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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > It's possible! Dreams are Happening Every Day...?      Home login  
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 1
It's possible! Dreams are Happening Every Day...?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Sorry couldn't resist a little Roger's and Hammerstein's on a Sunday...

In thinking about the "ideal relationship", and the ending of it (for whatever reason) if you had the one moment in time, that one opportunity to see that meaningful person again, to hold that person just one more time within the very best of time between you - without all the muck or whatever caused the relationship's end: Would you take the opportunity to embrace that moment in time and make the possibility of a dream fulfilled real.

If faced with having your dream in reality, would you seize it?
Or are dreams meant to remain wishes and hopes unaccomplished?

What if the person in your "dream" was has died or moved far away from you - what would it mean to you to have been offered that one more moment to hold them?

Knowing they would still leave in the end (no choice!) would you take the moment and hold them?

Or would the pain of the certain ending be too great?

Is it easier to not hold them and let go, regretting having the opportunity lost, than to hold them and experience the pain when they're gone?

If you knew - beyond a shadow of a doubt that you had one last opportunity or one MORE opportunity to hold someone you love would you do it, or allow the opportunity to pass - believing the pain AFTER would not be worth the price of the pleasure?

This topic isn't about specific situations.
It can be about anyone who has loved.
Or anyone who has hopes of loving.

Or people who have been put in the place of saying good bye - whether in death, in ending a relationship that wouldn't or couldn't work, or in moving away and moving on.

Would you seize the moment to make a dream real - even if only for a moment?
Joined: 8/19/2007
Msg: 2
It's possible! Dreams are Happening Every Day...?
Posted: 9/21/2008 4:40:22 PM
^^^^^^^ Amen brother, my feelings exactly. Every bit of it.
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 3
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It's possible! Dreams are Happening Every Day...?
Posted: 9/21/2008 5:20:29 PM
I suspect that most people would respond yes in terms of someone dying but it is interesting, this actually happened to me when I was 18.

I spent the summer with a lovely young man, gentleman, intelligent, funny. We weren't together long enough for the stupid to start coming out on either side so just nothing but good memories, he was my the one that got away for years. Anyway, we went through this big good-bye thing because I was moving a thousand miles away for school. Then I found out that I wasn't leaving for either a week or weekend, I honestly don't remember.

Interesting, because you would think he and I both would have grabbed those few extra days with each other but he told me he couldn't say good-bye, couldn't go through that again so even though we were about a 15 minute drive from each other, I didn't see him again for about 10 years. I don't regret respecting his wishes and I don't think it made me miserable at the time, at least not more so than moving away from him. I believed then if we were meant to get or stay together the distance wouldn't matter. Poor guy, you should have seen his face when I dropped the bomb about which college I was attending, a decision that was made long before he and I met.

I still feel that way and his current wife and four children would probably agree. Fact is if we could turn back the clock I think most of us would probably not change all that much. There have been a couple of people in my life that have passed, when I started to call them or something shortly before they died, got caught up and didn't. Wish I could have those do-overs again.
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 4
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It's possible! Dreams are Happening Every Day...?
Posted: 9/21/2008 6:39:25 PM

The only exception I'd ever have to my decision would be if they were taken away from me (like in death). Then it's a no brainer.
This _is_ what happened in my case, last year. Briefly, after a 12+yr relationship he died last year. And _no_ I wouldn't take the opportunity to embrace a "one more time" moment.

Like you said *BigDaddyJinx* I had my moments in time and given the scenrio the OP gives stating that knowing the person would have to leave in the end? No. That's what memories are for. I've moved on, I don't live for or in the past. It's not _all_ that different other than death of a s/o is final and one is left living and has to go on and live their lives and that's what I do. No use dwelling on what is now gone and not within reach. JMO
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 5
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It's possible! Dreams are Happening Every Day...?
Posted: 9/21/2008 6:56:06 PM
After reading this, I have a dream now of seeing all those who have died again. They live on in my heart, and who I've become, and in what the world has become because they were in it. I don't live in the past, but I haven't erased it, either.

In my dream I hold my baby daughter again, see her smile, hear her coo. I memorize every sense of it. Its like looking at photos, only she gets to see me back.

I get to hug my Grandmother and tell her again how much I love her and appreciate all she did for me--and she gets to see what I've become, how her Grandchildren and Great grandchildren have grown.

I get to see my father, and really see him with a long-distance view. And he gets to see me, and how I have survived and made meaning of many things. I want to vindicate his belief in me. And see him smile.

I feel their presence in my life today and I know they somehow see these things, but now I get to see the expression on their faces, and they get to see mine.

I would meet everyone I ever loved and had a relationship with. I have done this weekly with my ex. Why not with others? I don't want to change anything, just see how they are doing, and feel that connection once again. Nothing to live down, nothing to avenge, nothing to say, except feel that intertwining of destinies again for a moment.

I have always lived my life so that I have no regrets. Things haven't always worked out the way I had wanted them to. But new things happened instead. Things I never would have dreamed of.
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 6
It's possible! Dreams are Happening Every Day...?
Posted: 9/21/2008 7:40:56 PM
Thank you to everyone so far for sharing these moments and thoughts and choices.

I won't share personally, as yet, my reasons for the question.

I have them, and since making the post...well, time is the answer to everything isn't it?

The song that started this inside my head this afternoon is sung in R & H's Cinderella, the fairy godmother singing to our damsel that "It's possible - dreams are happening every day!"

For one reason or another this last year, I stopped believing that "it's possible" and "that dreams really CAN happen" and yet, if we really LOOK, really, really LOOK even at the moments lost we see dreams happen, special gifts of time blessed on us, and our memory and our heart captures those.

The woman who now dreams of holding again a lost daughter who's coo she knows and hears in her heart, the lady who still will catch the scent of him - on a breeze...

For me, it is always whispered footsteps muffled by Fall leaves, rustling in the newly mown grass outside my bedroom window.

For one more moment - one more time even if only that one time.

I feel it would be better than living a lifetime of never agains.
But only time will determine if my feeling is correct or only another hope based wish on Autumn stars.

(Sorry web, if that's just too Hallmarky for you, it's just how I roll.)
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 7
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It's possible! Dreams are Happening Every Day...?
Posted: 9/22/2008 1:44:29 AM
Soul2Soul, you might want to check out the God Winks books, they speak volumes to the situation you describe.
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 8
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It's possible! Dreams are Happening Every Day...?
Posted: 9/22/2008 4:51:18 AM
For some its true..the past is a nice place to visit..

I am not the same as i was then , mostly because of how i dealt with it all

calling someone back just to undo or redo or say something, seems selfish

do you think they would be thankful?

anybody calling me back better have more reason than nostalgia

or when i go..i take them back with me....
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 9
It's possible! Dreams are Happening Every Day...?
Posted: 9/22/2008 6:29:44 AM
ok so I'll take us one more level deeper - and thanks Kyn because you're getting me to where I'm going (I think....?)

IF I could go back to change the outcome though. Yes

How do you know that if the opportunity presented itself, and you took it - that the outcome wouldn't be different?

You're at this juncture of "one more time" or "not" - you can choose either, and the outcome is unknown - you may have a future OR you may have only the one moment and then no more.

Would you prefer to NOT risk, and be content in the "as is" OR would you gamble and go for the "what ever may be"?

Thanks again everyone for sharing your stories and your thoughts.

This is NOT so much about going back into your past though, as much as it's about the future.

The future ahead of us is wide open space.
A blank canvas.
You have a moment to grab an opportunity to influence the canvas ahead of you, gamble and grab your chance while you can or be content with how things are and hold on to having NOT done what ever you could for one more moment.

Hopefully, you're getting me?
(It's Monday and foggy in Iowa...)
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 10
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It's possible! Dreams are Happening Every Day...?
Posted: 9/22/2008 8:03:31 AM
In the case of failed relationships - I'd have to say no. I've said what I needed to say, and if there was any real connection, these people are still my friends...dreaming of another chance to see them is just silly because they are still in my life.

Those who have died - well, there have been two. My boys' dad died about a year ago; he was ill for a long time, in the hospital/nursing home for about a year and a half. I was there when he died (for my boys)...and I forgave him for everything he ever did to me. I don't need another moment with him.

For my fiancee who I lost four years ago - well. I held him in my arms when he died...and I'd go back to that particular moment in time, as painful as it was, because for me - that is the ultimate expression of what we were to each other. Just to feel him breathe again...but in the end that isn't possible - nor is it necessary. Life is a cycle - we have people and they go - and I choose to believe there is a reason for that.

I've been blessed to believe that I've said everything that needs to be said to those who are in my life, because that's just how I am...and I have no regrets.
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 11
It's possible! Dreams are Happening Every Day...?
Posted: 9/22/2008 9:42:45 AM
I do believe that dreams do become a reality, but we also need to realize that when your dream comes true, then what? You can become attached to that dream, so the dream becomes a nightmare. So realize that every moment is fleeting, filled with ups and downs, if you become too attached to the past, to a passing illusion you will fail to see the present. So then you will lose your sense of happiness because it was attached to that person, or that given moment, rather than a continuum of what you CAN do to make things better for yourself and others.
Joined: 4/7/2005
Msg: 12
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It's possible! Dreams are Happening Every Day...?
Posted: 9/22/2008 10:06:25 AM
Widowed mom:
I agree with everything you wrote about your personal story and believe that indeed God did smile upon you and your mate and handled the situation in His way.
Joined: 4/13/2006
Msg: 13
It's possible! Dreams are Happening Every Day...?
Posted: 9/22/2008 1:08:14 PM
I must say for me this is a no brainer it YES in less than a Heart beat with out any regrets, I was lucky to have a lived that love and lost it but still would do it over
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 14
It's possible! Dreams are Happening Every Day...?
Posted: 9/22/2008 6:06:19 PM

So its also about having the capability to recognize moments and graciously accept those gifts that are given to have faith and the courage of heart, mind and soul to follow the ones you should rather than manufacture reasons why you shouldnt and accept defeat and live within the bounds of convenience.
Being motivated by fear and mediocrity (or not as the case may be)...isnt a quality to be proud of...however...courage to make an attempt ...IS an admirable quality.


I have loved - deeply, vastly, immensely - once.
One time, one man.

He was not amazingly handsome. I have seen and known those. He wasn't these. He was in reality to most people, large. Large as in tall, large as in body shape, form, perhaps some would say proportional with a slight tummy and butt. But to me - it was just the right amount of him.

He was bald(ing) 40-something, father of three.

Certainly not Tom Cruise, although possibly Russell Crowe-esque.

He had an arrogant nose, and a manner of****ng one brow high in the air as if to question at all times your bullshit. And eyes wicked and blue like the Irish coast sky.

Brilliant. Musical. Buried deep beneath beleagured father, Catholic husband with shrewish wife. He was husband of an acquaintance and parent of children I directed in a show. The "couple" was seperated.

There are stories of course as there always are. And those are mine, and too entirely tedious yet intimate for me to share.

However, there came into our discussions the thing called "unconditional love" and "acceptance - no matter what" for life.

I - who never make promises or vows. Did.

I do nothing lightly nor in a small way.
And once sworn I do not falter.
I am not a quitter.

And along the way one begins to question when is "enough ever enough" without violating your original vow/pledge/committment.

Can one really vow to love unconditionally and then, form conditions?

When is the "one more thing" too many?

At what point in loving do you say - "that's it! You've reached the end?"

For me there was no point of end.
There was no "enough is enough".
We are humans.
We are flawed.
I MADE mistakes. Huge errors in judgement.
He did as well.
And yet, in spite of the enormous challenge of relating - the solidness of the love never waivered or faltered - the intensity NOT of a sexual attraction but simply a "KNOWING" that this was and is right.

For those who have known this type of love, you will understand.
For those who never have? You can only hope to one day find it and experience it.

I realized that both of us, had allowed stubborn-ness and pride to stand between us, instead of allowing love to rule and guide us.

There were opportunities when either of us, could have altered ending what was incredible, but instead we allowed it to just end.

And now I wonder, would it not have been better for me to let go of my pride, just to hold him - when that was all I wanted to do all along? While the opportunity was mine - why didn't I do it?

This hit me very hard last week on 9-11, especially.

I realized people who loved, people who had husbands or wives or lovers to hold, had taken from them - without volition - their choice to hold each other again. They didn't have the options to choose, they were just gone.

I HAD the option to choose. But I was too prideful. Too stubborn.

It reminded me of the song - "Ain't too proud to beg"

I'm not a begger. I have more self-confidence and self-worth than to do that. But I had the ability to be loving and soften myheart.

And I didn't.

If I had the opportunity to risk rejection, and gamble...with the potential pay out being holding him again?

I'd lose my pride in a heart beat.

Would it be any different?

I don't know.

But I'd rather hold him, than my pride.
Or live with a life full of never again's because I didn't take ONE MORE SHOT at the brass ring.

Like Kyn, I too think that some things happen because they are "meant". This is how it happened with us. He wasn't anyone I ever would have looked at twice - but I know without any doubt - he was who I was meant to be with - at that point in time.

Will or would anything ever alter?

I don't know that, because again, I follow my own instincts, guidance, spirit etc., and I am not a religious person although I believe I am spiritual.

I think if you sway from what is to be - karma bites you in the ass. Or will if you have wronged the senses of what is right and true. And to me you know which is which. It's like Jimney Cricket on your shoulder....

And I think if you don't get it right? Prepare to return as a lower life form until you're a pocket of puss on the hemorhoid of a snake's rectum....

So folks - that's where this all originated.
Made many of you think - about those you loved, lost, some who left you, and some who you left too.

Made some tears flow.
Made some smile.
Made others scoff and be negative.
That's ok - because ultimately it made everyone think.
And that's a good thing.

Be well!
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 15
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It's possible! Dreams are Happening Every Day...?
Posted: 9/24/2008 7:21:51 AM
Life is a series of moments in time. As humans, we get to relive them as memories, so it seems as if the reality might be better than the memory. But relationships are lived in the present. Moment by moment. This is a big part of why the relationship is so wonderful. It is how you felt in that moment when you were living it while sharing it with that person. Time stops and your present moment expands to include your entire awareness of being.

The relationship opened your heart. In Eastern thought, it opened your heart chakra. A person can be the catalyst to show you depths of feeling you hadn't experienced before. A person can cause you to stretch your ideas of love to encompass other things--such as loving someone unconditionally--knowing it will end, yet loving fully anyway.

A relationship that has a beginning and an end goes beyond that in our minds when we both anticipate its arrival, make plans and idealize the future.

This is the future now. This moment is when you can use what you have learned, and now your heart is opened. You have become a new person. Such possibilities....
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 16
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It's possible! Dreams are Happening Every Day...?
Posted: 9/24/2008 7:00:13 PM
"Do not seek the because - in love there is no because, no reason, no explanation, no solutions."

"Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death."

"Throw your dreams into space like a kite, and you do not know what it will bring back, a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country."

"Each contact with a human being is so rare, so precious, one should preserve it. "

"Dreams pass into the reality of action. From the actions stems the dream again; and this interdependence produces the highest form of living. "

~Anais Nin
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