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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Only dating for attention, validation and free stuff?      Home login  
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 setuid
Joined: 9/5/2008
Msg: 1
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Only dating for attention, validation and free stuff?Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
What is it with the large and growing number of women on dating sites who exist solely to go out on dates for attention, validation and "free stuff", but with no intention of actually having any interest or exploring chemistry?

Before you jump on me, let me explain..

I've been on a few dates with women in the last month who went out with me and during or after the first date would say something like:

"Oh, I was never interested in you at all from the start, but it was a free date, so what the heck!"

or:

"I knew there would be no chemistry, but you invited me out, so I accepted. I didn't plan on there ever being a second date."

What is this?

And I say "large and growing", because I've talked to at least a dozen or more women randomly across all areas over IM (a random "survey", just to be sure), and at least half or more of them admit that they had good intentions when they joined the site (this site and Match), but once they saw the attention they were getting (hundreds of emails a week, hundreds of profile views a day), they decided to just go out and "feel good" by being treated like a princess, get compliments left and right from dozens of random guys they're being taken out by and the obligatory free dinner/ball game/whatever.

Should we turn the tables and do the same? Is this really what the online dating world has become? A field of borderline narcissists and liars?
 setuid
Joined: 9/5/2008
Msg: 2
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Only dating for attention, validation and free stuff?
Posted: 9/21/2008 6:02:13 AM
It's true, the kind of women that seem to contact me and appear to be attracted to me are the ones with some deep-seated, emotional issues and self-esteem issues. I'm sure I could psychoanalyze it and find that they lacked a strong relationship with their father or were sexually abused in their youth and so on. I'm not about to go there. My accepting their contact is probably seen as reciprocation or acceptance of their disorders. I need to change that in myself.

I'm definitely more discerning now when I see the hint of it in their conversation (rushing out to meet in person without ever asking some of those critical core first-date, dating questions prior to meeting up), and probably should be even more so in the future though.

Thanks for the tip.
 setuid
Joined: 9/5/2008
Msg: 3
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Only dating for attention, validation and free stuff?
Posted: 9/21/2008 6:04:02 AM

raise your bar


Funny you say that, because in a previous lengthy thread... it was suggested that my bar was too high, and I should lower it, and accept requests to date from people who would not normally be within my comfort zone. So I did. With the expected results mentioned above.

The bar goes back up now, a few notches higher than it was before.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 4
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Only dating for attention, validation and free stuff?
Posted: 9/21/2008 6:14:11 AM
Stop staring, you seem a smidge less condescending and full of yourself than the OP and I somehow do not see you attracting these "types" of women.

There are how many women on this site, and then those that have never heard of pof, and you conclude based on the experiences of a dozen(the majority of those are lying about this anyway), that this is a new trend.

Based on a person's voice, the second quote you share could easily be construed as meaning that the person did not see an immediate connection in e-mails and phone contact but decided to meet the person to see if there might be chemistry, i.e. not planning on the meeting going anywhere but open to the possibility.

Has it occurred to you that the common denominator is you and that perhaps you seek vapid people because you believe they are something they are not because....

Another rocket scientist that wishes to paint the whole dating community, or at least one gender, with a wide and fairly inaccurate and retarded brush, whoohoo. Step away from the crack pipe.
 setuid
Joined: 9/5/2008
Msg: 5
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Only dating for attention, validation and free stuff?
Posted: 9/21/2008 6:21:00 AM

Another rocket scientist that wishes to paint the whole dating community, or at least one gender, with a wide and fairly inaccurate and retarded brush, whoohoo. Step away from the crack pipe.


If you READ what I wrote, I said it was a trend with women who started on these sites with (what appeared to be) clean intentions, but then decided to change their behavior and motives, based solely on the attention and validation they were getting. Yes, the trend is swinging to that metric, that is a measurable fact.

Besides, who would lie about that anyway? It just makes them look much cheaper and worthless overall.

In my experience, women don't generally choose to denigrate themselves, especially to people they know or to complete strangers. Yet you conclude the "majority" of them are lying about this anyway? (using the same "wide and fairly inaccurate and retarded brush" you so easily accuse me of wielding).

And at no point did I say "the whole dating community" was guilty of these behaviors. You attempted to insert those words into my mouth to substantiate your baseless argument.

The irony of it all.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 6
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Only dating for attention, validation and free stuff?
Posted: 9/21/2008 6:22:33 AM
Measureable by a miniscule portion of the female population that is not even a representative sample of this site let alone a nation or a county or something other than the dozen twits you encountered.
 CherylCake
Joined: 2/27/2007
Msg: 7
Only dating for attention, validation and free stuff?
Posted: 9/21/2008 6:25:35 AM
well, I consider every date a go-see. When I get there, I just want to go. See?
Not really, but you can't like everybody. Just go for coffee & skip the larger tab scenarios, if you can't afford to play.
 afashionlady
Joined: 4/19/2008
Msg: 8
Only dating for attention, validation and free stuff?
Posted: 9/21/2008 6:29:58 AM

Should we turn the tables and do the same?


Oh...you mean men who have no interest in you beyond seeing if they can get their d**k wet? Too late...they've beat you to the punch. If you're not trying to "ride" that gravy train then you're either slow or the women you're dating are smart enough to not even put it anywhere close to the table.


Is this really what the online dating world has become? A field of borderline narcissists and liars?


I guess that's better than the bottom feeders and fatties you were ****ing about before OP (yes I remember that thread).

Stop dating vapid, vain, self-absorbed "pretty women". You didn't lower your bar at all because if you did, the women who're taking you for a dinnner ride wouldn't be doing that. As several posters have said, you're the constant. Look at what you're doing, who you're choosing and stop doing that. Instead of taking a woman out to dinner for a first meeting (not date), meet for drink or coffee. Less investment and less of a chance for the users to get the chance TO use you. You're there to see if there's chemistry--not provide free meals. If you can't figure that out by now then you'll continuously be seen as a free meal ticket (and the word will spread here too after this thread!) and your first meetings will be you feeding some woman who waited all day to eat that expensive dinner you're offering up.

OR you can start meeting for coffee/soda/a drink to see if it's going to work and therefore weed out the ones who are gold diggers.

Funny...you seemed to be so sure and full of it before that I wouldn't have pegged you as one for falling for that crap. Whaddya know...you are.
 setuid
Joined: 9/5/2008
Msg: 9
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Only dating for attention, validation and free stuff?
Posted: 9/21/2008 6:41:15 AM
Oh...you mean men who have no interest in you beyond seeing if they can get their d**k wet?


Why does the mere mention of a man taking the lead, automatically mean they want to get their d*ck wet?

No, what I mean, is exactly what I said the first time; turning the tables. Going out with a woman with absolutely zero intention of ever seeing her again, from the start. This has nothing whatsoever to do with sex, so please stop trotting that tired old rhetoric out.


I guess that's better than the bottom feeders and fatties you were ****ing about before OP (yes I remember that thread).


The thread you (and many others) obviously misread and misinterpreted. If you recall, I said that I would be the bottom-feeder by accepting what remained after all the other women were taken/disregarded/not interested. I hope you remember it, because I certainly do.


If you can't figure that out by now then you'll continuously be seen as a free meal ticket (and the word will spread here too after this thread!)


I certainly hope it spreads, less of them to look in my direction, and less of them eating into my time finding a quality person to spend my time with.


and your first meetings will be you feeding some woman who waited all day to eat that expensive dinner you're offering up.


The price of the dinner doesn't matter to me, it barely makes a dent. If I want to have good, quality food and it happens to cost a little more, so be it. If I'm going to have a horrible date, at last I'll have enjoyed my meal.
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 10
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Only dating for attention, validation and free stuff?
Posted: 9/21/2008 6:42:12 AM

hundreds of emails a week, hundreds of profile views a day
You have no way of knowing if they really get that many emails a week and no one has any way of knowing how may times their profile has been viewed in one day ... so as far as I'm concerned ... the OP is full of it.

If there are women out there just looking for attention, validation and free stuff ... then they have found their match on here with all the men who are also just looking for attention, validation and a free f*ck!!!!! It's nothing any different than the hundreds (thousands) of men on here who are just here to get their dip stick wet.

Fortunately, not all men on here are out after that but they are few and far between. I've had the pleasure of meeting quite a few of them. If a man looks in the right areas of the pond ... he too will find quality women.
 setuid
Joined: 9/5/2008
Msg: 11
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Only dating for attention, validation and free stuff?
Posted: 9/21/2008 6:45:40 AM
You have no way of knowing if they really get that many emails a week and no one has any way of knowing how may times their profile has been viewed in one day ... so as far as I'm concerned ... the OP is full of it.


Actually, I DO know.

Two separate women I went out on dates with bought me back to their house to hang out. In one case, the first one showed me her Facebook page and "friended" me. She also logged into Match and added me as a Favorite. When she logged in, I saw that she had 200 emails in her Inbox and 556 profile views in the status bar. I don't how long that had accumulated, but that statistic is pretty well-known.

I've asked the other when I was at her place (based on my curiosity from the first one), and she openly said how many emails/winks/profile views she gets.

100 emails a week and at least double that in profile views/winks is fairly common, and not a myth. This is why the women don't respond to emails or winks, because they're so inundated with them they just disregard most of them, unless someone is persistent or has all of the Tiffany qualities they're looking for.
 setuid
Joined: 9/5/2008
Msg: 12
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Only dating for attention, validation and free stuff?
Posted: 9/21/2008 7:02:03 AM
What is happening is they are desensitizing themselves and will never make a connection as they are not looking for an emotional connection, but validation that they are desirable by someone or anyone.


You might be onto something here. So the question then becomes... should I only search for "new" people (within my range of preferences/location) who have recently joined these sites, before they become tainted by the aura of attention and validation?

Yes, people who are healthy and emotionally stable with proper boundaries and a spine, would not be affected by this, but I've thought that about others I've spoken to, and they fell prey to the mystique of "online dating" as well (anonymity, frivolity and so on).

It's much harder to be in the middle of an in-person conversation, and just stand up and walk away than it is to Read/Delete emails from someone you've clicked with and now have "traded up" to someone else for, online.

I'm not giving up the ship yet, there's bound to be women here (and in real-life) that I'm compatible with, and that are find me compatible with their own lifestyle and preferences.

I'm persistent and stubborn, and will keep on trying.

 afashionlady
Joined: 4/19/2008
Msg: 13
Only dating for attention, validation and free stuff?
Posted: 9/21/2008 7:02:40 AM

Why does the mere mention of a man taking the lead, automatically mean they want to get their d*ck wet?
No, what I mean, is exactly what I said the first time; turning the tables. Going out with a woman with absolutely zero intention of ever seeing her again, from the start. This has nothing whatsoever to do with sex, so please stop trotting that tired old rhetoric out.


Sure it does OP. I'll generalize here to make a point--how many men will see a woman and go out, have sex right away, and KNOW they have no intention of ever dealing with her again? For some of the women you're posting about, an expensive dinner is like that. It just doesn't involve sex. Make more sense? I'm not saying that is the usual--what I'm saying is that there are just as many men who are looking for "free stuff" aka sex as there are women looking for free meals.

[quoteThe thread you (and many others) obviously misread and misinterpreted. If you recall, I said that I would be the bottom-feeder by accepting what remained after all the other women were taken/disregarded/not interested. I hope you remember it, because I certainly do.

OP...unfortunately yes you will probably have the stink of that following you for a bit. Most of us didn't misinterpret. But yes when someone pointed out that your bottom feeder remark would include you, you freely admitted to being among the ranks. Not forgotten...trust me.


The price of the dinner doesn't matter to me, it barely makes a dent. If I want to have good, quality food and it happens to cost a little more, so be it. If I'm going to have a horrible date, at last I'll have enjoyed my meal.


The money spent isn't necessarily the issue. Justifying the dinner thing by saying oh well at least I got a nice meal out of it negates the whole purpose of this thread. You posted saying that you don't WANT to be the chuckwagon dinner guy but oh well, if I must I must. Which do you want?

I honestly agree with you--going out with a man just for a good meal is being a gold digger. Well meal digger. And I would think a bit less of someone that I knew did that. Food might be expensive but my dignity costs more. Trying to actually say to that person "oh I just wanted a free meal, sorry loser"--puts a bad taste in my mouth to contemplate it.
 setuid
Joined: 9/5/2008
Msg: 14
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Only dating for attention, validation and free stuff?
Posted: 9/21/2008 7:07:45 AM

Sure it does OP. I'll generalize here to make a point--how many men will see a woman and go out, have sex right away, and KNOW they have no intention of ever dealing with her again? For some of the women you're posting about, an expensive dinner is like that. It just doesn't involve sex. Make more sense?


You did read the OTHER thread I posted in, where I said I haven't had sex in over 3 years, right? I'm not looking for someone to go out and fsck. I'm looking for a partner to spend my days and nights with, someone to hold and share with and laugh with and have fun with. If sex becomes a component of that, great... but it isn't on my short list. Sex is just sex. You still have to have something in common to share and talk about before and after the sex.

Ultimately, if it works out, that person would need to fit what I perceive to be a healthy part-time role-model for my daughter when the three of us are spending time together. I can't have a "revolving door" of women coming in and out of my life, and my daughter's life.

If my daughter sees and builds a relationship with these women who then disappear/vanish, my daughter will learn that it isn't important to build lasting relationships in her life. And that's not healthy either.

Thanks for the candid comments, however. I'm taking them all under-wing.
 afashionlady
Joined: 4/19/2008
Msg: 15
Only dating for attention, validation and free stuff?
Posted: 9/21/2008 7:14:30 AM

should I only search for "new" people (within my range of preferences/location) who have recently joined these sites, before they become tainted by the aura of attention and validation?


Setuid...tsk, tsk. Don't use that tar brush so quickly my friend.

[quoteYes, people who are healthy and emotionally stable with proper boundaries and a spine, would not be affected by this, but I've thought that about others I've spoken to, and they fell prey to the mystique of "online dating" as well (anonymity, frivolity and so on).

If you can see that trait right away...move along. Seriously. I say that because you said...

[quite]It's much harder to be in the middle of an in-person conversation, and just stand up and walk away than it is to Read/Delete emails from someone you've clicked with and now have "traded up" to someone else for, online.

No, it's not. Sorry--does that sound rude? No it's not. Why? Because you're making the same mistake that so many women do and then post/whine about (sorry but we all know it's true). "He came to the restaurant smelling like ass/pawed me in the parking lot/said he had no money/was shorter/fatter/older/not anywhere like his photo!! (pick one or add yours) but I stayed on the date cause to leave would be rude". How is it rude to say to someone that you find their actions/words appalling, rude, obnoxious, put your money down for your share and then GO??? Unless you've allowed yourself to be picked up and driven to the date, why do you need to stay and be subjected to someone else's ignorance? Why allow your dinner to be ruined by some money grabber because you're trying to be polite? You might have clicked at first but the first time you get a whiff of gold digger...why continue the date? Do you think that the gold digger will go back into hiding or something?

Yes, please don't give up but realize that those women aren't seeing you as being polite by staying. They see you as being a patsy. And even though I might not agree with everything you write, you don't SEEM like you'd continually fall for that line of BS OP.
 afashionlady
Joined: 4/19/2008
Msg: 16
Only dating for attention, validation and free stuff?
Posted: 9/21/2008 7:18:00 AM

If sex becomes a component of that, great... but it isn't on my short list. Sex is just sex.


Not saying YOU OP. But you've just proved my point. To those men (and heck yes women--I'm all about equal opportunity), sex is just sex and if you give it up right away and I don't find you remotely interesting beyond your d**k or p**sy...then I move on and sex is just sex. Instead of a free meal, they get free sex. Again...it's free stuff still....right?
 setuid
Joined: 9/5/2008
Msg: 17
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Only dating for attention, validation and free stuff?
Posted: 9/21/2008 9:52:38 AM
That statistic is pretty well-known that you could get a dozen emails from one friend a day and be on face book for a few years.


Naturally, but I wasn't talking about emails/views on Facebook, I was talking about Match in that specific example.


Third I find it very hard to believe that you could IM women and ask them such a rude question and get an answer.


Which question were you specifically referring to? Asking if they use these dating sites to just go out and have fun, free dates, free meals with no intention of following through or testing the waters of chemistry? I fail to see how that is "rude" in any way. It's called being honest up-front. Shocking, I know.


the cost of a meal will not break any banks, we aren't talking jewelry here, you are talking about one freaking meal and then going to their place.


When you're trying to find someone compatible with you, a few dates a week can be upwards of a few hundred dollars, depending on how long the date lasts (i.e. just coffee/tea? coffee + dinner? coffee + dinner + drinks? Is there a cover charge? Did you have to drive/pay for gas/parking?)

Shall I break it down for you? We're not talking about the drive-through at McDonalds here.

It won't break the bank for me or others, but it may be a deal-breaker for some. Roll that out over a month of unsuccessful dates and it can get up there, especially when you're deceived into thinking there IS chemistry (great actresses here), and you want to do something nice to make the woman feel comfortable, at-ease, and that you're capable of taking care of her needs (tastes, preference for decor, area of town, etc.)

I CAN cook very well, and I'm happy to make a nice home-cooked meal for someone, in exchange for some great conversation and chemistry... but now we're back to bringing them to my house on the first few dates. Catch-22.


This is just another good guy thread trying to make it sound like women aren't really interested in relationships.


Don't try to twist this into a gender thing or a chauvinistic issue, because it isn't.

The fact is that there are a LOT of women (and men) on dating sites exclusively for the purpose of attention/validation/free meals and/or sex/being a player. It's just the result of the medium and how people are.

There are good people here as well, but it would seem (based on the threads in the forums, comments thereof), that a good majority of people are not in the minor category. The numbers go way down as quality goes way up... like diamonds or a good cut of steak or a fine wine.

Like anything worth having, it takes time to make sure you're making the best choice from all of your options and alternatives.
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 18
Only dating for attention, validation and free stuff?
Posted: 9/21/2008 10:20:03 AM

Measureable by a miniscule portion of the female population that is not even a representative sample of this site let alone a nation or a county or something other than the dozen twits you encountered.


Survey companies typically use a sample size of a thousand or two to represent millions of people every day. These results are then used to form opinions on something. Exactly how is a couple thousand representative of a couple hundred million.

I'd agree his sample size is too small, he should contact another dozen women to get verify the first dozen

OP, while I have not experienced it myself, I very well can bet there are women out there who are only looking to date for the attention and a free ride. To disagree with it is to say no women out there have gone on a date for the attention and free ride.

To claim that someone is the constant is definitely lazy thinking. If they go into situations knowing someone is looking for a free ride, and they go along with it, they have no one to blame but themselves.

Unfortunately, nothing anyone ever says on here will spread beyond those who use the forums. A small percentage of PoF users use the forums, and even fewer of those will be within your sphere of influence. Only a miniscule number will choose to not date you because of something you said on the forums.

Yes, forum posts appear on your profile, but if you post enough, they can get buried, and only if you have a forum stalker will those comments matter.

Trust me, back before I started making comments on the forums that would be the effect of self-castrating my dating chances, I didn't get much attention. Now that I don't care if someone gets offended by what I say, I do get a smidge more attention.
 setuid
Joined: 9/5/2008
Msg: 19
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Only dating for attention, validation and free stuff?
Posted: 9/21/2008 11:25:46 AM
You should get to know someone and see if you think there is a connection before you even go out.


And what led you to believe that we didn't think there was a connection? I don't need to go out and meet someone in person and waste my (and their) time, if there isn't something there worthy of pursuing.

I have all avenues of communication open to me; in-person, phone, IM, text message and email (in that order, ordered by response time). I can find out pretty quickly whether or not I want to push to meet someone in-person for a "date" after that, and I'm sure they can as well.


You don't set up another date with someone else until you know how the last one goes. How can you be the best date to any of them if you know tomorrow there will be another date?


I know how the last one goes, because the first date in-person is usually the last date with them. Full-stop. I don't need to go flitting around on 20 dates until I'm confident that it won't work out with someone.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with having several parallel levels of conversation going on in email, phone, text and IM with different women at the same time, across overlapping days, until you feel comfortable with one of them to set up a date and meet them in-person.

If that date goes sour, you continue the previous conversations with the other women, until one of those matures into a level comfortable enough to take out on a date. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

This isn't rocket science. Dating implies plurality, not monogamy.

I fully expect that they're doing the same thing, and I'd be limiting myself by not exploring my own preferences and choices as well. I don't just stop talking to all of the women on Monday because I've set up a date for Friday night with another woman.

If I find myself in a serious relationship with someone, I will tell the other people I'm talking to, that I'm focusing on one person, and back them off, and stop "dating". It's only fair to everyone to be honest about everything. I recognize not everyone does this, but I feel it's important for me and for them.

Having 3-4 dates in a week (morning tea here, lunch date there, dinner there) is not extreme at all, and in fact is pretty normal in the society and lifestyle I work and live within.
 iamhal9000
Joined: 7/23/2006
Msg: 20
Only dating for attention, validation and free stuff?
Posted: 9/21/2008 11:29:09 AM
OP, I see you're relatively new here.

As you can see, any time a guy merely questions the motivations of the women he's encountered, the forum participants quickly circle their wagons and try to direct all fault back to yourself. The longer you participate in the forums, the sooner you'll recognize the pattern, as well as the usual suspects.

You're fairly spot-on, however. Many (NOT ALL...NOT MOST) women are here (on the site, not necessarily the forums) for the validation and euphoria of being the center of a man's attention. They want to feel special by receiving gifts, whether it be actual presents, or dinner, or whatever, without the emotional attachment or obligation of a real relationship.

IMO, online dating is real cart-before-horse stuff. People want to create relationships before actually being familiar with one another, and that INCLUDES face-to-face meetings. No one can really get to know someone else, regardless of the number of emails, text messages, phone calls or IM chats, until you get in a RL situation, where mannerisms, gestures and body language become plainly evident.

Stick to your guns! There's nothing wrong with being more discerning. Why should you have to waste your TIME on women who aren't there for you, but rather for what you're giving them? Good luck, and happy fishing.
 trainer100
Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 21
Only dating for attention, validation and free stuff?
Posted: 9/21/2008 11:33:37 AM
I have found that some women are only on here for 'free stuff" as you say. Some are truly on here to find a companion. I could go out with a man every night if the time permitted or I desired. Unfortunatly women spend much time on this site sorting out all the cheating married men that try to hit on them. I have deleted several hundred in the last several months!
Power to the women and sit back and wait for a good man and don't date just to have a good meal. Go get a job!
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 22
Only dating for attention, validation and free stuff?
Posted: 9/21/2008 11:56:41 AM
~OP~ Maybe those few women implied such things, maybe they did admit there was no chemistry and they didn't expect more than just one date, however, it's implausible to believe that many women (and a rising vast majority of women according to you) do in fact, state these things openly and commonly. That simply makes no sense. I don't believe "the vast majority" of women think along those lines, and those who do, probably wouldn't vocalize such thoughts to the man they are supposedly pilfering a free meal from. If this has, in fact, happened to you personally ~ I would suggest that you evaluate the women you choose to associate with rather than pigeon-holing a "vast majority" into something as silly as "dinner diggers" (a lessor degree of the overgeneralized gold-diggers.) Sorry OP ~ I think this is just another woman bashing thread cleaverly disguised. JMO
 setuid
Joined: 9/5/2008
Msg: 23
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Only dating for attention, validation and free stuff?
Posted: 9/21/2008 12:54:05 PM

Yes, and the OP has posted he is a VP. If he was not interested in proclaiming his status... he would just say "financial services."


Good point, taken... and corrected. I originally put my title there because it became apparent that without me listing my income or my education level, I was getting no bites in the pond. When I listed my title, the minnows started swimming in closer.

I've taken it out and will see how that fares for a little while. Thanks for the tip.
 setuid
Joined: 9/5/2008
Msg: 24
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Only dating for attention, validation and free stuff?
Posted: 9/21/2008 12:57:29 PM

...however, it's implausible to believe that many women (and a rising vast majority of women according to you) do in fact, state these things openly and commonly. That simply makes no sense. I don't believe "the vast majority" of women think along those lines, and those who do, probably wouldn't vocalize such thoughts to the man they are supposedly pilfering a free meal from.


Please be very careful when you quote things and attribute them to me, especially when I did not say them. In fact, you were the first person in this entire thread to use the term "rising vast majority" and "vast majority", because I certainly asserted no such thing nor stated any such words.
 setuid
Joined: 9/5/2008
Msg: 25
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Only dating for attention, validation and free stuff?
Posted: 9/21/2008 1:16:21 PM

OBVIOUSLY, the common factor is YOU.


Another fallacy from the peanut gallery.

"If you're constantly getting stuck in traffic on the way to work down your busy streets, OBVIOUSLY the problem is you."

"If you live in Chinatown and all you're dating are Asians, OBVIOUSLY the problem is you."

Don't fall into the trap like so many before you. The world is not black and white.

The dating world's problem don't always boil down to the following issues:

1. OBVIOUSLY the problem is you! You must be doing something wrong.
2. You just hate the opposite sex and want to rant (this goes for players and feminazis)
3. Your too picky (or not picky enough)

Just because there are a lot of people out there looking to be "enabled", supported, coddled and pampered with absolutely no intention of reciprocating, does not mean the problem is ME.

Though I appreciate your "rectal approximation" of the matter.
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