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 AUTHOR
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 2
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Sure-Fire First-Date KillersPage 1 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
Wow... I'm dumbfounded... I mean, I'm utterly speechless.
 nerdsauce
Joined: 5/4/2008
Msg: 3
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Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/22/2008 10:53:47 AM
You sure know how to pick them.
 justme1201
Joined: 7/22/2007
Msg: 6
Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/22/2008 12:04:54 PM
Have you thought about sending out a pre-date questionnaire? ;-)

Great stories .. thanks for the laughs!
 pleasebehonest
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 10
Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/22/2008 12:40:42 PM
curious about how quickly between first online contact and that first date?

good luck
 Pokeysrevenge
Joined: 8/26/2008
Msg: 12
Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/22/2008 1:01:18 PM
Number 6 and Number 7 deserve a b1tch slap, for real.
 Pokeysrevenge
Joined: 8/26/2008
Msg: 15
Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/22/2008 1:03:39 PM
Chet B:

Her: You were supposed to pay no matter what it takes! You're a cheap skate!!!



Did you hit her after that? Because that really deserves a round house kick. What are you supposed to do, rip it out of her hands and demand that you pay for it? Jeez.
 Gangster Kitten
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 16
Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/22/2008 1:05:36 PM
I can totally relate Joe! Here are some of my snippetts:

Her: "Hey John. It's really nice to meet you."
Me: "Hi. Would you like to come to my place and see my collection of shovels?"
Her: "Huh, What?"
Me: "My shovels, they are my pretties. I use them to bury the bad ones, for the worms. The worms like bad ones."
Her: "You... are a weirdo." - (OMG?!!)
Me: "They're shiny, I keep them clean and make them pretty."
Her: "I'm leaving... Freak." - (ROFLMAO LOLOL. WHAT A CRAZY LOON AND NO MANNERS)




Her: "You're cuter in real life than you are in your picture!"
Me: "Thank you, you'd look much cuter in my basement."
Her: "Huh, What?"
Me: "I can juse see you all nice and tied up. You look so pretty and helpless."
Her: "I'm leaving." - (WTF?!)



Her: "I really enjoyed our evening together, Would you like to come in for some coffee?"

Me: "Coffee, What the Hell? Are you some Communist? Do you hate America?"

Her: "What?"

Me: "Coffee is the wine of the communist. You hate America, and it's foundations! You're in league with the Russians! YOU HATE FREEDOM! ADMIT IT! HERETIC! BURN THE WI-"

Her: ~Shuts door in my face.~ - (WTF HOW RUDE!)
 Gangster Kitten
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 17
Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/22/2008 1:07:10 PM

And just why the hell do you think I and the other female need ****ed slapped if I may ask?
This comming from a 20 year old kid no less.....


Mmm... Your misread her post. Even I could tell she meant examples number 6 and 7 on Joe's list. ~NOT POST 6 AND 7~
 Pokeysrevenge
Joined: 8/26/2008
Msg: 18
Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/22/2008 1:08:02 PM
Number 6 and Number 7 deserve a b1tch slap, for real.


And just why the hell do you think I and the other female need ****ed slapped if I may ask? This comming from a 20 year old kid no less....., who posts this in her profile:
***I can put a sailor to shame with the words that come out of my mouth sometimes.***




Number 6: "Good! Train them wrong so they die!!!"

Really? Do I need to explain why number 6 needs a slap since she's telling the man to KILL the police officers?


Number 7: "Her: “So how many people did you kill?!""

This one needs a slap to put her in her right mind. What kind of question is that to ask someone on the first date, let alone a combat veteran?!

My age has nothing to do with it Sweetbabe. I put the sailor line in profile so people KNOW that i have a dirty mouth, and that I'm not offended by curse words. My original post was not an attack on you or poster number 7, it was an attack on Number 6 and 7 of JOE'S POST.


Sweetbabe, we must have edited our posts at the same time. I'm not trying to start a piss match. :)
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 20
Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/22/2008 1:34:05 PM
Her: You were supposed to pay no matter what it takes! You're a cheap skate!!!




What a moron! Ha ha ha.
 Gangster Kitten
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 21
Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/22/2008 1:38:03 PM

John,

I read your post and your profile.

All I can say about it is:
Saving throw versus lunacy….FAILED!

(I figured you would get the reference…!)

I am thankful that you are a guy…if you were a woman living near me; chances are (with my luck) you would end up being “Number 11”!



:P

Too True. After that encounter with the mind-flayer, I've never really been the same. (Damn My Low Willpower saves.)
 nerdsauce
Joined: 5/4/2008
Msg: 22
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Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/22/2008 2:04:57 PM
I related to message 16, poor bluesbabe. I cannot believe you stuck in there that long. I don't think I have any stories to compare, but *paranoia* maybe I am the one who does the first date *killing* bwahahahahahahaha

Guy: What do you do for fun?
Me: Play video games!!11!!
Guy: Oh? What kind
Me: Console and PC games. Specifically MMO's, I also like pen and paper RPG's! I recently got into a few FPS'ers and really love GOW and AO2, but Mercenaries 2 hooked me with that trailer "oh no you didn't" it was amazing!! I can youtube the making of the trailer with the full song. Want to see it?
Guy: You are a nerd.
Me: Duh!
 exiss
Joined: 8/19/2007
Msg: 27
Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/22/2008 3:59:43 PM
I had one IM conversation where she asked if I had a webcam, I said no and asked why..... she said that if I did she'd be able to see spirits in the background and would be able to talk to them and tell me who they were.....
I'm afraid that after that, the only spirit in the room with me was Johnny Walker.......
 Karrpilot
Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 31
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Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/22/2008 4:34:56 PM
Her: I noticed that you are looking at me scratching myself. I think my dog has fleas.
Me: Umm, yes i noticed, but i was thinking more along the lines of a rash.
Her: Oh, ok.
Me, thinking to myself: Where is the nearest exit?

Yes, this actually happened to the ol' pilot.
 pricelessbrwnbeauty
Joined: 8/23/2007
Msg: 33
Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/22/2008 10:02:16 PM
You poor thing. I really mean that.. You can try to communicate with people long enough to get a sense of their fundamental values and screen out the ones that aren't compatible with you. Still, some people slip through that filter and end up as horrible first dates.

I applaud you for your perseverance and wish you all the best.
 Scorpio...
Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 36
Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/22/2008 10:54:39 PM
Oh you sure have your fair share of strange ones on here....
 GoneSailinBabe
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 37
Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/22/2008 11:04:22 PM
Joe, I was smirking on two but by number five I was laughingout loud...my fine oldest son is off to police academy....I hope he has a "trainer" just like you!

What a scream!

PS- thanks for serving our country and fighting for my right to speak whenever and however I wish.... I do it OFTEN so....THANKS!
 Deserea1
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 40
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Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/23/2008 8:53:36 AM
Holy shit. You have the patience of Jobe! I'd of sent this clown packing after the first restaurant and took a cab home. What a moron. You poor thing. Having to go thru that at all much less on your birthday. I hope every birthday since has been MUCH better for you!!!
 Shygeekyguy
Joined: 9/16/2008
Msg: 42
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Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/23/2008 10:38:42 AM
SweetSmartNSassy2, I think that 2ed guy may be suffering from some form of depression or bipolar disorder. He needs a doctor, not a date.

I once had a first date were we got pulled over for not wearing our seatbelts, and both got tickets. She then spent the whole date talking about how a few weeks ago she got really drunk and slept with one of her long time guy friends, decided it was a mistake, and that he had killed himself when she had told him that.
 paintmefun
Joined: 3/19/2008
Msg: 43
Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/23/2008 11:10:48 AM
Ever stop to think that maybe some are tired of the games that othes play? Or maybe that when we read a profile and hear it from a person over andover again about morals and honesty, we know in the end it is all bull. Like for instance, I went on my very first POF date, we had a good time, he emailed me and told me so. I though ahh, hes just being nice. I belived him when he said he had morals and honesty. He kept emailing, we had some great emails, he made me laugh, and i started to believe him when he said quote "thats who I am, a real genuine person". He was actually very enjoyable to talk to., and i was looking forward to seeing him again. So he even calls me the night before our second date and says I am looking forward to tomorrow, we are gonna have fun...Then he doesnt show up or call and then hid his profile. Have any clue why someone who is honest with morals and "genuine" would do that? Would it be easie rto say Hey i have been doing some thinking and think I am gonna take a different path in my life and put all my focus into enginneering, I had a great time and wont be seeing you anymore andgood luck to youOr how about I just didnt click with you, no harm no foul kinda thing. Just wondering your thoughts on this? Some of us our just smarter than others and cut it off beofre the first date. Some are smarter than others and know a line when they read it. I am not there yet.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 44
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Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/23/2008 11:32:18 AM
Lol! This is hilarious, at least there was some action on the verbal department. My date stares at me like I am juicy steaks ,while I am trying hard to lure him in social conversation. It makes me feel like a hard cored interogator with his one word answers. Cheers, Vannili
 just me67
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 46
Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/23/2008 12:33:15 PM
My first date experience:

Date shows up in HIS mother's car, my window doesn't go down (that should of been my first clue)

Date shows up with faded black jeans that you can write your name on his leg and you'd be able to see what I wrote (that should of been my second clue)

In the car, (back when I was a smoker) date smokes my entire pack of smokes and never replaces them (that should of been my third clue)

Arrive at the restaurant, I go and check my coat downstairs and took his with me! (that should of been the fourth clue)

Date claims to have been a vegetarian but when my veal dish arrives he ate half of it! said he hadn't eaten meat in 3 years!

Large amounts of food left over and he asks the waiter to "divy" it up so he can take half home...

The nightmare from He L L is almost over and I go to take out my coat check ticket which was a miniature American Express card and he went to thank me for picking up the tab as he thought I was paying!!!

I can't wait to be taken home and I fake the whole I got my period blah blah and I had cramps he pulls over to get me something for my cramps to prolong the date

I finally convince this man that I'm on the verge of passing out and he finally took me home!!! OMG!!!!! I will never forget that date as long as I live...date calls several times to say how much of a "connection" we had....Oh brother....
 nerdsauce
Joined: 5/4/2008
Msg: 47
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Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/23/2008 1:40:03 PM

You owed it to the poor guy sitting in front of him. Otherwise the innocent guy would have joined Abraham Lincoln as another person shot in the back of the head in a theater.


Joe OMG! You are a riot! ha-ha!!!! I would have been so horrified!
 Refinedsillyguy
Joined: 5/4/2008
Msg: 48
Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/23/2008 3:31:35 PM
wow #10
Like what kind of girl, wants to introduce her three kids to some stranger she going on a first date with..??
#6 good.
Sounds like she has too many run-ins with the cops.
 positive_g
Joined: 12/28/2007
Msg: 52
Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/23/2008 10:32:37 PM
So here's a recent one for ya... gotta love the ones with brains the size of Mary Kate Olsen's lunch.

Me (phone): "Okay, I'm on the waterfront. Where are you?"
Her: "Almost exactly halfway between the Burnside and Steel bridges."
I walk from one bridge to another and back a few times, takes 30 minutes.
Me: "Uh, you said meet you on the east side of the river, right?"
Her: "Right."
Me: "The side across from the sun?" (It was late afternoon)
Her: "Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course."
I walk the stretch of waterfront again. Nothing. Decide to cross the bridge (another 1/4 mile) to the west side of the river. There she is.
Me: (sweating from all the walking) "Uh, hi, I could have sworn you said the east side."
Her: "I did."
Me (to self, WTF?!): "This is the west side."
Her: "....really?"
Me (to self, you gotta be kidding me -- points to setting sun behind us): "West."
Her: "Ohhhhhhhh..."
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