Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 HarDayKnight
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 4
Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?Page 1 of 56    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)
While I can be sympathetic to your situation, it really sucks (pardon the pun), I don't think I could enjoy every meal I ever have, for the rest of my life, to be devoid of my favorite food. Same thing for oral sex. Having said that, there are some men who actually do not like oral, or can take it or leave it. Your chances of finding such a fellow may not be as slim as you would think.
 gatorsz
Joined: 3/4/2008
Msg: 5
Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 9/29/2008 7:19:22 PM
Everything being equal and relationship's great... wouldn't faze me a bit. It's just one small aspect. Its not the be all / end all some guys makes it out to be.

You'll find what you're looking for.
 gatorsz
Joined: 3/4/2008
Msg: 7
Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 9/29/2008 7:25:35 PM
^^^^^^

Perfect answer, Canadian Beef.

 Jeep1224
Joined: 3/14/2008
Msg: 8
Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 9/29/2008 7:26:22 PM
It's perfectly OK if you substitute it with anal.

IMHO
 TainQ2
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 9
Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 9/29/2008 7:32:52 PM
Does that mean that there is no oral sex at all? Going down on you?
 stretch06
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 10
Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 9/29/2008 7:34:02 PM
I would probably suck it up and try not to worry bout it if I really liked you.

I wouldnt prefer it by any means, but dont think it'd be a deal breaker.

You'll prob be ok with being that way....just might have to get a guy used to no bj it if hes used to them.
 manuel_content
Joined: 5/2/2008
Msg: 12
Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 9/29/2008 7:40:41 PM
OP, I'm sure some men can't, but many will be willing to give them up if they think you are THE ONE. It's quite possible (just guessing here) that the more mature men will have less of a fixation with BJs.
 Jeep1224
Joined: 3/14/2008
Msg: 13
Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 9/29/2008 7:42:38 PM
If I'm not mistaken I'm pretty sure the right to BJ's is in the constitution.

I think it's after a right to a speedy trial

I tell ya...our forefathers knew what they were doing
 HarDayKnight
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 16
Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 9/29/2008 7:55:49 PM
It's quite possible (just guessing here) that the more mature men will have less of a fixation with BJs.


You know, it's easy to have a negative comment for someone that doesn't see things the same way you do. For instance, someone could make the argument that only a really desperate man would be willing to forgo BJs, if he could find a woman that would accept his shortcomings as well. This, however, would be no more true (in most instances) than your moronic comment.


OP... If a man loves you already, he would be more likely to accept a life of no oral. If it's important to him, and you withhold that info until he's hooked or feels he would appear shallow for running out, then there is likely to be some resentment eventually. Be up front about it, and you may find a guy who doesn't care. Then you can both be happy with the situation.
 PlainWhiteTee
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 21
Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 9/29/2008 8:04:51 PM
It really doesn't matter, If a guy is the right one and he knows the reason I don't think it would be a deal blower.
 phoenixxx2008
Joined: 9/7/2008
Msg: 25
Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 9/29/2008 8:14:34 PM
Wow - I am stunned by the number of men who said it wouldn't matter - hats off to you guys! Now as a healthy sexual being I am all for mutual fun of whatever kind two consenting adults are into. That being said I don't think you should spend one second worrying about how the next guy is going to feel. Based on your OP I would say you have been through enough in life - find a man who cares about YOU and that one sexual aspect will not matter, there are ways for two people to work around it and if he is the right guy you'll not have anything to worry about.
 strange-love
Joined: 8/4/2008
Msg: 29
Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 9/29/2008 8:23:08 PM
I only find them enjoyable if the partner actually enjoys doing it. In general i would rather give than get.
 ervica
Joined: 9/12/2008
Msg: 31
Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 9/29/2008 8:38:51 PM
It would seem that you have some unresolved issues that need to be worked through . . . First . . you will NEVER be able to not be victimized by this until you forgive the abuser . . . Forgive the abuser and you will be able to get on with your life . . . sound extream, but it will change your life . . After all these years . . This person [b[STILL is in control of your life . . . After you have forgiven the person (ideally in person) you can move on to a healthy NEW relationship . . with TONS of communication . . . Be honest . . you can . . and will be able to please any new partner . . .
Besides . . it will only be until you get Married . . . then as we all know . . you will NEVER have to do that again . . . or so it seems . . .
 bootymaster
Joined: 8/8/2007
Msg: 33
Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 9/29/2008 9:24:07 PM
ah ha hahahaha!

it sux to be men sometime :/
 MarkInCNJ
Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 35
Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 9/29/2008 9:29:43 PM
A BJ wouldn't be a deal breaker for me.
 SilentBob8035
Joined: 11/4/2005
Msg: 38
view profile
History
Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 9/29/2008 10:05:14 PM
As has been stated a few times, you'll be hard-pressed to get a generalized answer for all men. But, here's my personal take -- I'm more indifferent to them. I see it more as a foreplay tool, and not a means to get off. Personally, I can't seem to get off from it (well, there was one time...). It also seems to me that women falsely advertise in this arena. They say that they give mind-blowing head, and come to find out that it's....well...Meh...*shrug*

I could go without it if need be, esp. if it's the right girl....but I do admit, that it is kind of nice every once in a while.

Now, going down on a girl...I could do that for hours (as long as she's in good health down there, of course...)
 Ron9
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 40
Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 9/29/2008 10:32:05 PM
OP - you are you and if something about you - bothers others ........ that is their problem - not your problem.

With that being said - perhaps sometime in the future - you and a very special man in your life .........

May find (thru exploring each others specialness) may make some discoveries that you never even dreamed about.

The two need to be very very special - very committed - very real to each other - very honest with each other ......... but sex with the right person is very very different. You almost become one. Sometimes making someone feel so very special to you - is very nice indeed.

You are special ... someday you will be very special to some young man. Try to reserve your thinking until someone is special to you.
 CompletelyDone
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 41
Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 9/29/2008 10:34:48 PM

You are special ... someday you will be very special to some young man. Try to reserve your thinking until someone is special to you.


What an awesome response Ron9... Well and beautifully said!
 2nd_Chakra
Joined: 11/21/2007
Msg: 42
view profile
History
Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 9/29/2008 10:43:29 PM
I think that it's a proven psychological fact that forgiving your accuser is the ONLY
thing one can do to successfully overcome the event! BUT, it's precisely counter to
how we have been falsely programmed by society and often religion!




If you can provide cites and footnotes from credible sources, I will concede. My technique is called "Detachment" and it comes mostly from Buddhism, Hindu, and Shamanistic practices, not to mention in AA it is known as "acceptance." Give me your best shot.


Overcome. Detach. Sounds like you two are really talking about the same thing. If you can't forgive, that implies that there is still an attachment to that moment of trauma, an attachment that prevents one from living a healed and whole life. Forgiveness isn't so much about atonement, but rather letting go of the need to make a past circumstance or person responsible for the outcome of your life in the present moment. Credible sources? Common sense and spiritual awareness.

OP, given what your boundaries are at the moment (and they'll likely change throughout your lifetime), I'm glad for you that there are plenty of men out here who would be sexually compatible with you. I wish you the best.
 Octobersixty3
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 44
Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 9/29/2008 10:58:53 PM
With all due respect, the real issue here is if you will not participate in this act because of an abuse situation earlier in life, you probably should be seeing a counselor. It sounds like there are some residual issues due to the abuse...
To answer your question I do not think I could be in a long term relationship with NO chance that I'll ever have the pleasure of receiving oral sex from my partner...Some guys probably won't have an issue with it though- Just have to find the "right" guy for you. Best of luck !!
Shouldn't this subject be in the sexuality forum?
 2nd_Chakra
Joined: 11/21/2007
Msg: 47
view profile
History
Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 9/29/2008 11:06:36 PM

If you think so. My definition of forgiving is in the dictionary. I will detach from your answer and let you argue with Merriam-Webster. I will not forgive you for saying that I cannot let go or detach from the responsibility of others incapable of understanding commonly used words. I take no responsibility for others inability to use common words outside of their dictionary definitions. I detach. I do not forgive without a request for forgiveness and a pledge to attempt to repent.


Book learning's important. So's emotional intelligence. If cleverly worded veiled insults is all you have to offer, then no thanks.
 2nd_Chakra
Joined: 11/21/2007
Msg: 50
view profile
History
Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 9/29/2008 11:08:39 PM

With all due respect, the real issue here is if you will not participate in this act because of an abuse situation earlier in life, you probably should be seeing a counselor. It sounds like there are some residual issues due to the abuse...
To answer your question I do not think I could be in a long term relationship with NO chance that I'll ever have the pleasure of receiving oral sex from my partner...Some guys probably won't have an issue with it though- Just have to find the "right" guy for you. Best of luck !!
Shouldn't this subject be in the sexuality forum?


I was thinking the same thing.
 hummee
Joined: 5/20/2005
Msg: 53
view profile
History
Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 9/29/2008 11:34:42 PM
I wouldn't put up with that -- but Good luck!
 Soul Union
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 55
Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 9/29/2008 11:39:19 PM
Due to abuse as a child i don't give men oral sex and i was wondering how much it would bother the men out there if they weren't given blowjobs in an otherwise good relationship. My last partner didn't like them for various reasons which worked out well for me but i'm starting to worry what reaction my next partner might have.
I'm interested in any males opinion here, thanks. - jen bean


You tell us that you are starting to worry about the reaction of your next partner?

I do not give oral sex a second thought. I do not use the expression you use, but I can assure you that I would not concern myself about what a future partner in my life might think about oral sex.

I am looking for a heart connection, a deep and meaningful soul-to-soul relationship. B--- jobs, as you call them, are not a priority. The mind, the spirit - these are priorities for me, not her genitals.

- Peter
 Octobersixty3
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 59
Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 9/29/2008 11:57:24 PM
Due to abuse as a child i don't give men oral sex and i was wondering how much it would bother the men out there if they weren't given blowjobs in an otherwise good relationship

Just so it's clear..Does this mean that you've never VOLUNTARILY given a bj?
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?