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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > Boyfriend went back to his ex - advice      Home login  
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 Wildman46
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 2
Boyfriend went back to his ex - advicePage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Does it really matter to you who your ex hooks up with. You moved out, Now you need to move on. He obviously took you seriously when you moved out, He got on with his life, You should do the same.
 TX_Girlie
Joined: 9/22/2008
Msg: 3
Boyfriend went back to his ex - advice
Posted: 9/25/2008 6:25:26 PM
Honey. I have been there, My husband left me to go back to his ex wife, that cheated on him.. Then he came back, and eventually left again... It is a sickness that we will never understand. It wasn't you. Believe me, I know it hurts, I still feel this pain now.. You will hurt for a long time, it may not ever fully go away, but you will be stronger in the long run.. or at least that is what everyone tells me.. If you need to talk, message me, I think we can share a common insight...
 TroubleAhoy!
Joined: 6/21/2008
Msg: 4
Boyfriend went back to his ex - advice
Posted: 9/25/2008 9:27:58 PM
Yep, weird things do happen. My ex boyfriend went back with his ex wife too, after 9 years... He said she still has half of his money! Sick...
 kathareeene
Joined: 7/26/2007
Msg: 5
Boyfriend went back to his ex - advice
Posted: 9/25/2008 9:32:20 PM
hate to say it but wildman 46 is ABSOLUTELY RITE...half the problem with folks on here is they dont know when to let IT GO...kathi
 Snakewhisperer
Joined: 2/3/2008
Msg: 6
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Boyfriend went back to his ex - advice
Posted: 9/25/2008 9:43:23 PM
I hate it when the guy ends a rocky relationship by cheating. Or he uses the problems in the relationship as an excuse to cheat. It's just tacky. Whether he is acting out his own hurt or seeking some sort of revenge on you, either way he ended the relationship in a very tacky way. Personally, I would not give this guy the time of day again.
 pearlj
Joined: 3/1/2007
Msg: 7
Boyfriend went back to his ex - advice
Posted: 9/25/2008 9:47:46 PM
Wow, with prospects like that who would ever want to date? The pain DOES go away, it doesn't stay forever, and if it does I would imagine you would have to be wallowing and "ripping the wound open" every now and then. If you WANT pain like this to haunt you forever, or if you WANT to keep those ole feelings alive in case he comes back one day, than feel free, a cheating Bf does NOT require you to spend a life time in mourning. Move on hun, I dont know what other "bad" things he did to you, but it sounds like he is incapable of A.) Being alone, and B.) really giving his all to someone, ill bet he's had her on the back burner all these years. Prob just stringing her along, she's his "in between girl" the one he hooks up with "in between" relationships, so he doesn't have to be alone,and or go without sex. Be carefull to not be the "in between girl's" replacement. There are millions of great single hot men out there, and no they wont be "HIM" but it sounds like he wasn't all that great o begin with. Throw yourself into a life improving project (career, living arrangement, geographic location, education etc...) and before you know it you will be totally indifferent to him.
 Lambchop65
Joined: 1/2/2008
Msg: 10
Boyfriend went back to his ex - advice
Posted: 9/27/2008 8:29:16 AM
Wildman....great advice!
 indehills
Joined: 2/23/2008
Msg: 11
Boyfriend went back to his ex - advice
Posted: 9/27/2008 8:42:47 AM
You moved out, Now you need to move on. He obviously took you seriously when you moved out, He got on with his life, You should do the same.

I couldn't agree more. YOU left, you ended the relationship, now it's none of your business what he does or who he's with. When you walked out the door, HE probably felt the last 4 years was a lie, he needed someone, and he went to someone who wanted him right then - unfortunately, that someone who wanted him was not you. So can you blame him? In the future, if you really want to be with someone, DON'T LEAVE THEM.

As far as advice, I'd say start SERIOUSLY looking for someone, stop worrying about what he's doing (or trying to find a way to get back with him), and in the future don't leave someone unless you are 100% sure you are ok with never having them in your life again.


And he left her to be with me.

Karma's a b!tch, isn't it? My mom always said "what goes around, comes around". I guess it came around. Also for future reference, if a guy will leave somebody else to be with you, then he will leave you to be with somebody else.
 Renaissance Man 1950
Joined: 7/13/2008
Msg: 12
Boyfriend went back to his ex - advice
Posted: 9/27/2008 8:43:11 AM
OP,to answer the question in the OT.....advice? ...Yeah, move on. Some things are "deal breakers", and to hang on and "pine" for him would be pathetic.
 DiveDrifter
Joined: 8/31/2008
Msg: 13
Boyfriend went back to his ex - advice
Posted: 9/27/2008 8:44:08 AM
Apparently, as women like to say... "it just wasnt meant to be"

Pack it up, move on...
 ABitMuch
Joined: 7/14/2008
Msg: 14
Boyfriend went back to his ex - advice
Posted: 9/27/2008 2:35:27 PM
Run! He cannot stand himself enough to be alone with himself. Don't fight over him - the fact that she said you took him and he didn't say anything shows he enjoys the drama.

Run!
 Alyosha
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 17
Boyfriend went back to his ex - advice
Posted: 9/28/2008 4:21:01 AM
I wouldn't presume to comment on your b/f's behaviour as I have only your own - no doubt honest - attempt to describe it but if you believe that it really is over, that you don't want him back, couldn't trust him again, and want to move on, what I suggest is, hard as it will be to do, that you wish him and the other woman well, that you try your damndest to imagine him as he was at his best, and her in the best possible light you can imagine, and imagine them happy together!!

That might be the way to a measure of emotional freedom for yourself.
 gb300
Joined: 12/25/2006
Msg: 18
Boyfriend went back to his ex - advice
Posted: 9/28/2008 4:51:29 AM
I think you need to take a cold, hard look at the situation you just described, and ask yourself WHY you are in love, or what you think is love, with a man that treats you this way. Sounds like a painful relationship from the beginning. This man doesnt know what love is, he only knows what pertains to him at that moment. Dont give up on it just because one person used the word 'love' in a hurtful way.

As for the pain and loneliness you are feeling now, it does get better hon. Part of it is just jiltedness, that feeling of loss because he 'chose' someone else over you. You need to fill that void with something else for a while. It does get easier, honest.
 cyndilee42
Joined: 6/23/2008
Msg: 19
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Boyfriend went back to his ex - advice
Posted: 9/28/2008 4:55:30 AM
Damn Girl! Let go. Why would you even want him to call? Don't play the victim. So, get up and dust yourself off and Yell "NEXT!" life is short baby. Your deserve to be treated better.
 Indy8
Joined: 7/27/2007
Msg: 20
Boyfriend went back to his ex - advice
Posted: 9/28/2008 5:01:01 AM
He is doing what I call the 'rotating girlfriend' game. He stays with someone while it feels good, and says wonderful sincere things to her, which he probably believes . For you, it lasted four years and it could mean that he is very good at this game. Are you annoyed? What do you gain from his decisions?

Remember what she said .. "you took this away from me:" , she had this same experience with him, apparently, and now she thinks (hopes) that everything is OK now. I suspect you can do better for y'self
 ABitMuch
Joined: 7/14/2008
Msg: 22
Boyfriend went back to his ex - advice
Posted: 9/29/2008 11:40:06 AM
DO NOT CALL!! How can you trust anything this man has to say? You're only 34 ... you have plenty of time to brush yourself off and get back on the horse ... when you are ready. As for him - stick a fork in it - he's done!
 SueisWho
Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 23
Boyfriend went back to his ex - advice
Posted: 9/29/2008 2:17:18 PM
I don't understand why there are so many people going back to their "exs"???????? This never ceases to amaze me.....

I am sorry for your hurt, OP....

I hope one day that you find someone who treats you well and has staying power. :)
 YingKissesYang
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 24
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Boyfriend went back to his ex - advice
Posted: 9/29/2008 2:49:16 PM
""""I moved out after he did some bad things"""

Doesnt that answer any and all questions right there? Who on Earth wants to be with someone "who does bad things?" Please stay single.
 Tarika
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 25
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Boyfriend went back to his ex - advice
Posted: 9/29/2008 8:45:13 PM
You obviously moved out for a significant reason. Now, all you need to do is move on...regardless of who he went back to or who he is dating. They key is to move on and don't torture yourself!
 KayCee1124
Joined: 5/2/2008
Msg: 26
Boyfriend went back to his ex - advice
Posted: 9/29/2008 8:54:11 PM
Best advice I ever got was,
You never get ahead if you walk backwords....

not just no, but HELL no would I ever go back to an ex, and honey, if your guy did, then he wasn;t the guy for you......
 VICKI W
Joined: 9/2/2008
Msg: 27
Boyfriend went back to his ex - advice
Posted: 9/29/2008 9:01:00 PM
Let him go move on stay strong,
Love your self ,never allow any one to use you,
People knows what they can do to you,
You can allow to love you or mistreat,
FIND friends to love you,
This is true love,
You will know by the way they treat you,
Be your self,
 vrb1955
Joined: 3/26/2006
Msg: 28
Boyfriend went back to his ex - advice
Posted: 9/29/2008 9:25:41 PM
Love what's love got to do with it ??

No where in the OP did I see the words


Like , Respect , and Loyalty

Because no one had it for anyone

When it comes to a long term friendship, relationship, or marriage

If you don't have that combo . You have NOTHING and you are WASTING your time and energy.

While you still have an ounce of dignity move forward and never look back. Make this a lesson learned. Next time choose some one who values you as much as you should yourself
 Prettygrls
Joined: 9/7/2008
Msg: 30
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Boyfriend went back to his ex - advice
Posted: 10/2/2008 5:35:34 AM
Why are you concerned about what he should have done? The only behaviour you control is yours.

Do the right thing .....walk away!! Respect yourself. Why settle for second best when number one may just be around the corner. Don't be a desparate women.
 dan912304
Joined: 9/17/2008
Msg: 31
Boyfriend went back to his ex - advice
Posted: 10/2/2008 7:18:51 AM
You moved out and that caused breathing room for his ex to come back. Now that he has choosen his path continue on yours and find that special guy and when things don't work out between him and his ex close the door and don't let him back in your life. Or waste another 4 years of your life. Once your in love again it'll be easy to forget him as long as your with Mr Right
 Unique FingerPrint
Joined: 9/7/2008
Msg: 32
Boyfriend went back to his ex - advice
Posted: 10/2/2008 7:37:41 AM
He left. What are you going to do. Everyone has their own agenda. He has history with her. NO one is perfect and you moved out. Done..........move on.
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