Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > rejected by your own race/culture      Home login  
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 2
rejected by your own race/culturePage 1 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
I think people are attracted to who they are attracted to...I don't think it has to do with race...

People of a certain race aren't required to be into ONLY those of the same race.
I don't think that's a new thing at all. Black people have liked/dated outside their race for years, and vice versa...

I am sure some white men have wondered why certain white women date black men, they just have an attraction to that culture or the features. Who cares?
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 3
rejected by your own race/culture
Posted: 9/26/2008 10:56:22 AM
Have they told you this or you just assuming? Maybe they just don't like you, who happens to be black? I'm multiracial which includes black. I've dated the rainbow basically. I've had some black guys come up to me and when I turn them down they say to me "I guess you don't like black guys". First I tell them I am black and then I tell them "No, I just don't like you". Don't assume anything before you find out the actual reasons.
Joined: 8/14/2008
Msg: 7
rejected by your own race/culture
Posted: 9/26/2008 11:26:29 AM
People like what the like. I've met women that are attracted to people taller, bigger, lighter, wealthier and a number of other things. It doesn't bother me because I'm attracted to what I'm attracted too. It's life no big deal don't let it bother you keep it moving.
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 8
rejected by your own race/culture
Posted: 9/26/2008 11:29:30 AM
Some women are generally attracted to men from a different race. I have been on those sides of this. I've dated white woman who generally date black men. I have also been rejected by black women because they usually date white men.
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 9
rejected by your own race/culture
Posted: 9/26/2008 12:23:43 PM
A good friend of mine is from Senegal. The problem he has is that he does not understand African American culture, he doesn't get the music, the lingo and all his friends are well, white. He speaks English, French, Arabic, and two other African dialects. He dates a white girl that is incredibly sweet. Does it bother him? I don't think so. The thing is that to me I don't see his color but the fact that he is a good friend and fiercely competitive on the bike.
Joined: 9/10/2008
Msg: 10
view profile
rejected by your own race/culture
Posted: 9/26/2008 1:22:09 PM
When I smoked, women always told me they didn't date smokers (but I bet they wouldn't turn down Paul Newman in his heyday). I also constantly hear that I am too short for them (would they turn down Tom Cruise) 5'5" I'm sure it is true for some but c'mon do ALL the women that are 5' tall date men 6' tall or is that a convenient excuse? Race, like height, is something that you can't change. I feel for you, but all I can suggest is to roll with it and keep trying.
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 11
rejected by your own race/culture
Posted: 9/26/2008 3:49:24 PM
As a black girl I date all colors of the rainbow!
attraction is as attraction does...
and so not restricted to one race or culture,for me that is.....

I hear your frustration......
and it's unpleasant...guess the femmes of color are being honest
....even if also ...well.....shallow?
keep on looking ...
and karma is a *-&-@-%-$-%-
 Closing Shop
Joined: 7/24/2008
Msg: 12
rejected by your own race/culture
Posted: 9/26/2008 4:09:23 PM
It's impossible to tell from your writing but in person do you project an image that's stereotypically associated with black people that some *might* consider negative? It may be a particular behavior these women don't like (such as the gangsta attitude) and if 80% of the black men they run into are exhibiting that behavior, perhaps they've decided they'll have better odds with a different race. If it's a physical attraction issue, then there's not much you can do but if it's a behavioral issue, it's completely in your hands to show these ladies you're better than the rest. I'm inclined to believe that a smart, classy guy like Obama wouldn't have a problem meeting women of any race regardless of his stature.
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 18
rejected by your own race/culture
Posted: 9/26/2008 10:50:28 PM

Over the last year or two i've found myself being attracted to black women that are NOT attracted to black men(no it's not a "want what you can have"type of thing), because i find out that their not interested in black guys way after i've let them know i'm interested in them, it's annoying and weird, i feel like i'm in the "twighlight zone"...lolol,..has anything similar happened to you?

I haven't been rejected by my own race people.... but if I was rejected, I would be very interested in knowing which race he would have interests... lol
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 19
rejected by your own race/culture
Posted: 9/26/2008 10:53:40 PM

But the women tell me"i'm not dating black guys right now" or something along those linesone woman that i was talking with for a while showed me a camera phone picture of a white guy and said"this is my ex and my other exes look similar ,you might be barking up the wrong tree" and i'm thinking "this is the 6 time this happened in a 2 month period", is it just an excuse so i won't "bother "them? or are they telling the truth?..has this happened to anyone else?...maybe i should start dating outside my race?....lolol

Hey, don't take girls' words that seriously. Generally some girls say that just want to make a reason to reject you or get you feel shocked .. .... or sometimes they say that by mood. I also have my "eye color period" --- this month my color is blue, then I search for blue eyes guy; next month move to brown, then next month to green or grey.... just for fun, not a big deal
Joined: 8/19/2007
Msg: 21
rejected by your own race/culture
Posted: 9/27/2008 4:20:56 AM
I've worked with two friends that have said something along these lines, the first was a very attracive african-american lady that said she was only going to date white guys from now on because "they treat their women better".
The second was also black, a good friend that wouldn't date black women because of their attitudes.
It did bring up interesting conversation as they seemed to be stereotyping their own race....
Joined: 6/20/2008
Msg: 22
rejected by your own race/culture
Posted: 9/27/2008 6:00:31 AM
I've met a few black woman that only date white guys. I was laughing hard when a black guy almost got in an accident rubbernecking when I was on a date with one. I also dated a white woman that had a black boyfriend that cheated on her and she said I was way better.

If a woman says she only dates white guys she is probably telling the truth. Why would she lie? She could just say she has a bf or is not interested. So when I meet women who only dates white guys I show them why they should be italian white guys.
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 24
rejected by your own race/culture
Posted: 9/29/2008 11:49:10 PM
Actually I were rejected all the time by my own race ... and I've known that clearly long time ago.

Because from the standard of those men, I am definitely not that kind of women they want --- She's too independent, too fit (most of them don't do that much exercises), too simple and straight forward, she have too many friends and activities ... blabla ...

In one dating website, which does the matches automatically for me and shows the ethnics, people who are in my race generally close the match before the communication, and the reason generally is "other" or "base on the profile, I am not interested in this match" Just now I logged in and saw a lot new matches.... some people send me communication messages and some closed the match --- all of those who closed the match, are Chinese, Japanese and Korean

So I don't even need to say NO to them lol And what do they want?.... OK, I'd better shut up lol
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 25
rejected by your own race/culture
Posted: 9/29/2008 11:51:18 PM
SO GUYS UPSTAIRS, who were rejected by girls who don't date with their own races, should not feel that bad or miserable for it.... Think of that, at least 1/4 population of this planet, rejected to date with me
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 28
rejected by your own race/culture
Posted: 9/30/2008 11:00:54 AM

Get over it you will be rejected for
being too short/too tall
too fat/too skinny
too smart/too slow
too ugly/too pretty
too busy/too boring
take your pick
if someone doesnt want to date you they will find a reason not too.
welcome to the world of dating.

This is the truth. Let's make a worst assumption: what if no one wanted to date you? No problem. There is nothing wrong. Nothing bad will happen. You still have your own life, you still can live happily and you still can have a lot choices.
Joined: 6/20/2008
Msg: 29
rejected by your own race/culture
Posted: 9/30/2008 10:15:18 PM
This thread is getting irritating. First off people should have the right to date what race they want without a hard time about it. Isnt it stitistically true for every guy that more women from their own race reject them the most becuase they have asked them out the most. I could be wrong about that. When I see a white girl with a black guy I dont assume she should date me first because she and I are both white. I feel if that's what she wants there's more women out there besides her.

And some people put on their profile what they want or dont want because guys can be very persistant once they get a girl to start talking to them. Best to say what you want then you dont have someone telling you your racist because you wont date them.

How many people are rejected by their own race for a member of that same race? Nobody says anything then so why is a different race even an issue unless the person upset about it is racist?

I have a theory about it. In the 80s where I live when you seen interacial dating it was usually a black guy and white girl. There was black girls that dated white guys but it was rare. In dating the white girls the black guys left the black women wide open. And then the women realized what they were missing.

If any race prefers their own what is wrong with that? Thats for any color.
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 31
rejected by your own race/culture
Posted: 9/30/2008 10:42:41 PM

It would probably never happen to me considering the fact that I've never found Asian guys attractive, and thus, wouldn't pursue one. Not to say that things couldn't change though. :)

*awaits possible crucifixion and "Asian girls only like white guys," responses*

hahaha cool.... I can't wait to see that lol.... Let's see how they react here....
Joined: 6/20/2008
Msg: 32
rejected by your own race/culture
Posted: 10/1/2008 12:58:42 AM
Puma when you see pictures of bruce lee you dont find him attractive? Hey if race isnt an issue with you age shouldnt be either. Perhaps you would date a guy a little bit older than you and come to erie and visit him on a weekend soon.

I edited this after reading about the culture differences. I've noticed a few. Like I told someone else on here. On a date I tell them to bring cds of music they like in case they dont like mine. People shouldnt give up their identity for the other but both should learn to negotiate the differences until both are happy and neither feels cheated out on any issue. A lot of understanding on both sides and work on what you have in common. Girls of all colors like back messages and for me to whisper sweet nothings in their ear.
Joined: 9/24/2008
Msg: 33
rejected by your own race/culture
Posted: 10/1/2008 1:35:39 AM
I feel really sorry for those women, or people in general who decide to object to dating somebody on thier race alone. I am 18 years old, and had a wonderful relationship of 2 years with a man of Salvadorean descent. I loved him and vice versa, but not because of our race. The fact he was Salvadorean or I was white never seemed to matter. I realize I would never have been so fortunate to experience this great relationship if I had been so narrowminded to look at something as pointless as his race. Instead we chose to focus on things we found important; sex, chemistry, hobbies, etc. I really think it is sad when people miss out on possible great opportunities because somebody is different. Notice I did not say a different race, I just said different. We are all different, I would never choose to not date somebody who wore glasses, or had darker hair than I did. Why on earth would somebody focus on race? Living proof in 2008, ignorance still exists.
Joined: 9/24/2008
Msg: 34
rejected by your own race/culture
Posted: 10/1/2008 3:46:47 AM
There is a difference between not finding somebody attractive because of their weight or height, and then not finding somebody attractive because of thier race. It is a cse of feeling sorry for somebody. People who limit themselves to only date members of certain races, could really be missing out. It just goes to show that they are focused on pointless aspects such as colour. Some people choose to focus on more important things such as chemistry. If I like a man, I like a man.
Joined: 9/24/2008
Msg: 35
rejected by your own race/culture
Posted: 10/1/2008 3:51:00 AM
Either way, you still choose to focus on the fact that they are black. Furthermore, you were right, "some" white men would not understand Sunday music, and some would. "Some" black men do not enjoy basketball, yet some do,lol.
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 37
rejected by your own race/culture
Posted: 10/1/2008 8:12:03 AM

use Kenny Chesney for your example

No offense, but I don't think you are Kenny's type. He tends to like those with similar equipment if you get my drift.
Joined: 9/24/2008
Msg: 38
rejected by your own race/culture
Posted: 10/1/2008 8:27:32 AM
I never said my first reaction is not based on the way that people look. The difference is, I see fine white men, and fine black men...and ugly men of both races. To me I do not rule all of one race unattractive. I never have been attracted to women in my life, I am not a homophobe though. The difference is, I feel people are born gay. People are not born prejudiced, they either are or they are not.
Joined: 4/29/2005
Msg: 40
rejected by your own race/culture
Posted: 10/1/2008 11:55:50 AM
You are not rejected by your own race/culture as you put it. You were rejected by some misguided, brainwashed, psychologically damaged people who have chosen to allow ignorance to rule their relationships. Consider yourself fortunate that you didnt get involved with 1.
The women you've approached are as ridiculous as American women saying they dont date American men, British women rejecting all British men out of hat, Canadian women refusing to date ANY Canadian citizen. Its just ridiculous! Foolish and ignorant. It is NOT comparable to dating someone based upon a physical preference such as height, weight, teeth, breast/chest size, penis/butt size,lips or ANY tangible finate characteristic because "race" has no FINATE physical characteristics. Just as nationality has no bearing on phyisical characteristics. Can't be about culture either.
Everyone with any kind of education knows that race is a biased 17th century, eurocentric, social construct in many ways as the Indian caste except race is based upon biased 17th century psuedo science. Genetists have shown it to be illogical. It exisits and will continue to exisit in the mind of those who allow it to do so(thus brainwashed). Those who ascribe to it are racists albeit benign those who attribute anything negative to any group that is labeled by it are more malignant racists. The women you've approached are racists and likely malignantly so.
Consider yourself lucky.Imagine being in a relationship with someone that irrational and ignorant.
Joined: 9/24/2008
Msg: 42
rejected by your own race/culture
Posted: 10/1/2008 7:04:08 PM
I disagree, in the matters of race...I do not see how people act, I see the colour of their skin. I do not judge them by the colour of thier skin, but it is still visible, it just does not affect me. I do not expect every black man to be a great dance, or every asian man to be soft spoken. One thing a culture does not do is define a unified personal characteristic for all members of that culture.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > rejected by your own race/culture