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 bewitchingall1
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 1
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IM EtiquettePage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
If your going to IM someone than be prepared. Don't it annoy you if someone IM's you an says "hi" n "how are you" then they say nothing further?
IM etiquette #1 It takes two to talk and if you initiate the conversation I expect you to go beyond pleasantries. I will do my part to respond with something to carry the conversation further.
IM etiquette #2 If you IM a person don't engage in more than one IM if you can't keep up. There is nothing worse then sitting an waiting for a response because the person that IM'd you has more than one conversation going or doing other things that keeps them from responding in a timely manner. What is timely...I think 5 minutes is plenty of time to respond even for the one finger typers
IM etiquettw #3 If you need to leave the conversation temporarily excuse yourself with brb. Don't just leave for an hour and expect the person to be waiting on your return
IM etiquette #4 Finally...Always say good bye or cya or ciao or some salutation when u are ending the conversation.
Anyone have any other suggestions for IM'rs???
 bewitchingall1
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 2
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IM Etiquette
Posted: 10/1/2008 9:55:25 PM
Your a extinct breed dear. Glad there are a few of us around that still understand it takes more then one word answers to constitute a conversation.
Heres to you and all others that know the art

Bewitchingall1
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 3
IM Etiquette
Posted: 10/2/2008 3:42:53 AM
I turned my IM feature off a long time ago. I just find it juvenile. Not only that, it's like leaving your front door wide open when your IM is enabled - virtually anything can get in.
 GoneSailinBabe
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 4
IM Etiquette
Posted: 10/2/2008 5:10:16 AM
I don't IM period.

My first day or two on here was a nightmare until I figured out how to turn that THING OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and one dude got really nasty about it too...
 jackster121
Joined: 9/2/2008
Msg: 5
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IM Etiquette
Posted: 10/2/2008 2:34:52 PM
I agree with all 4. To help keep the conversation going,(not that you should have to) try open ended questions.
Ex. Closed question: Did you have a good day at work?
Ans.: "yes" or "no".
Open Q.: Tell me about your day.
If you still get minimal feedback such as, it was o.k..
Then the person is either closed off emotionally or non-communicative.
Both are bad signs
 bewitchingall1
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 6
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IM Etiquette
Posted: 10/2/2008 3:44:40 PM
LOL...I think I've talked to the same guy!! IM can be a great form of communication; if like others have said; it's used as if u were communicating in person or like a phone conversation. I don't know of anyone just setting the phone down in mid conversation an running to the store but there are those that do it when IMing. It's all just common courtesy.
 bewitchingall1
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 7
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IM Etiquette
Posted: 10/11/2008 12:21:37 AM
pirate u have made some very good suggestions that should be taken by both male and female. Hopefully others will read and follow suit.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 8
IM Etiquette
Posted: 10/11/2008 9:18:57 AM

If your going to IM someone than be prepared. Don't it annoy you if someone IM's you an says "hi" n "how are you" then they say nothing further?
IM etiquette #1 It takes two to talk and if you initiate the conversation I expect you to go beyond pleasantries. I will do my part to respond with something to carry the conversation further.

In my case if you initiate, I'm going to expect some topic. Um, why else would you IM me but to talk to me about....something? I'll hit the ball back, but you gotta throw it to me first. Don't send me an IM and expect me to want to carry a conversation you started.

IM etiquette #2 If you IM a person don't engage in more than one IM if you can't keep up. There is nothing worse then sitting an waiting for a response because the person that IM'd you has more than one conversation going or doing other things that keeps them from responding in a timely manner. What is timely...I think 5 minutes is plenty of time to respond even for the one finger typers

This I disagree with. To me IM is something to do while doing other stuff, unlike a phone conversation where you're tied to it. I never JUST IM, but I will IM while I am working or doing something else. And yes, I do IM more than one, but I don't lose track of anyone. If too many start coming in at once, I will tell certain people I can't talk and get back to them.

IM etiquettw #3 If you need to leave the conversation temporarily excuse yourself with brb. Don't just leave for an hour and expect the person to be waiting on your return.

This varies...again I don't expect that someone would be IMing with nothing else happening...I almost never IM without something else going on. If I am at work, and those I am talking to are, it's understood that we answer when we can, because work takes priority. At home, it's a bit different, and no - I wouldn't go off for an hour, but stuff happens, the phone rings, someone's at the door, you may need to grab coffee or hit the bathroom...that's all understood.

IM etiquette #4 Finally...Always say good bye or cya or ciao or some salutation when u are ending the conversation.

Agreed.

It depends with me on who I am talking to...friends and family I'm more apt to explain what's going on...but like me, they also have things going on while talking. With a random stranger, I don't worry as much.
 bewitchingall1
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 9
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IM Etiquette
Posted: 10/12/2008 2:27:01 PM
Those kind of IM's are quickly dismissed with a click of a button. If they don't get the hint an IM again don't accept or block them.
Msg prior...as far as IMing while doing things is fine even if your response time is slow provided the other party is aware that your busy @ work or whatever. I was refering to the people that IM you for the first time. Why IM someone with no topic to talk about or have other things going on if you have IMd someone to get to know them for the first time. It's not telling me your interested enough to take time from other things if you expect me to carry the entire conversation after you say your initial "hi how are you". If you take the time to IM me for the first time cause your wanting to get to know me then be there for the conversation or don't IM me til you can.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 10
IM Etiquette
Posted: 10/12/2008 4:10:34 PM
^^^You can just open with general conversation if you need to...if there's no substance in the profile, then ask about what's missing. If there's nothing else you want to know about her after you read her profile, then talk about something else. If you bumped into a woman offline you'd have nothing to go on, so what would topic of conversation would you bring in that situation?
 GlindaTheGoodWitch
Joined: 5/23/2008
Msg: 11
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IM Etiquette
Posted: 11/30/2008 5:18:42 PM
My question - how often does the woman initiate the IM?

It is still stuck in my head from my upbringing that "girls don't call guys." I have, however, overcome that and with an invite (in the form of a telephone number!) I can call a guy.

But the IM. Not so sure. So, I wonder, how many women initiate an IM? Or do you email the person first? Or just IM out of the blue?
 GoneSailinBabe
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 12
IM Etiquette
Posted: 11/30/2008 5:24:28 PM
My IM is turned off and I like it that way!!!!!!
For a number of reasons!
 Onceuponatime61
Joined: 10/10/2008
Msg: 13
IM Etiquette
Posted: 11/30/2008 5:50:44 PM
Well first of all I'm out in the middle of nowhere and my only internet option is Dialup. It's turtle slow. I have my instant messenger set to [favorites only] . If someone is on my favorites list then they're there for a reason. I want to talk to them or else I find their forum posts interesting. Or I might ride someone's shirt tail in to the forums. If someone wants to instant message me I hope they have about 10 minutes to wait for mine to connect. But all in all I've not really had too many instant messages where we didn't have a worth while conversation. I've been typing since about 1977 and if I'm instant messaging with someone they're not going to be waiting long for a responce to hit the screen.
Women make comment about men being slow or terrible typers. I think its a matter of making yourself use all your fingers and stop with the two finger peck.
I prefer instant messaging over emailing anyday of the week. But I'm talking yahoo instant messaging not pof. I'm thinking about 1 in 20 instant messaging attempts ever connects for me since I'm a Dialup user. Gosh I'd pay 100 a month if I could get DSL out here. I could get rid of one of my extra phone lines that way too.
Thumbs up on instant messages to me (if your on my favorites)
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 14
IM Etiquette
Posted: 12/1/2008 3:53:54 AM
^^^I agree with this. The bottom line is turning them off if you don't want to be bothered.

I had to address this comment:

Try thinking of the IM as a written telephone call, as that's basically what it is, and treat your caller accordingly. Would you put the phone down without warning and go and eat dinner or walk the dog? A little respect is all that's needed.

IMs aren't the same as callers, because most callers you get you already know (or you want to know). So no, you wouldn't just get up and walk away from the phone; you answer and talk because you know the person and want to. Random calls from strangers would be different.

Therefore, no I wouldn't walk away from an IM chat with someone I know (unless it was understood we're talking during other things, such as work, etc), but someone who IMs me that I've never talked to before is totally different.
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