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Show ALL Forums  > humor  > A few things not to say when pulled over by the cops.      Home login  
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 jackster121
Joined: 9/2/2008
Msg: 5
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A few things not to say when pulled over by the cops.Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Roll down you window and when the cops approaches, say Hamburger and fries. and make it snappy.
 kitkat855
Joined: 7/3/2008
Msg: 11
A few things not to say when pulled over by the cops.
Posted: 9/24/2008 5:25:39 PM
When asked do you know why I pulled you over
1)How many guesses do I get?
2)Its late and you wanted some conversation?
3)You thought I was hot and thought I would give you my number?
4)What is Dunkin Donuts closed already?

True story I got pulled over late one night for going thru a yellow light.I have a clean record so the cop says I have to give you a ticket since I ran your license.So I asked him what was on the menu?Whats the cheapest ticket you have?He looked at the back of a ticket and told me the fines. I said ok so a broken tail lite is 42 bucks.I'll take one of those lol!!
 dannyr0697
Joined: 9/23/2006
Msg: 12
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A few things not to say when pulled over by the cops.
Posted: 9/24/2008 8:30:53 PM
Courtesy of Cheech and Chong:

"I just thought of something funny,,,,,, your Mamma."

When he leaves with your license to check you out:

"Hurry back, I miss you already darling"



L8TR
 cavepete
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 16
A few things not to say when pulled over by the cops.
Posted: 4/24/2009 4:05:26 PM
no mr beers theres no ocifers in here
 GWSmith
Joined: 12/18/2008
Msg: 17
A few things not to say when pulled over by the cops.
Posted: 4/25/2009 4:29:09 AM
A man is late for work and gets pulled over by a police officer. The officer walks up to the car and knocks on the window, "Do you know why I pulled you over sir?"
"Yes officer, I was speeding; but I have good reason."
"Then what is your reason?"
"I'm late for work and if I am too late I'll get fired."
The cop nods his head and says "Well what to you do that is so important?"
The man knows he's lost, and so he sarcastically replies, "An ***hole stretcher."
"An ***hole stretcher?" the policeman seems mesmerized...
"What I do is I work on finger into someone's ***hole real gentle like, and then I work it in and out until I can fit a second finger. Once I have two fingers in I slowly work in a finger from my other hand, and then a fourth, until finally I have both hands firmly up this ass. The slowly but surely I start to stretch it until its... oh about 6 feet wide or so."
The baffled police officer says "What do you do with a 6 foot ***hole?"
"Give it a RADAR gun and have it patrol the freeway!"
 giants84
Joined: 12/10/2008
Msg: 22
A few things not to say when pulled over by the cops.
Posted: 4/26/2009 12:57:15 AM
Got pulled over for tints a few months ago and when the cop asked me why do i have such dark tints, i told him because it looks good. Safe to say i got that ticket.
 wndmanitou
Joined: 12/6/2006
Msg: 23
A few things not to say when pulled over by the cops.
Posted: 5/30/2009 5:05:22 PM
whta ya mean walk that line,hell, hop in and we'll drive down the sucker!!!!
 wndmanitou
Joined: 12/6/2006
Msg: 24
A few things not to say when pulled over by the cops.
Posted: 5/30/2009 5:08:17 PM
i actually said this a while back,"say,i thought you oklah0ma state troopers had to be at least 5' 2" to get in the academy" the dude got hot!!
 itsmillertime6227
Joined: 9/19/2008
Msg: 27
A few things not to say when pulled over by the cops.
Posted: 6/1/2009 12:39:51 AM
Your wife says hi!
So how's your wife and my kids doing?
Is it true all cops have small penises?
I thought cops were supposed to be in good shape...
Hey, didn't I used to kick your a$$ in high school?
What's with you cops and the ugly mustaches? Do you guys like to give each other mustache rides or what?
 mike koerber
Joined: 3/13/2009
Msg: 29
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A few things not to say when pulled over by the cops.
Posted: 6/2/2009 11:52:42 AM
TRUE STORY......
once while being in just such a predickament .....
the ocifer asked me if i did drugs ?
my reply was very casual and polite as we are in canada eh.
WHY YOU GOT A JOINT?
 mike koerber
Joined: 3/13/2009
Msg: 30
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A few things not to say when pulled over by the cops.
Posted: 6/2/2009 11:55:21 AM
hows your wife?

used that one to death. its probably even in the great csis computer in ohio.
along with the warning to the said officer
TRY NOT TO LAUGH IT MAKES HIM THINK HES WINNING.
 mike koerber
Joined: 3/13/2009
Msg: 31
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A few things not to say when pulled over by the cops.
Posted: 6/2/2009 11:56:38 AM
NOICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 MotownSingleGuy
Joined: 12/20/2008
Msg: 34
A few things not to say when pulled over by the cops.
Posted: 6/5/2009 9:57:02 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yqMjMPlXzdA
 SweetSouthernCandy
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 36
A few things not to say when pulled over by the cops.
Posted: 7/21/2009 2:46:30 PM
Spank me
Just kidding
 SweetSouthernCandy
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 37
A few things not to say when pulled over by the cops.
Posted: 7/21/2009 2:47:30 PM
Also
Hold my bong thank you
 Mozard
Joined: 7/31/2007
Msg: 38
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A few things not to say when pulled over by the cops.
Posted: 7/22/2009 9:12:40 PM
Why were you speeding, I clocked you at 157 miles per hour??
Dude, my exwife ran off with an Indiana state trooper and I thought you was him trying to bring that b*tch back.

 FLmusicdude
Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 40
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A few things not to say when pulled over by the cops.
Posted: 7/23/2009 6:57:39 PM
getting pulled over after leaving dunkin donuts with a fresh dozen, "Do you know why I pulled you over?" *point to box* "You could smell it?"
 Mozard
Joined: 7/31/2007
Msg: 41
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A few things not to say when pulled over by the cops.
Posted: 7/23/2009 10:04:18 PM
I got pulled over one time going way over the limit .. something 70 in a 40 or something stupid like that
cop walks up to the window and says "boy, I been waitin for you all day"
I replied "I got here as fast as I could" .. he was aughing so hard he just told me to slow it down and get lost.

Oh and once I was driving down the road and this guy was hitchhiking ... I locked up the brakes and skidded to a stop right near him and hollered for him to get in. As soon as his butt hit the seat I floored it and did a huge burnout. As I shifted into 3rd gear still smoking tires I yelled at him "I hey bro put your seatbelt on, I saw something on a cartoon the other day and I think I can do it"!!! .. he lost it, but I was laughing by then so he settled down and told me I was insane, I agreed.
Show ALL Forums  > humor  > A few things not to say when pulled over by the cops.