should have taken your time to make sure the questions she is asking were answered before you made the date.

-You want a guy to be your best friend, yet get offended if he treats you the way he treats his friends.
I certainly feel a woman should be treated like a woman regardless of a man being your friend or not. If he doesn't treat his friends with respect, he isn't someone I want to be friends with.

-Some women are going to look at this thread and think "blanket generalization" because they chose to overlook the words "some" and "many".
I read your profile and think you may need a profile review, if many of the women you go out with are that wrong for you.
 lynnnn
Joined: 7/1/2008
Msg: 32
Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 6:38:01 PM
??? Everything except for your date of birth is easily deleted. It isn't a canvas, it is a computer.

Don't get why you are so negative if you and someone else found each other.

Oh, I dunno. Spending the weekend replacing the clutch in your car?
Maybe hit the local t!tty bar once in awhile?
Working on a car can be done by mechanics that are paid less than the person who owns the car, why should he waste his time when there is a perfectly good golf course waiting? The don't have strip bars around here, you have to go to the city for that lovely feature.

I certainly have listened to men talking. I must assume that the stereotypes of some men are true and not just jokes on TV. I know that I can discuss the stock market, football games, and golf right along with the boys.

I guess that is why there is a section where you write about yourself. You know a little more about who they are and keeps you from meeting someone that would seem like from another world to me.
 WeeeSplatt
Joined: 4/26/2008
Msg: 33
view profile
History
Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 6:44:50 PM
It's rare that I'd reject someone just because of the options they select. Having some different interests is fine, just as long as they're not ones that really go against my beliefs, for example killing animals for fun (I don't have a problem if you're going to eat them).

It's far more common that I'd move on because of things they have written by hand in the main profile body.

The usual failings are:
1) Cannot spell, or write a sentence. 14 lines of waffle without a single punctuation mark!
2) Blatant fakes, although this is less of a problem ones the kiddies are back in school.
3) Love themselves, although they're usually caught by the first category already!
 GoneSailinBabe
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 37
Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 7:52:28 PM
I wouldn't reject someone for not drinking wine - even though my family has a vineyard.

Now I might reject a man for some other innocuous dumb little insignificant reason. But those occur on random and never expected nor predicted occasions - so men can't really anticipate or edit what THAT potential may be.

Neither could I.

I know it when I see it.
?
 GoneSailinBabe
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 38
Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 7:55:43 PM

If a guy is a man's man and likes doing guy stuff...........that's a deal breaker.


Perhaps you might consider dating non-men?

I would prefer not to date a man who does girlie stuff in his spare time.

Does anyone want to make a thread defining what constitutes "guy stuff" and "girlie stuff".

I'll cover the girlie - playing dress-up with my lingerie, or mom's dresses and high heels, painting toenails shades like "Raspberry Kiss" or "Shocking Shell", eating chocolate frosting on a Ritz cracker while watching "Steel Magnolia's wearing a facial mask of cucumber....

 wotsnot2luv
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 39
view profile
History
Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 8:10:24 PM
I think if theres a deal-breaker, better to get it over with rather than waste time in endless emails etc covering the safe stuff..

Was going to just write to OP & say "hope you get to resolve the headache problem".. but come to think of it, I 've had wasted time in email & chat myself with one such um... man... as described under "girlie stuff".. oh dear.. had no idea for a while there..

So yes, get it over with please! Tell us!

& OP, hope you find its less of a worry than you think - & you do get to meet some to whom it doesnt matter at all.. good luck & best wishes
 Closing Shop
Joined: 7/24/2008
Msg: 40
Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 8:11:55 PM

I guess the point I was making is say you liked everything else about the person's profile and then you read they don't drink.


This is an interesting one to consider since I don't drink often but I do like to drink. I love a nice meal with great wine and ideally I'd like to be with someone whose drinking habits are similar to mine. I would never dismiss someone solely because he doesn't drink but I would view it as a small chink and too many small chinks can sometimes add up to one big chink. But if everything else in his profile sounded awesome, this wouldn't be a big deal, particularly if he didn't mind if I drank on occasion.
 lynnnn
Joined: 7/1/2008
Msg: 41
Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 9:00:36 PM
Oh yeah, you can change your profile name. Not sure why you don't know how to after you click edit then you click at the top Edit More Registration Details like passwords HERE
everything can be changed but your dob.

No there is no comparison. On a computer screen you press delete and it is all gone. I personally don't feel profiles are that creative on here and certainly don't read the long ones, I am not that bored or that interested. Paintings are entirely different that is a work of art that if done well is actually seen and felt by many. Profiles are seen and read by few.

As I said before, the people I know would rather have someone else ruin their clothing then ruining their own not to mention wasting their time when there are much more enjoyable things to do with their time. Nothing pretentious just fact. But you are describing the stereotypical person that we see on TV that I do not come in contact with and would not like to. I prefer gentlemen.

What we know about people is what they write in their profile. Profiles are in black and white and if you don't put in details it will alter the way you are perceived, sometimes details should be included.
 Ethnea
Joined: 7/18/2008
Msg: 43
Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/21/2008 11:21:59 PM
What the heck is a "manly man"?
 taogca
Joined: 7/22/2007
Msg: 46
view profile
History
Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/22/2008 4:51:49 AM
spicynicegirl,


responding to subject line question, YES, thats what profiles are about, giving info so you can make semi informed decision .
Certain many women wont contact me because of smoking or some other thing in my profile.

concerning the example you posted, wine drinking or lack there of wouldnt be an issue for me.
 lynnnn
Joined: 7/1/2008
Msg: 48
Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?
Posted: 9/22/2008 4:54:20 AM
Alls I can say is that some people write a bunch of crap that says nothing about them. It is total rhetoric that means nothing. I guess some people think they are highly funny when it reads like crap.

You are only allowed one profile on pof. You can be removed permanently for more than one profile on at the same time.

A gentleman is one that knows manners and uses them. I date men that have interests other than playing with things that someone else can work on for less money than they make, they don't have to get dirty, and they can utilize their time for more enjoyable activities. Usually men that prefer to use their brain in their job rather than do manual work. I do not date men that think that a fun afternoon is having a six pack and working on a car. They might golf and have a few drinks, but working on a car is not in list of exciting things to do. Of course visiting a museum would be another activity they would find interesting. Profiles can not be compared to art. Paintings that are considered art have been around for thousands of years and have been seen by billions. It is just ignorant to compare raisins with peaches.

Look you brought up the men standing around saying inappropriate jokes, working on cars, going to strip bars, etc., I don't know men like that and if you are one, that is your problem. I don't know what you think your profile says about you, but it reads like ramblings. I prefer to read straightforward information about what a man enjoys doing with his friends, family, or dates, that is what about me is about. If they mention in their profile physical activity, I know that they care about them self and that is important. Some people want to treat their profile as a joke, again, that is their problem and I don't bother reading the ramblings.

Beer guzzling, grease monkeys, saying inappropriate jokes do not interest me any more than someone representing them self with a photograph without their shirt on when they are over weight. They are unhealthy and their photograph says enough about them without reading their profile. This also goes for smoking being checked. Health is very important to me.

I think I have written enough on this subject. I think that it should be clear that I look for men I find to be intelligent, work with their minds and have activities that are physical rather than bending the elbow or getting greasy. I have no desire to get to know people that are not like this, this is why there is information written in black and white to describe who they are.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Would you reject someone because of something in their profile?