Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > Purity Balls      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 OneMoreTimeWithFeeling
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 6
Purity BallsPage 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
This is just about as creepy to me as the father that gives his daughter a bikini wax before she goes to work and then drives her to the Bunny Ranch.

http://jezebel.com/384994/father-gives-daughter-bikini-waxes-rides-to-work-at-a-brothel
 EpisodeIV
Joined: 6/28/2006
Msg: 12
view profile
History
Purity Balls
Posted: 9/28/2008 6:22:27 PM
Has the abstinence only mentality, including "purity balls", helped our culture?

No, I don't believe so. From some of my readings over the past several years...

Most abstinence only type transfer of knowledge does not teach the young, vulnerable people what they need to know physically and psychologically about themselves, their bodies and the opposite gender. Same gender relationships are likely not considered or simply forbidden. Masturbation is generally discouraged or forbidden.

Some who take an abstinence pledge, use the "ring method", etc. do delay the time of their first full experience with sex. But then so to comparable numbers of those in a sex education class that teach the physical and psychological ins and outs (no pun intended) including contraception and abstinence.

The big difference is in the stds and unwanted pregnancies. Abstinence only type methods young people catch and pass more STDs around and also create more unwanted pregnancies because they were not taught the whole knowledge available which includes contraceptive and protective devices.

Approximately the same numbers of young people in both groups do not wait to have sex before marriage. So abstinence only teachings are no better at "preventing" sex before marriage. As abstinence only taught young people were also not taught about protection and contraception, they are set up not only to be more vulnerable to diseases and unwanted pregnancies but also to lose trust in the older adults and create confusion because important information was withheld. And that spills over into other areas of their lives.

The U.S. culture, with the highest unwanted teen pregnancy rate of the industrialzed western nations, is not helped by the abstinence only purity ball mentality. We should pull our heads out of our... uh, sand, take lessons from our neighbors and start catching up with the 21st century world.
 D Laurier
Joined: 2/11/2007
Msg: 18
view profile
History
Purity Balls
Posted: 9/28/2008 6:48:09 PM
Its not so much a virginity cult, as an incest cult.
Its about fathers who want to marry their daughters, (or at least have sex with them) Taking control of their daughters sexuality as a substitute for actual sex.
These people are scary.
 Ron9
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 20
Purity Balls
Posted: 9/28/2008 7:10:40 PM
I thought this was about Pretty Balls .....

I clicked on it fast cuz ..... I was going to brag and stuff.
 Xcen
Joined: 4/7/2005
Msg: 23
view profile
History
Purity Balls
Posted: 9/28/2008 7:27:41 PM
Well SnapHappy,
Will no Christians rise to defend a purity oath??? First it is my observation that the forums are heavily weighted with non-religious types and a healthy number of anti-religion types. I doubt you will see any defense from them. I am a christian but I am not familiar with the topic nor the oaths although Indigo Rose posted one such oath. If that oath is typical then christians familiar with various consecration services (I have been present at concencration services of adults, children, even babies, families etc) would understand that oath is rather typical. A believer believes in God and as such is supposed to follow God's rules. The Old Testament Rules are summarized in the 10 Commandments. Therefore the comment that the father pledges purity in his life (will not commit adultery) as well as follow the other commandments. Christians are taught in the New Testament that Christ is the head of the church (The High Priest) and the man is the high priest of his family, therefore the statement of being high priest in the fathers home. The scriptures also teach that the sins of the (unbelieving) fathers will be passed on to future generations,,,,,likewise will the blessings be passed on. Therefore there is nothing "creepy' about such a pledge. It is couched in terms derived from the Bible. The "chastity belts" I am certain are ceremonial only, something physical to remind the parties of their pledge. Similar to contest winners that are given blue ribbons as a rememberance.
 Xcen
Joined: 4/7/2005
Msg: 24
view profile
History
Purity Balls
Posted: 9/28/2008 7:32:11 PM
Well SnapHappy,
Will no Christians rise to defend a purity oath??? First it is my observation that the forums are heavily weighted with non-religious types and a healthy number of anti-religion types. I doubt you will see any defense from them. I am a christian but I am not familiar with the topic nor the oaths although Indigo Rose posted one such oath. If that oath is typical then christians familiar with various consecration services (I have been present at concencration services of adults, children, even babies, families etc) would understand that oath is rather typical. A believer believes in God and as such is supposed to follow God's rules. The Old Testament Rules are summarized in the 10 Commandments. Therefore the comment that the father pledges purity in his life (will not commit adultery) as well as follow the other commandments. Christians are taught in the New Testament that Christ is the head of the church (The High Priest) and the man is the high priest of his family, therefore the statement of being high priest in the fathers home. The scriptures also teach that the sins of the (unbelieving) fathers will be passed on to future generations,,,,,likewise will the blessings be passed on. Therefore there is nothing "creepy' about such a pledge. It is couched in terms derived from the Bible. The "chastity belts" I am certain are ceremonial only, something physical to remind the parties of their pledge. Similar to contest winners that are given blue ribbons as a rememberance.
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 33
view profile
History
Purity Balls
Posted: 9/28/2008 8:53:32 PM

"But you notice they don't have Purity Balls for the male children??? What the fudge is up with that??? "


Yyyyep! You got 'em! It's the whole authoritarian hypocrisy personality trait. He will be the first to demand the purity of his daughter, but would condone going to strip joints for him and his buddies for some good ol fashion fun. He'll even encourage his son to learn "a thing or two" by going out and getting laid. wink, wink.

A gigantic part of Christian mythology includes the worship of the male figure. Thus, God created Adam and Eve just came from his rib... Wives submit to their husbands... women can be priests or ministers... Men have supremacy over all.
That's the idea. And this is taught at an early age, too.
I grew up Catholic and I know first hand the glass ceiling that exists for women in church hierarchy.

Those purity balls work about just as well as abstinence works.
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 34
view profile
History
Purity Balls
Posted: 9/28/2008 9:04:28 PM
It's just something someone does hopefully to ensure good behaviour.
I mean, there is no doubt in my mind these people believe quite honestly they are doing the right thing. I think they do have good intentions.
But good intentions can go awry... KNowledge is power!
Like another poster said... Those who believe in the virginity thing just sets them up to be succered a guy who comes in and says anal and oral sex will keep them "pure". It's quite hilarious, but tragic at the same time...
 OneMoreTimeWithFeeling
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 40
Purity Balls
Posted: 9/28/2008 9:28:15 PM
What the eff??? How did abortion get involved in this? If someone is practicing their "purity" then abortion shouldn't even come into the picture...unless your last name is Palin and your first name is Bristol. That worked out fabulous. I can see Russian.

Sorry back to topic.
 JWork25
Joined: 7/16/2008
Msg: 41
Purity Balls
Posted: 9/28/2008 9:49:46 PM
People should wait until marriage for sex. Unfortunately, most of us (Including me) are morally inept concerning many issues. We're selfish sinners, truthfully.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 42
view profile
History
Purity Balls
Posted: 9/28/2008 9:56:38 PM
See what you started? Now how did those who aren't virgins but unmarried get past the stoning? Aren't they suppose to be stoned according to rules? If non-married, non-virgins were properly stoned then we wouldn't need this incestuous ritual done by pedophile fathers and doormat mothers allowing it. You opened this big can of worms and now we have to be lectured about the insanity called supernatural beings from outer space! Me, I prefer Killing Clowns From Outer Space, best awful movie ever, where else can you be killed by being wrapped in cotton candy? I think we should sick the killer clowns on these abusive parents.

From a psychology point of view, or is that psychotic?, all you are doing is damaging innocent children and creating fetishes, maybe even a few serial killers too boot. Interesting twist on stopping abortion, instead murder the child's psyche. Only in religion could you find something that sick.
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 46
view profile
History
Purity Balls
Posted: 9/29/2008 12:11:51 AM
Whoa... this forum sure got busy! :)
The people who do this kind of thing aren't weird... they're just trying to make a solution to a problem they see exists. The sad thing is, it's a band-aid to a large wound that needs a real doctor.
Well, I only jumped in to put my two cents only because it's the dogma of the faiths that sometimes lead followers astray. Like I mentioned, most religions are male-centric. They make fewer demands of "purity" on male members which is why you don't have purity balls for guys.
In one aspect, I suppose it could be argued it is up to the girl to decide to give it away. But having no education about other forms of sex can be disastrous as was pointed out earlier. The onus is always on the woman in most religions.
Thus, you have religions that allow polygamy and the like... all things advantageous to the males. The rules are also designed to keep men in positions of power in most churches.

But let's not pretend this doesn't exist in religion: there is a gigantic mound of hypocrisy going on behind those closed holy doors.
Granted, people do fail and make mistakes, I find that all things considered, people do crimes in just as large numbers whether they are believers or not. I've heard in areas where abstinence only is taught, the out of wedlock pregnancies and teenage sex are exploding.

"Authoritarian personality trait"... those who don't know, look it up. That's what ails society and is rife with most religions today.

Well, Snaphappyblast... I guess the other topics you opened can be better left to other discussion forums, but on here, we can agree that these "balls" are just a band-aid -- a "feel good" patch that cures very little unless the underlying societal problems are addressed.
Peace,
 bcsofnc57
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 49
Purity Balls
Posted: 9/29/2008 7:34:27 AM

But you notice they don't have Purity Balls for the male children??? What the fudge is up with that???

If all straight females waited until marriage to have sex, then all straight males would also have to wait until marriage to have sex. Maybe it is saying that females have more will power when it comes to sex.

I would think the father is "in there" more as it is a male that the daughter will end up with, and that the thinking is, if the father is a good example of what a male should be, the daughter will be better able to pick a good husband. Of course mom is important to the daughters life, but she can't be a good example of what a husband should be like.

Not saying I agree or disagree, just trying to see where they may be coming from.
 d0rene
Joined: 6/7/2008
Msg: 52
view profile
History
Purity Balls
Posted: 9/29/2008 7:05:24 PM

If all straight females waited until marriage to have sex, then all straight males would also have to wait until marriage to have sex. Maybe it is saying that females have more will power when it comes to sex.


Hhmmm, that's like saying that a woman over the age of 40 has a greater chance of being struck by lightening than getting married. Could also be that the divorcees and the widows are going to be setting up house. Seems like they want you to get married first. Then after the divorce you can go wild!!! At least, that's what always seems to happen.
 phishkev
Joined: 9/19/2008
Msg: 59
view profile
History
Purity Balls
Posted: 10/2/2008 12:59:29 PM
Bravo, Frau Bl├╝cher
Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > Purity Balls